Latest news with #exboyfriend
CNA
3 hours ago
- General
- CNA
Dislike being bound by the clock? You might be an 'event-timer'
A few years ago, I was 45 minutes late to an anniversary dinner with my then-boyfriend. The mood turned sour immediately because he had to pay pricey parking fees for the additional time I took to arrive. From then on, his voice had an undertone of resentment. That was not the first time I had been tardy on our dates – on numerous occasions he had to wait for me as I was still commuting when he had already arrived. I prefer to go along with the flow and move onto a new activity only after completing a previous task, perceiving the 'end' in a more fluid manner than some other people. In stark contrast, he abides strictly by the clock and when a meeting time is set, deviating from it is inconceivable in his mind. Our inability to reconcile with how we approached time was one of the reasons we broke up, and that dinner was the last straw. Looking back on that parting of the ways, I did some research and learnt about concepts that describe the differences in the ways that my ex-boyfriend and I structure our day. I operate on what behavioural scientists call 'event time', referring to a system where individuals progress at their own internal rhythm, transitioning between tasks when they feel that the last one is finished. As I was working on a project before our ill-fated meeting, I had hoped to make sure it was done well before heading out so that I would not have to think about it for the rest of the night and could enjoy the meal with him. To me, this was more important than meeting up at the predetermined time, which of course backfired in the end. This contrasts with 'clock-timers' who use external cues to guide the way they schedule their actions. If they allocate two hours to finish something, when the two hours have passed, the work is done. While one way of managing time is not necessarily better than the other, the world operates based on the clock. After all, there are non-negotiable activities like flights and doctors' appointments. Would an entire planeload of passengers wait for you just because you are late? Productivity and performance expert Charlene Ng said the dominance of clock-time culture reinforces a narrative of failure for anyone who doesn't fit in. Ms Cindi Wirawan, a career coach, agreed. She said: 'Being an event-timer can be mentally challenging as you could be perceived as disorganised or even unproductive for failing to adhere to schedules. 'They may feel anxious or struggle with guilt whenever they can't keep up.' However, event timers can push themselves to follow the clock out of necessity, punctually submitting work and respecting others' time in order to be empathetic, dependable friends. This does not mean it is their ideal or preferred method of planning their time. Looking back at my time with my ex-boyfriend, I wondered if I had tried to adapt to his way of managing time, the relationship might have kept going. So what are some time management strategies that event-timers can adopt to function better in a world where the clock is dominant?
Daily Mail
20 hours ago
- Daily Mail
Missing TikTok star found dead and dismembered in shockingly gruesome crime
A missing TikToker was found dead and dismembered near a water treatment plant in Lima, Peru, earlier this month. On June 9, the body of Fabiola Alejandra Caicedo Piña, 19, was located while workers were conducting a routine inspection of the La Atarjea plant, reported InfoBae, an Argentinian outlet. Pieces of Caicedo's body were found in bags outside the plant. The gruesome discovery led to police officers and prosecutors showing up to the scene. Police identified Caicedo, who posted her last TikTok on June 5, through her distinctive tattoos. A tattoo on her arm included the phrase, 'Love me for who I am' in English. Another tattoo with the words 'Paula Sophia' was found on her torso. Days later, on June 15, more bodily remains were found. As of June 19, body parts were still missing. While authorities are unsure what caused her death, they suspect she was strangled prior to being dismembered. Two main ideas are circulating among police about who could be behind Caicedo's murder. The more straightforward theory is that the young woman was caught up in Peru's human trafficking trade. In recent weeks, multiple young women have been found dead in the Lima area or in the Rímac River, some of them zipped up into suitcases. Police also believe that Caicedo could have been killed by people who wanted revenge for the death of her ex-boyfriend, who died in 2022 under mysterious circumstances. In 2022, Caicedo left her home country of Venezuela at just 16 years old. She was accompanied by her then-boyfriend, Mayner Yoffrey Giménez Castrillo, who was 21 years older than her. Castrillo died months after the two moved to Lima together, which led to his family suspecting that Caicedo was involved somehow. Various family members publicly accused Caicedo, then a minor, of conspiring with a new romantic partner to kill Castrillo. Police first believed that Castrillo was beaten to death but now think it could have been a suicide. The case remains open three years later. Caicedo has never been formally investigated for her ex-boyfriend's death and continued her lifestyle of working at nightclubs and bars. Police suspect that on the night before Caicedo's death, she was lured away from a party under false pretenses. Cigarette burns on her feet and legs have led police to believe that she may have also been tortured. Her remains were thought to be dumped into the Rímac River, where they later ended up at the water treatment plant. Detectives are still reviewing security camera footage and interviewing people who knew her. No arrests have been made and no suspects have been named in Caicedo's murder.
Irish Times
3 days ago
- General
- Irish Times
‘I'm in my mid-30s and split up with my long-term boyfriend, but now I think I still love him'
Question I'm in my mid-30s and feeling very down. I split up with my long-term boyfriend some months ago and I can't seem to come to terms with it. We had been going out with each other for more than three years and lived together for the last year. For at least eight months there had been a distance growing between us. There was nothing you could put your finger on, no fights or arguments, just a sense that we were not a unit any more. I am suspicious that he may have been with someone in the lead-up to him ending our relationship, but I don't have any proof. I had stopped all physical contact, and we were essentially living together as flatmates. I think he needs to take some responsibility for this, as I need to feel that someone is very attracted to me before I can allow sex to happen. However, I now think I still love him. He moved out, and I was fine at first, but, as the weeks have gone on, I have become more and more down and sad about it. He is talking about going to Australia for a couple of years, and this might have been an adventure for both of us and I am questioning the decision to end it without any real fight. I miss him and would love to tell him that, but I don't want to cause any upset. I now realise what a lovely person he is, but I don't want to cause him more pain. But I'm struggling and am wondering how to move on. Answer It sounds as though the inevitable happened – the relationship was slowly winding down for a year and there may have been a third party and there was no intimacy. This was a significant relationship in your life and so sadness and loss is not only normal, but also appropriate to the level of importance this played in your life. You should trust that you made the best decision at the time – that is, to let the relationship end. When you made this decision, you were happy with it and had your own best interest at the centre of your plans. Now that you are feeling lonely and sad, you are questioning your choices, but it is always good to follow choices you made when in a good or strong place, as these are likely to be right for you. READ MORE Hindsight might not offer you the best perspective in that it can put a rose-coloured tint on the years you were together when in fact you had a long eight months when you did not want any intimacy with him, and you mistrusted that he desired only you. Our bodies can often express intelligence and yours backed away from him and this is worth remembering. Many couples get back together and repeat the same pattern as they had previously – it takes a huge continuous effort to change habits and both people would need to be very motivated to achieve this. You ask two things: whether to tell him that you are reconsidering the relationship or whether to let it go completely. [ 'My husband is obsessed with exercise and sports ... it feels a bit like an affair' Opens in new window ] It is important to make a decision about which direction to go in. If you are considering asking for a second chance, you might talk to friends and family that knew you together and ask what they saw in the relationship and take their advice seriously. If they are overwhelmingly in favour of reconnecting, then you might reach out to your ex for a conversation, but both of you would need things to be significantly different if a new chance were to have a chance of success. If you wish to move on, then you will need to accept that there is a period of grief to process as you begin to put into place all the things your life needs, even if your heart is not quite in it at the moment. For example, having a social life, mixing with friends, making sure that your work fits your interests and create some focus for your passions. It is also good to take up some kind of exercise or sport, as this really helps with the mental trauma of breaking up. [ 'I'm worried: My ex-husband and I have been invited to a wedding' Opens in new window ] There is a possibility that many of your friends are urging you to go dating or do some online flirting, and while this is a generally good idea, the chances are that you are not ready for this yet. You are grieving a lost love and a lost opportunity, and you need to give this time. You mention that you are missing the possibility of an adventure, and this might be something you could explore and put some energy into planning for your future. To send your question to Trish Murphy, fill in the form below, click here or email tellmeaboutit@ .form-group {width:100% !important;}
CNA
19-06-2025
- CNA
Jail for woman who spread intimate images, videos of boyfriend's ex-girlfriend after finding them on his phone
SINGAPORE: Upset that her boyfriend had intimate pictures and recordings of his ex-girlfriend, a woman decided to distribute the compromising material while impersonating the ex-girlfriend. Li Shengnan pretended to be the ex-girlfriend on Instagram, Telegram and the dating app Pure. She then messaged people who knew the victim, in addition to random men. Li, 38, was jailed for 17 months on Thursday (Jun 19) after pleading guilty to one count of distributing intimate images or recordings. Two charges of unauthorised access to and modification of computer material were taken into consideration for sentencing. The identities of the victim and Li's now ex-boyfriend are protected by a gag order. HOW LI FOUND THE MATERIAL Li was then a broker in the reinsurance industry. She was staying at her then boyfriend's residence in 2022 when she picked up his phone. While he was in the shower, Li looked through his phone's photo gallery without his permission. She then saw the intimate videos and images of his ex-girlfriend. This ex-girlfriend had been in a relationship with the man from around 2020 to 2021. Recognising the victim as someone her boyfriend used to date, Li became upset at the content. She did not know the victim personally. Li then transferred the intimate images and videos to her own phone before deleting them from her boyfriend's phone. She did not tell him about what she had done. PRETENDED TO BE VICTIM Later, Li impersonated the victim on Instagram, Telegram and Pure. She created four accounts on Instagram, and also changed her name on Telegram to the victim's name, and inserted the victim's actual Instagram account name in the details of her Telegram account. Li then went through the victim's actual Instagram account and picked out several of her followers. Using her fake accounts, Li distributed the compromising material to these followers via direct messages. On Telegram, Li used the "people nearby" function to find random users. She contacted at least two such users over Telegram and distributed videos and images of the victim to them. Li also impersonated the victim on Pure and contacted multiple unknown males. She conversed with them while claiming to be the victim, and gave them the victim's mobile phone number. She asked them to contact her on WhatsApp instead. Li distributed an intimate image of the victim to one of these men. Between Nov 22, 2022 and Nov 29, 2022, Li distributed at least four videos, ranging from 5 seconds to 57 seconds in length, and at least three images, across seven occasions. The victim was undressed and engaged in sexual acts in these videos and images, and she was identifiable. The victim found out about the distribution from individuals who received her images and videos. She received messages from at least two people on WhatsApp. These individuals informed her that they had been conversing with someone purporting to be her on Pure. She lodged a police report on Nov 27, 2022. Investigators identified Li by tracing the IP addresses used to log into the false Instagram accounts. SENTENCING During sentencing, the prosecution and the defence argued at length over Li's psychiatric reports, disagreeing about how much weight should be attributed to them. The prosecution said that no weight ought to be given to the reports, which indicated that Li had symptoms of mixed anxiety and depressive disorder, which evolved into persistent depressive disorder between August 2022 and October 2024. Reports also indicated that Li married in March 2024 and gave birth to a son in September that year. The prosecution argued that the defence had failed to prove that Li had suffered from a psychiatric condition that materially contributed to her offending. It added that it offered to convene a hearing for the psychiatrist to give evidence and defend his expert opinion on Li's condition, but the defence had rejected this offer. Li was represented by lawyer Gino Hardial Singh. Mr Singh contended that his client was suffering from depressive disorder prior to the commission of the offences, and this was diagnosed in as early as August 2022. Principal District Judge Toh Han Li declined to accord mitigatory weight based on the psychiatric reports, noting contradictions between a finding which stated that Li's rational judgement was impaired and subsequent statements that Li was aware of what she was doing. Pointing to the significant amount of planning and premeditation in the lead-up to the offences, such as the steps Li took to transfer the material to her own phone and then impersonate the victim, Judge Toh said that the offence was not committed on the spur of the moment. He also noted that the offence persisted over seven days.
Daily Mail
17-06-2025
- Daily Mail
Clingy Texas woman used bizarre trick to MARRY boyfriend without him knowing, cops say
A Texas woman has been arrested after she allegedly staged an entire wedding ceremony without the groom's knowledge - then mailed him the marriage certificate. Kristin Marie Spearman, 36, was charged with third-degree felony stalking after police say she orchestrated the bizarre fake wedding following her breakup with her 42-year-old ex-boyfriend. The unnamed victim reported the incident after he received a package from his former girlfriend with what appeared to be an official marriage certificate showing they were husband and wife. The only issue was that he had never attended any wedding ceremony, according to Beverly Hills Police Chief Kory Martin's office on Friday to report the incident. The alleged victim told investigators the he and Spearman had been in a relationship and had even obtained a marriage license around June 2. But the couple had a huge fight and broke up before the wedding could take place to make it official. Chief Martin told KWKT that Spearman allegedly convinced a pastor to certify the marriage despite the groom being completely absent from the ceremony. The woman then allegedly took the fraudulent marriage certificate to the county clerk's office and officially filed it. She then made it appear as though a legitimate wedding had taken place. The victim only found out about the scheme when his ex sent the marriage certificate in a package. Police obtained an arrest warrant for third-degree felony stalking and took her into custody. Spearman was booked into McLennan County Jail. 'I don't think in 23 years, I've ever heard of anybody who managed somehow to get married to someone who wasn't present for a ceremony,' Martin told the outlet. 'I've talked to the victim, and he's going through a significant process to try to have to fix this at this point.' 'So that's a whole other situation. It's not only the concern of what does that mean for my safety my property ... which is a huge conversation in this, but also what I had to do to fix it. ' Martin said his department is not releasing information about which pastor officiated the ceremony as the investigation continues.
