Who wants to be treated like a princess?
Imagine walking in on your neighbor repeatedly spraying their spouse in the face with a water hose. In real life, this would warrant some concern. On TikTok, though, it's a part of the latest relationship test. Women online are listing a series of errands and romantic gestures and having their male partners guess which category of behavior they fall into: 'princess treatment' or the bare minimum. If they get it wrong, they're immediately hosed in the face.
The trend, by and large, is all in good fun. Some couples seem to be in agreement on what are reasonable expectations in a relationship — and what demands are diva-level. According to some women, however, any favor a man can provide — no matter how arbitrary or unnecessary — should be considered the 'bare minimum.' In one TikTok, influencer Emma Moriarty expects her husband to give her the first bite of his food at a restaurant, pay for her parking tickets, and fill up her gas tank. 'It's from the same bank account!' her partner rebuts to the last scenario after getting splashed.
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These royal-inspired standards have been a hot topic over the past month thanks to influencer Courtney Palmer (@courtney_joelle). The self-proclaimed 'housewife princess' shared a video explaining the 'princess treatment' she receives from her husband when they go to restaurants. 'If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I don't speak to the hostess,' she says matter-of-factly. 'I do not open any doors, and I do not order my own food.' The video sparked immediate concern from users ('me when I'm a prisoner,' replied a commenter) and several parodies. Still, 'princess treatment' has proven to be somewhat of an irresistible concept online, as evidenced by the viral water hose game. The clips seem to be partly in jest, while still suggesting 'princess treatment' should be the norm.
After all, Palmer isn't the only person promoting 'princess treatment' across the app. From strict rules around confirming dates to traditional dating gurus, women are being encouraged to take an increasingly high-maintenance approach to dating and relationships.
But are high-maintenance demands as rewarding as they seem at first glance? And are they just making women passive in relationships?
It's not an uncommon observation that TikTok isn't the best place to learn about dating and relationships — despite the fact that a sizable portion of Gen Z and millennials are receiving counsel from the app. It's not that users can't find solid guidance from credentialed relationship experts. It's just that the people and opinions that most routinely go viral are controversial or completely absurd. And much of this content — even when it's cloaked in the language of empowerment — has an overarching conservative or regressive bent.
For women, in particular, online dating advice can be pretty bleak. On one end of the spectrum, you have content that fits squarely into the overtly religious, 'trad wife'mode of thinking. Christian influencers like Sprinkle of Jesus founder Dana Chanel and podcasts like Dear Future Wifey extol the values of submitting to your husband or weathering their mistreatment.
A more subtly insidious version of this content frames traditional gender norms as radical, affirming, and indicative of a woman's worth, a la 'princess treatment.' SheraSeven (aka Leticia Padua, aka 'sprinkle sprinkle' lady) has become one of TikTok's foremost dating gurus for unabashedly promoting a 'gold digger' mentality. She maintains throughout her videos that a man's only purpose in a relationship is to provide, and that it's a woman's role is to receive. A similar self-styled expert, Russell Hartley, has become popular for his punchy digs at broke or stingy men who don't want to provide financially for their women.
It's not hard to see why Padua and Hartley's content might sound amusing and maybe even refreshing. They prioritize women's comfort in relationships, while reducing men to charitable givers — something many women have probably experienced the exact opposite of. Meanwhile, an alarming amount of young men online are being told that the ideal woman is subservient.
'The whole manosphere is about what it means to be a 'high-value man' who gets a 'high-value woman,'' says Rachel Vanderbilt, relationship scientist and host of The Relationship Doctor Podcast. 'They have these expectations that women are going to have a low body count' — that is, a limited number of previous sexual partners — 'and are going to behave like mothers and be nurturing.'
In the current hellscape that is heterosexuality, an excessively doting partner who's willing to take care of everything might sound appealing to some women. Solomon suggests these expectations might be an extreme response to bad treatment that they've witnessed, if not experienced, from men throughout their lives.
'I think a lot of cis-hetero women are looking at patterns in their families where they've either seen women be actively mistreated by male partners or where women have been rendered invisible by domestic and caregiving responsibilities,' she says. 'When we can identify something we don't want, our next move tends to be, so what instead? And our go-to is a 180.'
These desires by certain women suggest a tension between the traditional values that are constantly being romanticized and the fact that women don't have to be as reliant on men as they once were. In 2023, a study by the Pew Research Center reported a growing number of married women, 29 percent, earning the same amount of money as their husbands, while 16 percent were the breadwinners of their households.
Still, much dating advice suggests that women belong in a passive, dependent role. It's the same paradox behind 'princess treatment.' The power is all in theory, not in practice.
Author and clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon suggests that the 'princess treatment' trend is an 'attempt to hold onto something that feels gender-traditional in the face of an economic reality that just is anything but.'
'What 'princess treatment' is saying is, 'no matter how much money he earns, what he's providing is a tremendous amount of comfort for me,'' she says. 'There's no economic cost to him pulling out my chair, but these are all the ways in which I feel cherished and chosen and protected and provided for.'
On TikTok, being treated like a princess involves a never-ending list of rules and expectations that are high-maintenance, if not totally random. Last month, the newsletter Cartoon Hate Her observed what they dubbed the 'Princess Signaling Game,' an informal trend where women announce their strict but often virtueless standards for potential suitors on social media. This included a suggestion by a TikTok user that if a man doesn't confirm a date by 2 pm, he's immediately disposable.
Having standards is necessary. But having these kinds of inflexible rules contributes to an extremely self-focused vision of dating that already thrives on TikTok. From 'ick' lists to red flags to beige flags, the process of finding a partner looks less like connecting with a person and more like a process of elimination based solely around our petty dislikes. These trends lack any interrogation of whether our wants are even valid or meaningful in a relationship. Like the 2 pm rule, they seem to promote antisocial behavior.
'Dating is a process of mutual curiosity and a desire to get to know each other, not a series of tests that someone needs to pass in order to move forward,' says Vanderbilt. ''Princess treatment' and all of these related videos are usually designed in secret with an expectation that most people are going to fail.'
Overall, these sorts of assessments aren't exactly helpful in discerning a partner who's kind or caring, just someone who can check random boxes and jump through hoops. All of it speaks to a culture where men and women increasingly fail to relate to one another.
'Men are being told how to treat women and all of these ways to play hard to get,' says Vanderbilt. 'Then women are like, 'Men need to do all of these things and prove their value to me.' And so we're both speaking past each other instead of coming to dating as a human experience.'
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CNN
an hour ago
- CNN
Why Americans can't chill out about ice-free European beverages
It's a sticky, boiling hot day in Paris, London, Rome, Athens or any other heatwave-stricken European destination. You flop down in a cafe after a morning spent on your feet. You order a refreshing cold drink. The beverage arrives and it's lukewarm. No ice cubes to be seen. You flag down the server and ask for the same again, this time with ice. It arrives with a solitary, sad-looking ice cube that melts before the first sip. 'So, I started saying, 'Oh, can I get extra ice?' And then they give just two ice cubes…' recalls New Yorker Isabel Tan, who has first-hand experience of Europe's froideur when it comes to adding frozen H20 to liquid refreshment. 'Eventually, I was like, 'Okay, let me just see what they'll do if I just ask for a bucket of ice…' So I asked that, half as a joke. But they brought out a small bucket of ice. I was in Italy, and it was really, really hot… So it kind of worked out.' Just as there are — at least broadly speaking — cultural differences in how some US folks and Europeans handle the tap water versus mineral water question, there's also a divide when it comes to the iciness of beverages. After Tan successfully ordered the ice bucket in Italy she jokingly posted about her experience on TikTok. Her video is part of a slew of memes, TikToks and Instagram Reels that have popped up in recent summers as Americans decamp to Europe and come face to face with resolutely room-temperature drinks. That social media trend is capturing, as historian Jonathan Rees puts it, a genuine, 'historically determined' cultural difference. 'The entire world does not have as much interest in ice as the United States does,' says Rees, the author of 'Refrigeration Nation: A History of Ice, Appliances, and Enterprise in America.' 'We are very much accustomed to having ice in just about everything. It's very much an American thing.' Another author, Amy Brady, whose book 'Ice: From Mixed Drinks to Skating Rinks – A Cool History of a Hot Commodity' contemplates the environmental consequences of populating so many aspects of life with frozen chunks of water, agrees. 'Americans are unique on the world stage in terms of our absolute obsession with ice,' she says. 'Americans are unique on the world stage in terms of our absolute obsession with ice.' Amy Brady, author of "Ice: From Mixed Drinks to Skating Rinks – A Cool History of a Hot Commodity' That rings true for Tan, who is originally from Singapore and grew up around different attitudes toward refrigeration. 'It's a cultural thing in the Asian culture to believe that drinking warm drinks is actually better for you,' she says. Years in New York converted Tan to the icy way of life. 'Even in my Stanley Cup right now, there are ice cubes,' she says, gesturing to the giant water bottle in her hand. 'I definitely prefer ice drinks. Even in the winter, I will drink an iced coffee… ice drinks year round.' UK-based Claire Dinhut has a different perspective: 'I personally really don't like ice, nor do I even like the taste of water,' she tells CNN Travel. Dinhut is half American, half French, but despite spending time in Los Angeles as a kid, she never got on board with the American love of ice. She's lived in Athens, Prague and now the UK, and is grateful that living in Europe means she avoids mounds of ice in drinks. Her preference? 'A good sorbet.' 'I find that ice dilutes the overall flavor of the beverage, falls on your face and spills your drink when you try to drink it, and is a good way for people to hide the actual amount of drink in a cup,' says Dinhut. The European verus US ice divide might have gained attention online in recent years, but it's not a new thing. Brady points to historic examples of 'people from around the world coming to America and being shocked.' 'I uncovered essays and letters from Charles Dickens, the famous 19th century English author, who came to America and was shocked and frankly disgusted by what he called the mounds of ice overflowing from American drinks,' recalls Brady. 'We were a spectacle to others because of our obsession with ice.' Rees says the American problem of sourcing ice on their travels goes back more than 100 years. 'People in the late 19th century, once they were hooked on ice, would ask Europeans for ice and be baffled when they couldn't get it.' So, just how did Americans become so ice-obsessed? Rees says the American love of ice can be traced back to Frederick Tudor, a businessman and entrepreneur in 19th century Boston who made such a fortune selling frozen water that he became known as the 'Ice King.' 'He, with a lot of help, came up with a way to cut ice off ponds and streams, packed it into ships and sent it all over the planet,' says Rees. 'He sent ice to India. He sent ice to the Caribbean. He sent ice to the American South. That is the beginning of the ice industry.' And even with all these ice exports, there was leftover ice lying around. 'Nobody knew what to do with it,' says Rees. 'So, Tudor began to give ice away to American taverns… They would put it in their drinks, and then people would sort of get hooked on having their drinks cold, and then they would come back and buy it from him later. And it worked fabulously well. He created a market. He became very rich.' Tudor was by no means 'the first person in the world to put ice in a cocktail,' Brady says – no one really knows who was – but people living in hot climates have always looked for ways to cool down. 'His innovation was to bring ice to people living in climates where ice didn't form naturally.' As the 19th century rolled into the 20th, ice was cemented as a status symbol in the US. 'Marketing campaigns talked about ice like they would talk about an automobile or a TV set,' says Brady. 'To own an icebox would be the way to signal to your neighbors that you have arrived, you know, as a middle-class American, who has kind of, quote, unquote, made it financially.' In Europe, ice never gained the same popularity — not in the 19th century and not today. Whereas Americans look upon ice with glee, generally speaking Europeans view ice as unnecessary, and even a little gross. 'I'll order iced drinks during the summer out of necessity,' says Dinhut. 'But I will chug the drink as to not actually let it get watered down and change the flavor.' Ice expert Rees explains that it's true that, 'when you put ice in your drink, it automatically dilutes it.' He says that when it comes to Americans and ice, 'it's as much about what Americans are used to as it is about taste. It's a little crazy. But Americans have loved ice for so long that we're willing to make that sacrifice. We're willing to pay extra in order to have our drinks diluted in particular ways.' As a quintessential US lover of ice, Rees waxes lyrical about 'the little crackling noise when you place it in there, the tinkle when the ice hits the side of the glass.' 'That makes me very happy for some reason,' he says. When Brit Lacey Buffery moved to the US five years ago she noticed the amount of ice 'right away.' At first, she found the icy pint glasses of tap water served in restaurants 'too cold.' But in time, she adapted. 'I've gotten used to and now really like a very cold drink,' she says. Her British partner, meanwhile, has remained steadfast in his anti-ice perspective. He'll specifically request no ice. 'That confuses servers as I don't think they see that regularly,' says Buffery. As she acclimated to life in the California, Buffery was also taken with US refrigerators — which are often twice the size of typical UK fridges — 'Americans have the largest refrigerators in the world,' confirms the ice historian Rees — and often come with an inbuilt ice dispenser. 'I have never had a fridge in the UK with an ice dispenser,' says Buffery. 'We would make squash in a jug as a kid and store it in the fridge for the summer. And we would obviously have an ice tray in the freezer, but you couldn't have much ice as it wasn't easily available.' On social media, Buffery points out free soda refills are commonplace in the US but rare in Europe, suggesting this also plays a part in the ice debate — 'We pay per drink in the UK, and who wants to keep paying for a ton of ice with a little soda?' Still, it intrigues Buffery to reflect on how much her habits have changed over her half decade in the US. She and her husband intend to move back to the UK soon, and when they do, Buffery says she will be hunting down a US-style fridge as soon as possible. Buffery's experiences suggest a lot of the ice-versus-no-ice debate is about what you're used to. While historically, northern European countries were cooler in summer than certain US states, the climate crisis has led to increased summer temperatures in cities like London and Paris. But ice can still be elusive. 'My understanding is to a certain extent it's easier to get ice than it used to be all over Europe, but it is still the exception rather than the rule,' says Rees. In many European destinations, there's no guarantee the establishment where you're dining or drinking will have ice. There isn't, as some TikToks have suggested, an ice shortage in Europe. It's just not the cultural norm. And whereas US hotels typically have ice machines in the corridor, and grocery stores sell giant bags of ice, this isn't generally commonplace outside of North America. 'One of the first things on a list that a host might send a party guest is 'who's bringing the ice?'' says ice historian Brady. 'That's very much an American thing.' Canadian Zoe McCormack — 'not American, but very much the same ice culture,' she says — lives in Paris. She tells CNN Travel she often struggles to track down ice in restaurants in the French city. She says she's less bothered by the iceless drinks in the winter months, but she still hates the lukewarm water, served in tiny 'shot glasses.' 'I don't really drink hot coffee, hot tea and stuff like that. So when they bring lukewarm water, I just find the taste weird,' she says. McCormack also suggests the lack of air conditioning in Europe plays a role — and the generally warmer fridges. When she buys a can of iced tea or soda that's been stored in a European grocery store chiller, 'the drink is not that cold.' When McCormack can, she reaches to the back of the shelf, searching, often in vain, for the coldest can she can find. 'The grocery store is not air conditioned, it's crazy, and you're reaching into the back to try and grab the drinks in the back, because those have probably been there the longest and are the coldest, and sometimes even those aren't that cold. And I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, I just need something refreshing.' But it's so hard to find.' If you're an American heading to Europe this summer getting anxious about ice — and possibly a lack of air conditioning and tap water too — rest assured that there are other ways of staying cool in the heat: gelato, sorbet and granita, to name a few. A jug of tinto de verano in Seville will be full of ice, while a glass of rose in Provence will be chilled to perfection. Plus, Europe isn't a monoculture. Every destination will be different. 'I gotta admit, I really like ice, but I understand when I'm traveling that I'm not going to be able to get it in every single place, and sometimes I'm not going to be able to get it at all,' says the historian Rees. He adds: 'But that's all right. I leave the United States specifically so that I can try other people's cuisines, which includes their drinks and they may not have ice in them.' Brady echoes this, suggesting viewing an iceless European beverage as simply a cultural difference, rather than a frustration, and taking it as opportunity for 'self-reflection.' 'Try to resist what might be an immediate reaction, which is, 'Oh, this tepid water, this tepid tea is less good or less clean, or less tasty, less delightful,'' she advises. 'That is a very American, specific perspective. And, putting that aside, also just experiencing how other people around the world develop their own culinary tastes and preferences will make life much more interesting… And it'll just keep you from being a jerk.'
Newsweek
an hour ago
- Newsweek
Cat Caught Comforting Senior Dog Scared of Thunder Melts Hearts
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. A black cat's gentle gesture of comfort toward a frightened senior dog during a thunderstorm has tugged at the heartstrings of viewers on TikTok. The short clip shows a dog hesitating at the foot of a staircase, visibly fearful of a thunderstorm rumbling outside. Just moments later, the family's black cat, watching from the sofa, leaps down, approaches the dog, and offers a reassuring "boop" to her nose before leading the way up the stairs. The June 10 post has garnered more than 273,000 views and over 40,000 likes to date, with many viewers commenting that the pets' owner (@ihavenosoulx666) has captured a touching moment of interspecies affection. Viewers were able to see the senior dog, named Minnie, standing at the base of the stairs, visibly reluctant to climb them alone. As thunder sounded in the background, she turned back toward the living room. It is then that the black cat noticed Minnie's distress. "Minnie, our senior dog, is afraid of thunder, she was scared to go upstairs alone, I just caught our black cat reassuring her with boops," an overlaid text on the video read, while the caption added: "Animals have their own language and I just love catching these moments." The pets' owner shared in the caption that senior dog Minnie is a goldendoodle. Since the post gained traction, comments have been pouring in from moved pet owners who recognized similar behavior in their own homes. Several viewers praised the cat for somehow picking up on their canine sibling's nervousness and rushing to her support. "My black cat does the same thing to our senior dog," one viewer said. "I get home and see them cuddling on the couch and giving him head boops to calm him down." "I love that," the pets' owner responded. "They know and it's such a beautiful thing to witness. That is adorable! Ours, he likes to rough play, so when this happens, it's just jxjebxjdxnjebx." "The way she just stares at them and the kitty just knew what their job was," another viewer commented. "We don't deserve cats," another said. "Amazing pets." "Black cats are the best," another agreed. Newsweek reached out to @ihavenosoulx666 for more information via TikTok. A cat and dog snuggle up to each other at home. A cat and dog snuggle up to each other at home. Getty Images Do you have funny and adorable videos or pictures of your pet you want to share? Send them to life@ with some details about your best friend and they could appear in our Pet of the Week lineup.
Black America Web
an hour ago
- Black America Web
#BasketballWives: Chantel Christie Blasts Her Estranged Sis Takari Lee Amid Jackie Christie Beef, Brittany Renner Jumps In–‘Terrible Azz Sister'
A new feud is unfolding within an already messy mother-daughter dynamic on Basketball Wives . After Chantel Christie publicly called out her 'toxic' mother, Jackie Christie, she found herself in a war of words with her estranged sister, Takari Lee. Fortunately for Chantel, she wasn't alone—her BBWLA castmate Brittany Renner jumped in to defend her from the woman she called a 'terrible azz sister.' Source: Frederick M. Brown/ Kayla Oaddams The ongoing family feud between Jackie Christie and her daughters has taken another turn, and now Brittany Renner is jumping into the mix. As previously reported, Jackie is making headlines for her viral physical altercation with her daughter, Chantel. The two were seen putting their hands on one another after Chantel urged Jackie to 'take accountability' for her actions. That led to countless moments of disrespect on Chantel's side and a shove, before Jackie seemingly punched her daughter in the face. Now, according to RealityTV Ent 's Instagram, Jackie's other daughter, Takari Lee, recently posted a TikTok appearing amused by the now-viral physical altercation, and that didn't sit well with Chantel, who fired back in the comments. 'Wait hold on, aren't you the same daughter that pulled a knife on Jackie?' Chantel wrote. 'You got 3 kids she's never met in person, but you wanna be on the internet taunting me? Girl tell me you have Stockholm syndrome without telling me you have Stockholm syndrome. You should leave me alone. Honestly, truly. This is my last warning shot.' Brittany Renner also hopped in the mix to take her friend's side and called out Takari by referencing her past criticisms of Jackie. 'You wrote a whole book detailing the way you were allegedly treated, @takari_lee,' Renner commented. 'BTW, I actually read it. It felt very rushed and overall like a long text message you probably wanted to send her directly. Your cry for help didn't matter then because it never will.' She continued, 'Do you care about the TRUTH or do YOU want to be the one to tell it? She isn't going to love you any differently, get you on the show, or take a sudden interest in you/your life/or your children so you gain what exactly? Terrible azz sister!!!' Takari then clapped back and spilled alleged tea bout her sister. 'Allegedly but your homegirl made many appearance validating everything I said…until she started messing with her dads prospects and got knocked up and needed mommy and daddies money so she switched up…allegedly!!' Jackie Christie has yet to speak on the ongoing family drama, but Chantel had (even) more to say. Hit the flip. Chantel Christie fired back at her sister, Takari Lee, with a no-holds-barred response, accusing her of being bitter, broke, and desperate for attention. Source: Jason LaVeris / Getty She started by calling out what she saw as jealousy. 'ahhh. there it is. The jealousy bug bit you? Now this all makes sense,' wrote Chantel before blasting Takari's financial status: 'Maybe you should've been messing with a prospect.. then you wouldn't be in the situation you in. Section 8, ain't it?' She went on to accuse Takari of being fixated on their mother and trying to insert herself into drama for relevance, and alleged that Takari once lashed out physically at Jackie too. 'Girl when this is all said and done you gonna be sitting right there in that same spot, miserable and mad at the world, waiting for the next opportunity to make a tik tok and chime in on things you claim you're so healed from,' wrote Chantel. 'Taunting me for experiencing some of the same s*** you did makes you no better than her.' She continued, 'You want attention from me that you dont get from her, here it is sis. You wanna comment on everything but the facts at hand— you TOO have reached a level of violence with Jackie because of her mistreatment. That's why you pulled a knife on her in Sacramento. You have THREE kids she's never met, but she wants legal rights to mine? Do you hear yourself?' After accusing her sister of waiting for a moment to attack, she made it clear she was done playing nice: 'We can both be hilarious, or you can stop trying to provoke a reaction out of me and just leave me alone.' She closed with a blunt warning. 'We can both be hilarious, or you can stop trying to provoke a reaction out of me and just leave me alone. You out here on the front lines standing up for someone that's never stood up for you. I need to heal and so do you bookie.' The post #BasketballWives: Chantel Christie Blasts Her Estranged Sis Takari Lee Amid Jackie Christie Beef, Brittany Renner Jumps In–'Terrible Azz Sister' appeared first on Bossip. SEE ALSO #BasketballWives: Chantel Christie Blasts Her Estranged Sis Takari Lee Amid Jackie Christie Beef, Brittany Renner Jumps In–'Terrible Azz Sister' was originally published on
