'I don't know how I survived it': the untold stories of teenage carers

The Advertiser

18-06-2025

Maddie McAuliffe was just trying to keep up with school work and deal with puberty when she began caring for both her mum and brother in earnest.
Her older brother by two years had ongoing mental health problems combined with a hereditary joint and muscle condition, while her mother began battling type 2 diabetes and liver disease.
She was 14, living in a single parent household in regional Victoria, and unaware of where to turn for help.
"Looking back on it now, I don't know how I survived it," Ms McAuliffe, now 25, said.
"A lot of it was teachers, schools [not] understanding or being a little bit more nicer about things and not just judgmental, or putting it down to that everything's behavioral."
Ms McAuliffe's experience is not uncommon.
The latest data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) revealed the number of carers aged 25 and under increased by 156,000 to 391,300 over the four years to 2022.
And that caring, while sometimes rewarding, takes a toll.
Carers aged 14 to 15 were more likely to fall behind at school and struggle financially, new research drawn from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children has found.
Boys who cared for someone in their home for at least five hours a week were one and a half years behind their peers with no caring responsibilities in year 9 NAPLAN reading results and almost the same in numeracy.
For girls in a similar boat, they were nearly 10 months behind in reading, according to the Young carers: impacts of caring on children's learning and wellbeing report.
The study, released on June 19, also found teenage carers were more likely to live in a jobless, lower income household with parents relying on government assistance and more likely to experience financial hardship.
"Policies aimed at improving school readiness and early school outcomes of those children with household members with a restrictive health condition or disability will improve the future prosperity of young carers," the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) report said.
Ms McAuliffe, from Shepparton in northern Victoria, said she wished her school had been more understanding when she was adjusting to responsibilities at home.
"It's hard when schools don't understand or don't make referrals for younger children [and] teenagers to get extra resources or additional help," she said.
"Normally they just put it down to behavior as being, 'Oh they've got ADHD' or 'They're just acting out'.
"They don't see the whole story, or they don't ask for it until sometimes it's too late."
In between grocery shopping and medical appointments she finished year 12 and went on to get TAFE qualifications as a teacher's aide and in early childhood education - and now works at a before and after school care service.
But there were many days when she spent school class time drawing because she lacked the energy for anything else.
"Other days I was able to focus and get the school work done and it was just exhausting," Ms McAuliffe said.
Since then her mother has been through a life-threatening health scare which involved trips back and forth to Melbourne.
"All the experts are down in Melbourne so, unless you've got private health insurance or can access privately, you don't get that opportunity in your own home or in your own city," she said.
With help from organisations like Little Dreamers, which supports young people caring for family members, Ms McAuliffe is doing her best to look after her mum with cooking, cleaning and "reminding her to sit down" when she gets tired.
This is something the young woman sees continuing in her future.
"Probably still living with Mum and still working, still taking care of her for as long as she needs it," she said.
Maddie McAuliffe was just trying to keep up with school work and deal with puberty when she began caring for both her mum and brother in earnest.
Her older brother by two years had ongoing mental health problems combined with a hereditary joint and muscle condition, while her mother began battling type 2 diabetes and liver disease.
She was 14, living in a single parent household in regional Victoria, and unaware of where to turn for help.
"Looking back on it now, I don't know how I survived it," Ms McAuliffe, now 25, said.
"A lot of it was teachers, schools [not] understanding or being a little bit more nicer about things and not just judgmental, or putting it down to that everything's behavioral."
Ms McAuliffe's experience is not uncommon.
The latest data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) revealed the number of carers aged 25 and under increased by 156,000 to 391,300 over the four years to 2022.
And that caring, while sometimes rewarding, takes a toll.
Carers aged 14 to 15 were more likely to fall behind at school and struggle financially, new research drawn from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children has found.
Boys who cared for someone in their home for at least five hours a week were one and a half years behind their peers with no caring responsibilities in year 9 NAPLAN reading results and almost the same in numeracy.
For girls in a similar boat, they were nearly 10 months behind in reading, according to the Young carers: impacts of caring on children's learning and wellbeing report.
The study, released on June 19, also found teenage carers were more likely to live in a jobless, lower income household with parents relying on government assistance and more likely to experience financial hardship.
"Policies aimed at improving school readiness and early school outcomes of those children with household members with a restrictive health condition or disability will improve the future prosperity of young carers," the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) report said.
Ms McAuliffe, from Shepparton in northern Victoria, said she wished her school had been more understanding when she was adjusting to responsibilities at home.
"It's hard when schools don't understand or don't make referrals for younger children [and] teenagers to get extra resources or additional help," she said.
"Normally they just put it down to behavior as being, 'Oh they've got ADHD' or 'They're just acting out'.
"They don't see the whole story, or they don't ask for it until sometimes it's too late."
In between grocery shopping and medical appointments she finished year 12 and went on to get TAFE qualifications as a teacher's aide and in early childhood education - and now works at a before and after school care service.
But there were many days when she spent school class time drawing because she lacked the energy for anything else.
"Other days I was able to focus and get the school work done and it was just exhausting," Ms McAuliffe said.
Since then her mother has been through a life-threatening health scare which involved trips back and forth to Melbourne.
"All the experts are down in Melbourne so, unless you've got private health insurance or can access privately, you don't get that opportunity in your own home or in your own city," she said.
With help from organisations like Little Dreamers, which supports young people caring for family members, Ms McAuliffe is doing her best to look after her mum with cooking, cleaning and "reminding her to sit down" when she gets tired.
This is something the young woman sees continuing in her future.
"Probably still living with Mum and still working, still taking care of her for as long as she needs it," she said.
Maddie McAuliffe was just trying to keep up with school work and deal with puberty when she began caring for both her mum and brother in earnest.
Her older brother by two years had ongoing mental health problems combined with a hereditary joint and muscle condition, while her mother began battling type 2 diabetes and liver disease.
She was 14, living in a single parent household in regional Victoria, and unaware of where to turn for help.
"Looking back on it now, I don't know how I survived it," Ms McAuliffe, now 25, said.
"A lot of it was teachers, schools [not] understanding or being a little bit more nicer about things and not just judgmental, or putting it down to that everything's behavioral."
Ms McAuliffe's experience is not uncommon.
The latest data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) revealed the number of carers aged 25 and under increased by 156,000 to 391,300 over the four years to 2022.
And that caring, while sometimes rewarding, takes a toll.
Carers aged 14 to 15 were more likely to fall behind at school and struggle financially, new research drawn from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children has found.
Boys who cared for someone in their home for at least five hours a week were one and a half years behind their peers with no caring responsibilities in year 9 NAPLAN reading results and almost the same in numeracy.
For girls in a similar boat, they were nearly 10 months behind in reading, according to the Young carers: impacts of caring on children's learning and wellbeing report.
The study, released on June 19, also found teenage carers were more likely to live in a jobless, lower income household with parents relying on government assistance and more likely to experience financial hardship.
"Policies aimed at improving school readiness and early school outcomes of those children with household members with a restrictive health condition or disability will improve the future prosperity of young carers," the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) report said.
Ms McAuliffe, from Shepparton in northern Victoria, said she wished her school had been more understanding when she was adjusting to responsibilities at home.
"It's hard when schools don't understand or don't make referrals for younger children [and] teenagers to get extra resources or additional help," she said.
"Normally they just put it down to behavior as being, 'Oh they've got ADHD' or 'They're just acting out'.
"They don't see the whole story, or they don't ask for it until sometimes it's too late."
In between grocery shopping and medical appointments she finished year 12 and went on to get TAFE qualifications as a teacher's aide and in early childhood education - and now works at a before and after school care service.
But there were many days when she spent school class time drawing because she lacked the energy for anything else.
"Other days I was able to focus and get the school work done and it was just exhausting," Ms McAuliffe said.
Since then her mother has been through a life-threatening health scare which involved trips back and forth to Melbourne.
"All the experts are down in Melbourne so, unless you've got private health insurance or can access privately, you don't get that opportunity in your own home or in your own city," she said.
With help from organisations like Little Dreamers, which supports young people caring for family members, Ms McAuliffe is doing her best to look after her mum with cooking, cleaning and "reminding her to sit down" when she gets tired.
This is something the young woman sees continuing in her future.
"Probably still living with Mum and still working, still taking care of her for as long as she needs it," she said.
Maddie McAuliffe was just trying to keep up with school work and deal with puberty when she began caring for both her mum and brother in earnest.
Her older brother by two years had ongoing mental health problems combined with a hereditary joint and muscle condition, while her mother began battling type 2 diabetes and liver disease.
She was 14, living in a single parent household in regional Victoria, and unaware of where to turn for help.
"Looking back on it now, I don't know how I survived it," Ms McAuliffe, now 25, said.
"A lot of it was teachers, schools [not] understanding or being a little bit more nicer about things and not just judgmental, or putting it down to that everything's behavioral."
Ms McAuliffe's experience is not uncommon.
The latest data from the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) revealed the number of carers aged 25 and under increased by 156,000 to 391,300 over the four years to 2022.
And that caring, while sometimes rewarding, takes a toll.
Carers aged 14 to 15 were more likely to fall behind at school and struggle financially, new research drawn from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children has found.
Boys who cared for someone in their home for at least five hours a week were one and a half years behind their peers with no caring responsibilities in year 9 NAPLAN reading results and almost the same in numeracy.
For girls in a similar boat, they were nearly 10 months behind in reading, according to the Young carers: impacts of caring on children's learning and wellbeing report.
The study, released on June 19, also found teenage carers were more likely to live in a jobless, lower income household with parents relying on government assistance and more likely to experience financial hardship.
"Policies aimed at improving school readiness and early school outcomes of those children with household members with a restrictive health condition or disability will improve the future prosperity of young carers," the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) report said.
Ms McAuliffe, from Shepparton in northern Victoria, said she wished her school had been more understanding when she was adjusting to responsibilities at home.
"It's hard when schools don't understand or don't make referrals for younger children [and] teenagers to get extra resources or additional help," she said.
"Normally they just put it down to behavior as being, 'Oh they've got ADHD' or 'They're just acting out'.
"They don't see the whole story, or they don't ask for it until sometimes it's too late."
In between grocery shopping and medical appointments she finished year 12 and went on to get TAFE qualifications as a teacher's aide and in early childhood education - and now works at a before and after school care service.
But there were many days when she spent school class time drawing because she lacked the energy for anything else.
"Other days I was able to focus and get the school work done and it was just exhausting," Ms McAuliffe said.
Since then her mother has been through a life-threatening health scare which involved trips back and forth to Melbourne.
"All the experts are down in Melbourne so, unless you've got private health insurance or can access privately, you don't get that opportunity in your own home or in your own city," she said.
With help from organisations like Little Dreamers, which supports young people caring for family members, Ms McAuliffe is doing her best to look after her mum with cooking, cleaning and "reminding her to sit down" when she gets tired.
This is something the young woman sees continuing in her future.
"Probably still living with Mum and still working, still taking care of her for as long as she needs it," she said.