Woman's Sister Makes an Insensitive Joke About Her Miscarriage. Now She Wonders if She Overreacted

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a day ago

Taking to Reddit, a woman sought advice on if she was overreacting to an insensitive joke that her sister made
She said that even her mom was saying that she was letting the joke "ruin the whole day"
Fellow Redditors came out in force to disagree and even provided advice on what they would have said in the momentA woman wants to know if she was in the wrong for her response to an insensitive joke that her sister made about her miscarriage.
Taking to Reddit's "Am I Overreacting" forum, a 27-year-old woman explained that she and her husband suffered a miscarriage at nine weeks recently.
"It was our first pregnancy, and we were devastated. We've been slowly healing," she wrote.
However, the miscarriage was turned into a joke by her 30-year-old sister while they were attending a family BBQ. The sister, who has three kids of her own, said, 'At least you didn't get too attached—you didn't even have time to paint a nursery!'
The joke was met with silence from everyone else at the table, but the woman said that her sister "laughed like it was nothing."
"I got up and went inside. Later, when it was time for family pictures, I refused to come out. I told my mom I didn't want to be in them, and she said, 'Don't let one comment ruin the whole day,' " she continued. "But it did ruin the day. I felt small and stupid and humiliated."
In the aftermath of her response, the woman's sister is accusing her of "making it awkward for everyone." She also texted that she's being punished "for a joke."
"My mom says I should just let it go and come to the next gathering like normal," she said. "Was I overreacting by refusing to smile for photos with someone who said something like that?"
Overwhelmingly, the response was that the woman did not overreact at all. In fact, many people implied that her reaction was more gentle than theirs would have been.
"Your sister's comment was outrageous, insensitive, and in my opinion repulsive," one Redditor wrote.
Others agreed, with one writing, "Couldn't agree more. That comment wasn't a joke, it was cruel. You don't get to shame someone for grieving and then play the victim."
"I wouldn't have even hung around if I were in your shoes," someone admitted. "No one said anything to her? Your mom expected you to just be okay with all this? If it were my mom, she'd have dressed your sister down so hard, your sister would have wished that she'd just hit her."
Even the poster's mother was called out for her reaction to the joke, with one person calling her "quite dismissive and thoughtless."
"Did you slap your sister across the face? Flip the table? No? Then you are definitely not overreacting," one person assured her. "Why mom's will expect the nice kid to put up with bullying by a sibling never made sense to me. They need to stop enabling your sister and stand up to her too."
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Yet another fierce Redditor revealed how they would have responded in the moment.
"Hit her back with 'YOU, not me. YOU made it awkward for everyone by making a sick joke about my DEAD baby. You are a disgusting human being and until you sincerely apologize you have no sister.' Then block for at least a month," they recommended.
They also had a response for the mom: "If mom continues to push ask her 'Why are you condoning her cruelty and sick joke about my dead baby? Is that who you want to be? I am not having anything to do with her for the next several months at least and never again if she does not apologize sincerely. If you continue to invite her to the family gatherings during that time, then you have chosen the side of the daughter who is cruel and makes jokes about your dead grandchild. And I will not come to any gatherings she is invited to. And you will permanently damage our relationship by condoning her behavior.' "
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