Latest news with #lifeSkills
Yahoo
07-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Studies Show That One Key Skill Is Vital To Keeping Teens Safe — & Schools Aren't Teaching It
Why do kids go through 12+ years of school, and leave without a basic grasp of valuable life skills? How to do taxes, how to get better sleep, or what options exist out of the traditional post-graduation pathways are often ignored in the education system. And one skill that most teens severely lack is critical to their well-being and safety: how to make decision. As an adult, it sounds like common sense, but for teens, it's definitely not. We've all known (or been!) teens that do incredibly dumb or dangerous things just because it sounds cool or fun, right? Sure, you might think that teens are capable of decision-making. They know what extracurriculars they like, they have to pick a college major or career, and they know what kind of music, movies, books, and fashion that they like. But when it comes to actually thinking through their actions, weighing risks, and pausing before acting, teens could use a lot more assistance than they're actually getting. More from SheKnows 7 Ways to Make Your Divorce Easier for Your Kid - Straight From Teens Who Lived It The leading cause of death for teens include suicide, overdosing, car accidents, and shooting, which all 'stem from terrible decision-making — impulsive, in-the-moment choices with permanent and devastating consequences,' according to Katie Hill, executive director of the University of Chicago Crime Lab, in an article for The Brookings Institution. She wrote that at the Crime Lab, cognitive behavioral intervention programs that teach kids about decision-making and allow them to practice these skills has shown 'a 40-50 percent decrease in their likelihood of involvement in violence,' according to research. And similar programs throughout the country have had similar results. Dr. Jeff Temple, PhD, psychologist and Associate Dean for Clinical Research at the School Behavioral Health Sciences at UTHealth Houston, has seen similar results at The Center for Violence Prevention, which he leads. The Center conducts research to prevent violence, to train schools, communities, and policymakers, and to serve as a resource for best practices. Dr. Temple tells SheKnows that teaching teens strategies to develop 'healthy relationship skills, emotion regulation, and decision making' can be taught. 'At UTHealth Houston, my team and I found that not only can these skills be taught, but learning them results in reduced violence, substance use, and other risky behavior among middle and high school-aged students,' he explains. 'To be effective, programs must move away from telling teens what not to do and instead give teens opportunities to think through real-life scenarios, talk about emotions, weigh options, and practice responding to tough situations,' he continues. 'Teen brains are still developing — especially the parts involved in planning, impulse control, and long-term thinking,' Dr. Temple says. 'At the same time, the emotional and reward-seeking parts of adolescent brains are super active. That means teens are more likely to act quickly, especially in emotionally charged or high-pressure situations.' Mix in peer influence, which is incredibly powerful during adolescence, and it's easy to see why even really smart, thoughtful teens can make poor decisions in the heat of the moment. Amber Monroe, LMFT, at Healing Balance Therapy Inc., tells SheKnows that a teen's brain is 'wired to prioritize short-term rewards (like fitting in or feeling a rush) over long-term outcomes.' And if your teen has 'underdeveloped coping strategies or unresolved trauma,' she says, it makes them even more likely to 'make a snap decision that doesn't serve them in the long run.' Add in the rise of social media influence and the lack of independence parents give their kids, like Jonathan Haidt wrote about in The Anxious Generation, then you have a recipe for disaster. Decision-making is 'a mental safety net' for teens, according to Monroe. 'It helps teens pause, assess risks, and choose actions that align with their well-being,' she says. 'When teens can think critically before reacting, they're less likely to engage in impulsive behaviors like substance use, reckless driving, or violent outbursts.' Teaching teens how to make decisions will help protect them physically and emotionally, says Monroe. This might look like empowering teens to 'navigate peer pressure, set boundaries, and recognize when a situation 'feels off' before it escalates.' She explains, 'This includes learning to say no to friends or love interests who may pressure them into unsafe environments — something that doesn't come naturally with teens who are at a stage where peer validation and acceptance are so important.' Parents can teach their kids good decision-making skills by modeling this behavior themselves. 'By slowing down, considering consequences, and making choices that align with their values and goals, teens (and all of us) are much less likely to end up in situations involving violence, substance use, or unhealthy relationships,' Dr. Temple says. 'It's a skill that really underpins so much of our safety and well-being, particularly during the storm and stress of adolescence.' Like many important conversations with teens, talking to them about healthy decision-making is not a 'one-and-done' experience. 'Teaching good decision-making looks more like modeling and guiding than lecturing,' Monroe explains. 'It involves helping teens learn how to slow down their reactions, name what they're feeling, and consider possible outcomes.' You could ask open-ended questions such as, 'What do you think might happen if you choose that?' or 'What are the pros and cons here?' If they've already made a poor decision, then you can help them process that by debriefing. 'Avoid shaming and instead, ask curiosity questions: 'What would you do differently next time? How did that decision align with your values?'' Monroe suggests. 'Over time, these small nudges help teens build internal dialogue and emotional awareness, which are key to better decision-making.' Do your best to ensure your home environment is a place where mistakes aren't punished, but instead, are met with curiosity, according to Monroe. And try to create opportunities for your teen to practice with these tips: 'Start small by giving them controlled autonomy in low-stakes situations, like planning a family meal or managing a weekly budget,' Monroe suggests, as this will give them a chance 'to weigh options and experience natural consequences without high pressure.' 'Encourage them to build 'pause buttons' into their thinking—simple phrases like 'I need time to decide' or 'Let me think this through' can help slow down impulsive reactions,' she says. (My dad always said if he had to answer now, without time to think, then the answer was always going to be no.) 'When mistakes happen (and they will!), resist the urge to rescue them immediately,' Monroe explains. She suggests guiding your teen with curiosity instead by asking: 'What did this teach you? How might you handle it differently next time?' 'Normalize uncertainty, too — teens often fear making the 'wrong' choice, so remind them that uncertainty is part of life and that their instincts matter,' she says. 'Most importantly, acknowledge and celebrate their thoughtful decisions, no matter how small,' Monroe says. 'A comment like 'I noticed how you stepped back from that argument — that showed real self-control' reinforces positive habits. Over time, these everyday practices help teens trust their judgment and build resilience, turning decision-making into a skill they carry confidently into adulthood.' It might be challenging to model this calm decision-making behavior or to have these non-judgmental conversations with your teens, and that's OK. It takes practice for parents, too! 'It's important to recognize that while this sounds great in theory, it can be incredibly difficult in practice — especially for parents who grew up in homes where discipline, fear, or emotional disconnection were the norm,' Monroe reassures us. 'If a parent was taught to equate obedience with safety, they may instinctively react with control or criticism when their teen makes a misstep, even if their intention is to protect.' If you are triggered in the heat of the moment, it's OK. Monroe says this doesn't mean you are failing; it just means that there is healing work that needs to be done. (Read that sentence again as many times as you need to until you believe it!) 'Getting your own support, whether through therapy, peer groups, or self-reflection, can make it easier to pause your reactions and stay attuned to your child,' Monroe says. 'Parenting a teenager often stirs up unresolved experiences from our own adolescence,' she adds. 'When we understand that, we gain more capacity to break the cycle and offer our kids what we may not have received ourselves.' 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Irish Times
04-07-2025
- Business
- Irish Times
A parent's guide to raising money-smart kids: from pocket money to supermarket lessons
Getting children to mind their money can be more like teaching them to wrestle an octopus into an onion bag than riding a bike – it's almost impossible, endlessly frustrating and sometimes seemingly pointless. But despite the challenges it poses, it's very important because learning how to manage money in a way that is measured without being mean is a lesson that might endure if done right The first question is when to start the lessons in lolly? On the one hand, parents can be forgiven for wanting to protect their children from the crass and cold world of commerce for as long as possible. READ MORE They will, after all, spend enough time worrying about money and where it's coming from without having to start stressing before they go into senior infants. But on the other hand, the longer we shield our little ones from the financial realities of the world, the harder it will be for them to develop an essential life skill. In fact learning to manage money, is at least four life skills bundled into one. It teaches children prudence, responsibility, delayed gratification and self-discipline. While there is no definitive starting age – all children are different – the commonly accepted wisdom is that young ones are ready for some money lessons from the age of four when counting is central to their lives. The key thing is easy does it though. You are not looking to make you child a Nobel Prize winning economist or burden them with your own woes. You just want to teach basic numeracy and how to make decisions as to how and when they should spend whatever money they have. Choosing the right piggy bank Piggy banks are an excellent idea when introducing the notion of money but do make sure to pick one that is transparent so your child can watch the money they put into it grow. It is also important to teach them the concept of the future them. This can be tricky as children tend to live in the moment but a fun way of locking in the concept of saving is a chart broken into small denominations which they can colour as the coins build up to set amount. This teaches them about saving, about counting, about bar charts and about colouring so what's not to love about that? Lessons at the supermarket When shopping in supermarkets make them aware of labels and how to compare prices and choose the cheaper alternatives or the ones that are on promotion. If they are a little bit older, it is no harm to show them how unit prices can paint a very different picture of the actual cost of a product than the shelf price that many companies are happy to shout about. Although in fairness, many adults could do with learning this lesson too. One other very important lesson a child should learn as early as possible is the difference between window shopping and actual shopping. Window-shopping vs Actual shopping They need to learn that just because they walk past the Disney store on Dublin's Grafton Street, does not mean they are going to walk through its doors and buy some eye-wateringly expensive cuddly toy every single time. The way to explain this is to highlight the difference between buying days and looking days. And before they go anywhere near the shops they need to know that 'today is a looking day'. Once they accept that it makes temptation easier to resist. How should I handle pocket money? Another tool in a parents armoury is pocket money. Not along ago, this writer took part in a debate on these pages about the merits of pocket money and for the sake of the argument sided against it, However, it can have value but it does need to be policed somewhat carefully. It should be handed over once a child hits seven – how much depends on individual circumstances and parental values. With pocket money a child can be taught the value of setting aside a percentage – even if it is only 10 per cent for future spending. An important point to remember is that when children are given control over what they buy, they are going to sometimes (always?) make the wrong decisions. That will leave them feeling sad and pleading for a do-over. This can be tricky because a parent might have seen the mistake coming and stopped themselves intervening – a little like David Attenborough filming a lion creeping up on an antelope in the wild. The parent might also want to stop the child being sad. But making mistakes is part of life just as lions eating antelope is and children can learn a lot from making them. Cash for chores? An alternative to pocket money is a chore-based system. By getting kids to do little jobs around the house for cash you can teach them some of the simple concepts of earning and income early on. And get them to do things like vacuum the livingroom. They will not, however, grasp the concept of wages and the financial significance of the money as it isn't really understood until early adolescence, according to researchers. That takes us to ages. What to teach them about money from toddlers to teens There are many thousands of books and websites the offer advice on how children can be taught the art of money. We were impressed with the US-based Money as You Grow website from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB). which has an age- based guide to that many might find useful. It suggests a few things parents can say to teach their children about the value of money. For the youngest cohort aged between three and five it suggests the following: 'Say: You need money to buy things, and you earn money by working. 'Say: You may have to wait and save up money before you can buy something you want. 'Say: For big events – and for everyday activities – you need to think ahead about what you will need 'Say: Every time you spend money, you make a choice. There's a difference between things you need and things you want.' Any parent who can impart these four nuggets to children by the time they are five will have done very well indeed. Children aged between six and 12 can learn they need to make spending choices and that it's good to shop around and compare prices before buying (another skill many Irish adults could do well to learn, if our experience is anything to go by). This age bracket should also be taught it can be costly and dangerous to share information online and that putting money in a savings account will protect it and pay interest. Again, the US site has things parents might say to these young ones. 'Say: You can earn money through an allowance or by doing jobs for the family or others. 'Say: You can start a habit of putting money aside for things you want. 'Say: You need to make choices about how to spend your money. 'Say: Try shopping around and comparing prices and features before you buy. 'Say: Taking out a loan means you pay back what you borrow, plus more – because of charges called interest. 'Say: You need to keep important personal information private. From 14 to 18, lessons can include the importance of looking at cost when choosing colleges, the need to avoid using credit cards to buy things which otherwise would be unaffordable, the nature of tax and saving for retirement. Although, we have to be honest, teaching a 16-year-old about the value of pensions or the difference between the Universal Social Charge and the top rate of tax does seem like a stretch to us. Home Economics Speaking of teaching and teens, another thing that might be encouraged is choosing Home Economics as a Leaving Cert subject . While certain core subjects are mandatory right through the curriculum and others are mandatory until the Junior Cert, the Department of Education has no policy on the one subject which would do most to improve our young people's levels of financial literacy. One of the questions on this year's higher level Home Economics paper went like this In relation to household budgeting, differentiate between essential expenditure and discretionary expenditure. Give one example of each type of expenditure. How would you get on with that? Making money visibile in a contactless world Another modern day reality is the invisibility of cash. Contactless payments were introduced in Ireland in 2012 with Apple and Google Pay following a few years later. The net effect means cash is increasingly invisible. By making it more visible and taking children to cash machines and using notes and coins more frequently, a useful visual lesson can be shared. It is also worth remembering that whilst learning about money is essential, learning about money anxieties is not. How conversations are framed is key in this regard.. Saying 'We don't have enough money' or 'We can't afford that' can lead to anxiety about money, and a lack of control the family's financial situation. By contrast saying 'That is not good value for money' or 'I can think of a better way to spend my money' imparts a sense of control and priorities. And finally, it is of value to teach children what added costs mean. If you buy a bike you will also need to spend money on a helmet and a lock and lights and more. And if you are going to see a film, then it is no harm to tell your children how much the tickets cost but also how much you are spending on snacks and drinks. But you don't want to be a bore about it. Your children already have plenty of reasons to think you are boring and you really don't want to give them another one. You can contact us at OnTheMoney@ with personal finance questions you would like to see us address. If you missed last week's newsletter by Joanne Hunt on your rights if your holiday flight goes wrong you can read it here .
BBC News
12-06-2025
- Entertainment
- BBC News
Race Across the World couple say it 'opened their eyes'
Race Across the World contestants Fin Gough and Sioned Cray have said taking part in the programme has inspired them to take on more latest series of the BBC One show saw five pairs race a distance of about 8,700 miles (14,000km) between the Great Wall of China, north of Beijing, and Kanyakumari, the southernmost tip of under six million viewers have been tuning in per episode or catching up on iPlayer within a seven day childhood sweethearts said while the race was physically and mentally difficult, as "one mistake can cost you", it has also taught them important life skills. The pair, who came third, did not reveal the result to family and friends and watched the final episode alongside them at a local pub."It was a nice place to see it, a nice place to give Race Across the World a send off," Fin explained."No-one knew where we came but I did have to tell my mum where we went though, because the Great Wall of China is a place she's always wanted to go."The pair said the reaction has been heart-warming."A lot of people have been very kind, even people we meet down the street," said Sioned. During the show each of the teams had to pass seven checkpoints in China, Nepal and India on their route to the finish were banned from travelling by air, and instead given a budget of £1,140 per person for the were also not allowed to use their smartphones or bank cards to organise transport, food and to figures from TV ratings body Broadcasters' Audience Research Board (Barb), the series was the most watched programme in the UK across all channels and streaming platforms during each week it aired, with the exception of the week the Eurovision Song Contest was broadcast. Sioned had watched the show before and enjoyed taking part, but said it was also challenging."It was putting your body, your mind just everything through the mill, it was hard," she said."We missed a bus and we were 36 hours behind."She added the race element to the show also added to the stress, as the thought of falling behind was constantly on her mind."One mistake can cost you."However, for the couple, who have been together for five years, the experience was worth it - especially as they had both wanted to visit Nepal."When I opened the envelope and I saw 'you're going to Kathmandu' I thought wow incredible," Fin said. "I'd do it again!"To help get them through the two-month trip Sioned decided to bring a part of Wales with them including a Welsh branded towel, a Wales football keyring and a charm from her mother on her bracelet."It was quite comforting to have something because we have zero contact with home that whole time," she said. The pair added the time away helped give them a more rounded perspective. "I just didn't have an idea of what I wanted to do with my life," said Sioned, who feels the show helped her grow as a person."I want to explore more, take time with things and just live life as best I can."We've come back with so many more life skills, we understand each other more, we understand people in general more and we just know the world has much more to offer."It's opened our eyes a lot". The childhood sweethearts are now planning another big trip."It just makes us want to travel even more now," said Fin. "We went to Australia as soon as we came back which we wouldn't have done if we hadn't done Race Across the World."Sioned added: "We've just got that itch that's just not going away to travel more now."A reunion episode featuring this year's cast is set for June 18 on BBC for the next series of Race Across The World are open until 6 July.
ABC News
12-06-2025
- General
- ABC News
Are teens taught enough life skills to know how to 'adult'?
Mai is a first-year medical student. She also doesn't know how to change a light bulb. After her 18th birthday she moved out of her home in Shepparton, Victoria, to go to university in Armidale, New South Wales. "The whole move out was a bit stressful," she says. "I feel like I was a bit independent, but there was just this big sudden change where now I'm cooking for myself. I'm cleaning for myself. I am transporting myself everywhere. I'm flying on planes alone. "I'm doing this, I'm doing that and they seem like small things, but once you add having to study on top of that, it just all becomes very overwhelming. Mai was thrown in the deep end of the big wide world and quickly realised that while high school had prepared her for university, it hadn't taught her to "adult". "It becomes this thing that we don't talk about and we just expect everyone to know," she says. "Like, OK, I'm all good with the educational side of things, but I don't know how to apply for a Medicare card or I don't know how to check if my immunisations are up to date. "Am I stupider than my friends because I don't know how to do this? "That just kind of takes away part of your confidence." Defining what it means to be an adult can be difficult. You turn 18 and in the eyes of the law, hey presto, you're an adult. But are there certain responsibilities or life skills that inherently qualify as "adulting"? For 16-year-old Casey, who is in year 11, there are. "Adulting to me is being able to provide for yourself and being able to provide for other people," she says. "So being able to take on responsibility for your finances, for basic things in life, like knowing how to get a Medicare card, knowing how to buy a house, how to manage a car, all of those things. Archer, who is 18, feels he should be well-equipped with these skills but suspects he is lacking. "I'd like to think I'm mature, but I think adulting means managing finances and bills, something I don't really do," he says. "I don't do any trades. I don't do much hands-on work. I never really liked it. "I'm not going to leave my house anytime soon, like at all. I'm going to be studying at uni for probably five years and that's all going to go to my HECS debt. "So I'm just going to be sitting in my house, you know, studying, working hard, of course, but I don't need to worry about [adulting] … and there's no reason for me to because it's not practical to leave my house." When asked if she thought her peers were similarly lacking in skills, Casey said it was pretty split. "I think it's pretty 50–50. I think there are some people who are dead set on track, know what they're going to do with life and some people who are like, 'Ah, I don't know what I'm doing!' This apprehension towards "adulting" is a global affliction. In Canada, a handful of universities have begun offering Adulting 101 classes, to fill in the blanks when it comes to life skills. In these classes students learn things like budgeting, changing a car tyre, and applying for a home loan. Across the ditch in New Zealand, a pair of high school students has started a petition to make life skills a compulsory subject. In our neck of the woods, just 60 per cent of young Australians say their high school education prepared them for the future, while almost 70 per cent say they've taken some form of online classes in the past year, often to do with learning basic life skills. Those results are from Monash University's 2024 Youth Barometer Survey. Some participants felt high school hadn't equipped them with basic life skills, and it could be hard to learn them on your own. Teenagers Briar and Mai want to address this knowledge gap by starting a social media campaign called How To Adult. "Basically, the idea of it is a very simplified social media campaign, more like a TikTok page or a YouTube channel, where we would upload these 30 to 60-second videos, just teaching people real skills," Mai says. "So, it's just small things and the idea of it was that we wanted to get information on how to do these things from professionals." Briar and Mai are winners of this year's Heywire competition, an annual storytelling contest run by the ABC across regional and remote Australia. Briar, who is 17 and in year 12 in Wooroolin, near Kingaroy in Queensland, says having a resource like this will fix a problem she feels many young Australians face. "We just have absolutely nothing to go off and we're solely relying on our parents and getting chucked in the deep end almost to try and figure stuff out," she says. "You'd be surprised how many people have part-time jobs within school and have no idea how to save, what to spend, applying for anything government [related], so Medicare cards." Mai says getting professionals to teach these skills via short videos will help young Australians grow in confidence and might even help them save a bit of cash. "Mainly kind of budgeting, renting, even as small as how to change a light bulb, you know, or how to change your car tyre," she says. "How do you apply for a working with children check? How do you check if you're up to date on your immunisations? "You don't want to be paying dollars for, let's say, an electrician to just change a light bulb, or you don't want to go to a mechanic to change your tyre." Both Briar and Mai agree that schools should be taking more responsibility for teaching young Australians life skills. "Schools have always stood for, 'We're preparing you for the real world. We're learning this maths so you can do engineering'. "But it's never as simple as how to change your car tyre, you know?" Briar reckons she spends too much time on things that she says are unimportant. "It's more Shakespeare and all that fun stuff," she says. "We just really need to home in on what's important and what's valuable to get young people educated." "I think schools definitely [are] … a very big part of who we are becoming," Mai says. She acknowledges that parents have a role to play, but says their time is scant. A spokesperson for the Australian Curriculum Assessment and Reporting Authority, which is responsible for setting the Australian curriculum, says it includes content to support the development of crucial life skills such as financial literacy, food preparation and mental health and wellbeing, and sets out skills it wants all young people to develop. Archer reckons parents should be the ones to teach their kids to "adult", but recognises not everyone is afforded this opportunity. "I'd like to say it's your parents [who should teach their kids], because that's what they should be doing, and they've had experience firsthand doing all the adulting stuff," Archer says. "But not everyone's parents are a reliable source … so, I think if we want to be equal, [it should be taught in] schools."
Telegraph
11-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Telegraph
I went to Switzerland's last finishing school – these are the skills that changed my life
Once a rite of passage for society girls preparing for debutante balls, the traditional finishing school fell out of favour in the mid-1990s – with schools attended by the likes of Princess Diana closing their doors for good. But on the edge of Lake Geneva, at the foot of the Alps, Switzerland's last finishing school – the acclaimed Institut Villa Pierrefeu (IVP), still has a huge demand for places, despite a six-week course in etiquette costing upwards of £22,000. There, girls from around the world learn essential life skills, ranging from the modern (media management) to the practical (walking in heels) to the positively unusual (eating a banana with a knife and fork). Belle Le Fevre was one of its students. But is Le Fevre starting to feel the pressure of organising such an occasion, the guest list, seating plan, table decorations and, crucially, making sure both her English and French guests are treated with utmost politeness? Mais non. For the 29-year-old, organising such an event is a breeze – thanks to her training. 'When my parents told their friends I was going to finishing school, I think many of them were quite dismissive,' Le Fevre, from Brackley, Northants, admits. 'There was a sense of, 'What on earth are you sending her there for, in this day and age?' 'I'd always loved the idea of going though – my mum told me she regretted not being able to because she had to go straight into the world of work. Her best friend went to IVP, and I've always admired the understated confidence she carries herself with. 'So, when I graduated from the University of York, in 2018, with a degree in business management, I went straight from there to IVP's summer school in Montreux. 'However, I was a bit unsure of what to expect. I was hoping I wouldn't have to spend six weeks learning to walk with a book balanced on my head and riding side-saddle – but that couldn't have been further from the reality. 'I left with a confidence that was probably beyond my years; [knowing] that I could walk into any room and interact with anyone in the world, and I'd know what to do. I made so many wonderful friends from around the world. 'And, once I'd returned, the same people who had raised an eyebrow at me going started getting in touch, asking what they should do with a soup spoon once they had finished their starter.' (If there's a coupe plate, set it on there. If not, leave it in the bowl – but never place it back onto the table, she helpfully clarifies). 'A little thoughtfulness goes a long way' Indeed, the Institut Villa Pierrefeu's summer programme, based in Montreux, includes lessons in everything from how to correctly lay a table and walk in high heels to international business etiquette and media management. 'I'd been brought up with upper-middle-class British manners, but I quickly learnt that what I considered to be polite would not necessarily be held in such high regard in other parts of the world,' explains Le Fevre. 'For example, in the UK, we consider a firm handshake to be an appropriate greeting, but that's not so in France, where they often prefer the air-kiss for social settings, while other cultures use a hand on the chest. 'I always try to introduce myself with a greeting that's appropriate to the other person's culture; a little thoughtfulness goes a long way. 'I was surprised to learn that French and English dining etiquette was so different, too. When I first met my fiancé's parents, I could make sure I did what they would find polite rather than what I thought was polite; for instance, I put my knife and fork together in the 5 o'clock position, rather than the 6 o'clock one. 'I think they were pleased.' 'We learnt how to eat a banana with a knife and fork' The summer course at IVP includes more than 30 intensive practical exams, covering everything from table setting, correct dress and suitable conversation topics for specific groups of guests, plus how quickly attendees are able to rescue a conversation that's at risk of drifting into dangerous territory. There are also individual exams on the customs of more than 20 different countries, which include questions on etiquette and taboo conversation topics. 'We did also spend a morning learning how to walk in high heels,' Le Fevre admits. 'But as someone who lives in flats, I did really appreciate learning how not to fall flat on my face. (The key, apparently, is to go from heel to toe.) 'I underwent media training, too, learning how to handle difficult questions in a crisis situation. I use that knowledge all the time at work while handling complaints and making sure people understand that I have heard them and am being diplomatic. 'There was the odd thing that seemed a bit superfluous – we learnt how to eat a banana with a knife and fork, so I know if the need for me to do so ever arose, I'd be covered. 'The amount of material covered and constant exams are actually quite intense and definitely not for the faint-hearted,' she adds. And for those who believe training in the correct spacing between cutlery and navigating four-inch stilettos is outdated? 'I don't think it's outdated at all,' Le Fevre says. 'I see etiquette videos popping up all over my social media channels all the time. People seem to be obsessed with 'old money etiquette' and learning how to be polite more than ever before,' Le Fevre adds – although notes that many of them offer incorrect advice. 'The demand for traditional finishing schools might have decreased, but there is clearly huge interest in learning basic manners.' 'Real etiquette is not snobbery' William Hanson, leading etiquette expert and author of the politeness guide Just Good Manners believes we are currently in an etiquette boom. 'In the past five years, the demand I have seen for etiquette classes has increased enormously,' he said. 'There's been a real push back against technology removing the need for face-to-face interaction. I'm seeing more and more people asking for training in how to act with grace and decorum in a world of technology. 'Another interesting possibility behind the rise in etiquette interest is the large number of people on the international stage who openly display tremendously bad manners. That has acted as a catalyst for others to focus on making sure they display the opposite.' The headmistress of Institut Villa Pierrefeu, Viviane Neri, agrees. 'The core of our curriculum has always been about being polite, confident and cultivating interesting and interested women,' she says. 'Real etiquette is not snobbery; it's about being humble and knowing that you will never know everything – just do your best and be polite to people, whatever the situation.' And while the curriculum at IVP has changed considerably over the years, these principles, Neri adds, have not. 'Traditionally, our courses were run over a year, with modules in cooking, French, childcare, sewing and current events, but by the turn of the millennium, most of our clients were businesswomen, who couldn't take a year out,' she says. 'Those soft etiquette skills are so in demand in business, so we decided to condense the elements of etiquette and protocol into a six-week course instead. The courses are now so popular that we have rolled out international dining courses for men – and we're hoping to create more courses for both genders in the future.' So, does Le Fevre consider the IVP course money well spent? 'Absolutely. I use the skills I learnt at finishing school more often than the ones I learnt during my degree. I don't think I could ever regret a course that has opened my eyes to so many cultures and taught me so much,' she says. 'If I ever have a daughter, I would absolutely make sure she had the opportunity to study there too.' Belle Le Fevre's top tips for polite living: Know how to enter a room 'Entering a room with confidence will set you apart in any situation, be it social or business. Hold yourself with poise and never turn your back on the room. Take time to make eye contact with everyone you speak to and give them your full attention – they will remember you.' How to cut a banana with a knife and fork 'We learn this in case a banana is served at a meal as an alternative to the main pudding – sometimes they can be offered if someone has dietary requirements that mean they can't eat the pudding on the menu. It looks rather inelegant to eat one with your fingers...! Place the banana on the plate. Using the fork to hold it steady, cut off both ends with the knife and put them to one side. Then, turning the knife horizontally (again using the fork to hold the banana steady), you cut along the long back side and inner side of the skin. Use the knife and fork to lift the top side of the banana skin off, placing it neatly on the side of your plate, before using the knife and fork to gently separate the banana at the sides from the peel. Then eat your banana either in the English or French style of dining, depending on how you have eaten the rest of your meal. (English, use your knife and fork, French, use just the fork, using the side to cut) and eat the banana in slices from one end to the other. Once you're finished, put both ends back into the banana skin, and put the peel back over the top so it looks nice and neat on your plate.' Practise small talk 'The most useful thing I learnt was the art of starting a conversation with anybody. The magic question I always use is: 'How do you spend your time?' because it allows the other person to interpret the question however they like. They could start talking about work, hobbies or what they've been watching on television. It never fails to put people at ease.' Know the dress code 'They say there's no such thing as being overdressed, but that's not strictly true. The most important part of accepting a social invitation is to read the occasion and understand the dress code – if you're not sure, ask the host. It can make you, and other guests, feel uncomfortable if you turn up over, or under, dressed.' You can abandon British table manners 'Don't assume that what you consider to be good dining etiquette applies in other countries. In Britain, we're obsessed with using a knife and fork, but in Italy, it's perfectly acceptable to eat pizza with your hands. Meanwhile, in India, it's expected to eat with your fingers, and in many Asian cultures it's good manners to use two hands to pass someone a cup. Do your research before you dine with people from a different culture.' Ask for help 'It's always acceptable to ask your host, or other people, for help if you're not sure what to do. Having good manners is about being humble and polite, not showing off what you know. If you genuinely aren't sure whether something is acceptable or not, a polite but quiet word with your host should answer your question. If they're a good host, they will be pleased that you asked and want to be polite too.'
