Love really is a rollercoaster! Incredible chart reveals how much relationship satisfaction changes in a single DAY

Daily Mail​

17-06-2025

When it comes to relationships, there can be plenty of ups and downs.
Now, a new study proves that love really is a rollercoaster.
Scientists have mapped fluctuations in relationship satisfaction to reveal how it can vary considerably over several days – and even over the course of 24 hours.
'Fluctuations are quite normal,' lead author Louisa Scheling, from Johannes Gutenberg University Mainz said.
'However, they may also indicate unsatisfied needs in the relationship.'
Figures show that in the UK, 42 per cent of marriages now end in divorce, marking a significant increase since the 1950s.
Research into the phenomenon has focused primarily on relationship satisfaction across months and years.
'In contrast, we have decided to take a narrow chronological approach to determine how satisfied partners were with their situation over the course of a few days and even within a 24-hour period,' Ms Scheling said.
The researchers analysed data provided by nearly 750 couples who reported their relationship satisfaction on a daily basis, up to several times a day.
They found that partners experience substantial fluctuations in terms of how satisfied they are with the relationship.
These fluctuations tended to be greater over periods of several days than during a single 24-hour period.
They also discovered the 'up and down' swing of satisfaction turned out to be relatively synchronised for both partners.
Further analysis revealed that the perceived responsiveness of the partner was a key factor in determining the course of satisfaction.
The emotional stability of male partners also had a notable effect, they found.
'The reliable perception and fulfillment of the partner's needs contributes significantly to stable relationship satisfaction in everyday life,' Ms Scheling explained.
'It's similar to a parent-child relationship: if needs are consistently met, satisfaction stabilizes at a high level.'
Two couples with average (top) versus strong (bottom) fluctuations in relationship satisfaction, measured five times a day over 10 days
The fluctuations in relationship satisfaction can – over the short term – be accompanied by thoughts of breaking up, she said.
Over the long term, however, it appeared to have a limited effect on the course of the relationship.
'It is possible that fluctuations in relationship satisfaction tend on the whole to mimic the current relationship dynamics between partners, rather than predicting the future development of the relationship,' she added.
In her view, the findings of the study can help to support couples and show them, for example, in the context of relationship counselling, that fluctuations in relationship satisfaction are normal but may serve as signals that there is room for improvement.
The findings were published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
WHAT ARE THE FIVE STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP AND HOW DO THEY AFFECT THE BODY?
Psychologists suggest there are five stages of love - butterflies, building, assimilation, honesty and stability.
Each of these stages has a different impact on our psyche and health, researchers at eHarmony found in a 2014 survey.
1) Butterflies
Marked by intense infatuation and sexual attraction, symptoms noted by couples included weight loss (30 per cent) and a lack of productivity (39 per cent).
Biologically, it's reported that during this early stage of dating, both men and women create more of the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen.
As a result more than half - 56 per cent - noted an increase in their libido.
2) Building
As the initial attraction gives way to learning more about one another, the honeymoon stage subsides and a couple begin to build their relationship.
eHarmony's study estimated around three per cent of Britons in relationship are currently at stage two.
The body releases neurochemicals called monoamines, which speed up heart rate, trigger rushes of intense pleasure and replicate the effects of Class A drugs.
The biological effect culminates in a feeling of 'happy anxiety', where people can think of little else than their blossoming relationship.
Forty-four per cent of the study participants noted a lack of sleep while 29 per cent reported a their attention span had been adversely affected.
3) Assimilation
Having established whether the other person is 'right', stage three forces a couple to question whether the 'relationship' itself is right.
Questions over the future of the union and forming boundaries in the relationship can lead to a rise in stress levels, reported by 27 per cent of those taking part in the study.
4) Honesty
Stage three combines with stage four, where people open up showing the 'real you' sees the first real rise in stress levels and anxiety.
'This stage deals with the concept behind how we all put on our best faces, through social media we edit our lives as well as our pictures to make it appear as though everything is fine,' psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who assisted with the study, told MailOnline.
Opening up completely triggered feelings of doubt and increased vulnerability in 15 per cent of participants.
5) Stability
If a couple can weather the emotional rollercoaster of the first four stages, the fifth and final stage, stability, brings with it increased levels of trust and intimacy.
eHarmony found 50 per cent of respondents had reached this stage, and 23 per cent reported feeling happier as a result.
Biologically, vasopressin - a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm - strengthens feelings of attachment.
Meanwhile oxytocin - released during childbirth - deepens feelings of attachment.
'This is where we see a real level of contentness,' Dr Papadopolous told MailOnline.
'We found the body releases wonderful hormones which helps couples bond. We noted a real sense of attachment, and a sense of "you have got my back and I've got yours".'