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Yahoo
a day ago
- Yahoo
Americans may aspire to single-family homes, but in South Korea, apartments are king
For many Americans, the apartment where 29-year-old IT specialist Lee Chang-hee lives might be the stuff of nightmares. Located just outside the capital of Seoul, the building isn't very tall — just 16 stories — by South Korean standards, but the complex consists of 36 separate structures, which are nearly identical except for the building number displayed on their sides. The 2,000-plus units come in the same standardized dimensions found everywhere in the country (Lee lives in a '84C,' which has 84 square meters, or about 900 square feet, of floor space) and offer, in some ways, a ready-made life. The amenities scattered throughout the campus include a rock garden with a fake waterfall, a playground, a gym, an administration office, a senior center and a 'moms cafe.' But this, for the most part, is South Korea's middle-class dream of home ownership — its version of a house with the white picket fence. 'The bigger the apartment complex, the better the surrounding infrastructure, like public transportation, schools, hospitals, grocery stories, parks and so on,' Lee said. 'I like how easy it is to communicate with the neighbors in the complex because there's a well-run online community.' Most in the country would agree: Today, 64% of South Korean households live in such multifamily housing, the majority of them in apartments with five or more stories. Such a reality seems unimaginable in cities like Los Angeles, which has limited or prohibited the construction of dense housing in single-family zones. 'Los Angeles is often seen as an endless tableau of individual houses, each with their own yard and garden,' Max Podemski, an L.A.-based urban planner, wrote in The Times last year. 'Apartment buildings are anathema to the city's ethos.' In recent years, the price of that ethos has become increasingly apparent in the form of a severe housing shortage. In the city of Los Angeles, where nearly 75% of all residential land is zoned for stand-alone single-family homes, rents have been in a seemingly endless ascent, contributing to one of the worst homelessness crises in the country. As a remedy, the state of California has ordered the construction of more than 450,000 new housing units by 2029. The plan will almost certainly require the building of some form of apartment-style housing, but construction has lagged amid fierce resistance. Read more: South Korea celebrates the transformative power of 'Squid Game' Sixty years ago, South Korea stood at a similar crossroads. But the series of urban housing policies it implemented led to the primacy of the apartment, and in doing so, transformed South Korean notions of housing over the course of a single generation. The results of that program have been mixed. But in one important respect, at least, it has been successful: Seoul, which is half the size of the city of L.A., is home to a population of 9.6 million — compared with the estimated 3.3 million people who live here. For Lee, the trade-off is a worthwhile one. In an ideal world, she would have a garage for the sort of garage sales she's admired in American movies. 'But South Korea is a small country,' she said. 'It is necessary to use space as efficiently as possible.' Apartments, in her view, have spared her from the miseries of suburban housing. Restaurants and stores are close by. Easy access to public transportation means she doesn't need a car to get everywhere. 'Maybe it's because of my Korean need to have everything done quickly, but I think it'd be uncomfortable to live somewhere that doesn't have these things within reach at all times,' she said. 'I like to go out at night; I think it would be boring to have all the lights go off at 9 p.m.' *** Apartments first began appearing in South Korea in the 1960s and 1970s, as part of a government response to a housing crisis in the nation's capital — a byproduct of the era's rapid industrialization and subsequent urban population boom. In the 1960s, single-family detached dwellings made up around 95% of homes in the country. But over the following decade, as rural migrants flooded Seoul in search of factory work, doubling the population from 2.4 to 5.5 million, many in this new urban working class found themselves without homes. As a result, many of them settled in shantytowns on the city's outskirts, living in makeshift sheet-metal homes. The authoritarian government at the time, led by a former army general named Park Chung-hee, declared apartments to be the solution and embarked on a building spree that would continue under subsequent administrations. Eased height restrictions and incentives for construction companies helped add between 20,000 to 100,000 new apartment units every year. They were pushed by political leaders in South Korea as a high-tech modernist paradise, soon making them the most desirable form of housing for the middle and upper classes. Known as apateu, which specifically refers to a high-rise apartment building built as part of a larger complex — as distinct from lower stand-alone buildings — they symbolized Western cachet and upward social mobility. 'Around the late 1990s and early 2000s, almost every big-name celebrity at the time appeared in apartment commercials,' recalled Jung Heon-mok, an anthropologist at the Academy of Korean Studies who has studied the history of South Korean apartments. 'But the biggest reason that apartments proliferated as they did was because they were done at scale, in complexes of five buildings or more.' Read more: First came the heat. Then the lovebugs invaded Essential to the modern apateu are the amenities — such as on-site kindergartens or convenience stores — that allow them to function like miniature towns. This has also turned them into branded commodities and class signifiers, built by construction conglomerates like Samsung, and taking on names like 'castle' or 'palace.' (One of the first such branded apartment complexes was Trump Tower, a luxury development built in Seoul in the late 1990s by a construction firm that licensed the name of Donald Trump.) All of this has made the detached single-family home, for the most part, obsolete. In Seoul, such homes now make up just 10% of the housing stock. Among many younger South Koreans like Lee, they are associated with retirement in the countryside, or, as she puts it: for 'grilling in the garden for your grandkids.' *** This model has not been without problems. There are the usual issues that come with dense housing. In buildings with poor soundproofing, 'inter-floor noise' between units is such a universal scourge that the government runs a noise-related dispute resolution center while discouraging people from angrily confronting their neighbors, a situation that occasionally escalates into headline-making violence. Some apartment buildings have proved to be too much even for a country accustomed to unsentimentally efficient forms of housing. One 19-story, 4,635-unit complex built by a big-name apartment brand in one of the wealthiest areas of Seoul looks so oppressive that it has become a curiosity, mocked by some as a prison or chicken coop. The sheer number of apartments has prompted criticism of Seoul's skyline as sterile and ugly. South Koreans have described its uniform, rectangular columns as 'matchboxes.' And despite the aspirations attached to them, there is also a wariness about a culture where homes are built in such disposable, assembly line-like fashion. Many people here are increasingly questioning how this form of housing, with its nearly identical layouts, has shaped the disposition of contemporary South Korean society, often criticized by its own members as overly homogenized and lockstep. 'I'm concerned that apartments have made South Koreans' lifestyles too similar,' said Maing Pil-soo, an architect and urban planning professor at Seoul National University. 'And with similar lifestyles, you end up with a similar way of thinking. Much like the cityscape itself, everything becomes flattened and uniform.' Jung, the anthropologist, believes South Korea's apartment complexes, with their promise of an atomized, frictionless life, have eroded the more expansive social bonds that defined traditional society — like those that extended across entire villages — making its inhabitants more individualistic and insular. 'At the end of the day, apartments here are undoubtedly extremely convenient — that's why they became so popular,' he said. 'But part of that convenience is because they insulate you from the concerns of the wider world. Once you're inside your complex and in your home, you don't have to pay attention to your neighbors or their issues.' Read more: They didn't know they were citizens. Now they are expected to serve in the South Korean military Still, Jung says this uniformity isn't all bad. It is what made them such easily scalable solutions to the housing crisis of decades past. It is also, in some ways, an equalizing force. 'I think apartments are partly why certain types of social inequalities you see in the U.S. are comparatively less severe in South Korea,' he said. Though many branded apartment complexes now resemble gated communities with exclusionary homeowner associations, Jung points out that on the whole, the dominance of multifamily housing has inadvertently encouraged more social mixing between classes, a physical closeness that creates the sense that everyone is inhabiting the same broader space. Even Seoul's wealthiest neighborhoods feel, to an extent that is hard to see in many American cities, porous and accessible. Wealthier often means having a nicer apartment, but an apartment all the same, existing in the same environs as those in a different price range. 'And even though we occasionally use disparaging terms like 'chicken coop' to describe them, once you actually step inside one of those apartments, they don't feel like that at all,' Jung said. 'They really are quite comfortable and nice.' *** None of this, however, has been able to stave off Seoul's own present-day housing affordability crisis. The capital has one of the most expensive apartment prices in the world on a price-per-square-meter basis, ranking fourth after Hong Kong, Zurich and Singapore, and ahead of major U.S. cities like New York or San Francisco, according to a report published last month by Deutsche Bank. One especially brutal stretch recently saw apartment prices in Seoul double in four years. Part of the reason for this is that apartments, with their standardized dimensions, have effectively become interchangeable financial commodities: An apartment in Seoul is seen as a much more surefire bet than any stock, leading to intense real estate investment and speculation that has driven up home prices. 'Buying an apartment here isn't just buying an apartment. The equivalent in the U.S. would be like buying an ideal single-family home with a garage in the U.S., except that it comes with a bunch of NVIDIA shares,' said Chae Sang-wook, an independent real estate analyst. 'In South Korea, people invest in apateu for capital gains, not cash flow from rent.' Some experts predict that, as the country enters another era of demographic upheaval, the dominance of apartments will someday be no more. If births continue to fall as dramatically as they have done in recent years, South Koreans may no longer need such dense housing. The ongoing rise of single-person households, too, may chip away at a form of housing built to hold four-person nuclear families. But Chae is skeptical that this will happen anytime soon. He points out that South Koreans don't even like to assemble their own furniture, let alone fix their own cars — all downstream effects of ubiquitous apartment living. 'For now, there is no alternative other than this,' he said. 'As a South Korean, you don't have the luxury of choosing.' Sign up for Essential California for news, features and recommendations from the L.A. Times and beyond in your inbox six days a week. This story originally appeared in Los Angeles Times. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
2 days ago
- Yahoo
13 Times You Thought You Set A Boundary But Accidentally Built A Wall Instead
Setting boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. However, it's easy to misinterpret the line between a healthy boundary and an emotional wall. These walls can unintentionally isolate you from others, causing more harm than good. Let's explore those moments when you thought you were setting a boundary but ended up building a wall instead. 1. Saying "No" To Everything You've finally embraced the power of saying "no," and it feels liberating. However, you've started saying it to almost every request without considering the context. You're trying to protect your time and energy, but now, people hesitate to ask you for anything. Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher, emphasizes that while setting boundaries is essential, being overly rigid can lead to isolation. Finding a balance where you can say "yes" to opportunities that align with your values is key to maintaining relationships. The danger in saying "no" too often is that it can become a reflex rather than a thoughtful decision. When you reject everything, it sends a message that you are unavailable, potentially cutting off supportive connections. The boundary morphs into a wall, preventing meaningful interactions. People begin to perceive you as detached, and opportunities for growth are missed. It's important to evaluate each request individually rather than defaulting to a negative response every time. 2. Ignoring Texts And Calls In the age of constant connectivity, the barrage of notifications can be overwhelming. Ignoring texts and calls becomes your method of coping, a way to reclaim your time and space. Initially, this feels like a boundary that allows you to focus on what matters. However, over time, this habit can alienate the people who genuinely care about you. They may feel neglected and undervalued, thinking you don't prioritize their presence in your life. While it's reasonable to take time for yourself, completely shutting off communication creates unintended barriers. You miss out on spontaneous conversations and the chance to share in your friends' lives. People may start to assume that you're uninterested in maintaining a connection. This "boundary" could lead to misunderstandings or lost friendships. Balance is key—you can be selective about when to respond without disappearing entirely. 3. Being Overly Private Everyone deserves a level of privacy, but keeping everything about yourself under wraps can have unintended consequences. You might think that being private protects you from vulnerability, but it can turn into a barrier that keeps others from truly knowing you. According to Dr. Harriet Lerner, an expert in relationships, being overly private can hinder intimacy and trust, essential components of strong relationships. Sharing bits of your life can create connections and understanding with others. When you keep too much to yourself, people might see you as secretive or untrustworthy. This can make it difficult for others to approach you or feel comfortable sharing their own experiences. It becomes a wall that prevents authentic interactions and keeps relationships superficial. A healthy boundary involves selective sharing that fosters trust and connection, rather than hiding behind a cloak of privacy. Open up a little more, and you might find deeper, more fulfilling relationships. 4. Declining Social Invitations There's a certain peace in choosing solitude over social events, especially when you're often overwhelmed by crowds. Turning down invitations can feel like a form of self-care, a way to recharge without the pressure of socializing. However, consistently rejecting invitations can signal disinterest in maintaining relationships. It may come across as aloofness or disconnection, leading friends to stop inviting you altogether. The intention might be to protect your peace, but it can inadvertently build walls that separate you from others. Social events are opportunities for connection and shared experiences, essential for nurturing relationships. When you always opt out, you miss out on these bonding moments. Instead of outright refusal, consider attending selectively or for shorter durations. This way, you maintain your social ties without compromising your need for downtime. 5. Always Keeping Conversations Surface-Level Engaging in small talk can feel safe; it's a way to participate without diving into anything too personal. However, keeping every conversation at surface level can prevent genuine connections. People might perceive you as indifferent or shallow, which can limit the depth of the relationships you form. A study by Dr. Matthias Mehl from the University of Arizona found that more substantive conversations lead to greater happiness and connection between individuals. By avoiding deeper topics, you miss the opportunity to truly understand and be understood by the people around you. This can result in relationships that feel superficial and unfulfilling, as if there's an invisible barrier between you and others. Being open to discussing more meaningful subjects can demonstrate your interest in the people you're with. It can transform a boundary meant to protect you into a bridge that fosters closer relationships. 6. Having Strict Schedules Having a structured schedule can be an effective way to manage your time and commitments. It provides a sense of control and predictability in a chaotic world. But when your schedule becomes inflexible, it might start to prevent spontaneous interactions. People might feel like they have to book an appointment just to see you, making them hesitant to reach out. Your well-intended boundary of time management turns into a wall that blocks unforeseen opportunities. This wall can create a distance between you and your loved ones, making them feel like they're not a priority. It may also cause you to miss out on impromptu moments that bring joy and variety to life. While having a routine is beneficial, consider building in some flexibility to accommodate unexpected plans or visits. Balancing structure with spontaneity keeps your schedule from becoming a barrier to your social life. 7. Limiting Emotional Expression It's understandable to want to protect yourself from emotional hurt by limiting how much you express. But when you consistently keep your emotions in check, it can create a wall between you and those who care about you. According to psychologist Dr. Susan David, emotional agility is vital for sustaining healthy relationships. By not expressing your feelings, you miss out on the chance for empathy and support from others. Keeping your emotions bottled up may lead others to view you as emotionally unavailable. This can make it hard for people to connect with you on a deeper level, as they may feel unsure about how you truly feel. Your boundary becomes a wall, keeping you isolated from the emotional richness of relationships. Instead, try sharing your emotions in a balanced way, allowing others to understand and support you in times of need. 8. Setting High Expectations Having high standards, especially in relationships, can be a way to protect yourself from disappointment. However, when these expectations are set too high, they can turn into a wall that no one can climb over. People in your life may feel like they constantly fall short, leading to frustration and resentment. Your well-intentioned boundary meant to filter out negativity could end up isolating you instead. When expectations are unrealistic, they become barriers to authentic connections. It's important to distinguish between healthy standards and perfectionism. The latter can lead to a lonely existence where no one feels good enough to be in your life. By setting realistic expectations, you make room for human error and the beauty of imperfection. This approach fosters acceptance and deeper, more enduring relationships. 9. Avoiding Conflict At All Costs Avoiding conflict is a common way to maintain peace in relationships. But when you steer clear of any disagreement, it can lead to unresolved issues and resentment. This avoidance becomes a wall that prevents open communication and growth within relationships. While the intention is to keep things smooth, it can stifle honesty and authenticity between you and others. By not addressing conflicts, you miss the opportunity to address misunderstandings and strengthen bonds. Over time, this wall of avoidance can lead to distance and dissatisfaction in relationships. It's important to approach conflicts as opportunities for constructive dialogue and problem-solving. Facing disagreements head-on can transform a boundary meant to keep peace into a path for stronger connections. 10. Being Self-Sufficient To A Fault Being self-sufficient can feel empowering and can be a way to maintain control over your life. But when you never ask for help, it can create a wall that keeps others at a distance. Friends and family may feel unnecessary or undervalued, as if you don't need them in your life. This self-imposed boundary can lead to isolation and a lack of support when you truly need it. Constantly relying on yourself can prevent you from experiencing the benefits of community and shared responsibilities. It sends a message that you're closed off to collaboration or support. Being open to assistance can transform this wall into a bridge, allowing others to feel involved in your life. Accepting help doesn't mean you're weak; it shows strength in vulnerability and fosters deeper connections. 11. Keeping A Stiff Upper Lip Projecting a strong, unflappable exterior can be a way to protect yourself from appearing vulnerable. However, when you never let your guard down, it can create a barrier preventing others from connecting with you emotionally. People might see you as unapproachable or emotionally cold, which can deter them from forming a closer relationship with you. Your boundary of projecting strength evolves into a wall that distances you from meaningful interactions. When you always keep a stiff upper lip, it can send a message that you don't trust others enough to share your true self. This can result in superficial relationships lacking emotional depth or understanding. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable at times can show others that you trust and value their presence in your life. This can transform a protective boundary into a bridge for deeper connections and mutual support. 12. Making Decisions Without Input Making decisions independently can be an empowering way to assert control over your life. However, when you always make choices without seeking input from others, it can alienate those who care about you. It sends a message that you don't trust their judgment or value their opinions. Your boundary of independence can become a wall that blocks collaboration and mutual decision-making in relationships. By excluding others from your decision-making process, you miss out on diverse perspectives and ideas that could enhance your choices. It can lead to feelings of exclusion or resentment among friends and family who want to support you. Instead of making decisions in isolation, consider involving those who are affected or who care about the outcome. This approach can transform an isolating boundary into an inclusive and supportive network for decision-making. 13. Criticizing More Than Complimenting Offering constructive criticism can be a way to maintain high standards and encourage improvement. However, when criticism outweighs compliments, it can create an environment where people feel undervalued. This balance can erect a wall, making interactions tense and unwelcoming. Your boundary of encouraging excellence can morph into a barrier that discourages and demotivates others. When criticism is constant, it can overshadow positive interactions and achievements, making your relationships feel one-sided. It's important to celebrate successes and acknowledge efforts to maintain a healthy balance. Compliments can serve as a bridge, fostering an environment of appreciation and motivation. By balancing critique with genuine praise, you can maintain a boundary that encourages growth without building a wall of negativity. Solve the daily Crossword
Washington Post
2 days ago
- Washington Post
Asking Eric: Neighbor's new rooster disturbs retirees' peace
Dear Eric: One of our neighbors has acquired backyard chickens and a rooster. His chicken coop is not far from our bedroom window. Now that it's getting warmer, we like to sleep with the windows open to cool off the house at night. The rooster wakes up at 5:20 a.m., so now we do as well.
