Woman Who Doesn't Open Doors, Order Her Own Food Speaks Out About Controversial 'Princess Treatment' Content (Exclusive)

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2 days ago

Courtney Palmer had been making "princess treatment" videos for months before her recent video went viral
Palmer found herself at the center of controversy when she posted about a typical date night for her and her husband of 18 years
The video, which amassed 4.5 million views, sparked online debate about healthy relationships, but Palmer tells PEOPLE it was taken out of contextThe idea of "princess treatment" isn't new to the internet.
Over the years, videos about leaning into your feminine energy have gained in popularity, with instructions on how to help women "tap into their feminine potential" and let their partner lead.
Inspired by these, Courtney Palmer decided to create videos about her life as a stay-at-home mom and how she and her husband delegate responsibilities.
Palmer, 37, tells PEOPLE she started posting TikToks in February, showing off her outfits and sharing "day in the life" videos. Hoping to gain more traction, she decided to create a video about the differences between being a housewife and a stay-at-home mom.
Her content, where she talks to the camera for five to seven minutes, began to take off. She decided to create her now-viral "princess treatment" series, explaining all the things her husband does for her.
On June 21, Palmer posted a TikTok to her account, detailing what a typical date night looks like for the couple.
"If I am at a restaurant with my husband, I do not talk to the hostess, I do not open any doors, and I do not order my food," she said. She also addressed the minor interactions that occur during the process, such as at the coat check and valet.
In the five-minute video, Palmer said she doesn't "make eye contact" or speak to the hostess, opting to let her husband "lead." She also rarely speaks to waitstaff, having her husband order everything.
"I want him to order for me. I like when he orders for me," she said in the clip. "It's not that I'm not capable of ordering for myself, it's just a fun princess treatment sort of thing."
"You don't need to overspeak or overexert yourself," she added. "...You're not going to be laughing loudly, speaking loudly, or demanding the attention of the room when you're at a restaurant."
The video went viral, amassing 4.5 million views. The comments section was flooded with concern, leading to a wider discussion about gender roles and healthy relationships, striking comparisons to "tradwife" culture.
It also inspired parodies and stitches, taking social media by storm.
Some people suggested that this type of "princess treatment" is "regressive" for women, and argued against the idea that women need to be "quieter" in order to be deemed "feminine."
However, Palmer insists it was taken out of context, erroneously creating a narrative that she was a "silent woman who isn't allowed to speak."
"I speak, I laugh, I make decisions in my life. We go out, and we have lovely dinners," she exclusively tells PEOPLE. "I enjoy the grace of my husband taking the lead, confirming the reservation he made. He pulls out my chair, orders for me after I've decided what I'd like to eat. It's not control, it's care."
Despite her video implying otherwise, Palmer notes that she does interact with restaurant workers and "finds joy in connecting with the waitstaff and hostess and having those small moments of chit chat," such as asking where the food is sourced.
Palmer admits she was "completely blindsided" by the response to her video.
"My content was reaching a community of 16,000 followers, and I was grateful to have a very sweet community. All of a sudden, overnight, I thought, 'Oh my gosh, some of these comments are mean,' " she says. "Then I thought, 'That's okay, it'll run its course within 48 hours.'"
Palmer shares that, upon reviewing the analytics of her video, she noticed that most people only watched the first 30 seconds of it, and many were missing context from the rest of the series.
"People started to make more videos, and I was completely shocked and felt bad. I didn't mean it like that and they're missing context from the other videos," Palmer shares. "I didn't think the backlash would go on for as long as it has. It breaks my heart, we're all just trying to do our best."
While people's perception of "princess treatment" seems to vary, Palmer defines it as "a gentle way of living."
"It begins with how you care for yourself. It's not about him, it's about you. You're choosing softness, calm and grace. It's very intentional," Palmer says. "You're speaking kindly to yourself. You're making space for that peace by embracing your feminine energy without shame."
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"Princess treatment isn't about how someone else is showing up for you. It's how you carry yourself, how you hold your boundaries, the way you move through the world, knowing you're the prize," she adds. "The world learns to treat you that way."
"Your softness isn't giving anyone control over you. It's giving a partner space to lead with that strength," she insists. "When I'm leaning into my grace, I invite him to rise as that protector, a provider, a partner, because that's what he wants to do. It works in a perfect balance and becomes that effortless, graceful, calm, peaceful lifestyle."
Palmer has been married to her husband for 18 years, and although he doesn't have any social media presence, he watches all of her content. "He thinks it's amazing and he's proud of me," Palmer shares.
Their relationship dynamic came very naturally, as Palmer says her husband is "so attentive" and "always made me feel so special."
"He adores me and goes over the top to make me feel loved. He has always been this way. We never had a conversation about any of the things that I talk about in any of my videos, we just naturally fell into it," Palmer shares. "That's what I'm trying to tell through my videos. When you show up in a certain way, he will act in this way, naturally. It's not about forcing or manipulation. You're not playing a game."
Despite the strong reaction to her viral video, Palmer found that her content resonated with lots of other women, who turned to Palmer for advice, explaining that they felt like they were doing all the work in their relationships.
"I started to build this community that felt genuine and sweet. Some mothers were receiving the princess treatment, and mothers who wanted it," she shares. "I didn't think anyone cared. I thought, 'It's an interesting viewpoint, right? It's a little bit different.' It's not always met with praise, but we found this community, and it grew into 16,000 followers."
After leaning into her own "princess treatment" journey, Palmer was surprised to find others wanted to be treated similarly.
"I found the words online for it and realized I wasn't alone in wanting to live with more softness, romance and grace," she says. "It's been years in the making. I think people want to say, 'Oh my god, overnight she became like this, or he made her like this.' "
"It was something that was happening in the background for a long time, but I was scared to talk about it" — until now.
Read the original article on People