Latest news with #familydynamics
Daily Mail
21 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Jennifer Garner's chilly reunion with woke Violet after their hotel blowup over teen's privileged rant
Jennifer Garner looked noticeably stern as she reunited with daughter Violet on Friday—just weeks after the teen publicly aired their hotel room spat over climate change. The 19-year-old, whom Garner shares with ex-husband Ben Affleck, recently went viral for a Yale essay in which she detailed a heated argument with her mom, 53, during a January stay at a luxury hotel. The family had evacuated their Los Angeles home to escape the city's wildfire smoke—something Violet later criticized as a privileged response to the climate crisis. According to a exclusive, Garner and Affleck were reportedly blindsided by the essay and had no idea Violet had written about the incident for her college paper. But on Friday night, the mother-daughter duo appeared to be working through the tension as they stepped out for dinner at celeb-favorite A.O.C. in Brentwood. Dressed in a striped sweater and jeans, Garner looked deep in conversation with her daughter, who wore a red pullover and flowing maxi skirt. Of course, Violet faced some backlash for toting high-end accessories in the days following her climate change rant. In May, she was photographed carrying a vintage Chloé Marcie bucket bag—an item that typically resells for around $1,000. Just days earlier, the Yale freshman had also been spotted with a Marc Jacobs purse valued between $200 and $300. The sightings sparked criticism online, with some questioning whether her message about climate privilege aligned with her own designer tastes. The news comes after Violet stepped out with her Oscar-winning father as well as her younger brother Samuel, 13, to grab a lowkey lunch - and had draped the stylish bag over her arm. Affleck and Garner - whose divorce was finalized in 2018 - are also parents to child Fin, 16. Violet has been vocal about her advocacy for both climate change and public health - such as the student demanding 'mask mandates' last year during an impassioned speech. But she recently penned an essay for her university's Global Health Review which was titled A Chronically Ill Earth: COVID Organizing as a Model Climate Response in Los Angeles. The Gen Zer detailed an argument that she had with her mom Jennifer Garner in the wake of the deadly fires that ravaged through Southern California at the beginning of the year. She had stated that while the 13 Going On 30 actress was left 'shell-shocked' over the devastation - Violet admitted that she was simply 'surprised at her surprise.' In the paper which was published on May 18, the student wrote of Garner: 'She was shell-shocked, astonished at the scale of destruction in the neighborhood where she raised myself and my siblings. 'I was surprised at her surprise: as a lifelong Angelena and climate-literate member of generation Z, my question had not been whether the Palisades would burn but when.' Violet then recalled having conversations with adults while staying at a hotel with her family to 'escape the smoke.' 'Though, I found my position to be an uncommon one: people spoke of how long rebuilding would take, how much it would cost, and how tragically odd the whole situation had been. 'The crisis was acute, a burst of bad luck. It had come from a combination of high winds and low rains.' The Yale student also wrote about how her younger brother Samuel had doubts that the fires were linked to climate change. 'Hopefully, most of us understand the climate crisis better than my little brother,' she added. Garner had volunteered with World Central Kitchen in the wake of the disaster to help feed firefighters and victims of the flames. During an emotional interview with MSNBC, the actress also revealed that she had lost a friend in the fires. Elsewhere in her school essay, Violet penned about society's approach when it comes to a crisis - and used COVID-19 as an example. She wrote about the government tackling the pandemic and facing the pressures to 'return to normal' by society. 'While vaccines have been extremely effective in reducing death rates, those of us who have never stopped "following the science" know that even mild COVID infections are dangerous.' Other topics Violet touched on included the effects of Long COVID and how privilege or bias can affect who receives a quick response for aid. She then followed up with an example about FEMA's differing response to the L.A. fires and the floods in North Carolina last year. At the time of the flames in January, Violet had also 'pressured' her family into wearing face masks once again due to poor air quality. A source told 'Violet Affleck has been pressuring her family to put a mask on since she has been back home because right now the air quality is unhealthy. 'She is clearly not going to give up on advocating for mask mandates. It has become a part of who she is and what she stands for.' The insider added that the college student 'is so passionate about this and she feels vindicated for her work championing masks because she does, truly, believe that her opposition to the ban is warranted. 'She is hoping the fires will serve to show people that masks can be used in times not only connected to the spread of a virus.' Last year in July, Violet had asked that 'mask bans' come to an end inside medical facilities during a speech to the governing body for Los Angeles County. She further asked the board to 'confront the long COVID crisis' and explained how she had contracted 'a post-viral condition' back in 2019. The teenager said at the time, 'I demand mask availability, air filtration and Far-UVC light in government facilitates, including jails and detention centers, and mask mandates in county medical faculties. 'You must expand the availability of high-quality free tests and treatment, and most importantly the county must oppose mask bans for any reason. They do not keep us safer.' Violet's speech garnered differing reactions - with some praising the Ivy League student while others called her 'utterly deluded.' Her father Ben also gave his eldest child a warning and told her that she needed to be 'realistic,' a source told 'While Ben and Jen will always support their daughter, Ben had a conversation with her and told her that she needs to be realistic with this because he doesn't want her to waste all of her time putting effort into something that probably won't make a difference in the long run. 'He knows how strongly she feels about this, but now that Violet is an adult, he felt that it was his duty to let her know that she is David fighting Goliath and that most people unfortunately do not feel the same way she does about this.' The insider added the Ben, 'was also concerned that Violet felt as if her parent's star power was going to be able to guarantee her the outcome that she wanted which, in this case, it is not.'
Yahoo
a day ago
- Business
- Yahoo
My brother stole $100K from my mom to buy bitcoin. Do I convince her to sue him?
I am so glad there is a place to send my thorny question. I am a longtime reader and have learned a lot from you, especially that with good planning you can avoid lots of heartache and family stress. Unfortunately, while I like to look ahead, the rest of my family are not planners. Any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciated. Here is the background. I am the oldest of two children. My brother lives in California, I live in Washington and our parents are in Utah. They are in their early 70s and have not yet made a will. My dad would like an attorney's office to be the estate executor because my brother and I do not live nearby, and for other reasons. Most American weddings are a lot more extravagant than the nuptials of Amazon's Jeff Bezos Israel-Iran clash delivers a fresh shock to investors. History suggests this is the move to make. 'He doesn't seem to care': My secretive father, 81, added my name to a bank account. What about my mom? My job is offering me a payout. Should I take a $61,000 lump sum or $355 a month for life? My friend asked me to chip in $1,600 for her son's prom-night limo. Has the world gone mad? My brother treats my parents like his employees, telling them what to do and how to do it. When my mom inherited money from her family about four years ago, he convinced her to put the money into an account with a high interest rate. He also convinced her to put some in bitcoin. My mother is not an educated woman and just went along with it. A few months later when she logged in to check her balance, the account was empty. My brother had transferred $100,000 into bitcoin BTCUSD without telling her. He had her passwords because he had helped to set up the account originally. She was furious and demanded her money back, but he convinced her to wait a few years. When I told my mom it was a good time to pull her money out of bitcoin, she confessed that my brother had put her money into his own bitcoin account. She acknowledges that he stole from her, but she refuses to do anything about it. She says that in the will, I will get $100,000 more, but I don't care about that. My parents' life revolves around him. Anytime my brother needs 'help' they will drop everything and drive to California to help with his dogs or his daughter, who he has no time to raise. My parents just don't want to fight with him, and so I don't think they'll ever bring up the bitcoin. They say they're almost 'even' now because my brother gave them his old cars. Those cars were worth maybe $60,000 combined, but my parents had perfectly good cars to begin with. I tried to explain to them that a car is not cash; its value depreciates. I wouldn't be so upset except that I worry that my parents don't have enough for retirement. Also, my brother still hasn't signed over the titles for the cars because he's too 'busy and stressed right now.' Because he is so manipulative, I also worry about them getting older. I would like to have a power of attorney for them, but I think my brother could convince them to put him in charge. This is clearly a family issue more than a money issue, but I would still like to avoid any money problems if possible. My mom already doesn't like to talk about it. I would like to suggest to my parents that instead of leaving their money to my brother and me, she could set up a trust for each of her three grandkids for college. Their house, which is paid off, is worth $550,000. They started retirement a year ago with $300,000 in cash (I don't know if that was after my brother took $100,000) and they have Social Security and a 401(k). What should I do now? Daughter/Sister Related: My friend asked me to pay $1,600 for her son's prom-night limo. Has the world gone mad? I agree with both you and your mother, even if your approaches may differ. Your mom knows more than you probably realize. She knows your brother is a ne'er-do-well. But she still loves him. She knows that he stole $100,000 from her and invested it in a bitcoin account in his name only even though he was purporting to do her a favor. But she still loves him. She knows he will continue his shenanigans ad nauseum. But she still loves him. The bar is obviously a lot higher for you, as you also know the cut of your brother's jib, and you've been witnessing it for more years than you care to remember. You don't like your brother and you don't appreciate how he continues to exploit and cheat your parents. He is not your child, so you're not as willing to let things slide. That's also fair enough. But your mother is older than you and she doesn't want to get involved in a protracted legal drama with your brother and publicly humiliate him. I'm sure plenty of people are aware of how he operates, and he suffers the consequences of that. The risk to her mental health and the time it would take from her life is not worth the reward, if there was a reward. The first thing she should do now is make sure all her passwords are changed on her accounts, and alert her bank to the risk of further embezzlement, so they can monitor her account. Banks have, for the most part, gotten wise to phishing scams and financial abuse, and take note when older people move to make large withdrawals from their accounts. You could also suggest that your parents freeze their credit with the three major credit bureaus — Experian, TransUnion and Equifax — in case your brother decides to take out a loan in your parents' names. If he is embarking on a new business venture, it wouldn't do any harm to mark their cards that, given his track record, he may come calling should debtors come knocking on his door. I support your endeavor to have a durable power of attorney for your parents so you can manage their affairs if they become incapacitated, along with a healthcare directive to make medical decisions for them. They can also consider options such as a do-not-resuscitate order, if they don't wish to have life-sustaining measures taken if their heart stops or they stop breathing. These are all good questions to raise. Your challenge, as many children of aging parents well know, is how far, how long and how hard to push for these protections. Your mother and father are already dealing with one willful child, and they may see more pressure — even from a responsible, loving and supportive daughter — as unwelcome. You can plant a seed, but you can't get them to water it. In the meantime, act as an invisible gatekeeper. If your brother plans to visit your parents, organize a trip for yourself at the same time. Make sure your parents' mobile phones are secure and that they don't leave passwords or important documents lying around. Make sure their will (and copies of it) are kept in a safe place, in addition to at their lawyer's office. Stay vigilant. If you suspect that your brother is engaging in elder abuse — emotional, physical, psychological or financial — you can report his actions to adult protective services, or call 911 and local law-enforcement authorities or your district attorney's office. But even if you did report this $100,000 theft, it sounds like your mother would not press charges. Call and visit as often as you can. They will need oversight. Related: My friend, 83, wants to add me to his bank account to pay his bills. What could go wrong? Previous columns by Quentin Fottrell: 'She acted as a mother to me growing up': My stepmother remarried after my father died. How can I claim my inheritance? 'My wife and I are very grateful': Our son wants to pay off our mortgage before we retire. Will this backfire? 'Is this ethical?' I want to leave my home to my children from my first marriage — and not to my second husband. How can I buy my niece a home in her name only — without alienating or upsetting her husband? 20 banks expected to increase their dividends the most following the Fed's stress tests My wife and I have $7,000 in pensions, $140,000 in cash, plus Social Security. Can we afford to retire? The vanishing 'Buffett premium': Has Berkshire Hathaway lost the Oracle of Omaha's aura? There's an important market indicator that suggests investors remain wary. It's good news for stocks.
Yahoo
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
'We've openly chatted about it': Sophie Ellis-Bextor on how she spoke to her sons about Netflix's Adolescence
When Netflix's Adolescence arrived on our screens in March, it got the whole nation talking – and that includes singer and Kitchen Disco icon Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Starring on Good Housekeeping's August cover, she shared how it was useful to bring into discussion with her sons, as well as how important it is to talk about toxic masculinity. Sophie, who is mum to Sonny, 21, Kit, 16, Ray, 13, Jesse, nine, and Mickey, six, explained: 'Aspects of it were brilliant to bring into the discussion, but I've always had a lot of faith in my boys. We've openly chatted about toxic masculinity for a long time. 'My eldest is very articulate about these things, so none of it was new to my house. Sometimes people have an idea of what boys are like, as if they're a different species,' she added. As far as I'm concerned, I'm raising five people who happen to be boys. She also addressed the issue of mobile phones and screen time, explaining that, in her house, it's a conversation rather than a set of rules about what they can and can't do. 'I keep an eye on it, because that's parenting, but if you start demonising things, you shut down communication,' she says. 'Then you're like those parents in the 1950s who made kids burn their rock 'n' roll albums.' As for housework, she explained that the boys help out around the house and revealed that, with food being a big part of family life, they're quite handy in the kitchen. 'My intention is that they should all leave home being able to cook and dance,' she says. 'The key skills.' Fans may remember that Sophie's boys joined her on her Instagram Live Kitchen Discos during the Covid lockdowns, which became a real family affair. 'The Kitchen Discos were very relaxed for them," Sophie says. 'I'd say, 'Oh, we're doing another one on Friday if you fancy it?' "And some weeks they might say, 'I'm not doing it,' then, with five minutes to go, they'd come downstairs in a crazy outfit." Sometimes they were dressed as superheroes, sometimes as animals, sometimes they were outside on the trampoline, sometimes clinging to her leg. Music, she mused, is just part of life at home. 'We always have music on, and all the stuff was in our kitchen already: disco balls, sequin bunting, smoke machine, laser machine…' Something tells us life in the Ellis-Bextor-Jones family is rather fun. Read the full interview in Good Housekeeping UK's August issue, on sale now. Sophie's album, Perimenopop, is released on 12th September. Visit to win tickets to Sophie's album launch show at London KOKO on 8th September. You Might Also Like The anti-ageing wonder ingredient you're missing in your skincare routine 15 dresses perfect for a summer wedding 6 items our fashion team always take on a beach holiday
Yahoo
3 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
15 Lifelong Insecurities You're Carrying From Having Critical Parents
Growing up, we all have our fair share of family dynamics that have sculpted us into the individuals we are today. But if your parents leaned more on the critical side, those formative years might have left you with lingering insecurities that follow you into adulthood. Navigating life with a constant inner critic can feel like an uphill battle. Here are 15 lifelong insecurities that may resonate a little too well if you had critical parents. That relentless pursuit of perfection isn't just a quirky personality trait—it's a constant shadow looming over you. Your parents might've pointed out the 99% on your test rather than praising the A-grade. This unyielding expectation to always "do better" has left you in a perpetual state of dissatisfaction with your achievements. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula, constantly seeking validation from others can lead to chronic feelings of inadequacy. The inner voice that scolds you for not being enough is never silenced. It questions every decision and accomplishment, leading you to seek external validation as a metric of self-worth. Even as an adult, you find yourself wondering if your achievements are truly deserving of praise. It's exhausting to live under the microscope of an upbringing that demanded impossible standards. Fear becomes a close companion when you're conditioned to view failure as catastrophic. Growing up, failure wasn't an option but rather an indictment of character, and that belief has lingered with you. This manifests as a paralyzing fear that prevents you from taking risks or trying new things. You're stuck in a loop, avoiding potential failures at all costs. The dread of falling short stifles your creativity and ambition. Opportunities slip through your fingers because you second-guess your abilities and potential for success. Even minor setbacks can trigger spiraling thoughts of defeat. It's a tiring cycle that keeps you from embracing life's full potential. With critical parents, you learned to question the sincerity of praise and affection. This skepticism often extends to relationships, where trusting others feels like stepping onto shaky ground. You question motives and brace yourself for criticism, even when it's not there. The Journal of Family Psychology found that parental criticism is linked to lower levels of trust and intimacy in adult relationships. This lack of trust isn't limited to romantic partners; it infiltrates friendships and work dynamics, too. Every compliment is met with suspicion, and every critique feels personal. You struggle to take feedback constructively, often perceiving it as an attack rather than guidance. It's a defensive mechanism that leaves you isolated in your fortress of doubt. The need for approval becomes an overwhelming drive when your childhood was filled with judgmental scrutiny. You're on a never-ending quest for others' validation to fill the void left by critical parents. This neediness affects how you interact with peers and colleagues, often making you go above and beyond to win their favor. It's like performing a never-ending juggling act to keep everyone happy. Unfortunately, this drive for approval can lead you to compromise your own needs and values. You might find yourself saying yes to things you don't want to do, just to avoid disapproval. The fear of letting others down becomes a guiding force, even at the expense of your well-being. It's a tug-of-war between wanting acceptance and losing yourself in the process. When praise felt conditional or insincere growing up, accepting compliments as an adult becomes an awkward ordeal. Compliments often feel like setups for future criticism, so you deflect them or downplay your achievements. This insecurity can make social interactions uncomfortable, as you struggle to accept the good without anticipating the bad. Dr. Christine Moutier's research indicates that people with a history of critical parenting might have a hard time internalizing positive feedback, leading to diminished self-esteem. Even when recognition is earned, you feel undeserving. Compliments bounce off you, leaving a residue of self-doubt rather than confidence. Instead of embracing the praise, you search for hidden motives or assume it's misplaced. This hinders your self-growth, as genuine recognition is lost in translation. It's as if every conversation is recorded, analyzed, and critiqued in your mind long after it's over. You dissect every word and gesture, convinced that you've said something wrong, thanks to a childhood filled with constant correction. This over-analysis turns simple interactions into mental marathons of self-doubt and anxiety. You're left exhausted, replaying scenarios in your head to catch what you might have missed. This overthinking becomes all-consuming, affecting your ability to relax and be present. Social situations become minefields of potential embarrassment or criticism. The idea of just letting things be feels foreign, as your mind races to connect invisible dots. It's a draining habit that keeps you on edge, even when there's no real reason to be. In the absence of nurturing and understanding, self-compassion becomes a concept that's difficult to grasp. Your internal dialogue mimics the critical voices of your past, leaving little room for kindness towards yourself. Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, found that individuals who lacked parental warmth tend to have lower self-compassion levels, making it challenging to forgive themselves for mistakes. This lack of self-kindness makes it hard to bounce back from setbacks. Instead of comforting yourself, you berate your mistakes and shortcomings. The harsh self-talk that was once external has become internalized, making it difficult to treat yourself with the understanding you readily offer others. It's a battle to find peace within when your harshest critic resides in your own mind. Growing up with a critical lens on yourself often translates into having the same lens on others. You may find yourself nitpicking at friends, partners, or colleagues, holding them to impossibly high standards. This cycle of criticism is a learned behavior that repeats itself, as you project your own insecurities onto those around you. You become the critic, perpetuating the cycle that kept you in its grip for so long. This habit strains relationships, as people feel judged and undervalued. It's challenging for you to accept imperfections in others when you struggle to accept them in yourself. Instead of fostering connection, your critical nature builds walls that keep people at a distance. It's a learned defensiveness that pushes away the very support network you crave. Establishing boundaries is a daunting task when you've been conditioned to constantly seek approval. You have trouble saying no, fearing that it will lead to criticism or rejection. Your inclination to please others overrides your own needs, leaving you feeling depleted and resentful. Boundaries, to you, feel like acts of defiance rather than self-care. This lack of boundaries leads to burnout, as you take on more than you can handle. You struggle to prioritize your own well-being, fearing the consequences of standing your ground. It's a cycle that leaves you feeling unappreciated and overextended. Only by learning to assert your needs can you find the balance you desperately need. The constant anticipation of criticism breeds a pessimistic outlook on life. You brace yourself for failure and disappointment, convinced that things will go wrong. This expectation of the worst infects your decisions and relationships, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You're unable to relax and enjoy moments of peace because you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. This heightened sense of vigilance is exhausting, keeping you on high alert for signs of disaster. Joyful moments are clouded by the anticipation of backlash or negativity. The inability to embrace positivity leaves you stuck in a cycle of anxiety and dread. It's a taxing mindset that robs you of happiness and peace. When love was conditional on your performance or behavior, you learned to equate worthiness with perfection. This belief persists into adulthood, making it difficult to accept love from others. You question the sincerity of affection, convinced that it will be withdrawn when you make mistakes. Love, to you, is something to be earned, not freely given. This mindset leads to self-sabotage in relationships, as you push people away before they can reject you. You doubt your partner's intentions, waiting for the inevitable moment of disappointment. It's a lonely existence, as you struggle to believe that you are deserving of love just as you are. Only by challenging these ingrained beliefs can you begin to embrace genuine, unconditional love. Initiative feels risky when every move was scrutinized and criticized growing up. You hesitate to take charge, fearing negative outcomes and harsh judgments. This reluctance stifles your potential, as you hold back from opportunities that could lead to growth and fulfillment. You find yourself waiting for permission or approval that never comes. This fear of stepping up keeps you in the shadows, overshadowed by those more willing to take risks. You miss chances to showcase your talents and strengths, overshadowed by your own insecurities. It's a self-imposed barrier that limits your success and satisfaction. Only by challenging this fear can you break free from the constraints of your past. Decision-making becomes an agonizing process when you're haunted by the fear of choosing incorrectly. Every choice feels monumental, with the potential for criticism looming over you. This indecision leads to second-guessing and anxiety, as you weigh every possible outcome. You're paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, leading to procrastination and missed opportunities. This hesitation extends to both minor and major life decisions, leaving you feeling stuck. The pressure to make the "right" choice becomes overwhelming, overshadowing the freedom of making mistakes and learning from them. It's a paralyzing fear that keeps you on the sidelines of your own life. Only by embracing the possibility of failure can you unlock the courage to make decisions confidently. Perfectionism can become a shield against criticism, a way to preemptively protect yourself from judgment. You strive for flawlessness in an attempt to avoid the harsh scrutiny you grew up with. This obsessive attention to detail and excellence comes at the cost of your mental health and well-being. It's a defense mechanism that leaves you perpetually exhausted and on edge. While aiming for perfection, you neglect the importance of mistakes and growth. The pressure to always excel leaves little room for self-compassion or understanding. It's a relentless pursuit that comes at the cost of your happiness and peace of mind. By redefining your relationship with perfection, you can begin to break free from its suffocating grip. Growing up with critical parents often means grappling with an unclear sense of self. Your identity was shaped by their expectations, making it difficult to understand who you truly are. This struggle leads to confusion and uncertainty in your values, beliefs, and goals. You find yourself questioning what you genuinely want versus what was imposed upon you. This lack of self-identity affects your confidence and decision-making. You may feel like a chameleon, constantly adapting to please others rather than staying true to yourself. It's a disorienting feeling, as you search for your own voice amidst the echoes of criticism. Only by exploring your authentic desires and values can you begin to forge a strong, independent identity.
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
MIL Has an Outburst When She Can't Give Toddler Soda—Here's Why I Empathize With Her
Here's one lesson I learned quickly after I agreed to let my in-laws be our daughter's primary caretakers while my partner and I worked in the first years of her life: Grandma's house, Grandma's rules. We were lucky: When we asked them to limit her sugar intake and avoid screen time, they dutifully listened—but yes, the occasional package of fruit snacks or episode of Paw Patrol slipped past our carefully erected boundaries. For the most part, we chose to not fight those battles—especially because we're getting all that child care for free. Look, I know that's a hard pill to swallow, and I know that not everyone will agree. I see the other side of the coin, too: Parents should have the final say in what their kid eats, watches, and experiences. Personally, I never saw the harm in my daughter enjoying the occasional processed snack so I didn't intervene. But as I recently discovered on Reddit, not all parents take my un-intrusive stance. On Reddit, a mom recounted a recent incident that quickly escalated: While attending a party, the mom in question hoped to keep her 19 month old child awake in order to maintain her regular nap and sleep schedule. Her mother-in-law offered her grandchild a carbonated lemonade flavored drink, the parents objected, and that's where the interaction really went off the trails. 'MIL then spouted off a tirade about how I was so bossy, strict and soda wasn't going to hurt her,' OP wrote. 'This went on until she eventually called me a bad mom …she then told my partner (of 12 years) that he should leave me as I would run their lives forever.' This probably won't be a popular opinion either, but I have sympathy for the grandmother in the situation. Parenting advice has changed so much in even the last two decades that folks from older generations who raised seemingly healthy kids might feel left behind, embarrassed by their outdated opinions, or defensive of their own parenting choices. Now, did she very clearly overreact? Yes, absolutely. But she probably genuinely didn't think it would harm her granddaughter at all, and felt attacked when her kids rejected what she considered a well-meaning idea. At the end of the day, if you don't want your kid to have lemonade, that's your call, full stop. Parents shouldn't compromise the values they truly believe in even to appease the pushiest grandparent. And grandparents should accept that boundary with grace, even if it's not the choice they would make. 'You're the parent, you decide. End of discussion,' as one person put it in the comments. But I also think, from my own first-hand experience, and from reading Reddit pretty much daily for this very job, that parents and grandparents often find themselves locked in a battle of wills, and the disrespect runs both ways. One commenter wrote, 'I hope OP realizes it isn't about the drink, it's about control,' and that's spot on. Except that the parents themselves are fighting for control too, especially in those early years. The thing is, in parenting control is an illusion. You try to keep out fruit snacks and lemonade for as long as you can and then one day a school friend introduces your kid to Roblox and Ed Sheeran and suddenly you're arguing with her about why she can't quit the soccer team. So I understand why these parents latched on to the lemonade as a way to exert their sense of control over how they are raising their kid, while they still can. But it might benefit both parents and grandparents to adopt a more flexible, open-minded attitude and to perhaps choose more wisely when it comes to what battles are really worth fighting. There's a good chance you and your kid will disagree for longer than you think about everything from what they eat to who they date. You might want to consider saving your energy. Read the original article on Parents
