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Man Feels ‘Crushed' When Girlfriend Says the Engagement Ring He Proposed with Isn't ‘Impressive' Enough
After proposing, a man had misgivings about his new fiancée's reaction to the ring He said he picked a ring that "suited her style," though the woman seemed unhappy with his choice Redditors generally sided with the woman, noting that an engagement ring is meant to be worn for life — but that both partners should have an honest conversation to clear up any misunderstandingA man was proud of the ring he proposed with — but his new fiancée wasn't that impressed. In a post on Reddit's "Am I Overreacting" forum, a new fiancé shared his misgivings about his proposal to his longtime girlfriend — or rather her reaction to it. He had been planning to pop the question for months, and when the time finally came, the woman seemed more focused on the ring itself, he wrote. The couple had been together for three years prior, the man wrote, and recently he thought it was time to propose. He picked a ring he "thought she'd love," he said, which didn't have a huge stone, but he said it was "beautiful and suited her style." The ring itself cost around $6,000, and he only recently came into the funds to be able to afford it. "She said yes but the first thing she said when she saw the ring was 'oh... it's smaller than I expected,'" the man wrote. "Later she mentioned her friend's ring being bigger and said she thought I wouldve gone with something more 'impressive.'" The man tried to make light of it, but her comments stung, he said. It "crushed" him to think of that major moment in their relationship as tarnished by her disappointment. The whole thing feels "hollow" now, he added. Now, the man is wondering if her reaction is indicative of a larger issue: "If this is how she reacted to something that was supposed to be special and meaningful, what else will never be good enough?" Those in the comments, while justifying the man's emotional reaction, reinforced that just about everything about proposing should have been a conversation. Though the woman's comments and reaction may have been "tactless" based on the man's description, one commenter wrote, it's important to remember that an engagement ring is meant to be worn for the rest of her life. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. "Engagement rings are incredibly personal items, and she isn't out of line for wanting some input into how it looks and feels," the commenter wrote. Another noted that the man seemed to decide for her what "suited her style" — rather than discussing with her what she'd want. The user suggested the couple sit down together and have a conversation — about the man's hurt feelings and about the woman's ring preferences. That way, there's no misunderstanding. "Talk to the woman you love and find out what's actually wrong," they wrote. "If she's just superficial, it'll be clear quickly." Read the original article on People
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
My Husband and I Prioritize 'Preventative Couples Therapy.' How It Can Divorce-Proof Your Marriage.
I wasn't sure I ever wanted to get married. Not because I didn't believe in love, or because I'd had my heart broken too many times, or any of those other tired tropes that are often attached to a jaded rom-com protagonist. No, simply put, after witnessing my parents' messy divorce that dragged on for most of my childhood, and well into my teen years—I was a bit disillusioned by the whole thing. When I thought about the idea of marriage, it stirred up all these negative feelings, as if my body was actively rejecting the entire concept. So, I guess, I fell into a trope after all: The child of divorce who was skeptical about marriage. When I met my partner, however, it felt like my brain began to rewire, slowly creating new pathways and softening my skepticism. As our relationship got more serious, I found myself imagining a long-term life with him—traveling the world, starting a family, growing both individually and as a couple—I even began entertaining marriage as a possibility. I may not have been raised with a clear example of a healthy partnership, but I wanted to try to forge one, with him. And so, after nearly 10 years of dating, we collectively made the decision to get engaged. My only stipulation: I wanted us to start going to preventative couples counseling. One of the silver linings of my parents' divorce was that it landed me in therapy from a young age, and I've been going off and on ever since. However, despite being a big fan and advocate of therapy most of my life, it took a pending engagement to consider this kind of work with my partner. After all, there weren't any glaring issues in our relationship to remedy—we were nowhere near a breaking point, but rather on the verge of a joyful chapter. While proactive couples counseling isn't the norm, therapists actually wish people would treat it just like any other preventative health practice. 'Most couples come to counseling in crisis or when they're at a point where one person has lost feelings of love and warmth toward the other,' says relationship expert Morgan Cutlip, PhD. 'This makes the process of repairing and building back the relationship that much harder.' I remember seeing this play out with my parents, who made feeble attempts to seek therapy when I was young. But at that point, the structure of their marriage had seemingly eroded beyond repair. As Cutlip flags, it's much more beneficial for couples to consider therapy before they 'need' it, so sessions can be spent helping 'develop the tools, perspective, and communication skills to prevent major issues from developing down the road.' In fact, this work can help happy couples at any relationship stage, she adds, from the honeymoon phase to new parenthood. I didn't want to wait until my relationship was falling apart to learn how to fix it. Instead, I wanted us to build a strong foundation and have the tools necessary to mend the relationship whenever cracks began to appear. Thankfully, my partner was very receptive to the idea from the moment I brought it up. So, shortly after our engagement, we made an appointment with a trusted therapist. In the first session, we shared our story, how we met, the highs and lows of our relationship, and so on. We talked about our individual childhoods, and our own perceptions about marriage. After that initial session, we began seeing our therapist monthly. I'll admit, I had moments when I wondered if this was actually a waste of time—after all, I thought we were in a pretty solid place from the start. But, really, it's ideal for anyone invested in the 'long-term health of their relationship,' says Shannon Chavez Qureshi, PsyD, a licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, adding that preventative work is especially beneficial, 'during life changes that can add stress or disrupt the natural flow of connection in the relationship.' This became very apparent as our wedding loomed, and the stress of planning began to shine a spotlight on some of our individual triggers and emotional wounds. (Truly, if you ever want to uncover any unresolved family or personal issues, plan a wedding.) Therapy proved to be such an asset in helping us navigate this joyful yet tumultuous time—and I will forever be grateful for the additional support. In each session, we would bring up everyday examples—a tiff over some wedding detail or a bigger challenge we were both navigating together—and unpack them. Through this work, we began to realize small yet significant ways in which our communication styles weren't aligned. As any therapist will tell you, communication is the foundation of a good relationship—so, naturally, honing that skill is a key part of couples counseling. 'You get to build strong communication patterns, learn how to navigate conflict in healthy ways, and better understand each other's emotional worlds,' says Cutlip. 'It's a safe space to raise concerns early and strengthen your sense of being on the same team.' Through each discovery in therapy—whether it was regarding how we process emotions differently, or how unresolved childhood issues crept into our interactions with each other—I began to have a new layer of appreciation and compassion for the man by my side. In fact, I found myself falling even more in love as we got to know each other on a deeper level than before. It felt incredible to find new, healthier ways to work together through everyday problems and communicate more effectively. While doing the work, we also gained unique insights about our individual selves. Our discussions often illuminated areas of our mental health that we could continue to work on in our solo therapy sessions. This experience was equal parts surprising and cathartic, and only further validated the importance of couples therapy to me. After each session, we were given new reading material and exercises to work on together at home. Were we always perfect about doing our homework? Of course not, we're only human. But I did start to notice incremental changes in the way we approached disagreements or miscommunications—it brought an even greater sense of security and peace to our household than I'd even imagined was possible. Now, we've pivoted from our monthly sessions to quarterly, while recommitting to our own separate therapy work. Nevertheless, we are determined to make preventative couples therapy a mainstay in our relationship. Not only did it help us get through the high-stress process of planning a wedding, but I now see that it will be so beneficial as we navigate other big life changes. 'While no one can predict the future, having the open dialogue and tools necessary for anything that may be of concern to you will help you in a scenario if/when times get tough,' says Lyndsey Murray, LPC-S, CST, an AASECT-certified sex therapist. Another benefit of preventative couples therapy is the fact that both of you are signaling to each other that you are fully invested in your partnership. I've heard it said that a relationship is a living, breathing thing, and taking time to really nurture it can help build a deeper emotional intimacy. 'Telling each other 'this amount of work is worth it to me for the sake of our relationship' can really make partners feel important to the other, strengthening their bond,' says Murray. When I look back on my initial motivations to try couples' counseling, it felt like I was checking a box—proving to myself that I was different from my parents, and therefore the outcome of my relationship would be different, as well. But, the reality is, there are so many factors beyond my control, and I have no idea what will happen over the course of our marriage. What I do know is, right now, I feel proud and grateful for the opportunity to grow alongside my favorite person. First, you'll need to bring up the idea with your partner. When you start the conversation, it's important to make it clear nothing is wrong, you'd simply like to keep things running smoothly and set yourself up for success. Cutlip suggests approaching the chat with curiosity and care, by saying something like: 'I love what we have, and I was thinking it could be really cool to carve out some time to focus on us. I read about couples doing therapy before there's a problem, and I thought it could help us stay strong and connected.' From there, together you can find a therapist who aligns with your needs and goals. 'If you're just starting out, look for therapists who specialize in relationships or even consider programs or workshops designed for couples,' says Cutlip. 'You can also use books or guided conversation tools to supplement between sessions. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.' Sure, it can be difficult to prioritize something like couples therapy when there isn't a glaring issue to address. But try to shift your mindset: Consider it part of your relationship wellness routine, rather than crisis management. Start by going once a month for a couple of sessions, then decide what kind of cadence feels right from there—and consult with your therapist to see what they suggest. After all, making it a regular ritual can strengthen your connection, help you navigate changes, and gives you space to reflect and grow together. And you can make it fun! 'If you view it as a way to learn about each other and also learn about yourself, it becomes easier to make it a regular part of your routine,' says Murray. Just remember: Therapy isn't about fixing your partner—it's about strengthening the partnership, says Cutlip. 'Going in with a mindset of growth and collaboration makes all the difference. When couples invest early, they often feel more connected, more seen, and more equipped to handle whatever life brings.' You Might Also Like Jennifer Garner Swears By This Retinol Eye Cream These New Kicks Will Help You Smash Your Cross-Training Goals
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
The $1 Canned Vegetable This Famous Chef Always Has in Her Pantry (Yes, Even in Summer)
My grandpa, who had a wee farm in North Carolina, was a prolific summertime canner. He sort of had to be; my grandma had three sets of twins (basically Irish sextuplets!) and two more kids prior to that. This meant their fridge and cupboards were always a veritable library of gem-toned jars of tomatoes, pickled okra, and plump lima beans. While my grandpa's green thumb did not necessarily make it into my genetic makeup (hey, my basil plant is still mostly alive), keeping a stockpile of canned and jarred vegetables is absolutely in my nature. Not only convenient, canned vegetables are infinitely adaptable and often just as tasty as their fresh counterparts. As I've found, plenty of professional chefs swear by these canned goods to perk up salads, pasta dishes, summery BBQ sides, and more. Here are five of their favorites. Chef Lisa Steele always keeps a couple cans of Del Monte beets (as well as its pickled jars) on hand, dicing them up for a bit of earthiness in greens-based salads, including one with goat cheese and pine nuts. Be sure to grab two cans, so you can make Steele's other favorite: an alternative caprese combo with sliced beets, fresh mozzarella, and dill or tarragon. Buy: Del Monte Sliced Beets, $1.04 (on sale!) for 14.5 ounces at Walmart Corn season feels like a blink, doesn't it? But there's no need to feel too much corn-related FOMO if you have a can of Del Monte corn on hand, according to chef Robert Irvine. 'If corn isn't in season where you live, then the 'fresh' corn in the produce section isn't really fresh at all,' he says. '[It] traveled hundreds or thousands of miles to get to you.' Irvine opts for Del Monte canned corn in summery salsas and salads. '[Corn] that was canned the moment the ear was ripe is going to have more flavor and that satisfying burst when you bite into it.'Douglas Keane, chef and partner of restaurant Cyrus, also keeps Del Monte's Mexican Street Corn around for filling quesadillas, especially when it feels like summer corn season is far from view. 'I also like to make creamed corn with it,' says Keane, who punches up canned corn with chopped cilantro, butter, and a drizzle of sriracha. Just be sure to grab no-salt added cans so you can adjust the salt levels to your liking. Buy: Del Monte No-Salt Added Canned Corn, $1.59 for 15.25 ounces at Target I could probably make a modestly sized igloo out of my jarred artichoke collection alone (I like to use them in a pancetta-artichoke pasta dish). And it would seem that I am in good company, with many chefs grabbing a few cans of Cento artichokes at the grocery store. 'These bring incredible texture and flavor, especially in antipasti or tossed with house-made cavatelli and lemon butter,' says chef Davide D'Andrea of Rosebud Restaurants. 'I also love blending them into a spread for grilled bread. It's the kind of ingredient that feels luxurious, but is so easy to work with.' Joshua Cox, executive chef of The Foundry Rooftop, is also a fan of how a quick crisp in the oven transforms the Cento artichoke hearts into an earthy, balanced addition to flatbreads and frittatas. '[The artichokes] balance creamy ingredients like goat cheese or hollandaise. Plus, they feel a little fancy without being fussy,' he adds. Buy: Cento Quartered Artichoke Hearts, $3.75 for 14 ounces at Cento While fresh is king to Chef Robert Irvine, he still swears by keeping plenty of cans of Cento tomatoes in the pantry. 'Unless you're a vegetable gardener who does an annual harvest project of jarring your own tomatoes,' he says, 'then canned crushed tomatoes and tomato paste are going to be the base ingredients any time you make tomato sauce.' Buy: Cento Canned Crushed Tomatoes, $2.97 for 28 ounces at Walmart 'They're a workhorse,' chef Amando Auleley, culinary director for The Smith, says of Eden Foods' canned garbanzo beans. He's certainly right about just how much you can do with these versatile legumes. 'Roast them until crispy and toss into a warm grain bowl, mash them into a garlicky hummus, or simmer them with harissa and tomatoes for a saucy, spoon-it-over-anything situation,' he adds. 'Chickpeas are like the quiet friend who always shows up and delivers.' Can you really ask for more? I think not. Buy: Eden Foods Organic Canned Chickpeas, $3.69 for 15 ounces at InstacartWhat canned vegetables are you stocking up on this summer? Tell us about it in the comments below. Sign up for The Weekly Checkout to get the most up-to-date grocery news, tips, and highlights. Subscribe to The Kitchn! We Used Our New 'Room Plan' Tool to Give This Living Room 3 Distinct Styles — See How, Then Try It Yourself The Design Changemakers to Know in 2025 Create Your Own 3D Room Plan with Our New Tool
