Ryan Libbey gets emotional as he reveals he felt resentment towards his fiancée Louise Thompson after the birth of their son Leo
Louise, 35, nearly died when she welcomed Leo-Hunter in 2021 after a emergency caesarean in which she lost '12 and a half litres of blood.'
She went on to suffer with PTSD and post-natal anxiety due to her near-death experience and has since then been diagnosed with Lupus, Asherman's syndrome, suffered a second Hemorrhage, and has also had a stoma bag fitted.
Speaking on the latest episode of Giovanna Fletcher 's Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast on Tuesday, Ryan, 34, discussed the aftermath and how it affected him.
Giovanna began: 'You had Louise not being the mum that you thought she would be because of everything she was going through.'
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Ryan explained: 'It was 10 or 11 months into it and I had my family say that I wasn't ok. I had sunken into a state of depression without even knowing it.
'My days were incredibly long and I'd sunken into a state of survival. When Louise what at home there was a lot of activity going on with her health.
'We had a crisis management team come regularly which to put it bluntly was a suicide watch because she was so mentally checked out.
'I couldn't really understand it. She had lost the fight. I couldn't understand that we were in a place of her wanting to end her life and that she didn't care for the baby in the room.
'I felt very helpless, that I couldn't fix the situation. I needed to remove myself because I was full of resentment towards the whole thing.
'That's when I jumped in a taxi and just went to the airport and picked a flight. I ended up in Budapest and I didn't do what I needed it to so I hopped on a flight to Barcelona and just put my feet in the sand.
'That was when I decided to reach out and go to therapy for the first time. I never had any medical people step in and say that I might need something.
'It didn't feel right and I couldn't shake off the feeling that I had perhaps been a bit of a coward by doing that.'
It comes after Ryan admitted he struggles with being a 'modern-age dad' who earns less than his fiancee, Louise.
The Made in Chelsea alum also revealed his fears over one day becoming a stay-at-home-father as work dries up.
The former TV star, who also works as a personal trainer, expressed his concerns on the latest episode of the couple's podcast, He Said, She Said.
'I'm down in the weeds and not feeling particularly grateful for who I am or what I'm doing,' he explained. 'There are days when it's like, I'm really not getting this right. It's not moving and it's not progressing how I would want it to.
'It's been a very quiet start to 2025 on the work front for Ryan - and it's panicked me.'
Ryan, who lives in London with Louise and their son, Leo, claimed part of the problem is not knowing what career choices to make.
He currently describes himself as a digital marketer and podcaster who 'works with brands'.
Speaking to Louise he added: 'I don't wrestle with the fact that you're the breadwinner - I think it's wonderful and I'll support you - but if I can be as relaxed about that situation... me being a slightly modern-age dad... I think that's the bracket I'm falling into.
'There have been days over the past few weeks where I'm like, I might just fold! I might just be the stay-at-home dad and I might just do the cooking and the food shopping and the guy who pretends he can do DIY and hammers things all day.
'Because Louise is actually earning more than I ever will, and she's pretty bloody good at the whole business side of things, so why don't I let her do that and I'll do the other stuff.
'But then I think, I've got lots to offer as well. I just need to figure out how to press go.'
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