People Who've Battled Depression Are Sharing The Things That Actually Helped Them, And In These Trying Times, It's Need-To-Know Information
Depression is different for everyone, and getting out of it can feel impossible — until something finally clicks. So when u/CoolAnt3937 asked, "People who defeated depression, what really helped?" the answers were honest, moving, and full of hard-earned wisdom. Here's what actually made a difference for real people who've been there:
1."I stopped trying to be happy and started trying to be consistent. That changed everything."
—u/mr-alan779
2."People tend to think that fixing depression means you need to feel happy, and the way to fix it is to chase happiness. But happiness is fleeting and incidental, and chasing it just leads to more suffering when you avoid difficult things for short-term, easy, good feels. If you create good habits and live consistently, you don't avoid those difficult things — you just go through them like they're any other day, reducing suffering. And then you can find happiness in moments along the way."
—u/burnalicious111
3."Accepting that depression is never fully defeated. I know that sounds contradictory, but in the darkest periods, it has been really helpful to remind myself: 'You're just sick, and you will start to feel better.'"
—u/RandomRamblings99
"This is what I do. I call them my 'depressive phases' because I KNOW I am not my depression, and it helps to remind myself that I am sick, and it will not last. And as much of a suckfest as it is, you just got to keep pushing through it."
—u/SnarkyNinjas
4."It helps, when the sadness or shame spiral starts, to remind myself: 'This is not me. This is my depression.' For me, it allows me to acknowledge my feelings as legitimate and valid — but not wholly identify with my feelings as a permanent part of who I am. It's like being in open water. Sometimes the waves are rough, and I have to swim really hard to keep my head up. Other times, I can chill on my back and just float. But the water is always there, and I don't personally cause the waves to swell — it just happens sometimes."
—u/Lanky_Rhubarb1900
5."For people with chronic depression (sometimes folks get really depressed and it's situational or environmental), understanding that it needs to be managed like any other chronic disease or illness goes a long way — and then developing protective barriers, strategies, and coping mechanisms as well!"
—u/dragonflyzmaximize
6."You don't defeat depression; you manage it. This can be done through any combo of medication, therapy, having the right job, being around the right people, and finding fulfillment in your life."
—u/Puzzleheaded-Dog1154
7."I lived one day at a time. Stopped aspiring to things in the future. Dropped my goals in life and tried to be in the moment. In the first period, I just slept a lot. At some point, I didn't feel the need to sleep anymore except at night. And I started to look at my job, and I switched jobs. That started to make me feel a little better. I then started eating healthier. From then on, my hobbies finally felt fun again. It felt like a long time, but the moment I noticed I got out of my depression (which was at least 1.5 years) was when I suddenly felt a twinge of happiness in my body. It felt like I woke up from a dark dream — not so much a nightmare. It felt like the light went on. Everything suddenly appeared brighter. I smiled more; I got more smiles back. I started to chat again with complete strangers. I really went from darkness to light. And the funny thing is, I still don't know how I got this depressed."
—u/GiftEfficient
8."I will always remember my own first moment of that beautiful twinge of long-lost happiness — found again after years of struggle. Even if just for a moment, it reminded me of who I am and who I can be. It made me want to keep cultivating my life in a way that produced more and more of that. Now, I feel I live there 75% to 90% of the time. I still have my down moments and struggles. And yes, thank goodness for therapy, friends, and all my small steps forward. But dang, I'm grateful to feel better most of the time. In the deepest of depression, I thought I'd never feel good again.
"Just here to say cheers to YOU! And for anyone reading: one step at a time. The moment you find yourself feeling good for even a minute in a healthy way, savor it. Accept yourself where you are, even when it feels bad again. You have the power to change your life, get help, learn new things, become more flexible and adaptable — and please, be kind to yourself."
—u/GoneInterneting
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9."Getting into shape. Quitting substance abuse (not totally abstaining from everything, don't get scared, lol, I said abuse). Ridding my life of toxic people and relationships —including my own wife of 15 years, who was the root cause of most of my depression, as our relationship was the textbook definition of a trauma bond. And then, finally starting to live FOR ME."
—u/SweetJ138
10."SOBRIETY. Times a thousand. No alcohol, and especially no weed. I'm grateful for 472 days sober."
—u/MorePreparations989
11."You force yourself to do things."
—u/Dry_Pool_6247
12."EXERCISE, and more exercise. Getting outdoors more as well."
—u/Danaskfitness
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13."Meditation. This takes practice and is frustrating at first. Keep at it, and you'll be able to give yourself moments of peace. A few minutes of relief from the suffocation of depression is sometimes lifesaving."
—u/NudeSpaceDude
14."Writing down my feelings and trying to figure out why I'm feeling them. This helped me learn about myself, identify stressors, and figure out what I needed to improve my mental health."
—u/NudeSpaceDude
15."Find a creative outlet. Whether it's drawing, writing, making video games, or singing in the shower, find something to get at least some of the thoughts out of your head."
—u/NudeSpaceDude
16."Literally turning my phone completely off, and taking long walks."
—u/ai9x82
17."I got a new phone a few months ago and decided no more Facebook and Instagram. The only social media I have is Reddit, and I'm usually more of a lurker. That was the best decision I've made in years!"
"Also, getting a job that is outdoors. The heat can be miserable, but the fresh air and the number of audiobooks I burn through is a huge plus."
—u/robotred12
18."Nutrition and sleep. This does so much more than most people think. Eating healthy can be hard if you're poor, and getting sleep can be difficult for a lot of people. But try your best to eat a healthy diet and get eight to 10 hours of sleep."
—u/NudeSpaceDude
19."Seek professional help. This obviously can be hard if you're under 18 or can't afford it, but therapy really can help. You need to find a therapist who's good at their job and is a good match for you, so don't give up after the first one. Most first therapists don't go well, but if you find a good therapist, they can absolutely change your life."
—u/NudeSpaceDude
20."Mine was cholesterol, so I changed my diet."
—u/tomtelouise
21."Find yourself some decent people."
—u/BlackberryPuzzled204
22."Becoming financially stable."
—u/Brattney985
23."Mine was work. Quit my job. Depression went away."
—u/Jephta
24."Mine was situational, so I changed my situation."
—u/Low_Mongoose_4623
25."I literally transformed my entire lifelong depression when I finally listened to my therapist. I remember the day she told me that 'depression is a choice,' and I never hated anyone more in my life. But over time, I realized it was 100% true. The CBT triangle talks about how we have thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. You can't control (for the most part) your thoughts and feelings, but you can control your behaviors. You can't help that you feel depressed or think depressed things, but you can do 'opposite action' — do the opposite of what you want to do as a depressed person. With depression, motivation FOLLOWS action — not the other way around. When you're depressed and you say, 'Damn, I haven't cleaned in a while. I'll wait until I feel a little better to,' it's exactly like saying, 'I'll wait to go to the gym until I have abs.' The only way to beat depression is to do the opposite of what it asks of you."
"Truly life-changing."
—u/[deleted]
Have you ever felt like you were finally turning a corner with your mental health? What made the difference for you? Share your thoughts or story in the comments — you never know who might need to hear it.
Note: responses have been edited for length/clarity.
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