5 Unintentionally Rude Things People Do
Rude people either live in a vacuum of self-awareness — or just don't care.
I fear I have been 'that guy' a few times. I've unintentionally ruffled feathers and burned bridges in my wake.
Heck, I'm sure a few people have said, 'If Sean does that one more time, I will reach across this table."
By the end of this article, you will know what to look out for — and how to avoid being an accidental fool. It will help you preserve friendships, and live a better, more seamless life.
Getting a gauge on where they are 'really' from
Some people are as subtle as a brick through a window.
Especially here in the US. If someone is non-white, don't make it into your mission to find out where they are 'really' from.
I see this cringefest commonly with Asian-Americans, some of whom have been here for two generations.
They talk with no accent and couldn't be more American. But some stranger begins interrogating them like they just stepped off the boat on Ellis Island. The stranger stops just short of asking for their green card.
And look — I'm not Mr. Perfect. I'm sure I've done this at some point. It's more out of curiosity as I'm into family heritage stuff.
I've now seen it from the outside and realize it's generally a bad look. Questions about a stranger's heritage can wait until you know them a little better.
A question that implies there's something wrong
My spouse, Laura, says that men used to always ask her, 'So why are you still single?'
They often asked it in this curious and doubtful tone — that implied something had to be wrong.
'She must be crazy or have some type of baggage.'
If you think about it, that question is loaded with assumptions: that she is looking for a boyfriend, that she's getting rejected because she's broken, and that you know her well enough to ask that type of question.
For the record, Laura was one of those women who spent most of her 20s single by choice.
Their question was probably just their awkward way of saying she was super attractive. But they unintentionally send bad vibes.
Commenting about anything bizarre on their appearance
One of my guy friends has dark circles under his eyes naturally. That's just how he looks.
Too often, people comment, 'You look tired.'
'Have you gotten sleep, buddy? You look sleepy.'
He plays it off like it doesn't bother him. But I can tell it makes him insecure.
In general, I'd refrain from commenting about someone's appearance in any negative or neutral light. Don't point out irregularities about their face. That includes telling them they should smile more.
This is especially true with women. Years ago, my dad was in the car with me and I was only 10-years-old.
We weren't even talking. And just out of the blue he said, 'I don't care how tall, beautiful, ugly, skinny, or fat a woman is — don't ever make a joke about her weight.'
I suspect he'd witnessed some cringe.
Dining habits from hell
There's this habit of slurping amongst otherwise civilized people.
They sound like a toddler using a straw for the first time. And I'm not just talking about soup. Literally, any liquid is grounds for a mouth concert.
It's the drinking version of hearing someone chew with their mouth open. It also makes the person seem like they are finishing their drink in a frenzy of dehydration.
Some people are repeat offenders. They moan in pleasure as they eat and smack their mouth like a cow and then unleash burps.
One of my coworkers had this big bag of tortilla-style Doritos. Every day around 11, he sat behind me and spend a solid 20 minutes each day slowly crunching through these chips.
Now granted, I know in some countries in Asia, slurping is normal — while blowing your nose in a restaurant would be hugely rude (it generally isn't in the US).
I hate hearing the sound of other people eating and consuming food with no effort to conceal the noise. Please have the courtesy to limit the mouth noise.
Culture math on our arrival time
Years ago, one of my marketing professors, Professor Eric Ritter, told me people judge you by three things:
Your personality.
The quality of your work.
Your punctuality.
And it makes sense if you think about it. Some people are on time, have great personalities, but do shotty work. Others do great work, are on time, but total jerks.
And there have been plenty of people who I liked and respected greatly, who drove me nuts on their habitual lateness.
It's particularly aggravating when meeting someone for lunch or dinner.
I don't like writing their tardiness off as being on Island Time. Perhaps this is my military upbringing making me a bit of a stiff.
I don't like sitting alone at a lunch table for 15–20 minutes every time we get together. It tells me the other person doesn't respect my time.
A friend suggested, 'Just lie to them and say you are meeting 15 minutes earlier than you actually are.'
That feels convoluted and dishonest. I don't like doing culture math on the appropriate level of lateness to be. If we are meeting at 6, let's meet at 6. Cool?
The worst one of all
The Kingslayer unintentionally rude thing that I've had the non-pleasure of witnessing.
Asking a woman how 'far along' she is—when she isn't pregnant.
If you have to ask, go with something safe like, 'Do you have children?'
Or make sure I'm out of earshot so I don't have to cohabitate the cringe grave with you. Stupid Bob to the non-pregnant girl: 'Wow! you look so regnant. When are you gonna pop that thing out?'
It makes me want to shrivel up into a ball.
Unless you are her doctor, and she is in front of you, in labor, avoid that question.
Recap for memory: intentionally rude things people do
Slurping and being a loud eater (with cultural exceptions).
Commenting on someone's appearance or pointing out any abnormality.
Interrogating a minority stranger's 'real' homeland.
Being habitually late with no valid excuse.
Asking a woman how far into her pregnancy she is.
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Yahoo
an hour ago
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5 Unintentionally Rude Things People Do
A lesson for the faux polite people of the world. Rude people either live in a vacuum of self-awareness — or just don't care. I fear I have been 'that guy' a few times. I've unintentionally ruffled feathers and burned bridges in my wake. Heck, I'm sure a few people have said, 'If Sean does that one more time, I will reach across this table." By the end of this article, you will know what to look out for — and how to avoid being an accidental fool. It will help you preserve friendships, and live a better, more seamless life. Getting a gauge on where they are 'really' from Some people are as subtle as a brick through a window. Especially here in the US. If someone is non-white, don't make it into your mission to find out where they are 'really' from. I see this cringefest commonly with Asian-Americans, some of whom have been here for two generations. They talk with no accent and couldn't be more American. But some stranger begins interrogating them like they just stepped off the boat on Ellis Island. The stranger stops just short of asking for their green card. And look — I'm not Mr. Perfect. I'm sure I've done this at some point. It's more out of curiosity as I'm into family heritage stuff. I've now seen it from the outside and realize it's generally a bad look. Questions about a stranger's heritage can wait until you know them a little better. A question that implies there's something wrong My spouse, Laura, says that men used to always ask her, 'So why are you still single?' They often asked it in this curious and doubtful tone — that implied something had to be wrong. 'She must be crazy or have some type of baggage.' If you think about it, that question is loaded with assumptions: that she is looking for a boyfriend, that she's getting rejected because she's broken, and that you know her well enough to ask that type of question. For the record, Laura was one of those women who spent most of her 20s single by choice. Their question was probably just their awkward way of saying she was super attractive. But they unintentionally send bad vibes. Commenting about anything bizarre on their appearance One of my guy friends has dark circles under his eyes naturally. That's just how he looks. Too often, people comment, 'You look tired.' 'Have you gotten sleep, buddy? You look sleepy.' He plays it off like it doesn't bother him. But I can tell it makes him insecure. In general, I'd refrain from commenting about someone's appearance in any negative or neutral light. Don't point out irregularities about their face. That includes telling them they should smile more. This is especially true with women. Years ago, my dad was in the car with me and I was only 10-years-old. We weren't even talking. And just out of the blue he said, 'I don't care how tall, beautiful, ugly, skinny, or fat a woman is — don't ever make a joke about her weight.' I suspect he'd witnessed some cringe. Dining habits from hell There's this habit of slurping amongst otherwise civilized people. They sound like a toddler using a straw for the first time. And I'm not just talking about soup. Literally, any liquid is grounds for a mouth concert. It's the drinking version of hearing someone chew with their mouth open. It also makes the person seem like they are finishing their drink in a frenzy of dehydration. Some people are repeat offenders. They moan in pleasure as they eat and smack their mouth like a cow and then unleash burps. One of my coworkers had this big bag of tortilla-style Doritos. Every day around 11, he sat behind me and spend a solid 20 minutes each day slowly crunching through these chips. Now granted, I know in some countries in Asia, slurping is normal — while blowing your nose in a restaurant would be hugely rude (it generally isn't in the US). I hate hearing the sound of other people eating and consuming food with no effort to conceal the noise. Please have the courtesy to limit the mouth noise. Culture math on our arrival time Years ago, one of my marketing professors, Professor Eric Ritter, told me people judge you by three things: Your personality. The quality of your work. Your punctuality. And it makes sense if you think about it. Some people are on time, have great personalities, but do shotty work. Others do great work, are on time, but total jerks. And there have been plenty of people who I liked and respected greatly, who drove me nuts on their habitual lateness. It's particularly aggravating when meeting someone for lunch or dinner. I don't like writing their tardiness off as being on Island Time. Perhaps this is my military upbringing making me a bit of a stiff. I don't like sitting alone at a lunch table for 15–20 minutes every time we get together. It tells me the other person doesn't respect my time. A friend suggested, 'Just lie to them and say you are meeting 15 minutes earlier than you actually are.' That feels convoluted and dishonest. I don't like doing culture math on the appropriate level of lateness to be. If we are meeting at 6, let's meet at 6. Cool? The worst one of all The Kingslayer unintentionally rude thing that I've had the non-pleasure of witnessing. Asking a woman how 'far along' she is—when she isn't pregnant. If you have to ask, go with something safe like, 'Do you have children?' Or make sure I'm out of earshot so I don't have to cohabitate the cringe grave with you. Stupid Bob to the non-pregnant girl: 'Wow! you look so regnant. When are you gonna pop that thing out?' It makes me want to shrivel up into a ball. Unless you are her doctor, and she is in front of you, in labor, avoid that question. Recap for memory: intentionally rude things people do Slurping and being a loud eater (with cultural exceptions). Commenting on someone's appearance or pointing out any abnormality. Interrogating a minority stranger's 'real' homeland. Being habitually late with no valid excuse. Asking a woman how far into her pregnancy she is. Solve the daily Crossword
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For these Mexican firefighters, finding migrants' bodies on the border prepared them to help in the Texas flooding recovery
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The rescue group stepped up to help in Texas despite the strenuous immigration climate in the US, marked by deportation flights, ICE raids and court cases playing out across the country. 'This is not about politics or borders or anything like that,' Fuentes told CNN. 'It's about people helping people, and it's a community helping another community. Politics … doesn't come into play when human lives are at stake.' Herrera had a day off on July 4 when the scale of the flooding in Texas came into the public eye. When his group of firefighters with the Ciudad of Acuña's fire department found out what was happening in Kerr County, they immediately began coordinating plans to help in their WhatsApp group. Roughly a month before the catastrophic flooding, some of the firefighters of Fundación 911 held training exercises with the Mountain Home Volunteer Fire Department in central Texas. When they started to understand the level of devastation, one of Fundación 911's leaders called the Texas fire department asking if they needed help. The next morning, the Mexican fire department began gathering equipment, vehicles and supplies, Fuentes said. The Acuña firefighters were able to enter the country lawfully, with three requiring a provisional permit to work as humanitarian aid workers, Herrera said. Less than two days after the Guadalupe River surged, these Mexican firefighters arrived in Texas to aid in rescue and recovery. They were comprised of two groups: Fundación 911 and firefighters working with the Ciudad of Acuña's fire department. Fundación 911 is a nonprofit group of firefighters united to gather donations of materials and equipment from fire stations and other emergency response stations to give to different corps in Mexico that don't have the money to acquire them. Many members of the group had family in the region, which helped them understand the level and scale of the flooding, Herrera said. At least 136 people were killed in central Texas during the historic July Fourth flooding, among those dead were girls from Camp Mystic along the Guadalupe River. More than a summer's worth of rain fell into the area that night, catapulting the surrounding area into chaos. Wading through the raging waters of the Guadalupe River after the flooding presented a new challenge for the group of firefighters from Mexico. The Fundación 911 firefighters worked in collaboration with the Mountain Home Volunteer Fire Department across Kerr County, hunting up and down the Guadalupe River for signs of life. 'When we saw the situation there in Kerr County, it was totally different. It's a natural disaster, an emergency,' Herrera said. 'It was completely different than a Rio Bravo rescue,' referring to the river's name in Mexico. Unlike the Rio Grande, which has significant sections of raging currents, in addition to still waters, the firefighters had to brave through a river full of fallen trees, cars, mobile homes and other forms of debris, Fuentes said. 'The amount of water that came down the Guadalupe River was completely out of proportion to what we had in mind,' Herrera said. 'Here was not only a search in the water but also debris removal and a little bit of investigation.' The Guadalupe River tested these firefighters' knowledge and experience with search and rescue tactics, he said. Prev Next The crews spent six days in the country, and the majority of the search and rescue operations were held over the first few days of the flooding. As rescue operations wound down, the priority shifted to a recovery mission heading downwind along the river. As they looked for bodies, the group of firefighters began using a technique they use along the Rio Grande where they stick a PVC pipe through debris to see if they can smell a decomposing body, Fuentes said. The decision to help in the Texas flooding was personal for Fuentes, who put himself in the shoes of parents worrying about the whereabouts and safety of their children lost in the floods. As a father of two, Fuentes stressed he would have wanted all of the help he could have in the search and rescue missions. When Ismael Aldaba, the president of Fundación 911, called, 'It was a no brainer for me,' Fuentes said. 'I immediately decided to go over and help.' The devastation and the reminders of all that was lost stood out to Aldaba. 'A lot of the challenges that we've seen here we've never seen in any of the emergencies we've had before, not to this magnitude,' Aldaba told CNN. 'It's amazing to see personal items, clothing, 20 to 25 feet stuck on the trees.' One of the main motivations for the group of firefighters during their recovery missions was to locate the missing Camp Mystic girls during their six days along the Guadalupe, Herrera said. 'If it had been my daughter, I would be here day, afternoon and night until I found her,' Herrera said. Helping out in Texas with these search and rescue efforts was an unforgettable experience, especially because of the warmth from locals, Herrera said. The Latino community in Kerr County welcomed the Mexican crews with open arms, offering them houses, places to sleep and bathe, Herrera said. Each day, locals gave them food, fresh water and desserts. 'They took us to a person who did our hair for free, took us to nurses who put us on IVs and other things. We had a person who gave us a massage to relax us because of the high stress we had in the flood situation,' he said. 'To think that the whole community was grateful that we were there, and not only the Latino community, but all the people who came wherever we stopped, they thanked us,' Herrera said. Fire departments across the state from different counties and cities including Dallas, Arlington, Plano and Corpus Christi extended their hands to meet them personally, Herrera said. The Mexican group exchanged techniques and experiences while working under the Mountain Home Volunteer Fire Department, teaching each other new skills, including the PVC pipe technique to find bodies. The bond the two groups of firefighters forged stems from a mutual calling to serve the greater good, Herrera said. 'If you arrive at a fire station in the United States and want to talk to someone, they will always welcome you with open arms,' he said. 'That vocation to serve in all emergency services, especially the fire department, is a very beautiful thing. It fills you with joy – they adopt you as if you were one of them.'
CNN
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For these Mexican firefighters, finding migrants' bodies on the border prepared them to help in the Texas flooding recovery
Pulling dead bodies of migrants and their children from the raging waters of the Rio Grande along the US-Mexico border is something a group of Mexican firefighters from border town Ciudad Acuña are used to. Techniques honed during routine searches, like sticking a PVC pipe through a mound of debris to smell the decomposing scent of bodies, proved invaluable after the devastating July Fourth central Texas flooding along the Guadalupe River. Cristopher Herrera and Jorge Fuentes, members of rescue group Fundación 911, were some of the earliest first responders that arrived to assist in the search and recovery efforts. Their group is trained for specialized search and rescue situations along the Rio Grande, a river migrants from Central and South America cross hoping to start a new life in the United States. The rescue group stepped up to help in Texas despite the strenuous immigration climate in the US, marked by deportation flights, ICE raids and court cases playing out across the country. 'This is not about politics or borders or anything like that,' Fuentes told CNN. 'It's about people helping people, and it's a community helping another community. Politics … doesn't come into play when human lives are at stake.' Herrera had a day off on July 4 when the scale of the flooding in Texas came into the public eye. When his group of firefighters with the Ciudad of Acuña's fire department found out what was happening in Kerr County, they immediately began coordinating plans to help in their WhatsApp group. Roughly a month before the catastrophic flooding, some of the firefighters of Fundación 911 held training exercises with the Mountain Home Volunteer Fire Department in central Texas. When they started to understand the level of devastation, one of Fundación 911's leaders called the Texas fire department asking if they needed help. The next morning, the Mexican fire department began gathering equipment, vehicles and supplies, Fuentes said. The Acuña firefighters were able to enter the country lawfully, with three requiring a provisional permit to work as humanitarian aid workers, Herrera said. Less than two days after the Guadalupe River surged, these Mexican firefighters arrived in Texas to aid in rescue and recovery. They were comprised of two groups: Fundación 911 and firefighters working with the Ciudad of Acuña's fire department. Fundación 911 is a nonprofit group of firefighters united to gather donations of materials and equipment from fire stations and other emergency response stations to give to different corps in Mexico that don't have the money to acquire them. Many members of the group had family in the region, which helped them understand the level and scale of the flooding, Herrera said. At least 136 people were killed in central Texas during the historic July Fourth flooding, among those dead were girls from Camp Mystic along the Guadalupe River. More than a summer's worth of rain fell into the area that night, catapulting the surrounding area into chaos. Wading through the raging waters of the Guadalupe River after the flooding presented a new challenge for the group of firefighters from Mexico. The Fundación 911 firefighters worked in collaboration with the Mountain Home Volunteer Fire Department across Kerr County, hunting up and down the Guadalupe River for signs of life. 'When we saw the situation there in Kerr County, it was totally different. It's a natural disaster, an emergency,' Herrera said. 'It was completely different than a Rio Bravo rescue,' referring to the river's name in Mexico. Unlike the Rio Grande, which has significant sections of raging currents, in addition to still waters, the firefighters had to brave through a river full of fallen trees, cars, mobile homes and other forms of debris, Fuentes said. 'The amount of water that came down the Guadalupe River was completely out of proportion to what we had in mind,' Herrera said. 'Here was not only a search in the water but also debris removal and a little bit of investigation.' The Guadalupe River tested these firefighters' knowledge and experience with search and rescue tactics, he said. Prev Next The crews spent six days in the country, and the majority of the search and rescue operations were held over the first few days of the flooding. As rescue operations wound down, the priority shifted to a recovery mission heading downwind along the river. As they looked for bodies, the group of firefighters began using a technique they use along the Rio Grande where they stick a PVC pipe through debris to see if they can smell a decomposing body, Fuentes said. The decision to help in the Texas flooding was personal for Fuentes, who put himself in the shoes of parents worrying about the whereabouts and safety of their children lost in the floods. As a father of two, Fuentes stressed he would have wanted all of the help he could have in the search and rescue missions. When Ismael Aldaba, the president of Fundación 911, called, 'It was a no brainer for me,' Fuentes said. 'I immediately decided to go over and help.' The devastation and the reminders of all that was lost stood out to Aldaba. 'A lot of the challenges that we've seen here we've never seen in any of the emergencies we've had before, not to this magnitude,' Aldaba told CNN. 'It's amazing to see personal items, clothing, 20 to 25 feet stuck on the trees.' One of the main motivations for the group of firefighters during their recovery missions was to locate the missing Camp Mystic girls during their six days along the Guadalupe, Herrera said. 'If it had been my daughter, I would be here day, afternoon and night until I found her,' Herrera said. Helping out in Texas with these search and rescue efforts was an unforgettable experience, especially because of the warmth from locals, Herrera said. The Latino community in Kerr County welcomed the Mexican crews with open arms, offering them houses, places to sleep and bathe, Herrera said. Each day, locals gave them food, fresh water and desserts. 'They took us to a person who did our hair for free, took us to nurses who put us on IVs and other things. We had a person who gave us a massage to relax us because of the high stress we had in the flood situation,' he said. 'To think that the whole community was grateful that we were there, and not only the Latino community, but all the people who came wherever we stopped, they thanked us,' Herrera said. Fire departments across the state from different counties and cities including Dallas, Arlington, Plano and Corpus Christi extended their hands to meet them personally, Herrera said. The Mexican group exchanged techniques and experiences while working under the Mountain Home Volunteer Fire Department, teaching each other new skills, including the PVC pipe technique to find bodies. The bond the two groups of firefighters forged stems from a mutual calling to serve the greater good, Herrera said. 'If you arrive at a fire station in the United States and want to talk to someone, they will always welcome you with open arms,' he said. 'That vocation to serve in all emergency services, especially the fire department, is a very beautiful thing. It fills you with joy – they adopt you as if you were one of them.'
