Is It Wrong to Push Ozempic on My Spouse?
My husband's lifestyle is very sedentary, with minimal exercise (20 to 60 minutes a week), though he does eat a largely healthy diet. I've watched him struggle with his weight over the 15 years we've been together, cycling through various approaches to diet and exercise. Even when he succeeds in losing weight, it always comes back, and now he seems to have given up.
As we both approach 50, I worry that his B.M.I., which is 30, and his B.R.I. (body roundness index, a measure of abdominal fat) are high (he can't even button some of his shirts around the middle), which could lead to other health issues. I've already tried encouraging him to move more and eat better, but I can't schedule every one of my workouts for us to exercise together, and he dislikes some of the routines I do, anyway. He's also very sensitive about his weight.
Is it wrong for me to try to get him to take Ozempic? I'm hoping that losing weight will help boost his energy levels, which might lead to more self-care. I know it's not my body, and I'm not his doctor, but as his wife I also know it will fall to me to care for him if health issues arise. — Name Withheld
From the Ethicist:
It's natural to worry about the health of someone you love — especially as the years accumulate and the lines between caring for yourself and caring for your partner begin to blur. Long-term relationships involve a particular kind of vigilance: You notice the wince, the shortened breath, the unbuttoned shirt. This isn't control; it's love in the form of everyday attention.
Obesity really is correlated with health problems, and if your husband could lose weight sustainably, his life might improve in ways that matter. Historically, weight loss has been a story of perpetual disappointment — diets abandoned, exercise routines that peter out, New Year's resolutions that start wobbling the following evening when it becomes clear that celery sticks are an imperfect substitute for chocolates. GLP-1 drugs, such as Ozempic, have helped many people break that cycle.
Still, even sound advice can land wrong if it touches a nerve. If your husband is sensitive about his weight, the real challenge isn't knowing what's best; it's finding a way to talk about it that feels loving, not critical. Try to keep the focus on the prospect of his feeling fitter and on your hope for more good years ahead. Maybe suggest he talk to his doctor — not as a directive but as a way to explore options. You're not pushing him to 'fix' himself; you're looking out for him. If it turns out to be a difficult conversation all the same? Loving someone can mean risking that discomfort — for the sake of all the days you haven't yet lived together.
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