Frustrated woman begs boyfriend to help with chores — his response shocked her

New York Post

5 days ago

She's scrubbing the floors — and getting emotionally mopped.
A fed-up woman took to Reddit to air out her frustrations with her longtime partner, who treats household chores like optional side quests — and allegedly gaslit her when she dared to ask for help.
'We've been having the same discussion for years and we have not found a solution together,' she wrote in her post in the r/AITA subreddit. His excuse? 'I'll do it when I feel like it.'
How romantic.
While she juggles cleaning, cooking and relationship maintenance — he plays the blame game.
'Our thresholds are just different and if you didn't do them so much maybe I'll have a chance to do them,' he shrugged, flipping the mess back on her.
3 The lazy lover allegedly treats chores like side quests — and gaslights the OP when she asks for help, she claimed.
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But when tasks pile up, she's the one stuck dealing with them.
'If he doesn't do the task on time then I have to do it anyways,' she wrote, noting that it's hard to cook dinner when the kitchen still looks like a war zone.
It's not just the mess that's draining her — it's the mental load.
'I feel so drained mentally and I've told him as much,' she confessed. 'He says that I'm being negative about the situation, and that I am being ridiculous and dramatic.'
When she tries to talk things out, she's met with accusations of being 'unfair and unreasonable.' And yet, he still expects her to plan quality time, too.
Instead of support, she gets scolded. And now, she's wondering if this is what modern love is supposed to feel like: 'If it is, I don't want to be in [a relationship] anymore.'
The internet quickly chimed in with support — and a few savage burns.
'This isn't how a healthy relationship should feel,' one user wrote. 'You deserve support, not to be emotionally and physically drained from carrying everything alone.'
3 The woman, as commenters noted, asked for a partner, not a petulant roommate with weaponized incompetence.
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Another commenter put it bluntly: 'He is a grown adult man who should be able to be responsible for s–t, it should not all fall on you. I'm sorry you're dealing with a man baby.'
One suggested a kindergarten-level solution: 'Time to chuck a chore chart on the fridge, he can then earn stars for doing the necessary adult jobs.'
With no resolution in sight — and emotional exhaustion setting in — she turned to the internet for clarity. And what she got was a wake-up call.
As previously reported by The Post, another Redditor faced backlash from her fiancé after suggesting they hire weekday help to manage their home, which they share with two large dogs.
3 Another woman's bid to hire weekday help blew up in her face — after her fiancé flipped over the idea of outsourcing chores in their fur-filled home.
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'When we first moved in, I took on most of the cleaning and cooking… but after months of juggling work, house chores, and cooking — sometimes even having to cook while in the middle of meetings — I burned out. Completely,' she wrote.
While the couple initially agreed on part-time help, her request to make it more regular sparked conflict.
She said her fiancé accused her of being lazy and avoiding responsibility when she suggested hiring daily help — a reaction that left her furious.
Despite explaining that she wanted to feel supported too, he stood firm, saying it wasn't necessary. Commenters defended her in the thread.
Ultimately, many of them noted, in these situations, the woman is not just carrying the load — she's carrying him, too.