Fury at What Neighbor Posts Through Mailbox: 'Is This Harassment?'
Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content.
A parent is outraged after a neighbor allegedly delivered an unsolicited parenting book in a mailbox.
The Reddit user, known as u/Gh0st_Pirate_LeChuck, shared their frustration on the subreddit r/mildlyinfuriating, where the post quickly gained traction with over 13,000 upvotes.
The poster wrote: "My neighbor in her early 80s who likes to throw water on kids' chalk art put this book in my mailbox. We keep to ourselves and my kids are very respectful. They hate everyone around us and do things like this to everyone.
"She's married (somehow) and her husband doesn't do anything. She's petty af [as f***]. Is this harassment? Isn't it a federal offense to put things like this in others' mailboxes?" she wrote.
The book left in the mailbox was 1-2-3 Magic: Effective Discipline for Children 2-12, a popular parenting guide that outlines a method for managing behavior through consistent routines and nonemotional discipline.
Expert Insight
Paris Smith, a licensed therapist at Mending Minds Mental Health Collective LLC, weighed in with Newsweek about the saga.
"When dealing with a passive-aggressive criticism in this specific example, it's best to ignore it," she said.
Smith acknowledged the natural response of feeling "angry, frustrated, shocked, and judged," but added that responding only feeds the conflict.
Although the act might not qualify as criminal or harassment on its own, she recommended documenting such incidents in case they become a pattern. Smith added that, when criticism is given more directly, it's important to be firm and set clear boundaries.
Smith suggested saying something like: "Hey, I'm not really looking for parenting advice at the moment; there are a ton of different parenting styles and I'm going to do what I believe is best for my household. In the future, if I need advice, I'll ask directly."
Stock image: A residential mailbox has been left open by a road.
Stock image: A residential mailbox has been left open by a road.
xphotoz/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Etiquette expert Genevieve "Jenny" Dreizen, COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, agreed that the neighbor's action crosses a line.
Dreizen told Newsweek: "When someone anonymously puts a parenting book in your mailbox—especially one titled How To Discipline Your Kids—it's not just bad manners. It's passive-aggressive judgment wrapped in paper.
"In modern etiquette, we always come back to this: unsolicited advice is not kindness. And when it's delivered without a name, it's not advice at all—it's a quiet attempt to shame you."
Dreizen called it "an act of control dressed up as concern" and said that recipients of such behavior have every right to ignore it—or, if the neighbor has a pattern of overstepping, to set a direct boundary.
Reddit Reacts
Commenters on Reddit were quick to chime in, with reactions ranging from sarcastic humor to more-serious advice.
"I think the correct response would be to leave her fliers about dementia and some retirement home listings," wrote one user.
"OP [original poster], I will purchase this book for you if you promise to knock on their door and hand deliver it," another offered, referencing a title called Why It's OK To Mind Your Own Business.
"Once when I was a baby, a lady in the grocery store handed my mom a book of prayers for parents with troubled children. My mom couldn't help but being confused because I was being well-behaved that day! It's definitely annoying, but this will make a good story to laugh about later," a third commenter wrote.
Not everyone was on the original poster's side, though.
"As passive aggressive this is, I have s***** a** neighbors with loud a** kids and would view this as a potential issue from your household. Being a good neighbor goes 2 ways. Maybe figure out where she's coming from," one user wrote.
Newsweek reached out to u/Gh0st_Pirate_LeChuck for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on "WSID" at Newsweek.
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