Latest news with #workingmoms
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Contributor: Kids in camp? Nope. Got a summer schedule? Nope. Cue the mom guilt
'How's your summer?' a mom asked from across the living room at a baby shower in June. She was standing with a small group of other moms of my daughter's classmates whom I hadn't seen since school ended almost a month earlier. 'It's the best thing that's ever happened to me,' I replied, honestly. From across the coffee table, their eyes widened, and their mouths skewed into disbelieving shapes. I understood the sentiment. The moms on the other side of the table all work year-round full-time jobs that necessitate puzzling together child care for 11 weeks while school is out. For them, that care usually looks like a conglomeration of scattered camps that drastically increase their weekly mental load with challenges of transportation, different start and stop times, and clothing and supply lists for each kid and every camp. As one mom at the party described this stress, her eyes filled with tears, and she wasn't even addressing the ridiculous monetary cost of keeping her kids supervised while she and her husband worked. 'You didn't sign up for any camps, right?' another mom eventually asked. 'No.' I didn't. I'm spending every day with my 5-year-old and 6-year-old. Our only planned activity is an hour of swim team three mornings a week that is run by a local college's swim program and still feels exorbitantly expensive. While recent headlines and TikTok videos about kids forgoing camp to 'rot' or go 'wild' or regress to the perfect ''90s summer' focus on outcomes, my family's conversation was really about the cause: the financial realities of parenthood. Like those moms, I made my summer plans primarily for financial reasons. They need camp so they can go to work; as a teacher, I have flexibility during the summer and don't need child care so I can work — and camp would have cost more than my salary, anyway. This past school year I returned to the classroom for my first full-time job since my oldest child was born in 2018, but I also continued my gig work as a freelance journalist. While my 8-3 job guaranteed a regular paycheck in this unreliable media landscape and matched my kids' school hours, so we wouldn't need to pay for additional child care, freelancing was still the bulk of my income. Thus, I found myself employed but still participating in an 'infinite workday' as I filled my late nights and early mornings with writing. By the time the first camp registrations opened in January, I'd proven that I could meet deadlines outside of normal working hours, and camp for two kids was unjustifiably expensive. My husband agreed with my plan to forgo camp, and I tried to quiet the guilt that my kids would be missing the art or athletic enrichment. Five months later, I was exactly one week into our unscheduled time when the Cut asked, 'Why not let your kids have a 'wild' summer?' The article argued for the benefits of leaving these months unplanned, 'giving kids space to feel dreamy, inspired, excited, or nothing at all.' A week later, the New York Times followed up with its own question: 'Is it OK for your kids to 'rot' all summer?' In its examination, the article goes so far as to declare that summer is 'a parenting Rorschach test' revealing if a parent has a relaxed approach to raising kids as opposed to a focus on 'skill-building and résumé-padding.' pointed out that an unscheduled summer is impractical for working parents. "Good Morning America" argued that such boredom can be beneficial for this generation of overscheduled kids. The Cut ran a counter-argument to its original column that pointed out how taxing 'screen management' can be at home, and Slate bemoaned the pressure that comes with planning "summer de-escalation." At the beginning of July, Vox even questioned if kids are capable of experiencing the "delirious boredom" of a '90s summer. Much of this discussion has been out of touch. From the thorny linguistic implications of the phrase "rot" to the ludicrous notion that every aspect of parenting needs to have merit (even, ironically, doing less), it's all missing the point that most parents don't have the luxury of time for this level of analysis nor for the 'best practices' that such analysis might suggest. They just feel the weight of judgment for failing to have that spare capacity. It also should not go unnoticed that these articles are all written by women and quote women, which mirrors a universal truth about summer: Moms are surely more likely to be both the schedulers of camp and the caretakers of the children not attending them because they are managing about 71% of the planning, organizing and scheduling within their household. After I told those other mothers that this summer was 'the best thing that's ever happened to me,' I immediately felt 'mom guilt.' Not because I think the empty time my kids fill catching dragonflies in the backyard or squirrelling away to their rooms to listen to audiobooks or cuddling with me in bed to watch an afternoon movie — all done amid constant bickering and wrestling — is more or less valuable than time spent in camp, but because my mental load is currently lighter than those of the other moms who were at the shower. This — not whether your kids are at camp or not — feels closer to the real problem. Modern society isn't built to support modern families. From agrarian-based school years to a lack of affordable child-care options and support for parents who are caretaking, every parent is doing the best they can within a system that is failing them in every season. (When the viral load surges this winter, I'm sure we'll be back to talking about parents missing work to care for sick kids.) Summer is just a three-month microcosm of the larger issues facing parents and, more specifically, moms who are desperate for a lessening of their mental load. Ultimately, I think that's what all these articles are really arguing for when you read between the lines. Returning to the idealized '90s summer of my childhood is less about what kids are doing and more about what parents aren't doing. Maybe the one thing each perspective has in common is that parents, especially moms, are justified in wanting to do less cultivating and scheduling of their children, because we all deserve a brief foray into the seemingly endless summers of our childhood before this summer, like all summers, ends. Sarah Hunter Simanson is a parent, teacher and freelance writer in Memphis. If it's in the news right now, the L.A. Times' Opinion section covers it. Sign up for our weekly opinion newsletter. This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times. Solve the daily Crossword
Fast Company
14-07-2025
- General
- Fast Company
How working parents can balance ambition and guilt
A few years ago, I met a woman at a networking event who whispered her confession over a plastic cup of chardonnay: 'I love my job. I'm proud of what I've built. But every time I miss a school play or forget to sign a field trip form, I feel like I failed them.' She didn't say who 'them' referred to. Perhaps her kids, society, herself. Maybe all three. That moment stuck with me because it symbolized the tension so many ambitious parents live with every day: The drive to achieve versus the guilt that comes from not always being present for our family. And let's be clear, this isn't just a working mom issue. Dads feel it. Stay-at-home parents with side hustles or passion projects feel it. Anyone who wants something outside of parenthood—whether it's a promotion, a creative dream, or even just a regular workout routine—knows that familiar battle between showing up for yourself and showing up for your kids. Where does the guilt come from? Let's start with the root of this guilt. For many of us, especially women, ambition and parenting, have long been thought of as rival (if not warring) priorities. A parent who is all-in at work is assumed to be checked out at home. The culture tells us you can't be fully present in both places. And if you try, be prepared to be stretched thinner than a toddler's patience in a long checkout line. Social media certainly doesn't help. While we're eating chips over our laptops, we scroll past moms packing bento box lunches with star-shaped cucumbers and love notes. We see dads coaching every Saturday soccer game while we're FaceTiming from a hotel room on yet another work trip. The comparison game is brutal. Yet, guilt doesn't only come from comparing ourselves to the parents who treat lunch prep like a Top Chef challenge. It hits because we care. Ambitious parents aren't just chasing promotions, we're also chasing snuggles, bedtime stories, and the sense that we're nailing this whole 'being a present parent' thing. So if we fall short, it feels like a dagger to the heart. Is it possible to be ambitious and a great parent? The short answer is yes. But not without first redefining what 'great' really looks like. Being a good parent isn't about being there for every single moment. It's about being there for the ones that matter most. You can miss the bake sale and still raise a kid that feels cared for and secure. What children need more than perfection is a realistic role model. They need to see what it looks like to pursue a dream, have challenges, set boundaries, and show up for the people you love. When it's rooted in purpose, ambition teaches kids resilience, how to manage their time and what it looks like to care deeply about something. That doesn't mean we should be so focused on the next achievement that we miss what's happening right in front of us. The key is staying in sync—pursuing your goals without neglecting your child's needs . . . or your own.
Forbes
26-06-2025
- Health
- Forbes
How To Support Breastfeeding Moms Returning To Work
Woman pumping breast milk while working form home Returning to work after having a baby is one of the most emotionally and logistically challenging transitions a parent can face. For breastfeeding moms, that transition includes added complexities: finding a safe, private space to pump, juggling feeding schedules with Zoom calls, and navigating cultural stigma that still exists in 2025. While the challenges are significant, support systems, legal protections, and workplace resources have become increasingly available. With the right preparation and awareness of available accommodations, it is possible to facilitate a smoother, more equitable return to the workplace. Know Your Breastfeeding Rights And Use Them "Contact HR or your manager ahead of your return to work and share your plans for breastfeeding." "Be proactive," advises Virginia Dawson, MD, Psychiatry Lead at Headspace. "Contact HR or your manager ahead of your return to work and share your plans for breastfeeding. Ask what accommodations or benefits are typically available, and don't be afraid to ask for what you need." Federal protections are on your side. The PUMP for Nursing Mothers Act mandates that employers provide: Beyond legal protections, some employers go above and beyond. "Some offer milk transport services for traveling employees," says Dr. Dawson. "Many insurance companies will also cover the cost of a breast pump and supplies, so it's worth calling your insurance and checking what's included." Rachael Jones, MSN, APRN, SVP of Clinical Client Strategy at WIN, echoes the importance of self-advocacy: "Breastfeeding is a normal, healthy, and essential part of caring for your baby. As a breastfeeding mom, it's important to remember that you have the right to feed your child whenever and wherever they're hungry, and you should never feel ashamed or apologetic for doing so." If someone stares or comments, she suggests calmly responding with, "I'm feeding my baby, and this is a protected right." Ease The Transition And Emotional Whiplash Around Breastfeeding Going from snuggly newborn mornings to morning meetings with a breast pump isn't just a logistical shift. It's an emotional rollercoaster. "Take time to acknowledge the significance of returning to work and give room for big emotions," says Dr. Dawson. "For many, this will be the first significant amount of time away from your little one." Both experts agree that creating supportive rituals can help: When it comes to practical prep, don't be shy about redundancy. "Don't be afraid to buy multiples of your favorite pump flanges or bottles," says Dr. Dawson. "This reduces time spent washing between sessions. Also, consider a go-bag with breast pads, a light blanket, snacks, a water bottle, and maybe a mantra card for tough moments." Normalize Breastfeeding, Starting With Yourself If you're feeling nervous about feeding in public or at work, Jones recommends internalizing one key fact: "Breastfeeding is a powerful, primal, and sometimes humbling experience. The world isn't always set up to make it easy, but that's not your burden to carry." Her advice is to normalize it for yourself first. "Practice feeding in front of a mirror or with a trusted friend if you're worried about positioning or coverage. The more you normalize it at home, the less it feels like a production out in the world." Confidence comes with time. So does comfort. "Confidence grows with time, not instant perfection," Jones adds. If you notice thoughts like 'Am I making people uncomfortable?' try reframing them: 'I'm caring for my baby.' This is exactly what my body is meant to do. " Create A Breastfeeding Support System In-Person And Online Breastfeeding doesn't just take physical effort. It can feel isolating and all-consuming, especially ... More if you're navigating complications like low supply or a NICU journey. Breastfeeding doesn't just take physical effort. It can feel isolating and all-consuming, especially if you're navigating complications like low supply or a NICU journey. "Seek out support," Dr. Dawson advises. "Get involved with local or virtual communities to share tips, frustrations, and solidarity." Jones agrees. "As a mom to a preemie, I faced a lot of challenges," she shares. "My daughter didn't have the strength to latch right away, and I was triple-feeding. The encouragement I received from Facebook groups and NICU mom friends was invaluable." Support groups like La Leche League International offer free peer-led meetups, and local Baby Cafés often provide drop-in lactation help. Even joining a virtual community can make a difference when 2 a.m. feels particularly lonely. Tap Into Breastfeeding Resources "Many moms don't realize that their employer may offer lactation-related support through maternity benefits," says Jones. That can include: Apps like Lactation Network can connect you to consultants covered by your insurance. Dr. Dawson notes that IBCLCs (International Board Certified Lactation Consultants) are trained to "observe feeds, troubleshoot issues, and help build a plan that works for you and your baby." And yes, home visits are often covered by insurance. Jones also recommends investing in hands-free pumping bras and cordless breast pumps. "They made it easier for me to pump while moving around, washing parts, eating, even sitting in a restaurant." Mental health resources are equally important. "If you're struggling, please ask for help," says Dr. Dawson. "Postpartum mental health support is just as essential as physical recovery. Reassess often whether continuing to breastfeed is right for your mental health. Fed is best." You're a Breastfeeding Mom Doing Her Best Creating a supportive environment for breastfeeding employees requires more than compliance with ... More policy. While societal attitudes toward breastfeeding have improved in recent years, the broader cultural shift is still in progress. Normalizing lactation in public spaces and professional environments remains an ongoing effort, making individual advocacy and visibility all the more impactful. "Advocating for yourself doesn't always mean being loud or confrontational," says Jones. "It can be as simple as speaking clearly about your needs, expecting respect, and not backing down when met with discomfort." Creating a supportive environment for breastfeeding employees requires more than compliance with policy. It involves building a workplace culture that acknowledges both the logistical and emotional realities of returning to work. For those in need of support during this transition, a range of resources is available. Healthcare providers, human resources departments, and organizations such as Postpartum Support International can offer guidance related to lactation, mental health, and workplace reintegration. Accessing these services is not only appropriate but also essential for sustainable caregiving and professional success. And if it all feels overwhelming, take a breath. Ask for help. "Try to focus on what's working or not working and make adjustments to suit your needs," Dr. Dawson emphasizes. "Prioritize your mental health when making decisions around breastfeeding. Improved maternal mental health will, in turn, have a positive impact on your bond with your baby and will lead to better overall outcomes for you both."
CBC
26-06-2025
- General
- CBC
Parents are pressured to give kids an '80s summer. Are we wearing nostalgia blinders?
Social Sharing Call it what you will: '80s kid summer, feral kid summer, old-fashioned kid summer or kid-rotting. However you label it, the internet is rife with posts waxing nostalgic for the unscheduled summers of decades past, when kids spent their days roaming free on bikes, living off Popsicles and figuring out what to do all on their own. "There are only so many childhood summers," warn some articles, as others admonishingly tell parents that boredom creates autonomy and creativity, and remind us that kids deserve unstructured downtime like everyone else. But all these posts can make modern parents feel guilty. They also ignore the reality that in most dual-income or single-parent families, structured child care is necessary. There's also the assumption — and it's not even subtle — that the parent providing the carefree summer in question is the mother, said Allison Venditti, a Toronto-based human resources expert and founder of Moms at Work, an advocacy group for working mothers. "What none of this addresses ... is it requires mental load and planning from women," Venditti told CBC News. "It's the same idea as the magic of Christmas. It isn't magic — it's mothers." Decades ago, this may have looked like the mother staying home with the children and keeping the fridge stocked, co-ordinating with a neighbour to help check in, or letting their children stay home unsupervised simply because they lacked other options. Of course, everyone wants to do the best they can for their kids, Venditti says. But between the rising cost of living and most parents working or looking for work, a carefree summer at home is rarely feasible these days, she added. "Way to make people feel even worse. It's like, 'Oh, you can't pay your mortgage and you can't spend the summer letting your child be free?' That's heavy for people." WATCH | Why dads live longer: Become a dad, live longer 21 days ago Duration 1:01 As more moms work, more kids need child care A lot has changed since the 1980s. There are iPads, every kid has a water bottle at all times and penny candy will cost you a lot more. (Some Canadian kids may have never even seen a penny.) But one of the biggest differences is the number of mothers in the workforce and child-care options. The employment rate for Canadian mothers has nearly doubled since 1976, when 40.5 per cent of mothers worked, compared to 2023, when it climbed to 79.8 per cent, according to Statistics Canada. During the same time period, the employment rate for fathers was almost completely unchanged. Employment rates for moms did start climbing in the '80s, but were still far lower than today. And even as more mothers entered the workforce, there were few formal child-care options, says a publication by the Institute for Research on Public Policy (IRPP). In 1986, there were fewer than 200,000 licensed centre-based child-care spaces across the country, noted the IRPP, compared to seven times that in 2019. And in 1981, the majority of child care was provided by family, extended family, or paid neighbours and non-relatives. Along with dual-income families, the number of working, single mothers has increased, as well, notes the Vanier Institute of the Family in a recent report. All told, these trends have "increased the need for non-parental child-care options," the report says. In 2023, it says, just over half of children under age six were in some form of non-parental child care. In 2022, 40 per cent of Canadian schoolchildren aged four to 12 participated in some form of before- or after-school care, according to Statistics Canada. WATCH | Is parenting harder today? Is parenting harder today than it used to be? 9 months ago Duration 4:06 A public health advisory says today's parents face unique challenges that can impact their mental health. Some parents from older generations say raising children has always been, and always will be, a struggle. Can we really say which generation has had it the worst? Romanticizing boredom Earlier this month, a new term started trending online: kid rotting. The Guardian defines it as "a 2025 way of describing letting your kids do nothing in the summer holidays," and the New York Times calls it "internet parlance for indulgent lounging." "What if, some are daring to wonder, my kid does nothing?" notes the June 8 New York Times article. But as some parents bemoan that now they have to plan their kids' perfect unplanned summer, others online are pointing out that even being able to ponder the option is a privilege. "Working parents don't get to choose between enrichment or free-range boredom. They're juggling jobs and patch-working together child care so their kids are safe, cared for and maybe even — gasp — having fun," wrote U.S. parenting account "Team Camperoni" on TikTok earlier in June. Bryce Reddy, a U.S. therapist and mom of three, wrote on Instagram last month that slow summers sound lovely, but the reality is most parents don't have nine weeks of paid time off to sustain them. "If your summer looks more like 'drop-off, pickup, repeat' than backyard picnics and leisurely 'yes' days, you're not alone," Reddy wrote. "You're doing what you need to do to keep your kids happy, safe, and cared for while you work and that's pretty great." Nostalgia blinders Venditti, the founder of Moms at Work, says she suspects many people have nostalgia blinders on. A lot of the time, '80s summers were about survival, she noted, with parents just trying to keep their kids occupied and safe however they could, with fewer options than today. It also wasn't always ideal, she added, with perhaps a neighbour at the ready with Band-Aids or an older relative telling you to fend for yourself during The Young and the Restless. In 1976, the U.S. Department of Commerce estimated that 13 per cent of its country's children between seven and 13 went without adult supervision before or after school. By the mid-'80s, a wave of research and articles focused on so-called latchkey kids and fears about them developing anxiety, depression or getting into risky behaviours. "Latchkey children face potentially disastrous consequences from being left alone," warned the Washington Post in 1985. From the '60s through to the '90s, it was common for evening newscasts to end with a PSA for parents: "It's 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?" WATCH | A PSA for parents: Today, in Canada, most provinces and territories don't set a minimum age to allow a child to be left home alone, but social services typically advise that no child under age 12 be left home unsupervised, according to 2021 research. Parents have been arrested for letting kids walk alone, and have had child welfare services called for letting their children play unsupervised in their own backyards. "Every mother should scream, 'What do you want from us?'" said Venditti. "You do it this way, it's bad. You do it the other way, it's bad.... The expectations are through the roof."
Forbes
16-06-2025
- General
- Forbes
Is Working From Home Benefiting Moms — Or Adding To Their Workload?
Work from home mom getty For many, working from home began as a response to a crisis. Now, while many can't imagine their lives without it, for some mothers, it has created a new kind of crisis – one in which they juggle work and family in a never-ending double shift. Scandalous stories of remote workers multitasking two full-time jobs simultaneously don't shock me – I'm a WFM mom. Long before the Covid-19 pandemic, working remotely with a flexible schedule was one of my top priorities. As a twenty-something in the 2010s, I enjoyed the freedom to travel and work at hours when I felt most productive. Then, after I gave birth to my daughter in 2022 as a single mom, working from home was essential for me to be able to thrive in both my career and as a parent, especially as a sole caregiver. I know that I could make a higher income in a more traditional role, but for my situation, the flexibility is well worth the trade-off. Many moms agree. But, I have to wonder – although working from home allows us to 'have it all,' do we end up instead 'doing it all' and taking on even more responsibilities? During the pandemic, moms in heterosexual two-parent families more often shouldered the child care and helped with virtual schooling, even when both parents were working from home. 64 percent of mothers said they were responsible for the majority of child care and only 35 percent of fathers, according to a May 2020 poll. Even when children are physically in the classroom, most work schedules do not match up with school calendars, creating gaps during school breaks as well as afternoons and sick days. Post-pandemic, moms are still taking on more of that care, according to a 2022 Pew Research Center survey, which reported that 78 percent of mothers in two-parent households say they do more when it comes to managing their children's schedules and activities. Another study researching those family dynamics found that both men and women did more housework and child care when they worked from home, but women did proportionally more, even when they had similar work situations. And women who worked from home felt more guilt about conflicting work-family priorities than women who worked in a traditional environment. Likely, you don't need statistics or data from research studies to understand these perspectives. Being a working mom isn't easy, whether you're in an office or working from home. But the inclination to take on ever-increasing responsibilities at home can perpetuate a cycle in which WFM mom are handling so many family and household tasks that they couldn't go back to the office even if they wanted to – at least not without a dramatic redistribution of the work of the home. That's because working from home does free up a substantial amount of time. According to a 2023 study, American workers saved an average of 72 minutes a day by removing the commute to an office. Post-pandemic remote work policies are also credited with keeping more moms in the workforce. On the surface, the advantages of WFH for mothers are undeniable. In addition to saving time commuting, remote work typically with additional flexibility, such as the ability to attend school events. But, just because we can now 'do it all' – is it taking its toll? In addition to the hours of household responsibilities that women take on, it's important to also consider the mental load of balancing home and work priorities simultaneously. As Dr. Regina Lark, author of 'Emotional Labor: Why A Woman's Work is Never Done and What To Do About It,' writes in her book, it is the remembering, reminding, planning, noticing and anticipating that is the invisible work of mental and emotional labor. Dr. Lark gives an example during a phone interview. 'It's not just about making dinner; it's about planning family meals, checking the fridge and pantry to see what you already have and should use, creating a shopping list, purchasing groceries, coordinating family schedules to determine the right time to serve dinner that evening and planning backwards to create a timeline for preparation, cooking and then noticing how each member of the family seems to like the meal to adjust for next time. 'Making dinner' might just sound like one simple task, but it's really an entire project to be overseen.' While individual household tasks may seem small when looked at in silo, additional workload at home leads to decreased productivity at work. A Pew study on working parents showed that 23 percent of working moms (versus 15 percent of working dads) report having turned down a promotion due to juggling work and parenting responsibilities. Wage gaps and career advancement have long-term consequences, as well as furthering the sentiment that there just isn't enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Dr. Lark remarks, "The blurring of boundaries between professional and personal spaces has led to many women working longer hours and still not complete their 'to do' list.' So, what is the solution? Every family has different needs and priorities, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. For myself, a solo parent, it may mean preemptively setting boundaries on where I'll spend my time. I take care of my daughter when she's home sick, but find alternative child care during planned breaks to make sure my work isn't disrupted. I intentionally save my household chores for when my daughter is with me and let her 'help' with the laundry and dishes, so I'm not as distracted by these tasks while I'm working. For WFM mothers with opposite sex partners, Dr. Lark suggests having intentional conversations about sharing all the work of the household. 'Modern households have transformed dramatically, yet the work of running a home still falls disproportionately to women. Women and men need deliberate dialogues to make visible the invisible work of the home by discussing what needs to happen on a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly and occasional basis. Often, one partner thinks they've shared their overwhelm in those moments of frustration, but by having a calm conversation through the course of the relationship -- without blame or resentment -- and simply talk about the work, you can much more effectively create a plan for change." It isn't all on men to step up. Dr. Lark shares that women often struggle with the transition as well. "For women, sometimes the hardest part of letting go of some of this work is the worry that their partner won't do the task as well as they are. And that is likely true. Radical delegation is difficult, but it's the only way to achieve true parity in the home."
