Latest news with #filialpiety
Independent Singapore
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Independent Singapore
Is filial piety ever enough? Comic strip on 'Why I gave up on my mother' goes viral
SINGAPORE: A recent comic strip about the limits of filial piety from The Woke Salaryman has garnered significant attention online, not just from Singaporeans but also from other Asians. This should come as no surprise, given that respect and reverence for elders is one of the key values in this part of the world. Captioned 'Is filial piety ever enough?' and based on a person's real-life experiences, the comic strip is about the relationship between a woman and her mother, who, although she was capable of being affectionate at times, also had a dark side that caused her to mistreat her daughter. Screenshot For example, her mum threw a phone at her when she behaved naughtily when she was seven years old, although she claimed it was an accident, and when she was 15, her mum kicked her out in the middle of the night. When she started working, her mum made her give her half of her salary, as well as pay for all their utility bills and mortgage payments, which meant the woman had very little to show for it after working for 10 years. One day, after a particularly difficult fight between them, the woman finally left their home. When she realized how badly her mother had been treating her, continuing to harass her even at work, she filed a Personal Protection Order. Although she built a new life for herself, she said she still loves her mum and tries to understand why she treated her so badly. However, she wrote that she can't forgive her mother quite yet. 'Am I unfilial? Depending on who you ask, the answer might be yes. I grew up in a society where filial piety was seen as a virtue,' she wrote, adding that while this used to bother her, she has come to realize that relationships are a two-way street. 'Mak, maybe I am a bad daughter like you always said, but I'd rather be a bad daughter for now if it means I can get my life back at the end,' she wrote. The post has since been viewed, liked, and shared on Facebook and Instagram thousands of times, and netizens have not held back on commenting as well, suggesting that the strip has struck a chord with so many. 'Thanks for this. Seen too many people passing empty platitudes of 'you only have 1 mother/father' when they should be feeling gratitude that their parents are good,' wrote a Facebook user. 'I feel this.. no matter how hard I try to satisfy my mom, to give in to all of her demands — it is still not enough. My dad knows this, even my close relatives too — but all they can say is 'sabarlah' (be patient)… When I had my daughter, I swore that she would never experience all those gaslighting,' a woman chimed in. 'You cannot love and hug a roll of barbed wire,' another commented. The Independent Singapore has reached out to The Woke Salaryman for further comments. /TISG Read also: Xishan Primary School says boy was assaulted by his own sibling after mother makes police report about bullying
Malay Mail
08-07-2025
- Health
- Malay Mail
This is for you, too — Ng Yi Xuan
JULY 8 — 'What if your elderly mother fell in her bedroom, or the bathroom, and no one found out until hours later?' Yes, it's a painful scenario, but one that happens far too often in Malaysia. Whether in care homes or living alone, many older adults face real safety risks due to limited monitoring and delayed response. While our culture emphasises filial piety and respect for elders, the reality is that as more Malaysians live and work in cities, many ageing parents are left behind or placed in increasingly crowded care facilities. According to the Department of Statistics Malaysia, the country is expected to become an aged nation by 2044, with 14 per cent of the population aged 65 and above. That might seem distant, but the effects are already here. The number of elderly citizens is growing steadily, and with that comes a rising demand for healthcare, personal assistance, and institutional care. More and more families are struggling to balance work responsibilities with caring for ageing parents or grandparents, while hospitals and care homes are becoming overstretched. Yet within this demographic challenge lies an opportunity: one that calls for empathy, innovation, and collaboration. As a biomedical engineering student, I believe we must approach this issue not just as a healthcare concern, but as a matter of dignity and human rights. This is where technology, specifically sensor-based solutions, can quietly and respectfully make a difference. In the Problem-Based Learning (PBL) project of our elective course, my team and I proposed a sensor-based system designed specifically for elderly care homes. Our goal was to detect critical events such as falls or irregular activity patterns, and to alert caregivers instantly. We wanted to offer a way to reduce silent suffering and give caregivers a tool to act faster and more efficiently, without invading the elderly's privacy or sense of autonomy. Many older Asian adults fear becoming a burden. They value their independence and routine. By integrating sensors subtly into everyday environments, we can help them maintain those values while still offering families and care workers peace of mind. A fall detected within seconds can make the difference between recovery and long-term injury. Irregular movement patterns could indicate early signs of cognitive decline. These small insights could save lives. The sensors we proposed are non-invasive, meaning they do not require the person to wear a specialised device or be constantly under video surveillance. Instead, they track motion, heart rate, or pressure to help identify risky situations like someone getting out of bed at night and not returning, or a sudden loss of movement that might indicate a fall. These infrared- or Bluetooth-based systems can be embedded subtly into furniture or walls, making them invisible companions in daily life. More than just technical skills, this PBL project deepened my understanding of what it means to grow old in Malaysia. Many of us assume that elders will always have someone there to look after them. But not everyone has that support — and even those who do may still face risks when left alone. The question we asked ourselves throughout this project was: How can we help elderly Malaysians live safely, without losing their sense of independence? This experience reshaped how I view my role as a biomedical engineer. It is not just about circuits, codes, or clinical tools. It is about empathy-driven innovation. It is about creating technology that responds to real needs, especially among vulnerable populations like the elderly. As I look ahead to my future career, I now see biomedical engineering not only as a technical field, but as a social one. One where engineers must walk hand-in-hand with caregivers, healthcare workers, and families to build solutions that work for people — not just in theory, but in everyday life. An older adult woman reads the menu at a community food center, part of the Family Attention System (SAF), in Havana, on May 26, 2025. — AFP We often talk about 'smart cities' and 'digital futures,' but if we forget our elderly in these conversations, then we have missed the point entirely. Growing old is a natural part of life. But the experience of ageing should not be defined by fear, neglect, or silence. It should be marked by safety, respect, and dignity. So, here is my hope: that as Malaysia steps forward into its ageing future, we also step up — students, engineers, policymakers, and citizens — to ensure that no one is left behind. We must invest in elder-friendly technologies, support care infrastructure, and most importantly, talk openly about what it means to age with grace. After all, we are not just building tools for someone else's parents or grandparents. One day, it will be us. * Ng Yi Xuan is a final year biomedical engineering student at Faculty of Engineering, Universiti Malaya. She can be contacted at [email protected] ** This is the personal opinion of the writer or publication and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
Independent Singapore
04-07-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
Woman shares retired parents keep footing her grocery bill — now she feels 'awkward' as they keep bringing it up
SINGAPORE: A woman recently opened up online about her complicated feelings after her retired parents began casually mentioning how much they've been spending on groceries for her household. While they've repeatedly said they aren't expecting repayment, the comments have left her feeling awkward and unsure how to respond. In a post on r/askSingapore, she explained that money was always a major topic growing up. Her dad was extremely careful with spending. Every cent was tracked, and every expense was accounted for. She and her siblings did well in school, so most of their education was funded through scholarships. Still, when one of them needed to borrow money from their dad, he made sure the amount was fully repaid once that sibling started working. The woman also mentioned that her parents often reminded them how much it had cost to raise them. 'There was a lot of talk about how much it cost for our parents to bring us up, their sacrifice, etc.; typical Chinese filial piety brainwashing stuff, I suppose,' she said. 'If my parents spent money on a bigger ticket item for us, they would talk about it a lot to 'make us appreciate it.' Especially my dad, maybe because he was very poor growing up and was not accustomed to spending.' Fast forward to the present, and the financial dynamic has shifted. She is now a high-income earner, married with children. Her parents, although retired, are financially independent and no longer have to worry about money. They aren't flashy spenders, but they live comfortably. As part of helping out, her parents have been buying groceries for her and her husband around two to three times a month. While the amount spent isn't small, she said that from her perspective, it didn't seem like a huge deal, so she never felt the need to offer to pay them back. However, recently, she noticed that her parents kept bringing this up. Not in a direct or confrontational way, and not as a request for money, but just as a passing comment about how much they had spent at the supermarket or how groceries are getting expensive. While they were quick to say they weren't expecting anything in return, the fact that it kept coming up made her feel slightly uncomfortable. 'I can't help but feel rather awkward about this,' she wrote. 'By the way, I treat them to meals often. I just don't track how much I spend on them and, likewise, how much they spend on me. I have children now, and my parenting philosophy towards money is quite different from how I was brought up. I'm having very complex feelings about this situation.' She ended her post by asking others how they would interpret this kind of situation. 'Can anyone help me unpack these feelings? Is there anyone who can explain my parents' POV?' she wrote. 'Things are getting expensive outside, so you could start by offering to pay or getting your own groceries?' The post quickly gained traction on the platform, and many users were not impressed with the woman's attitude. Some felt it was pretty entitled of her to let her retired parents keep buying groceries without offering to pay, despite knowing how frugal they had been all their lives. Others said it was strange that she understood her parents' values so well, having grown up under their strict money management, yet didn't think twice about letting them cover household expenses. One user said, 'Hmm… High-income earner, but comes here to complain about parents asking for money to buy groceries. Just get your own next time lah. NTUC (National Trades Union Congress) does delivery.' Another told her, 'Why do your parents buy groceries for you? LOL like they should be enjoying retirement, not be some part-time aminah, and if you ask them for help and they are willing, you can't even pay for your own groceries for a family of 4 or more using your parents' savings? Treating meals is your own accord. It shouldn't be a trade-off kind of thing, a.k.a. Because I treat them meals, they should buy groceries for me and use their own money.' A third commented, 'It's not a big sum to you, but for how they've lived like 90% of their life, it is a big sum to them. Things are getting expensive outside, so you could start by offering to pay or getting your own groceries?' In other news, a 20-year-old woman has alleged that her parents threatened to report her to the police for 'theft' after she moved out with a phone and a laptop that they had previously purchased for her. In a Reddit post published on Wednesday (July 2), the woman stated that she had recently left her family home and did not intend to return. She brought with her a phone and a laptop, which had either been gifted to her or bought for her by her parents when she was still residing with them. According to her, these items had long been treated as her personal belongings. Read more: 20 yo woman says parents accused her of 'theft' after she moved out with gifted phone and laptop Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
South China Morning Post
21-06-2025
- General
- South China Morning Post
Giving up seats to elderly should be an easy decision in China
Chinese civilisation is deeply rooted in the virtues of sympathy, respect and love towards the elderly. For instance, Confucian teachings promote the idea that filial piety is the root of virtue and place great emphasis on the moral duty of the younger generation to care for and honour their elders. This long-standing cultural ideal has helped shape familial relationships and defined broader societal norms. Needless to say, there are numerous examples of preserving filial piety. Yet in today's fast-paced and increasingly individualistic society, these values are too often forgotten or neglected. Two recent videos have gone viral on Chinese social media and reignited public debate about the possible erosion of moral values in China. In the first video, an elderly woman asked a young woman to vacate a courtesy seat on a subway. Rather than showing empathy or understanding, several nearby young passengers criticised the elderly woman, claiming she should avoid public transport during rush hour altogether because young people need to have a seat to rest after a day's hard work. The situation became even more distressing when the young woman refused to move. This prompted the elderly woman to attempt to sit on the young woman before the latter pushed her away. In the second incident, an 83-year-old man leaning on a cane asked a young man to give up his seat on a crowded train. The young man refused. In a moment of exasperation, the elderly man reached out and pulled at the youth's arm, leading to a verbal confrontation. Their argument quickly escalated, drawing the attention of other passengers and raising questions about boundaries, entitlement and basic decency. In response to this incident, staff at the subway authority in Shanghai offered little in the way of guidance on how such situations could be avoided in the future.
Independent Singapore
16-06-2025
- General
- Independent Singapore
Daughter says her mum and sibling pushed her to give 10% of her salary to her estranged dad, who brought her ‘so much trauma' for the sake of filial piety
SINGAPORE: A daughter took to social media to share that she has been handing over 10 per cent of her monthly salary to her estranged father because her mother and sibling insisted she do so in the name of 'filial piety.' Writing on the r/askSingapore subreddit, she explained that her parents only divorced when she was about to graduate from university. However, long before the separation, her father had already distanced himself from the family in more ways than one. She said he struggled with gambling addictions involving 4D and Toto. At the same time, her mother shouldered the financial burden of paying off his debts and supporting both children throughout their university education. She also shared how deeply her father's actions had affected her emotionally over the years. 'He brought me so much trauma,' she wrote. 'He worked as a private hire driver for a good eight years throughout my schooling days, and while I see my peers having their parents willingly ferrying them to and fro school, the few times my dad did so voluntarily (after CCA at night, say around 8 to 9 p.m.), he would curse me out throughout the entire 40 minutes ride home, complaining about how late my school ended. I begged him to stop picking me up after.' Despite her father's lack of emotional and financial support over the years, her mother and sibling still felt she had a responsibility to give him a portion of her income once she began working. Feeling obligated, she went along with the arrangement, but in time, she noticed that her father began to expect the money every month, even confronting her if he thought the amount was short. Two years on, she now finds herself questioning the arrangement. 'I've been thinking if it's really necessary, since he has essentially contributed nothing (financially, emotionally) to my life growing up? I'd rather give the 10% to my mum on top of what I've been giving her.' Turning to the online community for advice, she asked, 'Those who grew up in dysfunctional families, do you give your parents money? Keen to hear from those in similar divorced family situations.' 'When you get older/wiser, be the bigger person and move on (with) your life…' Many Singaporeans related to her situation and shared that they too struggled with the idea of financially supporting parents who had been emotionally absent or unsupportive during their childhood. One person wrote, 'My dad has always been irresponsible with money. He didn't contribute to my education or provide financial support, and he has even borrowed money from my mom and me without ever paying it back, so no, I don't give him any money. I do, however, give my mom a monthly allowance.' Another commented, 'I didn't give either side money. I don't need to justify to others why I don't give them money. If there's really a need to, I'll just say that I'm reserving my savings to better the next generation, rather than to fix/upkeep the previous generation.' A third shared, 'Parents divorced, I don't give to either parent. Your money and your life, and since you had a bad parent, you're not in any way wrong to skip giving him money. He can go earn his own money.' That said, not everyone felt the same way. Some said they continue to give their parents an allowance, even though their upbringing had been far from ideal. One wrote, 'Yes. As the only child, I'll just play my part as a son. When you get older/wiser, be the bigger person and move on (with) your life. You can't choose your parent.' In other news, a woman renting a dual-key studio apartment turned to Reddit to express her frustrations about a 'weird and demanding' neighbour who, she says, has repeatedly overstepped boundaries and disrupted her peace at home. Writing on r/askSingapore, she said the trouble started on the very day her neighbour, a middle-aged Chinese woman with a chihuahua, moved into the adjoining unit. Read more: 'How do I make her stop?' — Woman says her neighbour is 'weird and demanding,' but she struggles to say no to their demands Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
