Women who want to be treated like princesses are setting us back decades
Echoing adherents of other anti-feminist trends, 'princess treatment' is about being elevated to quasi-regal heights by your adoring, significant male other – to the point that you remain completely silent, while he does all the talking for you. Other basic 'princess' staples are: getting your man to hold the car door open for you, pay for your manicures, and – my favourite – having him tie your shoelaces.
Last week a TikTok video posted by 37-year-old stay-at-home mum and 'princess treatment' advocate Courtney Palmer went viral. In it, she described how: 'If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess, I do not open any doors and I do not order my own food.' Referring to the concept as 'a gentle way of living', Palmer said that it allows men to 'lead' with strength.
The five-minute video may have amassed over 4.5 million views, but if the comments are anything to go by, many of those are hate-watchers. 'I used to be a server,' writes one, 'and I would genuinely consider calling the police if I saw customers acting like this.' Another woman asks whether Palmer is in 'a hostage situation'. Yet it has prompted an honest discussion about gender roles, and a surprising number of women are admitting to missing what Palmer describes as 'the grace of my husband taking the lead'.
Break Palmer's manifesto down, and a lot of what we're talking about is a matter of manners – lost male manners. So perhaps it's not that surprising. I miss them too, and I never want to get used to a door swinging shut in my face or a man ordering before me, because to me, those things will always be disrespectful. I don't expect men to stand up when I go to the toilet in a restaurant (to adjust my corset), but I always think it's lovely when they do. So I understand what Palmer means by 'a gentle way of living'. I don't want to be engaged in a lifelong war of the sexes or a competition to see who is toughest. In a perfect world, wouldn't we bring out the best in each other?
As for the creepier 'princess' stuff, the silence and the lack of control over what I'm going to eat for supper? Hard pass. I've spent enough time with a certain male demographic (who will never ask a woman questions, let alone what she does for a living) to find silence extremely unappealing. And being ordered for? That's only happened once. It was the shortest date in history, and Joe, wherever you are, I hope you found your Courtney.
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