Soon-to-Be Grandma Crosses a Line Posting Daughter's Ultrasound Photos Without Permission

Yahoo

4 hours ago

The era of social media isn't new, and yet there are still so many pitfalls to navigate when it comes to proper etiquette for its use. For parents especially, there are so many advantages to these platforms, whether you're searching for advice or community—but there is a learning curve when it comes to using social media, and it's easier to insult or hurt a loved one than you might think.
Take this soon-to-be mom who wrote a rant on Reddit after her mother posted a photo of her ultrasound on her Facebook page—without asking permission first.
The trouble started when the expecting mother and her husband decided to have a private 5d ultrasound taken of their baby at around 22 weeks. The parents discussed their comfort level sharing the images, and mutually decided to only show their own parents and siblings.
OP showed her own mom the images on FaceTime, who then took screenshots from their conversation. Later when she was scrolling Facebook, she saw that her mother had posted the photos publicly to her page, without asking first.
'I understand she was excited, but I am so frustrated…It just shows that she had no respect for us at all as the parents,' she wrote.
Now, at 6 months pregnant, the interaction has left her 'stressing about all of the boundaries I am going to have to set.'
There are a few things to unpack about this situation. First of all, people from older generations might have a less firm grasp on the nuances of social media use, so it might be a wise idea to afford them grace after the first or or even second violation. The mom in question might not have understood that she was posting the picture for anyone that follows her to see, for instance.
That's why it's so important to be absolutely crystal clear about your expectations, explicitly telling them what and who you allow your child to be exposed to—leaving no room for argument or negotiation.
On top of that, no matter how close you are with your own parents, all new parents learn at one point or another—whether it's when you're still pregnant, or when grandma and grandpa start babysitting—that you'll need to erect strong boundaries for your family and stay firm on them in order to communicate open and honestly, prevent misunderstanding, and protect your child according to your values.
It happens eventually, and yes, it can be stressful and even lead to conflict, but it's a necessary part of becoming a parent. This mom is just learning it sooner than most.
That doesn't give her mother a free pass for what she did. If her daughter didn't make it perfectly clear that they weren't sharing the photo, the least she could have done is ask first, instead of assuming it was fine.
Although some family members might feel as though this baby belongs to the whole family, it actually is the parents' baby alone. You don't have to agree with every choice the parents make—you can even think some of their choices might be stifling your joy and excitement over the new addition to the family—but your feelings, as valid as they might be, don't negate the way the baby's parents wish to raise their child.
It's a tough pill to swallow, for grandparents especially, who have years of experience and insight that it might be heartbreaking to find your kids don't want to use. But for the sake of the relationship, listen when the parents tell you what they need—and make every effort to respect boundaries.
Read the original article on Parents