Indecisive? 3 Science-Backed Steps To Make Good Choices FAST

Forbes

17-05-2025

Why are so many of us indecisive and what are the three steps for making good choices FAST? Learn ... More the answers to these questions and more.
On average the adult human mind makes 33,000 to 35,000 total decisions each day, according to various sources. Many of these decisions are when the mind is on autopilot based on information it has stored about what works and what doesn't. But there's a point at which your mind on autopilot no longer works because the fried brain—unable to make more than 35,000 individual decisions—short circuits, decision-making goes offline and you are indecisive.
When you make decisions after working days on end, your fatigued brain makes choices different from the ones you'd make after your brain has a rest period. Why? Scientists have discovered a phenomenon known as decision fatigue—which is what happens when your brain is worn out and depleted of mental energy.
Decision fatigue impairs mental clarity and is why many wage earners have little mental energy left over for activities outside of work. After hours of nonstop working, your brain can suffer from cognitive overload, compassion fatigue and burnout. The longer you work and the more choices you make in those extended work hours, the more difficult it is for your strained mind to make sound decisions.
And the harder it is to make choices like what to wear, where to eat, how much to spend or how to prioritize work projects. Mind fatigue can lead to shortcuts such as not thoroughly proofing an important email or opting out of decision-making with your team. And it can cause you to be short with colleagues, eat junk food instead of healthy meals and forego exercise. And in some cases even life-or-death issues such as permitting your newly-licensed teenager to drive the car on an icy road at night.
Some of us have to make so many decisions in the workday that after a while we suffer from decision fatigue, but some experts assert that indecisiveness can be traced to childhood. "Being indecisive when it comes to major life and career choices can lead to avoidance, and that's when you get into trouble," says clinical psychologist Dr. Helen McKibben, author of Drop: Making Great Decisions.
According to McKibben, the stage is set for our decisive--or indecisive--nature in the first five years of brain development. "When a child expresses a feeling, reads a situation a certain way or shares an idea of something they would like to do, how their parent or caretaker responds to them over time creates a neuron track in the brain that follows them into adulthood. When a child's feelings and ideas are supported and reinforced, the neuron track leads to trusting their instincts, feelings and choices throughout life.
McKibben cautions that if they're dismissed, minimized or controlled, the child walks away second-guessing themselves. 'That neuron track creates a habit of looking to others for validation and doing what they say instead of trusting themselves,' she explains. "An example of some things not to say in response to a child would be "'Oh, you don't feel that way,' or 'If you do it my way, it will be better.''
If someone else was making choices for you, like 'helicoptor parents' do, always saying you're wrong or helps you do everything as a child, she points out that you may be in the habit of reading others for their reactions or thoughts. 'That neuron track leads you straight to indecisiveness. The good news is that you can rewire that track to erase self-doubt and trust your instincts.'
That's where the "Drop" technique comes in to create a new neuron configuration on the old neuron track, McKibben says, adding that the key is to listen to the brain the way it was designed to work, which uses memory recall when making decisions. When faced with a situation or person, the brain's job is to configure how you feel in the moment and automatically retrieves memories of every time you felt that way. This memory recall then prompts you with words and ideas to help you make a choice in your best interest.
'You become decisive once you trust what your brain puts together for you,' McKibben insists. 'If people don't listen to those instincts, they are up in their heads trying to decide themselves. That's when they are reading other people for guidance. They are indecisive and don't present confidently.'
She asks if you've ever walked away from a situation thinking, 'Why didn't I listen to myself? I KNEW this was going to happen?' When presented with a choice, she says your brain automatically compiled words and ideas for you to use in making that choice, but you didn't trust yourself enough.
I was curious about how long it takes to become more confident in our decisions. McKibben explained by email that using the "Drop" technique over time will help us replace the old neuron track of self-doubt with the new neuron track of confidence.
'It takes just weeks of practice to reinforce the new configuration on an old neuron track,' she assures us. 'It's like a golfer who gets a new coach that changes their swing. They don't just forget the old swing, they practice and practice until the new swing becomes natural and the old swing is gone.'
McKibben shares her proven three-step method to make better decisions by engaging your brain the way it's naturally designed to work: Stop, Drop and Listen.
McKibben suggests that the antidote to being indecisive is not to second-guess what you hear. This takes practice, especially if you grew up in an environment where someone was making choices for you, always said you were wrong or helped you do everything. Your brain adapts to your words or ideas which will replace the tendency to look to others for guidance and second guessing yourself," McKibben concludes.