3 Subtle Self-Sabotaging Habits You Shouldn't Ignore, By A Psychologist
For many people, the most obvious solution to psychological pain is escape. It's a common defense mechanism, built on the belief that if you ignore the problem long enough, it'll eventually disappear.
According to a 2024 global study by McCann Worldgroup Truth Central, 91% of people say they feel the need to mentally escape at times, and 1 in 2 specifically report going online to escape reality.
Another 2023 study found that this tendency to escape from discomfort is encompassed by three dimensions: Reality detachment. The motivation to mentally detach from real-world stressors or negative realities.
The motivation to mentally detach from real-world stressors or negative realities. Cognitive distraction. The tendency to divert attention away from distressing thoughts or feelings.
The tendency to divert attention away from distressing thoughts or feelings. Anticipated relief. Expecting temporary relief from discomfort and unpleasant states through consumption, and needing to take a break from stressors.
But the illusion of escape is always short-lived. To prolong its effects, people develop habits and with time, those habits accumulate into long-term consequences.
Here are three such habits that might seem harmless in the moment but, in hindsight, are ticking time bombs quietly sabotaging your mental health and your life. 1. Procrastination With Emotional Avoidance
You know the task is important. But doing it right away would mean facing something you are not yet ready to face. It could be fear of failure, self-doubt, fear of success or meeting the weight of societal or personal expectations. So you avoid it, whether you realize it or not.
You engage in procrastination; doing things that are not a priority, finishing chores that are not time-intensive, keeping yourself occupied, distracting yourself or numbing out the discomfort. You try to escape the nagging voice in the back of your head that reminds you that something is pending.
When you can no longer ignore the task and finally sit down to finish it, you're out of time. The stress you experience then reinforces the idea that it was a terrible decision to attempt it in the first place, which justifies staying overwhelmed and numb.
A 2022 study published in Frontiers in Psychology explains that people use procrastination as a maladaptive coping mechanism; often a result of poor emotional regulation skills.
When a task inflicts aversive emotional states and individuals procrastinate to escape them, it reinforces avoidance that can have long-term negative effects on mental health and other areas of life.
Researchers found that emotional regulation plays an important role in working through this. When people can manage difficult emotions like guilt, fear, shame, boredom, worry, anxiety and frustration, they're more likely to overcome procrastination. 2. Consistently Sabotaging Your Sleep
You may stay up late scrolling, watching YouTube or doing 'just one more thing,' but you're not necessarily enjoying it; rather, you're avoiding the quiet of bedtime that might bring up thoughts you've been pushing away all day.
Exhaustion becomes a form of sedation. And it gives you another excuse to say, 'I just can't think right now.'
Another day springs up, and you wake feeling tired again. Falling into this habit builds long-term fatigue, and sooner or later, it may lead to burnout. A 2023 study investigated why individuals tend to put off going to bed even when they're aware of the need for sleep.
Researchers were interested in pre-sleep arousal, especially mental arousal like worrying and inner racing of the mind. They found that those who are more mentally aroused are likely to procrastinate at bedtime and delay sleeping.
Surprisingly, cognitive arousal in the form of worrying and ruminating was a better predictor of bedtime delay than was physical arousal, suggesting that people may be using bedtime procrastination as a coping strategy, just like other forms of procrastination often are. 3. Overcommitting Or Overcomplicating
You sign up for things you don't want to do. You say yes when you actually mean no. You crowd your schedule with obligations that leave no time for rest or reflection. And in the white noise of being constantly 'needed,' you forget to pay attention to your own voice.
These behaviors create a crisis that feels easier to manage than your underlying emotional truth. As long as there's something that still needs to get done, you never have to stop and ask yourself, 'What do I actually feel right now?'
A 2023 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that overcommitment and emotional rumination, especially when people are unable to detach from their responsibilities, were among the strongest predictors of emotional fatigue, burnout and even psychosomatic symptoms.
By overcommitting to external obligations, many often rent out the space they might otherwise offer to themselves. You may even find yourself staying in difficult relationships, one-sided friendships or situations that drain your energy.
When escape seems like the only answer to their emotional pain, individuals often turn to self-sabotaging habits that harm their mental health and long-term well-being. But these maladaptive coping mechanisms are unsustainable and inevitably come to a stop.
When you find yourself automatically falling into the same old habits, take a moment to pause and try these strategies instead: Ask yourself, 'What emotions am I trying to escape from right now?' Naming them out loud helps reduce their hold over you. Practice self-compassion. This means treating yourself the way you would treat a friend. When you feel swamped with responsibilities, take a break. When you feel worried, write it down. When you feel scared, reach out to a friend and share your concerns. Allow yourself to receive the support you need. Lastly, practice emotional regulation. This includes positive coping strategies such as reframing negative thoughts, practicing grounding techniques and seeking professional mental health support. This can look like: Becoming aware of your feelings in the moment. 'I think I'm worried right now.'
'I think I'm worried right now.' Getting to the source. 'This is because I don't want to mess up my presentation tomorrow.'
'This is because I don't want to mess up my presentation tomorrow.' Choosing your response. Instead of avoiding a task, face the core of your worry, reframe the negative thoughts that fuel your avoidance and get back to the task with intention.
Recognizing your self-sabotaging habits can be difficult, but once you're aware of them, you have the power to choose differently. Putting helpful coping strategies into practice can take time, but it's worth it in the long-run.
If you suspect procrastination is interfering with your goals, take this science-backed test to see how deeply it's affecting your daily life: General Procrastination Scale
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