Dating with Bipolar Disorder
Being honest about your mental health can have a really positive impact on your life and the lives of those around you. In my personal experience, the more I've opened up about my bipolar disorder and the struggles that come with it, the better I feel.
There's no denying the stigma that still exists around mental illness, but I've found that the best way to combat the related misconceptions is to talk about it. For me, this is especially true in my dating life.
I can't remember a time when I haven't made some mention of mental health or my own journey with it once I began dating someone. It's not that I detail my recent hypomanic episode or list out the prescriptions I take, but I do find it helpful and pretty freeing to be transparent about my condition. Doing so gives me the opportunity to give the person I'm seeing more insight into who I am and how I experience the world, to answer questions, and connect with them on an emotional level. It also helps me to suss out how they might handle it as a potential romantic partner.
I've been very lucky to have dated partners who were both empathetic and open-minded about my having bipolar disorder. Some have even intervened during an episode, a panic attack, or made sure to text me each day as a reminder to take my medication when I struggled to stay consistent. Not only did these things make me feel reassured and cared for, but they also reaffirmed to me how beneficial it is to communicate about my condition and how it is impacting me.
Based on what previous partners have told me, it isn't always easy to love someone who has bipolar disorder. When I first received my diagnosis, it wasn't just my life that was changed: the community of people in my life were impacted, too. This is especially true in the case of spending time or living with a romantic partner. They often have the most intimate connection with you, meaning that they see every facet of who you are up close.
Although it was hard for him to admit (and hard for me to process), an ex of mine told me that my hypomanic episodes sometimes scared him. He knew me well enough to recognize when my behavior changed because of hypomania, and while he was proactive about caring for me in those moments, it still affected him emotionally.
Rather than getting defensive or taking what he said to heart, I tried to use that conversation as a learning moment. Taking responsibility for my own mental health isn't just for my own benefit. It is also necessary and the least I can do for the people who love and support me.
Dating itself isn't always simple. At times, I find that I don't really even enjoy the process of meeting new people on dates. That said, if you — like me — would enjoy having a romantic partnership one day, being open about your mental health is one of the best practices that can lead to a healthy, strong relationship. There is so much strength in vulnerability, so sharing that part of your life with someone you care about is just another way to flex your emotional health 'muscle.'
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