Latest news with #gratitude
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Call it 'The Grateful Divide.' Parents are split on thank-you notes.
Some parents still have kids write thank-you notes and others would be glad to never see one again. Parenting and etiquette experts agree it's important to teach kids gratitude. However, that can be done through a text or video message, they said. Picture throwing a birthday party for your kids. They're excitedly opening presents, and you're keeping track of who gifted what. After the party ends, while your child is napping (or bouncing off the walls from too much sugar — no judgment), you're slowly cleaning the house. Your eye catches that list, and you start to think about the arduous task of thanking everyone for the Lego sets and stuffies. There's a question that's been looming over your head like a cloud, now threatening to rain — do you force your child to write thank-you notes, or not? The practice of expressing written thanks in some way has been around for centuries and, perhaps surprisingly, in an age of ecards, texts, and FaceTime, the greeting card industry is one of growth. And thank-you notes are the third most popular cards after birthday and sympathy, and women buy the bulk of them at around 85%. However, whether they're bought by child-free folks, parents who still believe in handwritten thanks, or parents begrudgingly making the purchase, that's a harder question to answer. Whether you're the type who always has monogrammed notes on hand and covets quality cardstock, or you're a parent who would be most grateful never to have to write a note of thanks again, there's some common ground: thank-you notes have become strangely controversial. The more rebellious gift recipients say the expectation to write notes is outdated and pedantic, while proponents say a handwritten token of gratitude is simply manners 101. Emily Genser, 48, says sending a thank you in the mail is an essential practice. Her 13-year-old son has been diligently working his way through about 75 thank-you notes for gifts he received at his bar mitzvah. Gesner, who lives in Connecticut, is OK with him taking his time — her son has been filling out five notes every day — but feels it's essential that he handwrite a formal card. "I think there's something to be said for the time it takes for my kids to do it," said Genser. That time reflects the effort that went into sending a gift and attending the event, said Gesner, who is also a mom to a 15-year-old. She wants her kids to "understand that things don't come to you out of nowhere," she said. "That there's a person behind every gift." As a fellow mom of two — my daughters are 7 and 11 — I agree with Gesner's sentiment (I do, in fact, keep quality cards on hand for just this purpose). Yet, I lack her follow-through. My oldest's birthday was last month. When she received a card with $20 in the mail from a family member, I told her she could only spend the money after sending a thank-you note. The money is still untouched, and I haven't had the energy to push her to send the notes. When I contacted experts about thank-you notes, I was relieved to see that those I spoke with also have a nuanced approach to thank-you notes. They said it's important that kids express gratitude, but less important that they do that by writing a note. "Forcing kids to write a formal note when it feels like a chore kind of misses the point," Monika Roots, a child psychiatrist, mom of two, and cofounder at Bend Health, said. "What matters more is helping them say thank you in a way that feels genuine, whether that's a quick video, a simple message, or even a drawing. It's less about the format and more about building a habit of gratitude that they'll carry with them as they grow." Roots' advice was music to my ears. In addition to the card and cash, my daughter received a birthday package from her uncle. I took a video of her opening the gift (an instant-print camera) and snapping a photo with it, then quickly sent it to my brother. He loved seeing his niece's genuine joy, and neither my daughter nor I had to put the effort into writing a card that he would just toss. Although it was easier than sending a card, this type of thank you can be just as impactful, said etiquette expert Genevieve Dreizen, author of "Simple Scripts to Support Your People: What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say." "Gratitude builds connection," Dreizen said. "It makes people feel seen, and it strengthens relationships over time. The act of saying thank you — whether it's a scribbled note or a phone call — teaches empathy, mindfulness, and reflection, especially for children." Dreizen said etiquette should be rooted in values, not performance. If your kids prefer making a fun video or a colorful drawing to express their thanks, that's OK. In fact, if they're working on something they're excited about, it may be even more appreciated. "What matters is teaching them to acknowledge kindness in ways that feel authentic to them," she said. If you're a parent who feels strongly about traditional thank-you notes, that's also fine. There are ways that you can make the whole process feel less like a chore for both you and your kids, like doing just a few cards at a time, having fun stationery and pens, or working on them while sharing a snack. Offering a prompt or script can also help, according to parenting coach and mom Jenn Brown. She suggests a fill-in-the-blank type note, like this: Dear [Name], Thank you for [the gift or gesture]. It really meant a lot because [personal reason]. I felt [emotion] when I opened/received it. Thanks again! "It's not about getting every word perfect," Brown said. "It's about helping them build the habit of expressing appreciation in a way that feels doable." Read the original article on Business Insider


The Independent
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Independent
Bake Off's Nadiya Hussain hits back at critics after BBC show cancellation
Nadiya Hussain has spoken out against critics who told her to be "grateful" following the cancellation of her BBC cooking show. In an Instagram video, Hussain asserted her right to feel more than just thankful, including her right to feel anger when treated unfairly. She explained that she grew up in an immigrant household where gratitude was an expectation, making it hard to express other emotions. Hussain's collaboration with the BBC spanned a decade since her 2015 Great British Bake Off win, producing various cooking programmes. Watch the video in full above.


Washington Post
6 days ago
- General
- Washington Post
Miss Manners: Thanking a stranger for a loan
Dear Miss Manners: I belong to a local social media group that lets people loan and borrow items. I recently posted a query asking to borrow a piece of equipment for an upcoming surgery, and someone graciously responded. I'd like to include a token of my gratitude upon returning the item, but have no idea what, since this person is a stranger to me. Can you suggest something?

News.com.au
24-06-2025
- Sport
- News.com.au
Avoid Complacency. Seek Contentment.
'We're always striving for that next shiny object,' says Ashley Adamson, a three-time Emmy Award-winning sports broadcaster and entrepreneur. 'The way that I finally landed on contentment versus complacency is with gratitude.'
Yahoo
18-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
13 Signs Your Raised Ungrateful Grown Up Children
Sometimes, waking up to reality feels like sipping lukewarm coffee—disappointing but eye-opening. You might find yourself scanning through your life, scrolling through your memories, and suddenly hit a smack of realization: your grown-up kids, whom you've poured your soul into, are a tad ungrateful. It's a hard pill to swallow, but acceptance is the first step to change. So grab another cup of coffee, but this time, let's make it strong and hot. It's not that they don't know how to use their fancy smartphones; they're almost glued to them. But when was the last time they called just to check in on you? If your phone only rings when they need a favor, there's a problem. It's like you're an on-demand service, not the nurturing parent you once thought you were. Psychologist Robert Emmons, a leading gratitude researcher, suggests that gratitude is a cultivated habit. If your kids have never been taught to appreciate the small gestures, they might just see your constant availability as a given. When they only reach out in need, it's a sign that the emotional balance is tipped unfavorably. You don't want to be the last resort, do you? Remember those late nights when you stayed up baking cookies for their school events or the countless times you played chauffeur? Those weren't just acts of obligation, but expressions of love. However, do they look back and see these acts for what they were? If your sacrifices are met with a shrug or, worse, forgotten, you might be nurturing a growing ingratitude. It's hard to fathom how easily the scales tip from thankfulness to entitlement. They might have never learned to equate effort with appreciation, living in a world that rewards self-interest. When your past sacrifices are blurred into the background noise of their lives, it's a sign something's amiss. It's time to pull those memories out and polish them in a conversation. Do they walk into your home and treat it like a hotel, expecting things to be just so? If they demand luxuries without acknowledging their privilege, it's a surefire sign of entitlement. You raised them in a world where they learned hard work equals reward, but somewhere along the line, the equation skewed. They've started equating access with deserving, and that's a slippery slope. In a study conducted by Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell, it was found that the younger generations score higher on narcissism and lower on empathy. If they believe they're special without putting in the effort, it's likely they've missed out on understanding the value of gratitude. Entitlement isn't just about asking for more, it's about not appreciating what's already there. Time to rewrite the narrative. Gratitude is free; yet, for some, it feels costly. When was the last time you received a heartfelt "thank you" for your efforts? If your kindness is met with silence, you might be raising ungrateful adults. It's not about needing praise, but about mutual respect and acknowledgment. This lack of gratitude could stem from a lack of awareness or ignorance of how their actions affect others. Sometimes, they may simply not recognize the small gestures you make every day. It's possible that gratitude was never emphasized strongly enough to be habitual. Addressing it directly might be the uncomfortable, yet necessary, wake-up call they need. If your grown-up children act without a thought to your emotional landscape, it's a red flag. When you become an afterthought in their plans, it signifies a lack of empathy. It's not just about missed birthdays or forgotten anniversaries, but the lack of consideration for your well-being. Being sidelined in their emotional calculus is painful. According to the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, empathy is a key component of a harmonious relationship. When your children ignore your emotional needs, they're missing out on a fundamental aspect of human connection. They need to understand that a relationship is reciprocal, not one-sided. It might be time for a serious heart-to-heart. Does every misstep or mistake have an external scapegoat? If your children are constantly deflecting blame, it's a sign of emotional immaturity. Life throws curveballs, but if they're consistently swinging and missing without introspection, there's trouble. Responsibility is the cornerstone of gratitude and self-awareness. When they fail to own up, they miss the growth that comes from learning from their mistakes. It fosters a dangerous pattern where accountability is absent, leading to broken relationships and professional setbacks. You want your children to learn, not just from their triumphs, but from their failures as well. It's a tough lesson, but a crucial one for them to become grounded adults. Busy lives, hectic schedules, we get it. But if they can binge a new series over the weekend but can't squeeze in a coffee with you, there's a disconnect. Time is one of the most generous gifts they can give, yet it's often the hardest to receive. If they consistently choose other obligations over you, it might be time for a reality check. According to time-use studies reported by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, people spend more time on personal care and leisure than we realize. It's not about having hours on end, but acknowledging the value of shared moments. The essence of gratitude is making space for those who matter. If you're not on the list, it's time to have that conversation. Are you constantly feeling judged for your decisions, past or present? When grown-up kids critique your life choices, it can feel like an assault on your autonomy. They might not realize that every choice you made was with their betterment in mind. It's jarring when the roles reverse and they position themselves as the all-knowing critics. Criticism is sometimes a reflection of their own insecurities or misunderstandings. They might think they are helping, but more often than not, it just comes off as ungrateful. Encouraging open dialogue about these judgments can help them see from your perspective. Critique should be constructive, not destructive. Financial or emotional, if they run to you with every crisis and expect a rescue, it's a problem. While it's natural to want to help, the perpetuity of rescue missions signifies a lack of independence. They need to learn self-reliance, not just rely on your safety net. Consistently bailing them out only reinforces dependency. The expectation that you'll always be the one to fix things negates their personal responsibility. It fosters an unhealthy relationship dynamic where they don't develop the skills to manage life's challenges. It may be hard, but allowing them to stumble might be what they need to learn resilience. You're a parent, not a superhero. Do they show up unannounced, expecting meals and a place to crash, or demand your time without regard for your plans? This disregard for your boundaries is a stark indicator of ingratitude. Boundaries are the invisible lines that uphold mutual respect and personal space. Disrespecting them isn't just inconsiderate; it's ungrateful. It's crucial for your well-being that these boundaries are established and respected. When they overstep, it's a sign they're taking your generosity for granted. This behavior needs addressing before it erodes the relationship further. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, not intrusions. Everyone forgets now and then, but if they're consistently missing significant milestones in your life, it's more than just poor memory. It's a sign of where their priorities lie. When important dates pass unacknowledged, it implies a lack of significance placed on your relationship. These moments are the threads that weave the tapestry of connection. Forgetting these occasions suggests an emotional distance that might be growing between you. It's not about grand gestures, but the small acknowledgments that matter the most. If they can't remember the dates that are important to you, it may be time to have an open discussion about their priorities. Every missed moment is a missed opportunity for connection. When they reach out, is it always a hand out instead of a hand up? If they constantly seek your assistance without ever reciprocating, it suggests an imbalance. Relationships are a give-and-take, not a one-way street. A lack of reciprocity can leave you feeling like the relationship is based on obligation rather than mutual care. They might assume your resources are infinite, both emotionally and materially. Offering help is natural, but expecting it as a given skews the equilibrium. They need to learn that relationships thrive on mutual support, not just one-sided assistance. It's time they understand the value of giving back. Mistakes happen, but if "I'm sorry" is missing from their vocabulary, there's a problem. The inability to apologize suggests a lack of accountability and emotional maturity. It's not just about admitting fault, but about respecting the relationship enough to want to make amends. An apology is a small act with big implications. Apologies are the glue that mends fractures in any relationship. Without them, grudges and resentment can fester, poisoning otherwise good connections. If they struggle to say those two simple words, it might be time to model what a sincere apology looks like. Forgiveness is rooted in acknowledgment, and that starts with an apology.