
Why Siti Kasim's 'think a thousand times before converting for the sake of marrying' is gospel truth
Take away the first flushes of romance, married life is full of unexpected pitfalls and challenges.
So warned human rights activist and lawyer Siti Kasim on her Facebook page recently on the many instances marital breakdown has led to a spouse wishing to leave a religion which he or she converted into for the sake of nuptials.
As it is not so easy to declare apostasy as in the case of Muslim convert spouses – in fact, it is very much a one-way traffic – it is best that one thinks long and hard when choosing a Muslim life partner, she counselled.
Sharing a video of a Muslim wife lamenting about her convert husband's refusal to adhere to certain Islamic practices, the legal eagle – while chiding the woman for washing dirty laundry on social media – contended that such is a chilling reminder of how fast reality of life would creep in once marital bliss has faded.
In the video which was first posted on Berani Viral's Facebook page, the lady identified only as Ema complained about her husband's fondness for his pet dog.
The canine which Ema admits is cute has clearly become a major bone of contention as its very presence within the home has greatly upset her.
Additionally, she is also infuriated by her husband partaking in some Taoist praying ritual alongside his grandmother who is living with them in addition to his fondness for Chinese food with dubious halal status.
However, Ema was berated by one commenter for being narrow-minded with her religious interpretations having contained too many restrictions which were not universal Islamic values.
He went on to chide the lady for not being able to differentiate between religious and cultural practices.
One lady commenter who claimed to have divorced from her Muslim convert spouse revealed that she never felt the urge to share him on social media. Foolish seems to be the verdict here.
The same sentiment was echoed by more than a few who thought such story telling of family matters in public to be in poor taste.
One commenter seemed to hit the nail on the head by asking why marry a convert if the lady was unwilling to compromise or buy into a different cultural background.
Such small-minded individuals are ill-suited to mixed marriages it was observed, hence Ema should have sought a Malay-Muslim spouse from the off to avoid all the challenges she is now facing.
It was also pointed out that in Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation, does not require non-Muslims to convert to Islam before legally marrying a Muslim.
There was little sympathy for Ema as many saw her rant as attention-seeking as well as displaying her narrow-mindedness for all to see.
One commenter even urged the husband to simply kick out this complaining spouse instead of his beloved dog.
That may be a tad drastic.
The one thing that the video does highlight – regardless of one's cultural or religious beliefs – is that mixed marriages can be fraught with difficulties.
Love can indeed conquer, but only if you let it … with a huge slice of compromise. – July 2025

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Focus Malaysia
19 hours ago
- Focus Malaysia
Why Siti Kasim's 'think a thousand times before converting for the sake of marrying' is gospel truth
LOVE conquers all or so it would seem. Take away the first flushes of romance, married life is full of unexpected pitfalls and challenges. So warned human rights activist and lawyer Siti Kasim on her Facebook page recently on the many instances marital breakdown has led to a spouse wishing to leave a religion which he or she converted into for the sake of nuptials. As it is not so easy to declare apostasy as in the case of Muslim convert spouses – in fact, it is very much a one-way traffic – it is best that one thinks long and hard when choosing a Muslim life partner, she counselled. Sharing a video of a Muslim wife lamenting about her convert husband's refusal to adhere to certain Islamic practices, the legal eagle – while chiding the woman for washing dirty laundry on social media – contended that such is a chilling reminder of how fast reality of life would creep in once marital bliss has faded. In the video which was first posted on Berani Viral's Facebook page, the lady identified only as Ema complained about her husband's fondness for his pet dog. The canine which Ema admits is cute has clearly become a major bone of contention as its very presence within the home has greatly upset her. Additionally, she is also infuriated by her husband partaking in some Taoist praying ritual alongside his grandmother who is living with them in addition to his fondness for Chinese food with dubious halal status. However, Ema was berated by one commenter for being narrow-minded with her religious interpretations having contained too many restrictions which were not universal Islamic values. He went on to chide the lady for not being able to differentiate between religious and cultural practices. One lady commenter who claimed to have divorced from her Muslim convert spouse revealed that she never felt the urge to share him on social media. Foolish seems to be the verdict here. The same sentiment was echoed by more than a few who thought such story telling of family matters in public to be in poor taste. One commenter seemed to hit the nail on the head by asking why marry a convert if the lady was unwilling to compromise or buy into a different cultural background. Such small-minded individuals are ill-suited to mixed marriages it was observed, hence Ema should have sought a Malay-Muslim spouse from the off to avoid all the challenges she is now facing. It was also pointed out that in Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim nation, does not require non-Muslims to convert to Islam before legally marrying a Muslim. There was little sympathy for Ema as many saw her rant as attention-seeking as well as displaying her narrow-mindedness for all to see. One commenter even urged the husband to simply kick out this complaining spouse instead of his beloved dog. That may be a tad drastic. The one thing that the video does highlight – regardless of one's cultural or religious beliefs – is that mixed marriages can be fraught with difficulties. Love can indeed conquer, but only if you let it … with a huge slice of compromise. – July 2025


The Star
a day ago
- The Star
A life in headlines
CHAN Kuan Yuan has seen it all from the frontlines of journalism. In his 63 years as a reporter, Kuan Yuan had the rare privilege of covering momentous events – from reporting on the last two colonial governors of North Borneo to witnessing the birth of Malaysia – and many milestones that shaped modern-day Sabah. These rich experiences are now documented in his newly launched 130-page memoir, Sixty Years on the Frontlines of the Press. While history books record major events, Kuan Yuan said, newspapers tell the stories of how those events unfolded. 'Over the past century, the world and our society have undergone immense change. From isolation and underdevelopment, we've progressed into an age of advancement and civilisation. Today, we've even stepped into the era of artificial intelligence,' said the 90-year-old at his recent book launch. 'As a journalist who has spent more than 60 years in this field, I've witnessed and experienced these changes first-hand, with all the ups and downs, triumphs and failures, moments of joy and sorrow, anxiety and fear.' He said he decided to preserve these memories knowing they would eventually be swept away by time. Kuan Yuan began his career in 1958 as a copywriter at the Overseas Chinese Daily before joining The Borneo Times Chinese edition as a stringer. Over the years, he rose through the ranks to become chief editor at several newspapers, including Sandakan Jit Pao, Merdeka Daily News, Sabah Shi Pao and Morning Post, before retiring in 2021 with Asia Times. 'A newspaper is a collection of news and words for both information and entertainment. Its pages form a continuous record of society and humanity,' he said. While history books record major events, he said, newspapers tell the stories of how those events unfolded. 'The world changes in the blink of an eye, and countless events must be documented and conveyed by journalists. This work carries the mission of preserving and advancing civilisation and progress.' Kuan Yuan (seated left) celebrating the launch of his memoir with Chan (seated right) and fellow current and retired journalists. His memoir reveals he was far from being an ordinary journalist. Those who knew him describe Kuan Yuan as courageous and passionate – someone who never shied away from paying the price for publishing the truth. He recalled the pressure faced from the powers that be when The Borneo Times supported the formation of multi-racial political parties in North Borneo, while political forces then preferred the race-based model used in Peninsular Malaysia. At the book launch, Sabah Journalists Association advisor Datuk Muguntan Vanar disclosed that Kuan Yuan was detained for 18 months under the now-repealed Internal Security Act for ignoring censorship laws shortly after the Emergency was imposed following the May 13, 1969 riots. 'Keeping with the ethics of journalism, Kuan Yuan never revealed the sources of his articles. His book details these episodes. Believe me, I can relate to his stress and fears during questioning and his journey to Kepayan prison just for telling a story,' said Vanar. 'The worst part is that, like for many journalists, telling a story is our job. Kuan Yuan did not see any crime that deserved incarceration.' The book, Vanar said, offers a peek into Sabah's history and the thinking of its people before and after Malaysia's formation – all through the lens of a veteran journalist. It was a double celebration for Kuan Yuan – publishing his memoir and receiving this year's Tokoh Wartawan Sabah award. He is seen here with Vanar (left) and Chan. He describes the memoir as essential reading, especially for younger journalists navigating an era of social media noise and artificial intelligence. 'It reflects the ethics, good practices and high standards of journalism. It's both inspiring and a reminder of the ethics we must uphold, especially now, facing challenges not only from social media but also from modern tools like AI,' Vanar said. He also hopes the book will be translated from Chinese into English and Bahasa Malaysia for wider access. Datuk C.L. Chan, the book's publisher, said the memoir goes beyond storytelling; it celebrates a living record of Sabah's modern history through the eyes of a man who spent over six decades chasing stories and keeping the public informed. 'He served as chief editor of no fewer than eight newspapers in Sabah, including The Borneo Times, which was co-founded by my late father in 1956,' said Chan. The idea for the book came about during the Covid pandemic when Chan, compiling his own family memoirs, reached out to Kuan Yuan for insights into the press in those early days – from the ink-stained desks, the steady clack of typewriters, the old printing machines that always broke down at the worst time. 'The more he shared, the more fascinating it became. I encouraged him to write his own story, to reveal behind-the-scenes moments many may never have known,' said Chan. Initially, Kuan Yuan politely declined. But a year later, to Chan's surprise, he agreed – and true to his discipline, completed the manuscript himself. 'This is more than just a book. It's a tribute to a man who spent his life telling other people's stories and now, finally, tells his own,' said Chan. At the recent Kinabalu Press Awards, Kuan Yuan was honoured with this year's Tokoh Wartawan Sabah award for his decades of service and strong sense of social responsibility. To all working journalists, he offered this advice: 'Never underestimate your role. Carry your sense of mission proudly. Be dedicated and passionate, strive constantly for excellence. Let your light shine, not only to brighten your own path, but to contribute to the progress of society and the advancement of civilisation.' Sixty Years on the Frontlines of the Press is available at The Borneo Shop in Wisma Merdeka for RM40.


Focus Malaysia
a day ago
- Focus Malaysia
Mainland China tourists learn how to eat with hands in heartwarming video
WHY should tradition and culture be a barrier towards racial unity? Although humans crave the comforts of the tribe and all its rituals, we are still bound by the invisible thread of camaraderie that makes up the centrepiece of humanity. Take it from a recent video, where several curious tourists from China could be seen learning how to eat with their hands from a patient Malay auntie. It is a very heartwarming video, showcasing the exchange of culture in such a candid fashion. Mungkin mudah untuk yang dah biasa. Bagusnya dia ajar cara makan nasi lemak pakai tangan. Ni mesti dari China ni. Elok lah tu belajar makan pakai tangan 👍🏻 — kamaghul deghaman (@kamaghul) July 21, 2025 One of the tourists even praised the Malay auntie, saying that they were very clean when using their hands to eat their meals. 'Like us, we do until whole hand dirty,' she said. But for those not in the know, eating with one's hand is not just a way of life. In Malaysia, eating with your hands is more than just a tradition. It is seen as a way to connect more deeply with the food. Many believe that using your fingers enhances the overall dining experience by engaging more of the senses, especially taste and texture. Typically, Malaysians eat with their right hand, as the left hand is traditionally viewed as unhygienic in Islamic practices, being used for personal cleansing. The method involves mixing the food, usually with rice, and skillfully using the fingers to bring it to the mouth. Most people rely on the thumb and first two fingers for this, while the other fingers stay curled in. In some cases, bread like roti canai is used to scoop up the food instead of the fingers. This practice isn't exclusive to Malay culture. In Indian communities, eating with the hands is also common and is thought to aid digestion and make meals more enjoyable. —July 22, 2025 Main image: @kamaghul (X)