I cheated on lovely boyfriend with handsome guy on holiday after drunken game of spin the bottle… should I be honest?
I'm a 21-year-old woman and went on holiday to Cyprus with my cousin and her family. While we were there I met her best male friend, who was also on holiday.
He is 24 and I fancied him when I'd met him before — and he was just as gorgeous as ever. Thoughts of my boyfriend quickly melted into the background.
After a beach day, we all had a night out drinking cocktails, then headed back to our villa. Soon after the parents had gone to bed, we all started playing drinking games.
As a dare I ended up sharing a kiss with him, but nothing more. The next day he came over for dinner.
When he arrived, he winked and smiled at me, and I just smiled back, although my heart was racing.
We had another fun night but this time we played spin the bottle and the forfeits became more sexual.
When the bottle spun round to me and then him, he led me by the hand to my bedroom where we had the most amazing sex.
Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it
The next morning I felt terrible. We left that day and when we landed back in the UK, I felt terrible. All I could think about was my boyfriend, who is 23.
He trusts me even though he has been hurt in previous relationships.
If I tell my boyfriend what happened I know I risk him ending our relationship.
My cousin's best friend has definitely got feelings for me.
I keep wondering whether it would work if we got into a relationship.
DEIDRE SAYS: You may want to clear your conscience by confessing to everything, but you would hurt him enormously and possibly cause the break-up of your relationship.
Be honest with yourself, would you realistically share more than great sex with your cousin's friend?
He may just have been enjoying a fun holiday fling.
You have to make up your mind. If you have doubts about your boyfriend then do the honest thing and explain that your heart isn't in the relationship any longer.
Then leave a month or so for the dust to settle before even thinking about getting together with the new guy.
My support pack, Torn Between Two Men, will help you to think this through.
SO NERVOUS SINCE SON'S BIRTH
DEAR DEIDRE: MY son's birth eight months ago has turned me into a nervous wreck. I love him dearly and I am so proud of him, but I worry all the time.
I'm 27 and my partner's 25. We've been together for four years. Ever since my partner found out she was pregnant I started to worry.
I became very protective of her and worried when she went out by herself in case something happened to her such as tripping over or someone accidentally bumping into her.
My partner breezed through her pregnancy and had a relatively easy birth but ever since our son came along I can't help but think about the worst case scenario. The worst is if he cries for no reason.
Thankfully my partner is coping much better than me and doesn't worry like I do.
I'm a big bag of nerves most of the time.
DEIDRE SAYS: Becoming a dad for the first time can produce a whole range of emotions but it is important to be kind to yourself.
It is understandable that you are anxious but being a parent doesn't come easily to anyone.
Remember that babies cry because it is the only way they can communicate. Once your son learns to talk, he can tell you why he is unhappy.
Talking to other dads who have been through similar worries may help you. Visit the website dad.info.
My support pack Help For Stress has lots of advice.
I CAN ONLY HAVE SEX ONCE
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER having sex, I can't get another erection for a good few hours. Is there something wrong?
I am 28 and my wife is 25. We only married four months ago and we're in our honeymoon period, but I have to wait a long time to get aroused again.
We have a very active sex life now but for cultural and religious reasons we didn't have sex before marriage.
I love my wife dearly and want to please her sexually every time. Everything is fine the first time round, and even though I still feel turned on, my erection just doesn't show.
It is embarrassing. I can't help wondering if my wife is becoming disappointed when I can't perform for a second time, even though she hasn't mentioned anything so far.
This is not what I thought or imagined our sex life would be like once we were married.
What is wrong with me?
DEIDRE SAYS: Please don't worry about only being able to have sex once with your wife.
There is always a space of time after a man climaxes before he's able to get another erection. It's called the refractory period, and it differs for everyone.
You may even notice that your individual refractory period varies from session to session.
If you are worried about how long it takes you to reach or recover from orgasm, talk to your doctor who will be able to reassure you.
EMOTIONAL AFFAIR WILL DISTRESS WIFE
DEAR DEIDRE: IF it wasn't for the fact that we have a big family holiday coming up soon, I would have told my wife I have met someone else. Instead, I have to wait until the end of the summer.
I am 37 and my wife is 35. We have been married for nine years and have a four-year-old son.
I don't feel the same about my wife any more. She suffers from depression, which hasn't helped our relationship.
She can't help being unwell so there is no blame. She is receiving help through her doctor for her mental health.
I have never cheated on my wife, but I have met another woman through work.
It's an emotional affair as I'd never cheat while married, so all we do is talk. But I enjoy her company and see a future with her, and she says she feels the same way about me.
I am going to give my son the holiday he deserves and then I will tell my wife our marriage is over.
I know it will be distressing for her, but I can't go on living a lie. She deserves better than that.
Is it wrong to want to be happy even though in the process I will upset the two people who mean the most to me? I don't feel I have a choice if I want a shot at happiness.
DEIDRE SAYS: Depression is a mental health disorder that can have lasting effects on any relationship. Before you end your marriage, make sure it will be the right thing for both of you – and stick to your resolve.
Your wife will understandably be devastated so you must tread carefully, ending it as kindly as you can with minimum damage to your son.
Ask her to come for counselling with you because while it may not be possible to save your relationship it can reduce the pain.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1975).
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help too.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
BBC News
2 minutes ago
- BBC News
Commemorations to remember 1973 Summerland fire's 50 victims
Memorial services for the 50 victims of the Isle of Man's Summerland fire disaster will be held this were about 3,000 people at the complex - one of the biggest entertainment venues in Europe at the time - when it quickly became consumed by flames on 2 August mark the 52nd anniversary of the disaster, Douglas Council will hold a service at the Kaye Memorial Garden at about 18:45 BST on Saturday. Council Leader Devon Watson said the tragedy continued to have a "lasting impact on survivors and the families of those who were lost" and added that an annual service was "essential to ensure they are never forgotten". The service will be led by Douglas Mayor's chaplain Michael Steven Crellin will then lay a wreath on the memorial.A separate commemoration organised by Tina Brennen and the Justice for Summerland Group - which represents some of the disaster's survivors and the families of those affected by it - will see a one-minute silence being held on the Summerland site at 19:00. The tribute will also include wreath laying and a performance from Ellan Vannin Pipes and will take place in front of a "wall of faces" of the victims, family and friends of the 50 who died during the will be in place from 19:00 until 20:00 on Brennen said it would represent that "many people are still suffering" from the tragedy, and allow them to "have their voices heard" as they hold up messages about the will coincide with a weeklong exhibition at the Villa Marina Arcade. This will be open daily from 10:00 until 16:00. Called Summerland 50 - Remembering for the Future, the display covers the development of the north side of Douglas prom during the Victorian era, .It includes the inception of Summerland, the fire and its aftermath up until the present this year, Justice for Summerland submitted an application for a fresh inquest into the was rejected by the island's Attorney General in group is now appealing against that decision and continues to campaign for a memorial on the site of Summerland, which is now a disused carpark. Read more stories from the Isle of Man on the BBC, watch BBC North West Tonight on BBC iPlayer and follow BBC Isle of Man on Facebook and X.
The Sun
2 minutes ago
- The Sun
Eagle-eyed fans spot what Chloe Kelly was doing in hilarious Lionesses celebration photo after Euro 2025 win
PENALTY hero Chloe Kelly was the heart and soul of England's celebrations following the Lionesses dramatic Euro 2025 final victory over Spain. Kelly, 27, kept her cool to slot home the decisive penalty as England retained their title as European champions via a shootout on a historic night in Basel. 4 4 The Arsenal winger had cropped up off the bench when needed throughout the tournament, making her influence known and adding yet another decisive Euros goal to her growing list of career highlights. Kelly understandably had plenty to celebrate as she sang, danced and skipped her way across the pitch in the aftermath to the full-time whistle. However some England fans joked that she was getting a little carried away when a hilarious team photo surfaced seemingly showing her taking a nibble at a teammate's arm. A celebratory selfie snapped by veteran star Lucy Bronze, and uploaded to the Lionesses X account, looked to show Kelly munching on the elbow of substitute goalkeeper Anna Moorhouse. Noticing that the Orlando Pride stopper appeared to have Kelly biting down on her arm, one England fan online joked: "Whose arm is Chloe Kelly munching on?" While another added: " Chloe Kelly looks like she's trying to eat someone's elbow". And a fourth teased: "Chloe Kelly is getting hungry". 4 In reality it seemed to just be an unfortunate angle, with Kelly actually celebrating with another teammate behind Moorhouse. The former Man City forward was the definition of a supersub, coming on for an injured Lauren James at the end of the first half and going on to set up Alessia Russo 's equalising goal and netting the deciding spot kick. Kelly had similar influences from the bench in the Lionesses' dramatic semi-final and quarter-final victories over Italy and Sweden. Speaking after her confidently dispatched penalty, Kelly had no doubt she was going to score having had to rely on a rebounded miss for her winner against Italy earlier in the week. She told the BBC: "I was cool. I was composed. "And I knew I was going to hit the back of the net. I don't miss penalties twice". She added: "The celebrations are going to be crazy. I hope the whole of England comes out to support us and shows the love to all these girls, because they deserve it." The Lionesses made history by becoming the first England side across both the men's and women's game to win a major tournament on foreign soil. While boss Sarina Wiegman added a third consecutive Euros title to her trophy cabinet, her second with the Lionesses after initially tasting success as Holland boss in 2017.
BBC News
30 minutes ago
- BBC News
Liverpool Claude Monet exhibition 'will bring his work to life'
An exhibition designed to "bring to life" more than 400 paintings by the renowned Impressionist artist Claude Monet has come to Monet, at Liverpool Exhibition Centre, uses projection technology to allow visitors to experience pieces including Water Lilies, Impression, Sunrise, and Poppies at Argenteuil."What we have done is to imagine if we went with Monet to all the different locations he painted all over Europe," said the exhibition's creative director Mathieu to the exhibition, which runs until 15 August, will see huge projections of Monet's work beamed on to walls and other surfaces. Mr St-Anaud advised people attending the exhibition to "just let go and don't think about art - experience it as an image as Monet felt when he first saw it".Anna Perry, the project's business development director, said Liverpool was chosen to host the first exhibition in Europe following the "overwhelming success" of the UK premiere of Beyond Van Gogh last also said the Liverpool Exhibition Centre team were "phenomenal to work with". Ms Perry praised the city's "culture and acceptance of art and entertainment and the value that people put in it".She said: "It just felt like there was no other place that we could premiere this."It has only been seen in North America before."Ms Perry said the immersive exhibition "really allows people to tap into elements that they might not have been aware that they were going to be exposed to or feel".She added: "They see the artwork around them, they see it on the floor, they hear the sounds, and I think people just get really blown away."Because children can run around "and feel like they've gone inside paintings" it is a great first art exhibition for youngsters, she Perry said Beyond Van Gogh would also return to Monet, who was born in 1840 and died in 1926, is acknowledged as the founder of the Impressionism movement. Listen to the best of BBC Radio Merseyside on Sounds and follow BBC Merseyside on Facebook, X, and Instagram. You can also send story ideas via Whatsapp to 0808 100 2230.
