Mom Doesn't Want Ex-Husband's Wife Present the Morning of Her Daughter's Wedding - Wonders If She's Being ‘Old-Fashioned'
She wants the morning to be 'intimate' and doesn't understand why the other woman expects to be 'involved'
The mother shared her story on Mumsnet, where it sparked much debateA woman is wondering if she's 'old-fashioned' for not wanting her ex-husband's wife present on the morning of her daughter's wedding.
The woman detailed her story in the 'Am I Being Unreasonable?' forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet. She explained that her daughter is getting married soon, and said it will be a 'low-key affair.'
'I booked the hairdresser for the wedding — made the booking for my daughter and myself as the mother of the bride. There aren't any bridesmaids or sisters, so I figured it would be just the two of us,' she said.
However, the original poster (OP) recently found out that her daughter's stepmother is 'upset' that she wasn't included in the morning wedding plans.
'[My ex-husband and his wife] got together when my daughter was about 15, so it's not like she raised her or they ever lived together,' the woman explained.
The OP said that she ultimately told her daughter's stepmother that it would be 'fine' if she joined — but admitted to her fellow Mumsnet members that she's not happy about it.
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'I was expecting it to be intimate, just me and my daughter,' she said before adding, 'I've already told my mother she can't be there the morning before the wedding. Why does everyone expect to be involved?'
'I thought it was mother, daughter and bridesmaids only. Or is that old-fashioned now?' the OP asked at the end of her post.
Several commenters told the OP that they thought her feelings were totally valid given the circumstances.
'It's okay to want to spend the morning just you and your daughter without the stepmother muscling in,' one person said.
'No, you're not a villain for not including her [...], and I don't think you'd be doing anything wrong to tell your [daughter] that you find it intrusive and upsetting,' said someone else.
However, several other commenters noted that the OP's post is missing a vital piece of information— specifically, how her daughter feels about the situation.
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'There's nothing in here about what your daughter wants? It's her choice, not yours!' one person said.
'You haven't mentioned your daughter's wishes at all. Her wedding, her call,' added someone else.
Another person encouraged the OP to ask her daughter what *she* wants on her special day.
'My daughter's stepmother has a bit of a habit of overstepping,' the person said, adding, 'I would speak with your daughter and find out what she honestly wants for herself.'
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