Burnham consistently ranks among Britain's worst seaside towns. I visited to judge for myself

Telegraph

5 days ago

The woman on the beach was doing the walk of shame. She'd wandered too far into the low-tide gloop and was ignominiously summoned back. 'Attention please,' the tannoy boomed. 'It's not safe to approach the water. Observe the red flags.'
It was polite, but no-nonsense. The Somerset seaside town of Burnham-on-Sea faces the Bristol Channel, and must deal with its enormous tides and the swathes of sticky foreshore they leave behind. People die here.
That's why there are beach wardens, lifeguards, an RNLI lifeboat and the charity BARB Search & Rescue, which runs two mire-skimming hovercraft (its station was built by Challenge Anneka in 1994).
Yet, despite its treacherousness, Burnham has long attracted beach-goers, especially after the railway arrived in 1853, and was extended out onto the jetty five years later, to meet the paddle-steamers to Wales.
Spa baths were built, along with fancy hotels, which joined the three lighthouses and 14th-century St Andrew's Church, with its tower that leans like Pisa.
Times change. The lighthouses still exist, in various forms, but the railway now terminates at Highbridge, two miles inland, the baths are long gone and the grand dame Reed's Arms is now a Wetherspoons – though I was told the gents' loos have great views.
What's it really like?
Well, Which? isn't a fan. The consumer organisation – based on reader ratings – consistently ranks Burnham among Britain's worst seaside towns in its annual poll.
'It has such a negative effect,' despaired Mike Facey, incumbent Burnham & Highbridge Mayor. 'You don't need it.'
True, Burnham doesn't have fancy restaurants or tonnes of attractions (though special mention must go to the little Ritz Cinema, with its £4 tickets).
The town's stunted pier – at 37m long, really more a stilted pavilion – is the shortest in the country. But Burnham is what it is, and doesn't try to be anything other, Mike insisted: 'It's not Marbella, it's just a nice, pretty West Country town.'
'I've done my own survey and 90 per cent of people said they love Burnham, they just want it tidied up a bit,' added Ian Jeffries, manager of the Burnham Information & Rescue Support Centre (BiARS).
The council closed the tourist office in 2011 but within three weeks the community had reopened it: 'They're all volunteers except me,' Ian explained. 'You can't have a seaside resort without tourist information.'
I ask for information myself, and learn that one of the best things about Burnham is being able to get out of it – whether that's short excursions up the long beach to Brean Sands or inland to Rich's Cider Farm, or further afield: Cheddar Gorge, Glastonbury, Wells and Bristol are less than an hour away.
'I sell this as a hub to visit Somerset,' Ian said, before concluding: 'But it's Burnham's friendliness – that's what people really come for.'
What's not to like?
Depending how you feel about nuclear power stations, the near-distant spectre of Hinkley Point might prove off-putting or intriguing. You can see the three stations – decommissioned A and B, C under construction – to the south.
'It's the largest building site in Europe,' explained tourist office volunteer Gail Cruickshank as we stood on the promenade, looking across the water. 'At night, lit up, it looks quite good – someone once asked me if it was the Queen Mary.'
Ian had a different view: 'My argument is, if you're spending billions on it, how much more would it cost to make it look like a castle?'
In recompense, EDF has put money into Burnham: its HPC Community Fund, available to those affected by the development, has given £15,000 to the tourist centre, £45,000 to the tennis club (for energy-efficient floodlights), £5,000 to the Nornen Project, a group that creates theatre based on local history, including that of the SS Nornen shipwreck, further up the beach at Berrow (visible at low tide).
Do this…
Have a wander. The long, flat prom suits all comers, while the King Charles III England Coast Path follows the unbroken beach up to Brean (about six miles). I picked up a Burnham on Sea Heritage Trail leaflet and followed its suggested loop, up the seafront and back down the High Street, with a detour to the leggy Low Lighthouse.
The trail passes 31 sites, some long-gone, some surviving. These include the 19th-century Market Hall, now the Princess Theatre; at one time it housed the Fire Bridge too and, if there was a call out, blaring sirens would disrupt the performance.
Eat this…
Cake. Away from the main drag, DusiCake channels 'Gothic boudoir' style – all deep purples, tasselled lamps, velvet chairs – and sells the creations of award-winning cake designer Dusica Roberts.
In the corner there's a puppet girl, made entirely of edibles, down to her rice-paper skirt, but the cafe menu is more cupcakes and brownies.
For something more conventional, try Esplanade Fish Bar, where fourth-generation fryers serve traditional fish and chips: the batter was light, crisp and non-greasy, the cod delicate, the chips proper, the view good, plus the parasols seemed to fend off the gulls.
But don't do this…
Swim. People do – it's not banned. But the Environment Agency has issued permanent advice against bathing here. Burnham lies at the mouths of the Brue and the Parrett, two fat rivers wont to carry questionable substances into the sea.
The huge, fast-moving tides create strong undercurrents and expose sucky mud, sticky and difficult to walk through – there are warnings about approaching the water at low tide all the way from Burnham to Brean.
Note, dogs are always banned on Burnham's main beach, and only allowed October-April on its North and South beaches. However they're permitted year-round from the Lighthouse up to Brean, as are horses, if you happen to have one.
From a local
Jackie Morris said: 'I've been here over 50 years. It's changed – there are lots of new houses – but it's also the same in many ways. There's always something going on, and there's still a strong community spirit.
'I can walk down the high street and I know nearly everyone. People have got the time to talk.'
From a tourist
Alison Coleman from Worcestershire said: 'We've popped down to a friend's caravan – we probably wouldn't have come otherwise. I thought it might be chavvier… But it's lovely.'
Sylvia and Roger Hulett from Telford said: 'We've got a static caravan in Brean and we come down regularly. We had a campervan before, we've driven all over – John O'Groats to Land's End, the lot – but when we decided to settle, this is where we wanted [the caravan] to be. We like a nice flat promenade, and there's plenty of places you can go.'
Getting there
The nearest train station is in Highbridge & Burnham, which is two miles from the centre of Burnham; trains from Bristol take around 45 minutes. Buses run north to Brean and Weston-super-Mare, south to Taunton and Bridgwater. By car, Burnham is about two miles off Junction 2 of the M5.
Where to stay
Round Tower Holiday Apartments (01628 243200) are right on the seafront; some are fashioned from the former old lighthouse buildings. Apartments (sleeping 4 to 8) cost from £89 per night.