We spent 11 years moving around Europe for my husband's job. It never felt like home, and I'm glad we're back in the US.

Business Insider

2 days ago

When my husband got the opportunity to transfer his job to Amsterdam, we were both in our early 30s, living in an apartment we owned in Brooklyn.
I'd always considered New York City my dream place to live, but living in Amsterdam seemed like too great an adventure to pass up.
So, in 2012, after 11 years in the city, we sold our apartment (our co-op didn't allow renters), put most of our belongings in storage, and agreed to try Europe out for two years.
After only a few weeks, I felt like we'd made the wrong choice.
We stayed in Europe for longer than we expected, even though it was far from easy
At first, we were thrilled about the move.
For less than the price of our Brooklyn mortgage, we were able to afford an entire furnished canal house on the Prinsengracht!
However, the high didn't last. My NYC-based editorial job had allowed me to work remotely, but not long after the move, they let me go and hired someone closer to home.
I also struggled to fit in. Even though nearly everyone in Amsterdam speaks English, their extreme bluntness made it difficult for me to make close friends. It may have been a cultural norm, but I wasn't used to it.
Despite much effort, I wasn't able to find a full-time job. Meanwhile, my husband got promoted at his. We were making Amsterdam work, but I wasn't completely happy.
Soon, our two-year stay in Amsterdam turned into three.
Then, my husband got the chance to move to London for his job. It felt like a fresh start and a chance for me to try to expand my social and professional circle.
Right before we moved, I learned I was pregnant with my first (and only) child. In London, my focus mainly became navigating the very different healthcare system, while continuing to freelance for companies back in the US.
Although I loved the history and culture of London, it always felt so temporary. I couldn't focus too much on building a life in the UK when I knew we wouldn't live there forever.
To try to make our international lives work, we made one more move — but it didn't last
After nearly two years in London, when my son was just over a year old, my husband got another job opportunity in Berlin.
We once again found a great place to live — a three-bed, two-bath apartment with a private roof deck, for a reasonable price — but faced similar challenges and new ones.
Although my son learned German at school, neither my husband nor I were able to become fluent, which made it more difficult to feel integrated into the community.
I also experienced health issues that were challenging to deal with in a foreign country with an unfamiliar healthcare system and a language barrier.
Although we'd been in Europe for over a decade at this point, living here wasn't getting much easier at all. Once my husband lost his job during the pandemic, we started planning our return to the States.
After 11 years in Europe, we're finally happily back in New York
As it turns out, international moves aren't always so glamorous — especially when they're mostly for your spouse's job, and you're left trying to figure out how you fit in.
It's now been two years since we returned to New York City and, for the most part, we're loving it.
We've reunited with friends, and life is easier to navigate in so many ways with a community and no language barrier. Most of our bills are higher, and we had to significantly downsize our housing, but feeling more like I belong is worth any price.
Although I don't regret the experiences we had in Europe (and definitely miss the ease of traveling to other countries), I'm happy to be home.