09-07-2025
If Someone Does These 10 Things, They Might Be a 'Master Manipulator,' Psychologists Warn
If Someone Does These 10 Things, They Might Be a 'Master Manipulator,' Psychologists Warn originally appeared on Parade.
Manipulation can cause serious harm to people's mental and emotional (and even physical) well-being. However, some people are so skilled at deceiving others that it's challenging to spot their tactics until it's too late. These people hold the dubious distinction of "master manipulators." While "master manipulation" is not a clinical term, psychologists often know one when they see one (or hear victimized clients talking about one)."A master manipulator is a magician so talented that you forget there's a show," warns Dr. Patricia Dixon, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist. "They're the covert operators of the influence game, employing charm and deceit with equal precision until you start thinking, 'Maybe I'm the one overreacting.' They are the art of making you believe you're the puppeteer when they're secretly pulling the strings."Psychologists share 10 subtle things master manipulators often do, plus ways to cut the strings and reclaim your
Master manipulators are proof that first impressions aren't everything."Master manipulators often present as likable and attentive," says Dr. Monique Mendoza, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist. "Manipulators will often initially be described as 'charming,' or make you feel like you're the only one in the room."However, it's all a facade. The goal is to build (and abuse) trust. "They are always quick with a response and always seem to be able to draw people close to them, but you never really feel like you are getting to know them," adds Dr. John Delatorre, Psy.D., a forensic psychologist. "That's the key—they make you feel like some connection is stronger than what is actually real. In order to get what they want, a master manipulator has to have access to people to give things to them."Related:
Despite the faux charm and charisma, master manipulators seem to cry foul constantly."Manipulators position themselves as a victim, often to seek sympathy and support," Dr. Mendoza warns. "You may hear statements like, 'He always has it out for me,' or 'I feel like I can never get ahead.'"
One psychologist reveals that master manipulators weaponize guilt—a form of emotional blackmail."They make you you owe them something when you know you don't," reports , a psychologist with Thriveworks. "They may say things like: 'If you really cared for me, you would do this,' or 'You're so selfish for not considering my feelings.'"Related:
While psychologists note that gaslighting is often misused these days, master manipulators absolutely employ these tactics. "They try to convince you that the sky is green when it's clearly blue," Dr. Dixon says. "They want to plant seeds of doubt and confusion in your mind, making you question your own observations."
Dr. Vaughan points out that master manipulators lie so much that they can even fool themselves."They have a hard time keeping their stories together," she explains. "They make promises they don't intend to keep. They often change plans at the last minute."Related:
One of the more harmful strategies employed by these individuals is to isolate you from others, with the intention of gaining more control over you and your actions."They often become overly jealous or possessive and try to make you feel bad about yourself with belittling comments, criticisms or humiliation to make you feel inadequate or unworthy," Dr. Vaughan reveals. "They may say things like, 'You're not good enough' [and] 'You're lucky to have me in your life,' for the purpose of wearing down your confidence and making you dependent on them."Related:
You know the idea that it's better to give than receive? Big-time manipulators don't live by it—at all."Master manipulators are only about obtaining, not giving," Dr. Delatorre reports, adding that this behavior applies to emotional connection or physical says that master manipulators often employ two schemes to achieve their goals."There's the 'door in the face' technique where the manipulator asks for something outrageous, and the person has to say 'no' but then feels guilty for saying no," he the person feels obliged to say "yes" to a lesser option—which Dr. Delatorre reveals is exactly what hte manipulator wanted the whole time."There is also the 'foot in the door' technique, where the manipulator asks for things at an increasing level, so $5 becomes $10 becomes $25 and so on until the manipulator has milked the person dry," he
Repair and remorse are not in their repertoire. "Even when caught being a manipulator, the person will never say 'sorry,'" Dr. Delatorre warns. "They will never truly apologize for the harm they have committed. It could be that they do not feel remorse."
Perhaps the reason master manipulators don't apologize is that absolutely nothing is ever their fault."They will always place the blame on someone else to keep themselves innocent and in control," Dr. Dixon
Master manipulators have a hard time saying "game over," perhaps because it's become a lifestyle."They cannot stop," Dr. Delatorre explains. "Master manipulators have been living this kind of life for so long it's just second nature. When caught, they will just come up with another lie to make it seem like what the person sees is not real."Related:
Consider boundaries a guardrail to protect your emotional well-being. It won't be easy to enforce them because master manipulators have serious issues respecting boundaries."Master manipulators often exploit a lack of boundaries to control and influence others," Dr. Vaughan says. "You need to define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior and communicate assertively. Be prepared to walk away when and if they do consistently ignore your boundaries."Related:
Master manipulators can weaponize anything and thrive on triggering emotional reactions and gathering information about you that they can use to increase their control."By limiting engagement and information given, it minimizes their influence over you," Dr. Vaughan explains. "Practice assertiveness by utilizing 'I' statements to express emotions and needs without accusing. Keep information factual and to the point."Related:
All the gaslighting can leave you in a constant state of doubt. However, Dr. Mendoza advises people to check in with their minds and guts. If you need help reflecting, she suggests asking yourself:
Do I feel drained after our interactions?
Do their stories glaze over details to make them look good?
Do I worry about what will happen if I say "no" to their requests?
"These questions can help you check how this person has been impacting your thinking and decision-making process," she ts
Realizing you've been taken for a ride can send you on a shame spiral. Remember, it's not your fault."Many of their tactics are fully seen for what they are until you stop engaging with them," Dr. Mendoza points out. "Seek support from trusted family, friends or professionals to rebuild your trust in relationships."
Up Next:Dr. Patricia Dixon, Psy.D., licensed clinical psychologist
Dr. Monique Mendoza, Ph.D., licensed psychologist
Dr. John Delatorre, Psy.D., forensic psychologist
Dr. Denitrea Vaughan, Psy.D., LPC-S, psychologist with Thriveworks
If Someone Does These 10 Things, They Might Be a 'Master Manipulator,' Psychologists Warn first appeared on Parade on Jul 8, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 8, 2025, where it first appeared.
