17 Hard Things To Explain To Women
"Why I don't know what the fuck my best friend is up to in life even after hanging out with him all day."
—Apollo1255"I chatted with my friend for an hour on the phone. We talk about video games, sports, etc. He's been my friend from high school, and we were best men in each other's weddings.So, after the call, my wife says, 'What's going on with his family?''I don't know.''You didn't talk about his family?''Look. I'm sure they're fine. If they weren't, he would have told me.'"—PRMan
"I was at home when my wife and her friends got home one day from the pub, and they were all giving me funny looks and smirking. I asked what was going on, and they at first refused to tell me. After a little while of prodding, one of them goes, 'I HEARD ALL ABOUT YOUR DICK!' and they all broke into laughter. I was a little taken by surprise but laughed and said something like, 'Oh, yeah? Hopefully all good!' and they laughed, and that was the end of it."
"I don't always want to be the one who initiates sex. It makes me feel like a creep."
—NKoreaisbestKorea"Not even that... but maybe I want to feel wanted and sexy for once."—MightyEskimoDylan
"That just because I'm quiet in your presence doesn't mean I'm upset. Just means I'm either tired, don't have anything to say, or I'm thinking about something."
"A lot of us aren't great at picking up hints."
—thekarensarecoming"Hints are dumb anyway. Some women really be out here playing 4D fucking chess when dropping hints. Like bro, I'm just trying to date you, not figure out your fucking puzzle of a 'hint.'"—exboi
"When we say we don't care, we really don't care. Yes, we can have an opinion on something, but when we say we don't care, that means our opinion isn't strong enough to sway us either way on something."
"That just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I don't care. I've had women talk to me about guys losing their hair: 'He's a guy, so he doesn't care!' I know a lot of guys who hate being bald or the fact that they are balding, and their hair is thinning, and their hairline is receding! This idea that we don't care or don't care about our looks because we are a guy is ridiculous."
—Racing_in_the_street"I really hate how much hair I've lost. I mean, DAILY. Multiple times a day."—Cloaked42m
"Sometimes an erection just happens. We don't control the thing, it's a physical response that could literally be from nothing."
"Most of us don't get complimented, so if you do give us one, we'll remember it forever."
—Soggy-Tampon"One time, after getting a haircut and wearing a rather nice new outfit, I was shopping at Target. The five-foot-tall middle-aged Hispanic checker smiled and said, 'You look like a mooooooodel!' I blushed and stuttered out a 'Thank you.'This was like five years ago. For reference, I do not, nor have I ever, looked like a model."—stupidrobots
"Pee at an angle."
"Sometimes we could use a hug."
—XmossflowerX
"Why we bottle our emotions up."
"That sometimes, we need personal space, and it has nothing to do with our opinion of you."
—Litigious_Energy_
"We're still humans, so that means we have feelings, too. So please take care when choosing your words when you're arguing with us."
"From a gay dude's perspective, probably explaining that my sexuality doesn't mean I'm an expert on women's beauty stuff. I'll go shopping with you and give you my opinion on outfits, but I'm not some Paris fashion wizard because I get naked with other men. Speaking of which, I can do drag makeup. No, Cindy. That does not mean I'll do your makeup. Why? It's Drag makeup; you will look like a clown fucked a real housewife. Is that what you want, Cindy?"
—JordanStPatrick
"If I don't jerk off, I can't think straight. I'll end up doing something stupid like invading Poland, starting a megachurch, or buying a timeshare."
And finally, "Too clean for the hamper, too dirty for the drawer, that's why I put my cargo shorts on the floor."
—enbenlen
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