Ketamine helped me escape my negative thoughts - then it nearly killed me
The negative thoughts that had swamped her mind since a young age began to dissipate.
Twelve years later and fresh out of rehab she's still battling with the addiction that almost took her life.
She wants to speak out to explain why ketamine has become such a popular drug - especially among young people with mental health problems - and to talk about the damage it can do long term.
Abbie's warning comes as the first NHS clinic in the UK - dedicated to helping children struggling with ketamine use - opens on Merseyside, with patients as young as 12 needing help.
Ketamine is unlike many other street drugs due to the way it interacts with the brain.
Small amounts of the Class B drug can give a sense of euphoria and excitement, while large amounts can lead to a state known as the "K-hole," where users feel detached from reality - an out-of-body-type experience.
The number of under 16s reporting a problem with the drug has nearly doubled over the past two years, overtaking cocaine in popularity with children and young people.
Nearly half those (49%) who started treatment for drug misuse in 2023-24 said they had a mental health problem, with more than a quarter not receiving any treatment for the latter.
Details of help and support with addiction are available in the UK at BBC Action Line
Experts are warning that some young people are taking dangerous amounts of ketamine not only due to it's low price and ease of availability, but also because of the dissociative feelings it brings.
"What we are seeing is a perfect storm," David Gill, the founder of Risk and Reliance, a company which trains front-line workers on emerging drug trends.
"We have more young people struggling with depression, trauma, anxiety, a lack of services - and we have a very cheap street drug that helps them disconnect."
Abbie's first line of ketamine did exactly that. She says it "felt like such a powerful place to be".
"My thoughts no longer had a negative effect on me - life was passing me by, but I didn't have to engage with it."
Abbie's childhood had been hard. Struggling with mental health problems and undiagnosed ADHD, she had left school at 14 and found herself in a whirlwind of drink, drugs and unhealthy relationships.
Although addiction cast a long shadow throughout her 20s, Abbie managed to secure a place at university, staying clean throughout, and obtained a healthcare degree.
She is smart, articulate and wants to do well, but after two abusive and controlling relationships ketamine became the only means she had to block out the trauma.
Yet when she went to her GP to seek help she was prescribed sleeping tablets and told to "come off the ket".
"The withdrawals were so bad I would be shaking and vomiting," she says, "it wasn't that easy to just come off it."
Then a deeper level of addiction took hold.
"I always prided myself in the early stages of addiction of keeping my morals and my values and not lying to people," Abbie says, "but I couldn't stop the drugs and I found myself hiding my use to my friends."
Things escalated. Eventually Abbie was taking ketamine every day - incessantly. The only time she would take a shower, she says, would be when she went out to meet her dealer on the street.
The physical effects of overuse began to kick in - horrific abdominal pains, known as K-cramps, would leave her screaming in agony. She would place boiling hot water bottles on her abdomen - burning her skin. And then she would take even more ketamine to numb the pain.
Often referred to as ket, Special K or just K, ketamine is a powerful horse tranquilliser and anaesthetic. It is a licensed drug and can be prescribed medically
When misused, it can cause serious and sometimes permanent damage to the bladder
It is currently a Class B drug under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971
The penalty for possession is up to five years in prison, an unlimited fine - or both
This cycle of drug abuse is something public health consultant Professor Rachel Isba also sees in her new clinic for under 16s experiencing the physical side effects of ketamine use.
Chronic use of the drug can cause ketamine-induced uropathy, a relatively new condition, which affects the bladder, kidneys and liver. The bladder lining becomes so inflamed it can result in permanent damage and it has to be removed.
Prof Isba says the first signs of ketamine bladder are severe abdominal pains, urinating blood and jelly from the damaged bladder lining.
"Patients referred to the clinic will receive a holistic approach," she says, "care from the specialist urology team to treat the physical effects of the drug, and then they will be supported - and referred if necessary - to community services who can help with the often complex reasons behind their drug use."
Sarah Norman, from St Helens, says she felt like a "silent watcher" as her daughter began to "fade in front" of her eyes.
Last September she discovered that Maisie, 25, was addicted to ketamine, which had caused potentially irreversible damage to her kidneys.
"We are just an average family," Sarah says. "I never thought Maisie would have ended up addicted to any drugs - she doesn't even drink alcohol."
Maisie had kept it quiet - ashamed of the stigma attached to her ketamine use. But what had started as a party drug she'd take at festivals had become a substance she couldn't function without.
In the end her partner moved out with their three-year-old son.
"I had nothing left to live for," Maisie says. "It got to the point I was doing bump after bump [snorting small amounts of it].
"For a short time I would be knocked out of reality - then I would take more."
Eventually, Maisie's mum and sister carried her into hospital - she weighed just five stone (32kg).
"The doctors said her body was failing her," Sarah says. "We thought we might lose her."
As a parent, she says, she felt completely helpless.
"It's hell on earth, there is nothing you can do. You ask yourself what you should have done."
Maisie's kidneys were fitted with nephrostomy tubes, which drain the urine out into two bags - which she now carries around with her.
Yet even this major operation didn't end Maisie's addiction. But finally, after fighting for a place in rehab she has now been clean for five months.
Sarah posts about her daughter's drug journey on Tik Tok where many parents reach out to her for help and advice with their own children.
"This drug is just horrific, so many other young people are struggling with it," Sarah says. "I am so proud of Maisie though, she's going to Narcotics Anonymous meetings every night.
"The pain she must have been through - and still goes through - I'm not sure if I'd have been as resilient and strong as she is."
Abbie was rejected from NHS rehabilitation services twice, and reached a point where she considered taking her own life.
"There was so much chaos around me and the services weren't going to help me, I just wanted to end it all," she says.
But after sending a five-page letter to the panel that decides on eligibility she finally managed to access a detox and rehabilitation service.
"I had three choices," Abbie says, "rehab, section - or in a coffin."
Abbie was treated in the same rehabilitation unit as Maisie. She is now out, clean and proud of herself but says the treatment she received failed to deal with her trauma.
"I can look after myself on a daily basis and I'm doing OK. The real work starts now I'm out of rehab," she says, " and now I am clean, hopefully I can get the mental health support I so desperately needed when I was using."
A spokesperson for the Department of Health and Social Care said that as part of its 10 Year Health Plan to reform the NHS, it was going to be much "bolder in moving from sickness to prevention".
"This government is driving down the use of drugs like ketamine, ensuring more people receive timely treatment and support, and making our streets and communities safer."
Emma is doing something she swore she never would - buying her kids vapes
Stop telling me to lower my cortisol - it's making me stressed!
People say cola and fries are helping their migraines - but there's a twist
'WeightWatchers set me up to fail' - Why diet industry is losing to jabs like Ozempic
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Yahoo
23 minutes ago
- Yahoo
The Tiny Habit That Could Be Fueling Your Anxiety Without You Knowing It
Chances are you don't realize the impact anxiety can have on guys. Studies continuously show that women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with an anxiety disorder–but that doesn't mean you're immune. Researchers can't explain the causes of this disparity, but believe guys may feel pressured to exhibit anxious feelings in ways that seem more masculine. 'I think the biggest thing is men are socialized not to show anxiety,' said Carmen McLean, PhD, a researcher and clinical associate professor at Stanford University's Department of Psychiatry. 'Socializing to show agency and self-efficiency dissuades from showing anxiety.' This is one reason anxiety is often accompanied by substance abuse and other 'internalizing disorders, ' said McLean. Sometimes these signs can be subtle, meaning it's especially important to recognize symptoms of anxiety disorders specific to males. Some clues—nervousness, dread over impending danger and rapid breathing—are common across gender lines, but these five manifestations of anxiety disproportionately impact men: Men with social anxiety disorder are more likely to fear dating and are more commonly single, separated or divorced, according to an analysis of survey information from Columbia University. 'Men are supposed to take the lead in dating,' explained Stefan G. Hofmann, PhD and psychology professor at Boston University who researches anxiety. 'The male is the one who is expected to take the first step. That puts them in a performance situation.' Even in the age of apps, men are typically the pursuer. On OkCupid, males are three times more likely to send a first message in an opposite-sex exchange. This means constantly offering yourself up for evaluation and rejection–an anxiety-inducing prospect. 'It's a challenge for people who don't like to play that game,'said Hofman. Plus, some agonize over being chronically single–with reason–David Ezell, clinical director of Darien Wellness, a psychology clinic in Connecticut, told Men's Health. 'Men really benefit from marriage,' Ezell said. 'They're less likely to be sick. They're less likely to be hospitalized. They're hospitalized for shorter stays if they are hospitalized.' Also, marriage is a status symbol, a sign of 'maturation,' said Ezell. With so much at risk, dating and bachelorhood are significant sources of stress in men with anxiety. Men drink and use drugs to relieve anxiety more often than women, according to the same Columbia University study. Research has consistently shown a link between substance abuse and mental health disorders, particularly in men. 'They are looking for medication,' said Ezell. He explains a glass of booze pairs well with the 'I-can-fix-it-myself' attitude associated with masculinity because it doesn't require medical assistance and may seem like a socially acceptable way to ease stress. 'Alcohol is a very effective drug,' said Hofmann. 'It's why it's so popular.' Think about college students who 'pre-game" by drinking at a dorm or with a small group of friends before going to larger parties. They may not realize it, but this helps manage the anxiety of socializing. Guys who forego professional treatment may instead turn to drugs or heavy drinking to cope with anxiety–and this may be a doorway to addiction. In some men, anxiety may manifest as rage or anger. 'It's much more acceptable,' said McLean. While women may find support from friends or mental health professionals, guys often let their feelings build up until they hit a breaking point–and then the flood gates open. 'Because emotions don't get expressed [by men], because anxiety isn't expressed in a healthy way, there are busts of anger as a result,' said Ezell. 'I think anger is considered decisive.' If typical signs of anxiety, like nervousness or fear, are discouraged in men, anger is their only acceptable emotional response. In another study of survey data from Columbia University, men were more likely than women to experience relationship strain from worrying. This could be because women are more likely to have a circle of close friends, whereas men tend to have few confidants who can provide support through emotional distress. 'Men tend to rely on romantic partners for stress,' said Hofman. This can be a burden, he explained. Sociologist Eli J. Finkel further detailed the risk of putting all that psychological dependence on one person in his book, The All-Or-Nothing Marriage. Finkel argued that modern relationships are tense because people seek comfort, growth, purpose, and a host of other needs from romantic partnerships. Prior generations sought comfort in an entire network of family and friends. 'Marriage for a long time served a set and relatively limited array of different functions for us,' Finkel told the NPR podcast Hidden Brain. 'And over time we've piled more and more of these emotional and psychological functions." Anxious men might burn out their few outlets (or only outlet) for social support quickly. Ezell's practice is located in Darien, Connecticut, a bedroom community for hedge fund managers and Wall Street executives. With a median family income of $208,125, it's frequently named one of the wealthiest municipalities in the United States. Despite their success, Ezell has clients who are riddled with anxiety over what they haven't accomplished. 'My clients make a lot of money,' said Ezell. 'They are still not happy and want to know why.' Guys are often anxious about getting ahead of peers, he said. If a friend winters in Aspen, his client wants to winter in the Alps. There is a particular pressure in status attainment—and status advancement—that fuels anxiety disorders for many. 'We are very grateful by getting things,' Ezell said, 'but we get acclimated to that status very quickly. If I am eating well; I want to be eating better.' You Might Also Like The Best Hair Growth Shampoos for Men to Buy Now 25 Vegetables That Are Surprising Sources of Protein
Yahoo
35 minutes ago
- Yahoo
Weedkiller ingredient widely used in US can damage organs and gut bacteria, research shows
The herbicide ingredient used to replace glyphosate in Roundup and other weedkiller products can kill gut bacteria and damage organs in multiple ways, new research shows. The ingredient, diquat, is widely employed in the US as a weedkiller in vineyards and orchards, and is increasingly sprayed elsewhere as the use of controversial herbicide substances such as glyphosate and paraquat drops in the US. But the new piece of data suggests diquat is more toxic than glyphosate, and the substance is banned over its risks in the UK, EU, China and many other countries. Still, the EPA has resisted calls for a ban, and Roundup formulas with the ingredient hit the shelves last year. Related: 'We thought we'd got the numbers wrong': how a pristine lake came to have the highest levels of 'forever chemicals' on record 'From a human health perspective, this stuff is quite a bit nastier than glyphosate so we're seeing a regrettable substitution, and the ineffective regulatory structure is allowing it,' said Nathan Donley, science director with the Center For Biological Diversity, which advocates for stricter pesticide regulations but was not involved in the new research. 'Regrettable substitution' is a scientific term used to describe the replacement of a toxic substance in a consumer product with an ingredient that is also toxic. Diquat is also thought to be a neurotoxin, carcinogen and linked to Parkinson's disease. An October analysis of EPA data by the Friends of the Earth non-profit found it is about 200 times more toxic than glyphosate in terms of chronic exposure. Bayer, which makes Roundup, faced nearly 175,000 lawsuits alleging that the product's users were harmed by the product. Bayer, which bought Monsanto in 2018, reformulated Roundup after the International Agency for Research on Cancer classified glyphosate as a possible carcinogen. The new review of scientific literature in part focuses on the multiple ways in which diquat damages organs and gut bacteria, including by reducing the level of proteins that are key pieces of the gut lining. The weakening can allow toxins and pathogens to move from the stomach into the bloodstream, and trigger inflammation in the intestines and throughout the body. Meanwhile, diquat can inhibit the production of beneficial bacteria that maintain the gut lining. Damage to the lining also inhibits the absorption of nutrients and energy metabolism, the authors said. The research further scrutinizes how the substance harms the kidneys, lungs and liver. Diquat 'causes irreversible structural and functional damage to the kidneys' because it can destroy kidney cells' membranes and interfere with cell signals. The effects on the liver are similar, and the ingredient causes the production of proteins that inflame the organ. Meanwhile, it seems to attack the lungs by triggering inflammation that damages the organ's tissue. More broadly, the inflammation caused by diquat may cause multiple organ dysfunction syndrome, a scenario in which organ systems begin to fail. The authors note that many of the studies are on rodents and more research on low, long-term exposure is needed. Bayer did not immediately respond to a request for comment. Despite the risks amid a rise in diquat's use, the EPA is not reviewing the chemical, and even non-profits that push for tighter pesticide regulations have largely focused their attention elsewhere. Donley said that was in part because US pesticide regulations are so weak that advocates are tied up with battles over ingredients like glyphosate, paraquat and chlorpyrifos – substances that are banned elsewhere but still widely used here. Diquat is 'overshadowed' by those ingredients. 'Other countries have banned diquat, but in the US we're still fighting the fights that Europe won 20 years ago,' Donley said. 'It hasn't gotten to the radar of most groups and that really says a lot about the sad and sorry state of pesticides in the US.' Some advocates have accused the EPA of being captured by industry, and Donley said US pesticide laws were so weak that it was difficult for the agency to ban ingredients, even if the will exists. For example, the agency banned chlorpyrifos in 2022, but a court overturned the decision after industry sued. Moreover, the EPA's pesticides office seems to have a philosophy that states that toxic pesticides are a 'necessary evil', Donley said. 'When you approach an issue from that lens there's only so much you will do,' he said.
Yahoo
3 hours ago
- Yahoo
A Pilates expert says these are the 8 best exercises for longevity to 'help you stay healthy in later life'
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. If you want to live a longer, more fulfilling life – aka being able to bend down and pick something up without straining your lower back – then building a stronger, more mobile body should be a top priority. Pilates is a great way to achieve this, as it helps improve and maintain our musculoskeletal health. According to Lotty Campbell Bird, founder of The Collective Fitness Studio, this is key to helping you 'stay fit, strong, and healthy in later life.' 'Musculoskeletal health is crucial for longevity because it enables mobility, independence, and overall well-being, all of which are vital for healthy ageing,' she explains. 'Strong muscles, bones, and joints allow you to perform daily tasks, maintain an active lifestyle, and reduce the risk of falls and injuries, which can significantly impact quality of life and lifespan.' In order to help you build a stronger, resilient body, Lotty has shared eight Pilates exercises that will help enhance your musculoskeletal health. 'These exercises build core strength and postural alignment, which supports your spine and joints, prevents musculoskeletal deterioration that is common when aging, and help to maintain bone density.' Make sure you give the video above a quick watch if you're unfamiliar with the exercises (FYI, the video has been sped up, so make sure you take them slow). Focus: Spinal articulation, core engagement, glute and hamstring activation. How to: Lie on your back, knees bent, feet flat Inhale to prepare, exhale to slowly roll your spine off the mat one vertebra at a time Inhale at the top, exhale to roll back down Benefits: Improves spinal mobility, strengthens posterior chain. Reps: 8-10 Focus: Glutes, hamstrings, spinal support, pelvic stability. How to do it: From a bridge position, lift one leg off the mat into tabletop while maintaining level hips Alternate your legs Benefits: Builds leg strength and improves balance, preventing hip and lower back dysfunction. Reps: 5-6 each side Focus: Deep core muscles (transversus abdominis and pelvic floor). How to do it: Lie on your back, lift legs to tabletop or straight up, curl head and shoulders off the mat. Pulse arms vigorously up and down as you inhale for 5 counts, exhale for 5. Benefits: Activates your deep core stabilisers and helps support posture. Reps: x 10 cycles of breath Focus: Improving core control and boosting hip mobility. How to do it: Lie on your back, with your head and shoulders curled up Alternate legs as one pulls in, the other reaches long Benefits: Strengthens abdominals while improving hip mobility and coordination. Reps: 8-10 each side Focus: Back extensor muscles, shoulder stabilisers and glutes. How to do it: Lie face down, hands under your forehead and legs extended. Lift upper back off the ground, keeping your eyeline on the floor and your feet and legs still. Benefits: Supports spinal extension, counters forward postures, and improves muscular balance. Reps: 8-10 reps Focus: Hip stability, glute medius strength and pelvic alignment. How to do it: Lie on your side with one arm tucked under your head for support and stack hips on top of one another Lift top leg slowly with a flex and lower with control with a point Benefits: Strengthens hip, helps with balance and offers lower back support. Reps: 10-15 each leg Focus: Spinal flexion, hamstring stretch, postural alignment. How to do it: Sit tall with legs extended and your feet flexed Inhale to sit taller, exhale to reach forward from the spine Benefits: Lengthens spine, reduces compression, increases flexibility. Reps: 6-8 Focus: Stability of core and pelvis and hip mobility. How to do it: Lie on your back, one leg extended up, the other on the mat Circle the raised leg while keeping hips stable Benefits: Strengthens the core and improves hip joint range of motion without compromising the spine. Reps: 8-10 each side
