Woman with Significant Debt Says Her Husband Doesn't Know How Much She Owes: ‘Am I Delusional?'
She said she currently owns a horse that she could sell for more than $13,000, but doesn't want to lose her 'identity' as a horse owner
The woman shared her story on a community forum, where the majority of commenters said she needs a major reality checkA woman said she hasn't told her husband about her significant debt — and she's asking others 'for some perspective.'
The 32-year-old detailed her story in a forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where people can seek advice from others on a variety of topics. In her post titled "How bad is my situation — am I delusional?' the woman said that she and her husband are childless by choice and own a home together.
She shared that she earns about $60,000 a year and currently has approximately $68,000 worth of debt.
'This has been accumulated over the last 10 years of living above my means/traveling,' she explained, adding, 'However, the thought of tackling it seems so daunting — life is so short, and there are so many things I want to do/places I want to travel.'
'My partner knows I am in debt, but not the extent,' she continued.
The woman went on to say that she owns a horse that 'costs me a significant amount,' and she is wondering if she should sell the animal, given her current financial woes.
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'I would get about 13.5K for him in the current market. However, being a horse owner and an equestrian is such a big part of my identity, so I am dragging my feet. Realistically, when will I be able to justify buying another horse? And I will miss the horse world very much," she wrote.
'I guess I just need some perspective on how urgent/bad my situation is, and some advice on how to proceed without getting too depressed,' the woman concluded, before adding that she only has about $680 in savings.
The vast majority of commenters told the woman that she is in need of a financial wake-up call.
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'You need to face reality,' one person said. 'Sell the horse, get 13.5K [and] use all of that to reduce the debt. When you've sold [the] horse or paid a chunk off, tell your partner the extent of things. They won't want you to spiral further, and holding onto something that colossal isn't going to be great for your relationship.'
'Your income doesn't support your lifestyle, so you need to change one of them,' someone else added. 'Meanwhile, sell the horse and start bringing down your debt. You just have to be mature about it, face reality and take some responsibility for yourself.'
Another commenter said, 'Adjust your expectations. You're going to be paying off debt for years, and you're going to have to strip your life down to necessities, not wants. You might consider therapy to drill into why you're spending so much and [why] maintaining a certain image is so important.'
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