Smugglers' adventures: All the fun of the fair (and fresh air) at the seaside in Hastings
We decided to escape London's sticky heatwave for somewhere with a sea breeze and plenty of cold water to cool off in. Hastings, which I'd never been to before, seemed the perfect choice.
Not only is there an ancient castle for the history buffs (that's me), there's penny arcades, a funfair, an aquarium and the crowning glory: a smugglers' adventure – that's dark caves carved out of rock with actual ghosts (apparently). Talk about spooky!
Setting sail
We were due to 'set sail' (metaphorically) from Charing Cross station at 10.15am – on 'a proper train' as my son described it, staring back at the cramped London Underground we'd just left behind.
He was right to be pleased: once we were moving, Hastings-bound – with 15 packets of crisps, seven orange juices, what felt like 500 bags of sweets and my Family & Friends Railcard all displayed proudly on the train table like an artwork – the journey to the coast became part of the adventure.
Where else can you spot world-famous landmarks from the comfort of your train seat? We saw the London Eye, Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, the Thames and Southwark Cathedral before anyone had even munched their way through a single snack.
RDG HASTINGS ONE
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The girls settled into watching a movie on their iPads, my son was playing a game and I actually read a book – the last time I'd read a book was probably before I had the children. In fact, this journey was so revelatory that I don't think I will ever drive again. It's all about taking trains, now. I was so relaxed, it felt like being on a spa day.
Where else can you spot world-famous landmarks from the comfort of your seat? We saw the London Eye, Big Ben, the Houses of Parliament, the Thames and Southwark Cathedral before anyone had munched a single snack.
Just an hour-and-a-half later, we arrived in Hastings and navigated our way to our guesthouse: Ruby's Rooms – an arty space just 10 minutes from the town centre. We had the entire ground floor sea-view apartment, with a continental breakfast included, free Wi-Fi and just a 30-second walk to the beach. What a win.
Sea life
We'd been in the apartment for five minutes, when the kids started whining about having to get into the sea IMMEDIATELY. Beach towels borrowed from Kate at Ruby's Rooms, we headed for the shore, where the children did something utterly unthinkable: they got straight in the sea. It takes me at least an hour to work up the nerve but they were straight in and under. Unbelievable.
Once they were out and I could stop anxiously hovering in the shallows worrying about them, I laid my towel on the pebbles and closed my eyes, feeling like I was in Marbella. Hot sun, salt in the air, the girls making silly TikTok videos and my son burying himself in rocks. Everything was dreamy.
Even better, was getting an ice cream from one of the many artisanal ice cream shops along the parade. Black treacle flavour with a black charcoal waffle cone? My goth heart was sated! The kids scoffed a weird combo of pistachio, peppermint and bubblegum ice-cream as we tackled an incredibly steep hill on the way to the 'Smugglers' Adventure. They were enjoying themselves so much – I didn't hear a single moan from them.
RDG HASTINGS TWO
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Once we we got to Smugglers' Adventure however, there was plenty of moaning. It was all ghostly though – so much that my son wrapped himself around my leg like a baby koala as soon as the eerie voice of Hairy Jack – a smuggler from the past, doubling as our tour guide ghost – boomed through the dark caverns. We had a lot of fun attempting to hoist an anchor and shouting 'boo!' at the waxworks.
I laid my towel on the pebbles and closed my eyes, feeling like I was in Marbella. Hot sun, salt in the air, the girls making silly TikTok videos and my son burying himself in rocks. Everything was dreamy.
Ahoy! It was time for pizza! I'd read about the 'best pizza in Hastings' online – and despite fierce competition, opted for Monellis sourdough gourmet pizza on George Street – and boy, was it worth it – if a little spicy! After another ice-cream for the walk home to cool our mouths down, we fell into the penny arcades, where we spent far too much money trying to win a dinosaur toy on the 2p slot machines.
Historical Hastings
The next morning, it was off to a castle to learn about history – I ignored the laments of, 'Do we have to?' And won them round by telling them about the Battle of Hastings in 1066, which I still remember even though I'm ancient. 10/10 for Mum.
They got even more enthusiastic when I reminded them that according to the Bayeux Tapestry, King Harold was killed at the Battle of Hastings by being shot in the eye with an arrow. Grisly. If there's one thing I'm learning about my children, this weekend, is that they are weird, wonderful – and grisly. So, off we headed up the very steep hill, into the castle entrance, and straight into the dungeons.
RDG HASTINGS THREE
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They were a welcome break from the heat (that steep hill in 28-degree heat, carrying everyone's bags wasn't pleasant). I considered asking the man behind the counter if he would lock the kids up in the dungeons for a couple of hours, but sadly he looked too busy. Shame.
Instead, we did what everyone should do when looking at the ruins of an ancient castle – cartwheels – as well as a comedy 'jump shot' through an archway; and marvelled at the genuinely stunning panoramic views. We could see right out across the bay; we could see people sailing, swimming – we could even see France, right there on the horizon, through the haze. C'est magnifique.
It would be all too easy to lose track of time, but thankfully, I had a FitBit which told me we'd already done 26,000 steps (that would be the steep hill) – and our feet were aching, so we decided to grab the super-cute funicular railway lift back down the cliff to the old town. It was built in 1902, I told them. 'Was that when you were born?' my son said. Thank you, thank you…
We did what everyone should do when looking at the ruins of an ancient castle – cartwheels – as well as a comedy 'jump shot' through an archway; and marvelled at the stunning panoramic views.
We were really going for it now, trying to fit everything in during our final precious hours, so we made a pit-stop at the aquarium to see some cool sharks, wandered along the seafront where we discovered a truly gigantic anchor, had an incredible fish and chips meal at Maggie's and still had time for another ice-cream and a spot of shopping, before it was time to get the train home. We slumped tired but happy into our seats, knowing we could relax after all the action.
What did I learn? Children are the best travel companions – funny, frank, eye-wateringly honest when something is going well… and when it isn't. They don't fake anything – when they're having fun, you know about it – and those are the sweetest moments of all. And as a bonus, Hairy Jack and the dungeons have given me great reasons to make them do their homework…
Enjoy great value British adventures by train
From stunning nature and the great outdoors, to culture, cuisine and incredible scenery, there's no doubt Britain has it all in spades, and these unmissable adventures are just a simple, enjoyable train ride away. So there's never been a better time to start planning some Great British getaways, from day trips to weekends away or a longer staycation. With Railcard, whether you're travelling solo or with a friend, on a couples weekend or off on holiday with the family, you can save on all sorts of train journeys around Great Britain. Railcard helps you save a third off rail travel and for just £35 for the year, it pays for itself in no time. With 9 different Railcards available, find the one for you at railcard.co.uk. So make this your year to get out, experience and explore everything on your doorstep and enjoy truly great value getaways.
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