Latest news with #familycommunication
South China Morning Post
08-07-2025
- Entertainment
- South China Morning Post
Malaysian sisters marry foreigners, communicate with hand gestures, spark online hilarity
Three Malaysian sisters have caused online hilarity after they married men from different countries, forcing their family to break the language barriers by using gestures and facial expressions. Advertisement The women's father, Razali Yusof, 85, from Perak in northwestern Malaysia, says they married men from Britain, Egypt and Pakistan, according to local media outlet Harian Metro. Razali said that neither he nor his wife speaks English, and none of his sons-in-law speak Malay. The trio of husbands from Britain, Pakistan and Egypt with their Malaysian wives. Photo: handout This means the family has to rely on hand gestures and facial expressions to communicate. Razali described their conversations as being like 'chickens talking to ducks', a local idiom for mutual incomprehension. He said that after years of living together, they have built a strong mutual understanding and no longer need to use full sentences to communicate. Advertisement Briton Robin Kennedy, 53, was drawn to Azura, the eldest of Razali's daughters, because of her gentle and cheerful nature.
Yahoo
02-07-2025
- Business
- Yahoo
How advisors can reduce estate planning conflicts in 4 steps
Whether it's a reluctance to discuss death or hesitation to ask about inheritance, a lack of open communication among family members presents one of the most significant threats to effective estate planning. Many clients hesitate to share their estate plans with family, sometimes even withholding details from their spouse, said Mike Anderson, a financial planner with AdviceOnly in San Diego. "This secrecy is one of the biggest pitfalls in estate planning," he said. But advisors can facilitate improved connection and communication between clients' family members, even serving as something of scapegoat to shift blame for forcing uncomfortable conversations. Jirayr Kembikian, co-founder and managing director of Citrine Capital in San Francisco, said he encourages clients to "throw us under the bus." "These conversations can be emotional and difficult, so we often recommend clients deflect the burden by saying, 'Our advisor asked if we've done any estate planning and if our documents are up to date,'" he said. READ MORE: Nobody wins when family fights: How advisors reduce conflict Tyler Abney, managing partner at Tidemark Financial Partners in San Diego, said one family he worked with came to him after the unexpected passing of their father. "There was no will, no trust and no clear direction," he said. "The siblings, still grieving, quickly found themselves in conflict over decisions and assumptions over what their father 'would have wanted.' It was a powerful reminder that even the strongest family bonds can be tested when there's no clear plan in place or shared understanding." Here are steps advisors can take to avoid communication breakdowns and reduce conflict in estate planning. To make a family meeting a success, ask clients to set their goals ahead of time and decide who they would like to be involved with, said Jon Robertson, president, director of financial planning and partner at Abacus Planning Group in Columbia, South Carolina. The ground rules he sets for these types of meetings include: Be respectful in words, body language and action; listen; be patient; own your views as your own; be willing to edit what you say; tolerate the tension; and avoid indirect communication. It's also essential for the advisor to outline the consequences if a client fails to form an estate plan, said Reverend Dr. Nicole B. Simpson, the founder of Harvest Wealth Financial in New York City. "Helping a family identify the challenges inaction will present oftentimes helps families focus on true legacy planning," she said. Sometimes verbal communication won't cut it. To express thoughts clearly, written letters addressed directly to family members can be effective. Melody W. Townsend, president and senior financial advisor at Townsend Financial Planning in Mount Sterling, Kentucky, said she has written "open if I should die" letters to both of her children and her husband. She also created a "letter of instructions" for her husband, which includes who to call, how to access her computer passwords "and a very specific note that he is not to dress me in pastel pink for the funeral." "So many parents tell us that their greatest hope is for their children to stay close and not fight over their things," she said. "The best way to help ensure that happens? Document, document and document some more." Personal letters can not only convey a client's wishes after they're no longer able to, but they also become valuable mementos. John Clardy, managing partner and financial advisor of Continuity Wealth Group in Washington, D.C., said children and grandchildren truly value these letters. "They create a sense of belonging and connection to something larger than themselves," he said. Understanding whether a client stands to inherit assets from their parents is important — but often a difficult conversation not just for the advisor with their client, but for the client with their parents. Ryan Frailich, a financial planner with Deliberate Finances in New Orleans, said he has found that clients in their 30s and 40s can use working on their own estate plans as a springboard to opening this conversation with their parents. "I even write an email to my clients that explicitly asks some questions about their parents' finances, and notes that getting more information about what they can expect as their parents age will have a major impact on their lives," he said. Jay Zigmont, CEO and founder of Childfree Wealth in Mount Juliet, Tennessee, said his firm includes a step in its financial planning process they call "a plan for parents." The first step is gathering info to allow clients to understand the situation and set boundaries. He recommended the application NOK Box as a way to gather everything. "What we tend to find is that your parents' planning or lack thereof may have more of an impact on your financial planning than your own planning," he said. Zigmont said it is often the first time clients have had a real conversation with their parents about these topics. "All too often their parents do not have plans but still expect our clients to care for them in their old age," he said. "We often hear, 'You don't have kids, so you can take care of Mom.' This is particularly acute in our soloist clients, single with no kids. … If we don't get to do the planning in advance, we tend to help when emergencies hit their parents. I'll never forget the call with a client who was hiding in her mom's bathroom in tears working on a plan for her care after she broke her hip. It is much harder to respond than to plan in advance." Preventing conflict before it starts often begins by separating the personal from business. Robert Steele, trusts and estates attorney at Schwartz Sladkus Reich Greenberg Atlas in New York City, said he advises against naming family members as executors, especially children or spouses, recommending a neutral party instead. "A neutral, experienced executor navigates the legal complexities efficiently, leading to a smoother probate process," he said. "By appointing a neutral party, you allow your family to grieve without the added burden of financial duties, significantly reducing family strain. A neutral executor ensures your final requests are fulfilled accurately, free from the potential conflicts that can arise within a grieving family." READ MORE: Going corporate: Why letting pros handle estates can be best for clients Hiring outside experts usually starts by involving a third-party estate attorney early in the process, encouraging periodic family meetings and documenting the intent behind major estate decisions. "Silence creates space for assumptions and hurt feelings," said Jordan Gilberti, founder of Sage Wealth Group in New York City. "Communication, even if it's uncomfortable, builds trust and clarity." William "Bill" London, partner at Kimura London & White in Irvine, California, focuses mainly on estate planning and family law. He said he always emphasizes the need to create a clear, legally sufficient plan while the client is healthy enough to communicate what they desire. "Involving the right professionals — lawyers, financial planners and even therapists at times — can make it easier to handle delicate dynamics," he said. Kelsey Simasko, an elder law and estate planning attorney at Simasko Law in Mount Clements, Michigan, said this outside legal help does not supplant the work of the advisor. "Ambiguity and hurt feelings cause family fighting," she said. "As an attorney, I can't do anything about hurt feelings, but I can make sure your plan uses plain language, specific names and what should happen if someone pre-deceases another." Emotional support may also go a long way to increasing estate planning harmony, said Larry Schooler, professor of conflict resolution at the University of Texas at Austin. A trusted neutral third-party facilitator like a therapist, attorney or mediator can help create and maintain a safe space for honest and respectful dialogue, he said. "It can be hard even to broach this topic without support," he said. "We often can't predict how the other person will react." 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News.com.au
25-06-2025
- Health
- News.com.au
Three reasons parents and their millenial or Gen Z kids don't talk
Pride, trust issues and a fear of judgment are preventing Australian families from talking more about mental health, new research has found. Half of parents of 16 to 30-year-olds are uncomfortable talking to their children about their wellbeing, although a third want to. Worryingly, younger people found it even harder to communicate, with 62 per cent of respondents unable to confide in older family members. The next phase of News Corp Australia's Can We Talk? campaign launching today, in partnership with Medibank, will focus on how families can support each other with mental health challenges. The new research, by New Corp's Growth Distillery with Medibank, has exposed the intergenerational barriers holding families back from supporting each other. It found families often lacked the tools, language and 'mental health literacy' to communicate. Young people were most concerned about negative responses. It calls on parents to take the lead and spark conversations around mental health in a casual, empathetic way. Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson said asking for 'consent' before raising a tough topic or sharing advice could be a 'gamechanger'. 'Asking for consent seems like a small thing, but can change a conversation drastically,' he said. 'What I find helpful with my daughter is to say, 'I've noticed this happening with you', and then, 'I have some ideas that could help if you're interested. If you're not, that's totally fine'. 'Or if you are the one opening up, start by asking if someone can just listen.' The father-of-six, and R U OK? ambassador, said there were many reasons why people felt reluctant to share issues with family members. Younger people often worried that a parent would interfere, judge them or deliver a lecture. On the flip side, parents may fear being seen as a 'failure', or want to avoid using their children as 'therapists'. But he said positive communication across generations in families helped build connection. 'We need to equip families to talk about these topics because many struggle,' he said. 'The more we communicate with each other, the more we can develop trust, be vulnerable and sense when someone's okay or not. It's important to be intentional about these conversations because if you are staring at a screen and not each other, it's hard to pick up when someone needs help.' The Growth Distillery research found all topics were harder to talk about with someone in a different generation. But relationship issues topped the list, with more than half reluctant to share across age groups, followed by social pressures (52 per cent) and stress (49 per cent). Relationships Australia CEO Elisabeth Shaw said research showed 18 to 25-year-olds were one of the loneliest groups, and it was important they had someone 'safe' to talk to, whether it was a family member or not. 'Knowing that in their darkest times, young people have someone to talk to, is a huge protective factor for mental health and suicide,' she said. 'But if they feel shut down, dismissed or ridiculed by family, or if there's disinterest, then that hurts more than if it were a casual acquaintance. 'What's important is to talk to somebody who is trustworthy and open to your experience.' She said in many ways, today's young people had more in common with their parents than ever before, such as social media use, online dating and multiple romantic relationships. 'The clash happens when the younger generation feels shut down and misunderstood. A way to take that into account is to enter their world, rather than taking the approach of: 'Do it my way and follow my recommendations'.'
News.com.au
25-06-2025
- Health
- News.com.au
‘It's not straightforward': Huge issue 1 in 3 Aussie parents have never discussed with their kids
One in three Australian families have never talked about one of the biggest problems facing our population — exposing a fundamental disconnect between parents and their children when it comes to having what could be one of the most critical conversations of their life. Research by News Corp's Growth Distillery with Medibank found 28 per cent of parents with 16- to 30-year-old children have never discussed their mental wellbeing with their children, while about half of all parents (49 per cent) with kids in that age range agreed that they do — or would — find it hard to tell them they were experiencing challenges or struggling with their mental wellbeing. It's a problem that remains even when the roles are reversed. Almost two-thirds (62 per cent) of 18- to 30-year-olds said they would struggle to confide in their mum, dad or an older family member about their mental health — despite the fact 47 per cent of all young Australians described their parents as the number one relationship in their life who they wish they could talk to more. Australia is in the grips of a mental health crisis, and people are struggling to know who to turn to, especially our younger generations. Can We Talk? is a News Corp awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank, equipping Aussies with the skills needed to have the most important conversation of their life. Unlike with a partner or a friend, the relationship between parents and their children is 'rarely straightforward', clinical psychologist Amanda Gordon said. 'Parents often feel that they're there to care for their children, to make them feel safe, to bring them up so that they can become effective adults and often, they don't want to worry their children in their childhood about things that might (then) worry them in the future. 'So there is a really complex interplay of, 'How do I talk with my child about mental health in a way that's going to be useful and supportive to them without frightening them or without making them be too introspective and worried about things they needn't be?' … It can be very hard for parents to get onto the (same) wavelength to talk to their children about what's really going on for them.' On the flip side, according to headspace clinical advice and governance national manager, Caroline Thain, 'we know that young people often turn to their peers first when discussing mental health.' About two thirds of Gen Z respondents (68 per cent) speak to their partner about their mental wellbeing at least once a week, if not more often. Informal, peer-driven platforms like Instagram and TikTok also outpace established medical sources and experts as the primary resource of mental health and wellbeing information for our nation's youngest. 'Wellbeing is deeply tied to feeling culturally connected and included,' Ms Thain said. 'If we're not looking at a young person through a cultural lens, we risk missing the full picture. Every young person's environment matters — their community, their culture, their identity. Understanding that helps us support them better.' The attitudinal divide between generations when it comes to mental health cannot be overlooked, she said. Though Australia has 'come in leaps and bounds in even the last 20 years in building emotional literacy in school-aged children, there are still generations finding their voice when it comes to talking about mental health, and some generations may still be navigating outdated beliefs without stigma and worry'. Ms Gordon echoed the sentiment — noting that parents in generations past, particularly baby boomers, 'didn't know that they were allowed to be vulnerable in front of their children'. 'We were brought up to be stoic. We were brought up to not talk about feelings — except perhaps (being in) love with our partner, but otherwise to just get on with it,' she said. 'Women were seen as hysterical if they were sad. Men certainly couldn't show their sadness. They didn't know they could be weak. And now we want parents to acknowledge that there is a vulnerability, and there are ways of dealing with it.' Though 'it is becoming easier, generation by generation, as we destigmatise the whole idea of mental illness', such old-fashioned views can prohibit children from talking to their mum or dad about their difficulties 'if they believe they can't help them — if they believe their parents won't understand them or they won't support them, or they don't have the resources to manage', Ms Gordon said. 'I've met many children who have been wary of upsetting their parents, whom they feel are already burdened by life and find life too difficult themselves,' she added. 'Just because you (as a parent) have a mental health problem, doesn't mean your child will feel that you can be sympathetic to them. They need to see that you can find strategies and solutions to manage your life in order for them to feel safe that you can help them manage theirs.' Often the biggest barrier, Ms Thain said, 'is simply not knowing where to start'. 'That uncertainty can lead to missed opportunities for connection and support,' she continued. 'But sharing the right amount of your own experience can actually help normalise these conversations.' For headspace National Family Reference Group member Michelle Jane, supporting her two eldest children through their own respective mental health challenges 'taught me that listening is often more powerful than speaking'. 'Busy lives can mean fewer chances for deep, honest conversations, and for some parents, mental health wasn't something openly discussed growing up, which can make these talks feel unfamiliar or daunting,' Ms Jane said. '(But) sharing our own mental health experiences with young people helps them feel less alone — it shows that these challenges are part of being human. It's a chance to model healthy coping strategies and to normalise seeking help. Talking openly can also be a way to share what's worked for us — how we've sought support and found ways to manage.' Ms Gordon said it's about changing the language — not the message. 'Parents who are frightened are often frightened — and they've said in (News Corp's Growth Distillery and Medibank's survey) — because they don't know the words to use, or they're worried that they don't know what they would do if their child told them that they were struggling,' she said. 'I think the most important thing about talking about mental illness and mental health crises in families is for everyone to know that everyone is vulnerable, but everyone will also have the resources if we work together to manage that vulnerability.' When it comes to navigating conversations about mental health with your children, the most important thing is to 'be honest, but thoughtful about what you share — your child shouldn't feel responsible for solving your problems', Ms Jane advised. 'Make it a two-way conversation. Let them ask questions and check in with how they're feeling. Respect their autonomy. What worked for you might not work for them, and that's OK,' she said. It's also OK to start small, Ms Gordon said, and 'to not feel like you have to deal with everything in one conversation'. 'Just gently, as a parent, ask your child how they're feeling today,' she suggested. 'Have them take the opportunity to identify different emotions that might occur in response to different events that occurred in their life. How did it make you feel when such and such did this? Or how did it make you feel when I yelled at you before? And talk about those feelings as a starting point. 'Don't expect to get it all done. Stop and listen to the responses, and the responses will guide you as to the next step.'
Daily Telegraph
25-06-2025
- Health
- Daily Telegraph
Why Gen Z kids and their parents don't talk
Don't miss out on the headlines from Mental Health. Followed categories will be added to My News. Pride, trust issues and a fear of judgment are preventing Australian families from talking more about mental health, new research has found. Half of parents of 16 to 30-year-olds are uncomfortable talking to their children about their wellbeing, although a third want to. Worryingly, younger people found it even harder to communicate, with 62 per cent of respondents unable to confide in older family members. The next phase of News Corp Australia's Can We Talk? campaign launching today, in partnership with Medibank, will focus on how families can support each other with mental health challenges. The new research, by New Corp's Growth Distillery with Medibank, has exposed the intergenerational barriers holding families back from supporting each other. It found families often lacked the tools, language and 'mental health literacy' to communicate. Young people were most concerned about negative responses. It calls on parents to take the lead and spark conversations around mental health in a casual, empathetic way. Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson said asking for 'consent' before raising a tough topic or sharing advice could be a 'gamechanger'. 'Asking for consent seems like a small thing, but can change a conversation drastically,' he said. 'What I find helpful with my daughter is to say, 'I've noticed this happening with you', and then, 'I have some ideas that could help if you're interested. If you're not, that's totally fine'. Justin Couslon has given useful tips that he says can be a 'gamechanger'. Picture Lachie Millard 'Or if you are the one opening up, start by asking if someone can just listen.' The father-of-six, and R U OK? ambassador, said there were many reasons why people felt reluctant to share issues with family members. Younger people often worried that a parent would interfere, judge them or deliver a lecture. On the flip side, parents may fear being seen as a 'failure', or want to avoid using their children as 'therapists'. But he said positive communication across generations in families helped build connection. 'We need to equip families to talk about these topics because many struggle,' he said. 'The more we communicate with each other, the more we can develop trust, be vulnerable and sense when someone's okay or not. It's important to be intentional about these conversations because if you are staring at a screen and not each other, it's hard to pick up when someone needs help.' Half of parents of Gen Zs and Millenials are uncomfortable talking about their wellbeing. The Growth Distillery research found all topics were harder to talk about with someone in a different generation. But relationship issues topped the list, with more than half reluctant to share across age groups, followed by social pressures (52 per cent) and stress (49 per cent). Relationships Australia CEO Elisabeth Shaw said research showed 18 to 25-year-olds were one of the loneliest groups, and it was important they had someone 'safe' to talk to, whether it was a family member or not. 'Knowing that in their darkest times, young people have someone to talk to, is a huge protective factor for mental health and suicide,' she said. 'But if they feel shut down, dismissed or ridiculed by family, or if there's disinterest, then that hurts more than if it were a casual acquaintance. 'What's important is to talk to somebody who is trustworthy and open to your experience.' She said in many ways, today's young people had more in common with their parents than ever before, such as social media use, online dating and multiple romantic relationships. 'The clash happens when the younger generation feels shut down and misunderstood. A way to take that into account is to enter their world, rather than taking the approach of: 'Do it my way and follow my recommendations'.' Originally published as Three reasons parents and their millenial or Gen Z kids don't talk
