Cameron Mathison struggled with sobriety after losing his home
The 55-year-old 'General Hospital' actor - who split from his wife Vanessa, the mother of his adult children Lucas and Leila, last July - was left devastated after his house burned down in January and he's now confessed he felt "the pull" of alcohol as he dealt with the aftermath despite being clean for two decades.
Speaking to PEOPLE, he explained: "I have to say, the pull and the thoughts are definitely stronger these last four months - more so than the last 20, 21 years of my life.
""For me, it all comes down to serenity, peace of mind. And so when I feel that craving, that want, that need, that trying to satisfy an inner problem with an outer solution - whether it's a mind-altering substance or whatever - I really try to turn inward and work on my inner qualities of love, compassion, patience, generosity, kindness, and train in meditation, work on that serenity through community, through my own spiritual practice.
"And I haven't been great with it, to be honest, the last four months. But that's what I try to do. And I know that's what I need to do more of."
Cameron previously opened up about his decision to quit alcohol in an Instagram post back in 2021 in which he marked 15 years sober.
He wrote: "15 years ago today, I made the choice to give up alcohol. People always ask me why and the answer is very simple … because I want to be the best dad, husband and person I can be.
"I want to be as mindful as possible in my life, and deal with things with my full awareness. People tend to think that giving up alcohol restricts you from 'living,' but for me it did the opposite … it gave me freedom."
Cameron recently spoke about his devastation after losing his home because it was full of memories from when his kids were growing up.
He told 'Access Hollywood': "Every little single thing that I've ever owned, every piece of evidence of my life and my kids' lives, was lost in that house.
"I am fluctuating. There's lots to learn from this, and lots to be grateful for. And also, thinking about thousands of others going through the same thing.
"But it has been more devastating than I actually thought it would be.
"It's been, oddly, one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. "It's been a hard thing to express to people. They probably have an idea that it's difficult, but it's where I raised my kids, it's where my kids wanted to raise their kids."
Cameron also praised his "phenomenal" co-stars on 'General Hospital' for the love and support they have shown him over the last few months.
He said: "My 'GH' family has been phenomenal. And that made tons of difference. It's unbelievable the love and support and kindness and generosity that has been given to myself and thousands of others going through it."
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