Online dating apps don't want you to find a partner, tech author says
BERLIN: "Online dating is broken." It's a phrase increasingly heard among frustrated users of the likes of Tinder and Bumble. A German author on the social impact of tech believes he knows why.
"The biggest flaw of dating platforms lies in their business model," says Thomas Köhler, a non-fiction author specialising on the risks posed by software and technology.
"These apps are not designed for people to actually find a partner, at least not permanently. Because once someone succeeds, they leave."
This, he says, means one thing in every single case: two lost customers, no more swipes, no more clicks, no more subscriptions.
"This is where a fundamental contradiction lies: An app that claims to help with finding a partner profits the most from those who remain unsuccessful."
Tinder says that since its launch in September of 2012, the app has been downloaded more than half a billion times and has led to more than 75 billion matches, the company says.
Some 1.5 million people meet up for dates every week, it says, thanks to the app, available in more than 40 languages.
According to Köhler, author of a new German-language book on online dating, says all common apps have a design flaw.
"They reduce encounters to appearances and superficial criteria such as age, location and height. Intelligence, education, charisma, humour, tolerance and other qualities that users value cannot be represented online and are left behind."
This, he says, leads to a competition of superficialities, where those who most brazenly embellish reality often win.
Researchers have also recently focused on the risk of so-called online dating burnout. While not an independent illness, it manifests in symptoms such as emotional exhaustion, cynicism and reduced performance, as psychologist Wera Aretz wrote in 2024 in the Journal of Business and Media Psychology.
A completely different phenomenon is the politicisation of dating today. For example, many users display a watermelon emoji in their profiles to signal their solidarity with Palestine and, sometimes, opposition to Israel as a whole.
Köhler commented generally on politics and relationships: "Politics has long been a huge topic in dating. Many apps now offer the option to indicate one's political orientation. It is worth using this feature and taking a look at the views of potential matches. This can avoid disappointment, as the increasing polarisation of our society does not stop at relationships." – dpa
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