Pregnant Woman Says Her Husband 'Is Very Excited' to Take a Low-Paying Job with Tons of Travel — But She's ‘Pretty Annoyed'

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6 days ago

A pregnant woman says that her husband is considering taking a job that does not pay well and would require lots of travel
She says that she is 'pretty annoyed,' and that he doesn't seem to see how the timing 'isn't ideal'
The woman detailed her story on a popular community forum in order to get input from others about whether or not she's being unreasonableA pregnant woman says that her husband is thinking about taking a low-paying job that requires lots of travel — and says he doesn't seem to understand why this 'isn't ideal.'
The woman detailed her story on the 'Am I Being Unreasonable' forum on the U.K.-based community site Mumsnet.com, a place where women can go to seek advice from other women about interpersonal issues. In her post, the woman — who says she is expecting her first child — explains that her husband was recently let go from his job.
'Not ideal but he got a great payout, and I earn really good money (I'm by far the higher earner),' she adds.
The original poster (OP) goes on to say that her husband was 'nonetheless getting to the point where he was getting worried about the fact he didn't yet have a new job,' and thus was 'very excited' when a friend recently offered him a 'business opportunity.'
She says that the job would require 'traveling a lot,' and 'he would not be earning anywhere near enough for me to give up my job.'
'So I'm looking at having a baby, a full-time job and an absentee partner while I spend evenings alone,' she says, adding that she has no nearby familial support.
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The OP says that she is 'pretty annoyed,' and 'definitely didn't react well' to the initial conversation about the new opportunity. However, she also says that her husband 'does not see how this isn't ideal.'
'Obviously, I want to support his next career move, but surely the timing has to be considered?' she goes on to say, adding, 'I'd rather he didn't work at all than take a job where he was hardly going to be around when we have a baby.'
The majority of post commenters reassured the OP that her feelings about the situation are not unreasonable.
'No, he shouldn't be considering a job with unknown amounts of travel at this point. That's crazy,' one person said.
Another person added, 'Some may see it as 'controlling,' but I've always categorically let my [husband] know I will not accept a relationship where he travels a lot for work or works long hours as the norm. It's not the life I want, and I'm not going to parent that way. He is free to accept that or leave!'
'YANBU [you are not being unreasonable] at all,' said someone else, adding, 'Is he perhaps feeling worried about being able to provide for his family, so grasping at anything that comes his way?'
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The same person said, 'I think you could empathize a bit more with what's going on for him, so you can come to a consensus about what's right for both of you together.'
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