‘It's either him or me': Woman (34) jailed for murdering abusive partner as he slept
Sentencing Julie Ann McIlwaine (34) at
Belfast
Crown Court, Mr Justice Kinney told the mother of four that despite the fact she was bullied, assaulted and subjected to coercive control by Jim Crossley (38), 'nothing can ever excuse the murder of another person'.
The fact she was subjected to domestic abuse did lower McIlwaine's culpability, the judge said, but there were also a number of aggravating features including the use of a weapon on a sleeping victim and 'the number of wounds inflicted'.
The judge said McIlwaine it will be up to parole commissioners to decide when, and under what conditions, she will be released after serving 12 years.
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Addressing the Crossley family, Mr Justice Kinney said he accepted it would be difficult for them to listen to his sentencing remarks 'on several levels', but it was important the features of the 'dysfunctional' relationship were outlined.
McIlwaine admitted inflicting the fatal stab wounds at her former home on Flibert Drive in Dunmurry, Co Antrim on March 1st, 2022, but fought the murder charge on a partial defence of a loss of self-control. A jury unanimously convicted her of murder at the end of a two week trial last October.
The jury of five men and seven women heard Mr Crossley had taken a sleeping tablet and was asleep when McIlwaine crept down the stairs of her former home and picked up the largest kitchen knife she had.
She returned to the bedroom and moved her 10-month-old daughter before stabbing Mr Crossley seven times in his chest and abdomen, once in the leg and once in each arm.
He woke and called out 'help me Julie Ann' as she grabbed the infant and fled, locking herself in the downstairs bathroom before calling 999.
An ambulance crew came to the scene and found Mr Crossley at the top of the stairs, but he died within an hour of being stabbed.
McIlwaine was in the back of a police car on her way to custody when news came through that the man she claimed to love, but who she said had 'tortured' her, had died.
The jury heard Mr Crossley had earlier given McIlwaine an 'ultimatum' of choosing between him or her family.
She was recorded telling police and her neighbour that the situation had got to the point where she believed 'if I don't get rid of him I have no way of escaping from him ... It's either him or me'.
'I didn't plan to kill him. He is a horrible person, twisting things in my head about his solicitor and his family,' she said.
During her police interviews, she said their relationship began in January 2020 and there had been periods of separation with incidents of domestic violence, coercive control and verbal abuse interspersed.
The court heard an outline of some of the alleged abuse, which included Mr Crossley being arrested in Spain in August 2020 after choking McIlwaine in a Santa Ponsa hotel.
He was subject to a restraining order having been convicted of domestic violence, with McIlwaine and her children spending six months living in a Women's Aid refuge in 2021.
He also rammed McIlwaine's car off the road in a drunken rage, causing £7,000 of damage, the court was told.
Speaking after the sentencing, PSNI Det Insp Griffin said it was 'a tragic case which leaves so many family members, including children, totally heartbroken'.
'The two had been in a mutually abusive relationship. At the time of Mr Crossley's death, a restraining order was in place that prohibited him from being in contact with Ms McIlwaine,' the detective said. 'Despite this safeguard, and a period of separation during which the defendant resided in a woman's refuge, Julianne contacted Jim to re-establish their relationship, which he agreed to.'
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