Is your boss as stupid as this fella?
Though, to be fair and balanced, the following tale might be the result of a slip of the tongue, rather than proof of full-blown eejitery, requiring medical attention.
Debbie McCall once had a boss who had mislaid an important file (though he, of course, blamed one of his minions).
This chap forced everyone in the office to spend the afternoon searching for the vanished document, though he warned that it wouldn't be an easy task.
Or as he put it: 'It's going to be like finding hay in a needle-stack.'
Talking balls, again
Tennis fan Eddy Cavin is listing the clichés associated with Wimbledon.
Here are a few more…
There are always shots of the crowd at Henman Hill. (But does anyone even remember who this guy Hill was?)
Photos of leading players with their husband / wife / partner, or someone else's husband / wife / partner must be captioned: 'Love Match.'
Material witness
We're discussing this week's Royal Garden Party at Holyrood Palace.
Yesterday we mentioned that the ladies in attendance were dressed in Edwardian-style finery.
However, one of our spies at the event informs us that 99 percent of the women were, indeed, dressed in the quaint fashions of yesteryear, though one lady stood out from the pack, for she wore a bright orange jumpsuit…. or perhaps it was a pyjama onesie.
And no hat on head, white trainers on feet.
'Scandalous!' gasps our witness to this desecration of all that is holy. 'She couldn't have looked more out of place if she'd brought a skateboard.'
Write off
IN the days when good penmanship was coveted, a colleague of reader Martha Clarke glanced at something she had written.
'Your writing is impeccable,' said this chap.
Martha couldn't help beaming with pride, until the colleague corrected himself.
'Sorry,' he said, 'I meant to say impenetrable.'
Count on him
A barista in a Glasgow café was overheard, by reader Sam Ross, announcing to a colleague: 'I'm good at maths. I can do 13 plus 1.'
'Though he never actually proved his genius by revealing the answer,' notes our sceptical correspondent.
Gotcha!
Hunting expert Colin Mackie notes: 'Capturing Bigfoot would be no small feat.'
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