Latest news with #princesstreatment
BBC News
19-07-2025
- Entertainment
- BBC News
'Old-school romance feels special': What is the controversial 'princess treatment' and why is Gen Z obsessed with it?
The social-media phenomenon has been growing online – part etiquette trend, part relationship aspiration, part fairytale. Is it empowering, a bit of fun, or something more sinister? We're used to seeing old-fashioned, high-society courtships played out on such TV shows as Bridgerton, The Buccaneers and The Gilded Age. But now the fascination with period-drama levels of chivalry has morphed into Gen Z's favourite fast-growing social-media phenomenon: "princess treatment". Just in case you've been too busy attending balls in glittering palaces to follow the latest camera-ready dating trend, princess treatment refers to various supposedly fairy tale-worthy gestures made by women's partners, including (but never limited to) lattes in bed, flowers every Friday, partner-funded pedicures, and doors being opened for you. In social-media posts, princess treatment is typically contrasted with the "bare minimum" (think: baseline expectations of communication and remembering birthdays). And, of course, such treatment is eminently clickable: social-media platforms have increasingly turned private acts of affection into public displays. But how healthy is it? Part etiquette trend, part relationship aspiration, part fantasy – is princess treatment empowering, a bit of fun, or a sinister kind of turbo-charged trad wife-ism? Nearly 130,000 Instagram posts congregate under the hashtag #princesstreatment. At the heart of the trend is Utah-based influencer Courtney Palmer, a self-proclaimed "princess housewife", whose TikTok – viewed 7.6 million times – outlines her controversial expectations for her spouse: "At a restaurant with my husband, I don't speak to the hostess, open doors or order my food." Some naysayers have suggested that this is more like the behaviour of a prisoner than a princess. Emma Beddington in The Guardian called it "emetic" and "disturbing". And yet princess treatment is resonating, particularly in the United States. Why princess treatment is resonating "In a time where dating can feel transactional and often confusing, old-school romance feels special," says Myka Meier, one of Instagram's biggest etiquette influencers. To Meier, who has more than 650,000 Instagram followers, princess treatment is less about materialism and more about emotional attentiveness. "The fantasy of being 'swept off your feet' taps into a universal desire for elegance, respect and intentionality," Meier tells the BBC. With a new Downton Abbey film coming this autumn, and the heroine of Lena Dunham's new Netflix series, Too Much, fantasising about being courted by a Mr Darcy-style suitor, there's no denying the current appetite for depictions of old-fashioned, high-society romance. The aforementioned Bridgerton, The Buccaneers and The Gilded Age, not to mention The Crown, have revived interest in old-fashioned wooing, and made a romanticised version of historical high-society courtship accessible to streaming audiences. These period dramas have "absolutely" influenced his audience's dating etiquette questions, says etiquette expert Daniel Post Senning, author of Manners in a Digital World. "Our stories colour how we make sense of our emotions," says Senning, who is the great-great grandson of manners doyenne Emily Post. How the US fell for fairytales Despite having broken free from subjecthood nearly 250 years ago, Americans have long been enchanted by royalty. When Queen Victoria was crowned in 1837, "Victoria Fever" swept the US; American women wanted to know everything about her – all the way down to her Chelsea Boots, says Arianne Chernock, a history professor at Boston University. By the mid-20th Century, Disney's animated Cinderella and Queen Elizabeth II's televised coronation had helped to popularise female royals even further. And today? "Americans are interested [in royalty] in the 20th and 21st Centuries because Americans have become players within the Royal Family," Chernock tells the BBC. In 1936, Wallis Simpson – a divorced Pennsylvania-born socialite – was at the centre of a constitutional crisis when King Edward VIII abdicated to marry her. Decades later, Prince Harry's marriage to California native Meghan Markle (now the Duchess of Sussex) reignited US attention. And, adds Chernock, Princess Diana, though British, became "the people's princess" across the Atlantic for her humanitarian work and celebrity. "Diana had huge followings in America," Chernock says. "In fact, she even contemplated moving to America, because she always felt more support here." Many Americans are fascinated by royalty precisely because it's not theirs, according to Chernock. Monarchy floats above the fray of US politics as a fantasy. "Queens and princesses provide this fusion of private and public unavailable to women in the US, with a gravitas and a political role that's not comparable to our American celebrities," she says. More like this:•How the 'dollar princesses' brought US flair to the UK• Why the 'Virgin Queen' never married• Is burlesque empowering or degrading to women? As the world has moved to online media and social platforms, public fascination with the lives of the rich and royal (both as real figures and fictional characters) has grown. However, while fictional depictions and social-media influencers focus on opulence and ease, real-life princesses also have tremendous soft power, allowing them to be major players when it comes to diplomacy. "Being a princess is hard work," argues Chernock. Empowering or rebranded regression? Princess treatment is something of a misnomer, then. Rather than describing the lifestyle of a princess, it seems to be the social-media spin on chivalry, says Senning. In its original medieval context, chivalry was a knightly system with a code of conduct. But in modern history, chivalry connotes men's traditional and courteous behavior towards women, which some scholars say is a reinforcement of traditional gender roles and a manifestation of "benevolent patriarchy". On the other hand, says Meier, simple acts like pulling out a chair or walking someone home can clarify your care for your partner or date. "Formality slows things down a bit, allows room for appreciation and adds a little layer of magic," she argues. Harmless enough, then? The rise of princess treatment has sparked fresh debate, but Chernock says that the discussion is nothing new. Society has long used the motif of the princess to explore ideas of womanhood and propriety. "[The princess treatment debate] is a referendum on women's roles in society, and there's never going to be a single perspective on that," she says. The debate is the latest in a line of highly gendered relationship discourses and follows on the heels of last summer's trad wife fever. Trad wives, or women who embrace and promote traditional gender roles, captivated their followers with their nostalgic (often blonde, bucolic) portrayals of domesticity. The two trends have striking parallels – as Rolling Stone put it recently: "Is 'princess treatment' the gateway drug trad wives have been waiting for?" Princess treatment's similar appeal to nostalgia has sparked its own conversation about power. Why stop at the tiara when you can demand "queen treatment"? Perhaps, to those who are tradwife-inclined, it is the implied passivity of the princess role that appeals. The queen title has a "fraught, political" connotation, suggests Chernock, whereas the princess is framed through the rose-tinted lens of youth, romance and Disney fantasy. And yet, while princess treatment may seem like a rebranding of retrograde gender roles, Chernock points out that, on one level, the appeal of princesses emerges from their strength. "When girls play princess," she says, "they are looking for permission to be commanding." Or maybe they don't need permission. After all, if it's women who are posting about princess treatment, isn't it women who are in charge? -- For more Culture stories from the BBC, follow us on Facebook, X and Instagram.
Yahoo
17-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Who wants to be treated like a princess?
Imagine walking in on your neighbor repeatedly spraying their spouse in the face with a water hose. In real life, this would warrant some concern. On TikTok, though, it's a part of the latest relationship test. Women online are listing a series of errands and romantic gestures and having their male partners guess which category of behavior they fall into: 'princess treatment' or the bare minimum. If they get it wrong, they're immediately hosed in the face. The trend, by and large, is all in good fun. Some couples seem to be in agreement on what are reasonable expectations in a relationship — and what demands are diva-level. According to some women, however, any favor a man can provide — no matter how arbitrary or unnecessary — should be considered the 'bare minimum.' In one TikTok, influencer Emma Moriarty expects her husband to give her the first bite of his food at a restaurant, pay for her parking tickets, and fill up her gas tank. 'It's from the same bank account!' her partner rebuts to the last scenario after getting splashed. These royal-inspired standards have been a hot topic over the past month thanks to influencer Courtney Palmer (@courtney_joelle). The self-proclaimed 'housewife princess' shared a video explaining the 'princess treatment' she receives from her husband when they go to restaurants. 'If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I don't speak to the hostess,' she says matter-of-factly. 'I do not open any doors, and I do not order my own food.' The video sparked immediate concern from users ('me when I'm a prisoner,' replied a commenter) and several parodies. Still, 'princess treatment' has proven to be somewhat of an irresistible concept online, as evidenced by the viral water hose game. The clips seem to be partly in jest, while still suggesting 'princess treatment' should be the norm. After all, Palmer isn't the only person promoting 'princess treatment' across the app. From strict rules around confirming dates to traditional dating gurus, women are being encouraged to take an increasingly high-maintenance approach to dating and relationships. But are high-maintenance demands as rewarding as they seem at first glance? And are they just making women passive in relationships? It's not an uncommon observation that TikTok isn't the best place to learn about dating and relationships — despite the fact that a sizable portion of Gen Z and millennials are receiving counsel from the app. It's not that users can't find solid guidance from credentialed relationship experts. It's just that the people and opinions that most routinely go viral are controversial or completely absurd. And much of this content — even when it's cloaked in the language of empowerment — has an overarching conservative or regressive bent. For women, in particular, online dating advice can be pretty bleak. On one end of the spectrum, you have content that fits squarely into the overtly religious, 'trad wife'mode of thinking. Christian influencers like Sprinkle of Jesus founder Dana Chanel and podcasts like Dear Future Wifey extol the values of submitting to your husband or weathering their mistreatment. A more subtly insidious version of this content frames traditional gender norms as radical, affirming, and indicative of a woman's worth, a la 'princess treatment.' SheraSeven (aka Leticia Padua, aka 'sprinkle sprinkle' lady) has become one of TikTok's foremost dating gurus for unabashedly promoting a 'gold digger' mentality. She maintains throughout her videos that a man's only purpose in a relationship is to provide, and that it's a woman's role is to receive. A similar self-styled expert, Russell Hartley, has become popular for his punchy digs at broke or stingy men who don't want to provide financially for their women. It's not hard to see why Padua and Hartley's content might sound amusing and maybe even refreshing. They prioritize women's comfort in relationships, while reducing men to charitable givers — something many women have probably experienced the exact opposite of. Meanwhile, an alarming amount of young men online are being told that the ideal woman is subservient. 'The whole manosphere is about what it means to be a 'high-value man' who gets a 'high-value woman,'' says Rachel Vanderbilt, relationship scientist and host of The Relationship Doctor Podcast. 'They have these expectations that women are going to have a low body count' — that is, a limited number of previous sexual partners — 'and are going to behave like mothers and be nurturing.' In the current hellscape that is heterosexuality, an excessively doting partner who's willing to take care of everything might sound appealing to some women. Solomon suggests these expectations might be an extreme response to bad treatment that they've witnessed, if not experienced, from men throughout their lives. 'I think a lot of cis-hetero women are looking at patterns in their families where they've either seen women be actively mistreated by male partners or where women have been rendered invisible by domestic and caregiving responsibilities,' she says. 'When we can identify something we don't want, our next move tends to be, so what instead? And our go-to is a 180.' These desires by certain women suggest a tension between the traditional values that are constantly being romanticized and the fact that women don't have to be as reliant on men as they once were. In 2023, a study by the Pew Research Center reported a growing number of married women, 29 percent, earning the same amount of money as their husbands, while 16 percent were the breadwinners of their households. Still, much dating advice suggests that women belong in a passive, dependent role. It's the same paradox behind 'princess treatment.' The power is all in theory, not in practice. Author and clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon suggests that the 'princess treatment' trend is an 'attempt to hold onto something that feels gender-traditional in the face of an economic reality that just is anything but.' 'What 'princess treatment' is saying is, 'no matter how much money he earns, what he's providing is a tremendous amount of comfort for me,'' she says. 'There's no economic cost to him pulling out my chair, but these are all the ways in which I feel cherished and chosen and protected and provided for.' On TikTok, being treated like a princess involves a never-ending list of rules and expectations that are high-maintenance, if not totally random. Last month, the newsletter Cartoon Hate Her observed what they dubbed the 'Princess Signaling Game,' an informal trend where women announce their strict but often virtueless standards for potential suitors on social media. This included a suggestion by a TikTok user that if a man doesn't confirm a date by 2 pm, he's immediately disposable. Having standards is necessary. But having these kinds of inflexible rules contributes to an extremely self-focused vision of dating that already thrives on TikTok. From 'ick' lists to red flags to beige flags, the process of finding a partner looks less like connecting with a person and more like a process of elimination based solely around our petty dislikes. These trends lack any interrogation of whether our wants are even valid or meaningful in a relationship. Like the 2 pm rule, they seem to promote antisocial behavior. 'Dating is a process of mutual curiosity and a desire to get to know each other, not a series of tests that someone needs to pass in order to move forward,' says Vanderbilt. ''Princess treatment' and all of these related videos are usually designed in secret with an expectation that most people are going to fail.' Overall, these sorts of assessments aren't exactly helpful in discerning a partner who's kind or caring, just someone who can check random boxes and jump through hoops. All of it speaks to a culture where men and women increasingly fail to relate to one another. 'Men are being told how to treat women and all of these ways to play hard to get,' says Vanderbilt. 'Then women are like, 'Men need to do all of these things and prove their value to me.' And so we're both speaking past each other instead of coming to dating as a human experience.' 😵💫 Need to unwind after a long day?
News.com.au
12-07-2025
- Entertainment
- News.com.au
Social media dating trend points to act women no longer accepting
The dating game can be brutal with trends like ghosting and the emphasis on casual relationships amplified — but finally it seems like the bar for the bare minimum has risen. Women of TikTok have put their partners to the test, asking them a series of statements with the question; 'Is this princess treatment or the bare minimum?' For context, princess treatment is when a partner does something that a reasonable person would consider above and beyond. While, the bare minimum is the standard and what should be expected in a relationship. The most telling thing about the trend is exactly what is deemed to be the bare minimum, as for years it was simply replying to a text message before 10pm. Rosie and Harry, a British content creator couple who moved to Australia, took part in the trend. For every answer Harry got 'wrong', 25-year-old Rosie sprayed her fiance with water. 'Princess treatment or bare minimum — knowing exactly what period products I need from the store without asking me,' Rosie asked. Harry responded that was the bare minimum. Next, he said washing Rosie's hair in the shower for her seemed like 'princess treatment', to which she agreed. However, Harry faltered, according to Rosie, when she asked which category it fell under for him to always give her the last bite of his food at the restaurant every time. He dubbed it princess treatment. He said that Rosie always having access to his phone, not liking other women's photos on social media and offering to take photos of Rosie when they were out were all the bare minimum. But, what does this mean for Australia's dating scene? Nicole Colantoni, eHarmony's relationship expert, said that bare minimum behaviour are things like responding to messages, remembering someone's birthday or asking how your partner's day has been. Meanwhile, she's seen 'Princess Treatment' described as dropping your partner off at work and picking them up every day, driving two suburbs over on a rainy Sunday to pick up a favourite pastry and washing their partner's hair. She said it's a stark reminder that you need to know your partner's expectations and love languages. 'It's a playful yet pointed reminder that things like texting back, remembering your partner's birthday, or making plans in advance aren't 'over the top' — they're just the basics of emotional maturity and care,' she said. 'On the other hand, something like booking a surprise weekend away or tickling your partner to sleep might be considered princess treatment — going that extra mile to really make someone feel special.' She said it was a signal that we are finally seeing a shift towards more intentional and emotionally intelligent dating. Ms Colantoni said people are becoming increasingly conscious of what it takes to create a healthy relationship, and people are no longer solely looking at achieving financial security or social status through dating. So, why are people finally bucking the trend of cool and casual when it comes to dating? 'For one, people are more emotionally aware than ever — we're talking about attachment styles, emotional regulation, love languages, and relationship standards openly on social media,' the relationship expert said. 'There's also this culture of comparison happening, where people are constantly scrolling and comparing their relationships to curated versions of others online, which can blur the lines around what's 'normal' versus what's actually meaningful. I also think the post-pandemic world has sparked a deeper craving for emotional intimacy and effort. People want to feel prioritised, not just partnered.' She said to ask for more, it's important to know what you need — and then express it clearly and kindly. It's also important to have regular check ins. 'The trend is a reminder that while we think we know what our partner needs, we often don't — and that clear communication is essential. It also reflects how our standards and needs evolve, and how a relationship has to adapt with them,' she said. 'Sometimes, we do want a little extra care or surprise effort — whether or not we call it princess treatment. And that's okay. The real message is that intentional effort matters.'
Telegraph
08-07-2025
- Lifestyle
- Telegraph
Women who want to be treated like princesses are setting us back decades
Hot on the heels of 'tradwife' – a movement where women embrace more depressingly traditional gender roles – comes another regressive US-born fad: 'princess treatment'. Echoing adherents of other anti-feminist trends, 'princess treatment' is about being elevated to quasi-regal heights by your adoring, significant male other – to the point that you remain completely silent, while he does all the talking for you. Other basic 'princess' staples are: getting your man to hold the car door open for you, pay for your manicures, and – my favourite – having him tie your shoelaces. Last week a TikTok video posted by 37-year-old stay-at-home mum and 'princess treatment' advocate Courtney Palmer went viral. In it, she described how: 'If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess, I do not open any doors and I do not order my own food.' Referring to the concept as 'a gentle way of living', Palmer said that it allows men to 'lead' with strength. The five-minute video may have amassed over 4.5 million views, but if the comments are anything to go by, many of those are hate-watchers. 'I used to be a server,' writes one, 'and I would genuinely consider calling the police if I saw customers acting like this.' Another woman asks whether Palmer is in 'a hostage situation'. Yet it has prompted an honest discussion about gender roles, and a surprising number of women are admitting to missing what Palmer describes as 'the grace of my husband taking the lead'. Break Palmer's manifesto down, and a lot of what we're talking about is a matter of manners – lost male manners. So perhaps it's not that surprising. I miss them too, and I never want to get used to a door swinging shut in my face or a man ordering before me, because to me, those things will always be disrespectful. I don't expect men to stand up when I go to the toilet in a restaurant (to adjust my corset), but I always think it's lovely when they do. So I understand what Palmer means by 'a gentle way of living'. I don't want to be engaged in a lifelong war of the sexes or a competition to see who is toughest. In a perfect world, wouldn't we bring out the best in each other? As for the creepier 'princess' stuff, the silence and the lack of control over what I'm going to eat for supper? Hard pass. I've spent enough time with a certain male demographic (who will never ask a woman questions, let alone what she does for a living) to find silence extremely unappealing. And being ordered for? That's only happened once. It was the shortest date in history, and Joe, wherever you are, I hope you found your Courtney.
Yahoo
05-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Woman Who Doesn't Open Doors, Order Her Own Food Speaks Out About Controversial 'Princess Treatment' Content (Exclusive)
Courtney Palmer had been making "princess treatment" videos for months before her recent video went viral Palmer found herself at the center of controversy when she posted about a typical date night for her and her husband of 18 years The video, which amassed 4.5 million views, sparked online debate about healthy relationships, but Palmer tells PEOPLE it was taken out of contextThe idea of "princess treatment" isn't new to the internet. Over the years, videos about leaning into your feminine energy have gained in popularity, with instructions on how to help women "tap into their feminine potential" and let their partner lead. Inspired by these, Courtney Palmer decided to create videos about her life as a stay-at-home mom and how she and her husband delegate responsibilities. Palmer, 37, tells PEOPLE she started posting TikToks in February, showing off her outfits and sharing "day in the life" videos. Hoping to gain more traction, she decided to create a video about the differences between being a housewife and a stay-at-home mom. Her content, where she talks to the camera for five to seven minutes, began to take off. She decided to create her now-viral "princess treatment" series, explaining all the things her husband does for her. On June 21, Palmer posted a TikTok to her account, detailing what a typical date night looks like for the couple. "If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess, I do not open any doors, and I do not order my food," she said. She also addressed the minor interactions that occur during the process, such as at the coat check and valet. In the five-minute video, Palmer said she doesn't "make eye contact" or speak to the hostess, opting to let her husband "lead." She also rarely speaks to waitstaff, having her husband order everything. "I want him to order for me. I like when he orders for me," she said in the clip. "It's not that I'm not capable of ordering for myself, it's just a fun princess treatment sort of thing." "You don't need to overspeak or overexert yourself," she added. "...You're not going to be laughing loudly, speaking loudly, or demanding the attention of the room when you're at a restaurant." The video went viral, amassing 4.5 million views. The comments section was flooded with concern, leading to a wider discussion about gender roles and healthy relationships, striking comparisons to "tradwife" culture. It also inspired parodies and stitches, taking social media by storm. Some people suggested that this type of "princess treatment" is "regressive" for women, and argued against the idea that women need to be "quieter" in order to be deemed "feminine." However, Palmer insists it was taken out of context, erroneously creating a narrative that she was a "silent woman who isn't allowed to speak." "I speak, I laugh, I make decisions in my life. We go out, and we have lovely dinners," she exclusively tells PEOPLE. "I enjoy the grace of my husband taking the lead, confirming the reservation he made. He pulls out my chair, orders for me after I've decided what I'd like to eat. It's not control, it's care." Despite her video implying otherwise, Palmer notes that she does interact with restaurant workers and "finds joy in connecting with the waitstaff and hostess and having those small moments of chit chat," such as asking where the food is sourced. Palmer admits she was "completely blindsided" by the response to her video. "My content was reaching a community of 16,000 followers, and I was grateful to have a very sweet community. All of a sudden, overnight, I thought, 'Oh my gosh, some of these comments are mean,' " she says. "Then I thought, 'That's okay, it'll run its course within 48 hours.'" Palmer shares that, upon reviewing the analytics of her video, she noticed that most people only watched the first 30 seconds of it, and many were missing context from the rest of the series. "People started to make more videos, and I was completely shocked and felt bad. I didn't mean it like that and they're missing context from the other videos," Palmer shares. "I didn't think the backlash would go on for as long as it has. It breaks my heart, we're all just trying to do our best." While people's perception of "princess treatment" seems to vary, Palmer defines it as "a gentle way of living." "It begins with how you care for yourself. It's not about him, it's about you. You're choosing softness, calm and grace. It's very intentional," Palmer says. "You're speaking kindly to yourself. You're making space for that peace by embracing your feminine energy without shame." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. "Princess treatment isn't about how someone else is showing up for you. It's how you carry yourself, how you hold your boundaries, the way you move through the world, knowing you're the prize," she adds. "The world learns to treat you that way." "Your softness isn't giving anyone control over you. It's giving a partner space to lead with that strength," she insists. "When I'm leaning into my grace, I invite him to rise as that protector, a provider, a partner, because that's what he wants to do. It works in a perfect balance and becomes that effortless, graceful, calm, peaceful lifestyle." Palmer has been married to her husband for 18 years, and although he doesn't have any social media presence, he watches all of her content. "He thinks it's amazing and he's proud of me," Palmer shares. Their relationship dynamic came very naturally, as Palmer says her husband is "so attentive" and "always made me feel so special." "He adores me and goes over the top to make me feel loved. He has always been this way. We never had a conversation about any of the things that I talk about in any of my videos, we just naturally fell into it," Palmer shares. "That's what I'm trying to tell through my videos. When you show up in a certain way, he will act in this way, naturally. It's not about forcing or manipulation. You're not playing a game." Despite the strong reaction to her viral video, Palmer found that her content resonated with lots of other women, who turned to Palmer for advice, explaining that they felt like they were doing all the work in their relationships. "I started to build this community that felt genuine and sweet. Some mothers were receiving the princess treatment, and mothers who wanted it," she shares. "I didn't think anyone cared. I thought, 'It's an interesting viewpoint, right? It's a little bit different.' It's not always met with praise, but we found this community, and it grew into 16,000 followers." After leaning into her own "princess treatment" journey, Palmer was surprised to find others wanted to be treated similarly. "I found the words online for it and realized I wasn't alone in wanting to live with more softness, romance and grace," she says. "It's been years in the making. I think people want to say, 'Oh my god, overnight she became like this, or he made her like this.' " "It was something that was happening in the background for a long time, but I was scared to talk about it" — until now. Read the original article on People
