Why Gen Z kids and their parents don't talk
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Pride, trust issues and a fear of judgment are preventing Australian families from talking more about mental health, new research has found.
Half of parents of 16 to 30-year-olds are uncomfortable talking to their children about their wellbeing, although a third want to.
Worryingly, younger people found it even harder to communicate, with 62 per cent of respondents unable to confide in older family members.
The next phase of News Corp Australia's Can We Talk? campaign launching today, in partnership with Medibank, will focus on how families can support each other with mental health challenges.
The new research, by New Corp's Growth Distillery with Medibank, has exposed the intergenerational barriers holding families back from supporting each other.
It found families often lacked the tools, language and 'mental health literacy' to communicate. Young people were most concerned about negative responses.
It calls on parents to take the lead and spark conversations around mental health in a casual, empathetic way.
Parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson said asking for 'consent' before raising a tough topic or sharing advice could be a 'gamechanger'.
'Asking for consent seems like a small thing, but can change a conversation drastically,' he said. 'What I find helpful with my daughter is to say, 'I've noticed this happening with you', and then, 'I have some ideas that could help if you're interested. If you're not, that's totally fine'.
Justin Couslon has given useful tips that he says can be a 'gamechanger'. Picture Lachie Millard
'Or if you are the one opening up, start by asking if someone can just listen.'
The father-of-six, and R U OK? ambassador, said there were many reasons why people felt reluctant to share issues with family members. Younger people often worried that a parent would interfere, judge them or deliver a lecture.
On the flip side, parents may fear being seen as a 'failure', or want to avoid using their children as 'therapists'.
But he said positive communication across generations in families helped build connection.
'We need to equip families to talk about these topics because many struggle,' he said.
'The more we communicate with each other, the more we can develop trust, be vulnerable and sense when someone's okay or not. It's important to be intentional about these conversations because if you are staring at a screen and not each other, it's hard to pick up when someone needs help.'
Half of parents of Gen Zs and Millenials are uncomfortable talking about their wellbeing.
The Growth Distillery research found all topics were harder to talk about with someone in a different generation.
But relationship issues topped the list, with more than half reluctant to share across age groups, followed by social pressures (52 per cent) and stress (49 per cent).
Relationships Australia CEO Elisabeth Shaw said research showed 18 to 25-year-olds were one of the loneliest groups, and it was important they had someone 'safe' to talk to, whether it was a family member or not.
'Knowing that in their darkest times, young people have someone to talk to, is a huge protective factor for mental health and suicide,' she said.
'But if they feel shut down, dismissed or ridiculed by family, or if there's disinterest, then that hurts more than if it were a casual acquaintance.
'What's important is to talk to somebody who is trustworthy and open to your experience.'
She said in many ways, today's young people had more in common with their parents than ever before, such as social media use, online dating and multiple romantic relationships.
'The clash happens when the younger generation feels shut down and misunderstood. A way to take that into account is to enter their world, rather than taking the approach of: 'Do it my way and follow my recommendations'.'
Originally published as Three reasons parents and their millenial or Gen Z kids don't talk
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News.com.au
30 minutes ago
- News.com.au
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News.com.au
2 hours ago
- News.com.au
Daily Aussie habit that could add years to your lifespan
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News.com.au
7 hours ago
- News.com.au
Rod Butterss, daughter Ash open up on alcoholism battles
Former AFL club boss Rod Butterss and his daughter Ash both picked up a drink before they were teenagers, later facing devastating battles with alcoholism. But today, they share a different bond – beating addiction with each other's support. The ex-St Kilda Football Club president and his daughter, a holistic transformation coach, want to help others overcome barriers to tough conversations. The Melbourne duo have opened up about their roads to recovery for News Corp Australia's Can We Talk? campaign mental health awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank. Ash, 37, is now five years sober and hosts a podcast to reduce the stigma of mental illness and substance abuse. 'There are hard days but I have different tools now, and I know that a drink would never be a good option,' she said. She stays 'content and at peace' by practising and teaching yoga, meditation and breathwork. But she wonders if her journey would've been different had she been able to confide in her parents as a teenager. While she and her dad have spoken candidly on her podcast, Behind the Smile, it was a different story growing up. 'I felt isolated and disconnected, and I really struggled … at 13 I was cutting myself,' she said. 'I had an eating disorder, I was drinking and taking drugs as a way to self-medicate. 'I tried to talk to my parents at the time – and this wasn't their fault – but I think that they parented from a place of fear. 'If they had the tools to have conversations and not shy away from the difficulties … things could've turned out differently.' Ash, whose first marriage fell apart, is now planning her second wedding. But she fears her future children could inherit her demons. 'It's incredible that my dad and I have broken the chain … but it's even made me wonder whether or not I want to have children,' she said. 'This disease runs in my family and the likelihood of my child suffering with mental health and potentially addiction is very high.' Addiction has cost Rod, 66, businesses, marriages, relationships, and the top job at St Kilda Football Club. But after a headline-grabbing battle with booze, cocaine and gambling, the entrepreneur became sober in 2010, with one relapse in 2020. 'We've gotta talk about these things because too many families suffer in silence,' he said. He admits he was largely absent when she was young, but watching Ash's recovery had been 'pure joy'. 'Alcoholism makes you very selfish, and there were occasions where we could have some very deep and meaningful conversations but most of the time I was self-absorbed and busy,' he said. 'As a young father I would just reel off things like 'toughen up son' … so for me it's been about learning to have intimate conversations in a non-judgmental manner, where your job as a parent is to make the other person feel safe.' In fact, Ash said if he had tried to force her to seek help before she was ready, it would have backfired. 'He's been amazing,' she said. 'Dad never pushed me, he's just always been there to champion me in a very hands-off way.' Today, Rod immerses himself in writing poetry, reading, mediation, beach walks and journaling, and is surrounded by a strong recovery community. 'I thought to myself the other day: 'You going okay Rod? You know, you're happy. Life's pretty good',' he said. Psychiatrist and former Australian of the Year Professor Patrick McGorry said research had found some people were genetically predisposed to alcohol dependence, but it was not a foregone conclusion. 'There's a lot of research showing a very strong genetic component for alcoholism and probably other forms of addiction as well,' he said. 'The actual mechanism underpinning that vulnerability is not well understood. If we knew that it would be easier to treat.' He said he would like to see the community view addiction in the same way as other mental health issues. 'With substance abuse, there's a tremendously judgmental attitude, and people say things like 'They made poor choices', or blame others for having an addiction,' he said. 'But addiction is just one type of mental health problem actually.'
