'I had no desire to play": Colts' Braden Smith confronts OCD with psychedelics after faith-driven spiral nearly ends NFL career
Braden Smith bravely battled severe OCD (Image via USA Today Network)
Indianapolis Colts offensive tackle Braden Smith has always been known for his strength in the trenches. But behind the helmet and pads, he's been quietly battling a much more personal and invisible opponent—Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, specifically a form known as religious scrupulosity.
It's a condition that nearly pushed him out of football altogether.
Braden
Smith
turns to psychedelics after crippling OCD
What began as a deepening exploration of faith in 2024 spiraled into a mental health crisis for Braden Smith. 'I was having a court case in my mind all the time – pleading myself to the jury,' he said, describing the inner turmoil that followed his efforts to align his thoughts with scripture. The NFL veteran became consumed by guilt, fearing that even a stray thought might constitute a sin.
By the middle of last season, the effects were debilitating. Smith said he experienced mental breakdowns before games and became so disoriented that he considered retirement. 'I had no desire to play,' he confessed, haunted by obsessive thoughts like, 'Would God want you doing this?' Even mid-game, he wasn't spared—his OCD would whisper during high-stakes moments, urging him to sell his soul to win.
With support from his wife, Courtney, and a teammate who shared a similar struggle, Smith checked into a mental health facility for 48 days.
The diagnosis of OCD offered clarity but limited relief. Surgery was suggested, but the couple instead chose a more unconventional path: psychedelic therapy in Mexico using ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT.
'It opened doors into my mind,' Smith said of the experience. 'These fears, they're not real... The ibogaine gave me that blank slate.' The therapy helped him reframe the intrusive thoughts and separate faith from compulsive guilt.
Though he can't legally continue the treatment in the U.S., the impact has been lasting.
His journey has since resonated with others battling similar conditions. Smith doesn't pretend to have all the answers, but he urges people to talk to someone they trust. 'If you don't talk about it, you don't get anything out of it,' he emphasized. 'My wife was the one that was getting me the help. I was ashamed to get help.'
Also Read:
Josh Allen's touchdown dominance overshadows Patrick Mahomes and Jalen Hurts ahead of 2025 season
Now back with the Colts and training for the new season, Smith knows the road ahead still holds mental challenges. But for the first time in a long while, he's not fighting alone—and he's not fighting silently.
Game On Season 1 continues with Mirabai Chanu's inspiring story. Watch Episode 2 here.
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a day ago
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'I had no desire to play": Colts' Braden Smith confronts OCD with psychedelics after faith-driven spiral nearly ends NFL career
Braden Smith bravely battled severe OCD (Image via USA Today Network) Indianapolis Colts offensive tackle Braden Smith has always been known for his strength in the trenches. But behind the helmet and pads, he's been quietly battling a much more personal and invisible opponent—Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, specifically a form known as religious scrupulosity. It's a condition that nearly pushed him out of football altogether. Braden Smith turns to psychedelics after crippling OCD What began as a deepening exploration of faith in 2024 spiraled into a mental health crisis for Braden Smith. 'I was having a court case in my mind all the time – pleading myself to the jury,' he said, describing the inner turmoil that followed his efforts to align his thoughts with scripture. The NFL veteran became consumed by guilt, fearing that even a stray thought might constitute a sin. By the middle of last season, the effects were debilitating. Smith said he experienced mental breakdowns before games and became so disoriented that he considered retirement. 'I had no desire to play,' he confessed, haunted by obsessive thoughts like, 'Would God want you doing this?' Even mid-game, he wasn't spared—his OCD would whisper during high-stakes moments, urging him to sell his soul to win. With support from his wife, Courtney, and a teammate who shared a similar struggle, Smith checked into a mental health facility for 48 days. The diagnosis of OCD offered clarity but limited relief. Surgery was suggested, but the couple instead chose a more unconventional path: psychedelic therapy in Mexico using ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT. 'It opened doors into my mind,' Smith said of the experience. 'These fears, they're not real... The ibogaine gave me that blank slate.' The therapy helped him reframe the intrusive thoughts and separate faith from compulsive guilt. Though he can't legally continue the treatment in the U.S., the impact has been lasting. His journey has since resonated with others battling similar conditions. Smith doesn't pretend to have all the answers, but he urges people to talk to someone they trust. 'If you don't talk about it, you don't get anything out of it,' he emphasized. 'My wife was the one that was getting me the help. I was ashamed to get help.' Also Read: Josh Allen's touchdown dominance overshadows Patrick Mahomes and Jalen Hurts ahead of 2025 season Now back with the Colts and training for the new season, Smith knows the road ahead still holds mental challenges. But for the first time in a long while, he's not fighting alone—and he's not fighting silently. Game On Season 1 continues with Mirabai Chanu's inspiring story. Watch Episode 2 here.
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