Mom Refuses to Let Daughter Sleep Over at In-Laws' House. But They Don't Take ‘No' for an Answer
A mother on Reddit is wondering if she's wrong for not letting her in-laws have overnight sleepovers with her 5-year-old daughter
Though she's insistent that it's not allowed, partly because they're struggling to get their daughter on a good sleep schedule, her in-laws keep asking
Commenters on Reddit pointed out that this could be a red flag for more concerning behaviorA mother on Reddit is wondering if she's in the wrong for continuously denying her in-laws' request to have her 5-year-old daughter over for sleepovers.
The mom took to Reddit's r/AmIOverreacting forum to explain the situation, noting that she and her husband "have been together almost 20 years" and welcomed their first child five years ago.
"Since basically day one, my in-laws (but specifically FIL) have asked to have sleep overs with her," the mother explains in the post.
"FIL is a step parent to my husband so already a bit removed for a grandparent sleepover in my opinion," she continues. "They moved their entire lives to be closer to us after our daughter was born which I initially loved. But they have no sense of boundaries and can be a lot."
The decision to deny her in-laws the right to a sleepover isn't just out of concern for her daughter's well-being. The poster explains that her daughter has had issues adjusting to a sleep schedule, and she's worried about throwing it off by allowing sleepovers.
"My partner and I are on the same page that we have spent a lot of time on getting her into a good sleep routine but it's not great," she writes. "We'd rather stick with her schedule and let her spend as much time as she wants with them basically."
Despite the couple's firm stance, her in-laws "won't leave me alone about the sleepovers."
"They stopped asking my husband 'because he said no' yet continue to hound me," she shares. "Am I crazy for thinking it's weird af for adults to be asking/demanding a sleepover with my child?"
Regardless of her in-laws' insistence, she clarifies that she's "firmly in the 'no sleepovers for anyone' camp," regardless of family relation. "I'm going to keep her safe first and foremost. But they also make me feel like an a-hole so I guess I'm checking myself."
The comments on the post are squarely on the mother's side, with many pointing out that her in-laws' repeated requests to get her daughter alone could be a sign of something more sinister.
"When it comes to abuse, the clearest red flag is inisistence and/or manipulation to get alone with a child," one user cautions in the comments. "That is quite often the only red flag you get."
Even if the worst-case scenario isn't true, other commenters pointed out that the continued asking is still an indicator that their boundaries won't be respected.
"Well I can speak from my experience, my mother is exactly like this. It wasn't abusive in a worst-case scenario, but her insistence on sleep overs and everything happening at their house is because she does not like to be told what to do," another commenter shares. "She does not respect what we say."
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