‘Cookie jarring': The ‘disgusting' act young people do when dating
'Cookie jarring', a practice whereby someone dates multiple people simultaneously to keep their options open, reportedly first began trending in 2019, the New York Post reports.
Those who are 'cookie jarred' are not the suitor's main person of interest and are instead kept as a backup in case things fall through with the primary object of affection, making the position highly undesirable.
After a brief lull in popularity, a popular dating expert has revealed the 'disgusting' dating act is back.
'Let's be honest, you're keeping them on the side because you want to have somebody else as back-up in case this doesn't work out,' Positive Psychology Coach Arrezo Azim stated, per the Daily Mail.
'The attention's amazing — but the long-term effects are a lot worse if you do it that way.'
Dating trends expert Eugénie Legendre explained there were more effective ways to date than 'cookie jarring'.
'Give yourself time to get to know someone without the influence of anyone else and if things just don't work out, then that's okay — but don't get a back-up because you are unsure,' Legendre told the publication.
It's not only detrimental for the person who is doing the cookie jarring — it's just as damaging for people who have been placed in the back-up position, who may be left wondering why things aren't progressing
Victims of cookie jarring have described the practice as 'disgusting,' 'gross' and 'selfish.'
Cookie jarring is not dissimilar to both the 'benching' and 'breadcrumbing' trends that have become part of the dating lexicon in recent years.
'You like them, you just don't like them enough to prioritise them,' Match chief dating expert Rachel DeAlto previously told the New York Post about the behaviour.
Feeling like a backup can damage a dater's self-esteem.
'It is an innately human desire to be wanted and seen. Being benched creates a cycle of unmet expectations and unclear boundaries, and the person being benched will likely start to feel like they aren't important,' DeAlto added.
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