All the clues and theories about who Glastonbury's mystery Patchwork band is
For the uninitiated, the Glastonbury 2025 line-up with all the stage times dropped yesterday, three weeks before the Worthy Farm opens its gates for another year for headline shows by The 1975, Neil Young and Olivia Rodrigo.
Listed in the primetime slot of 6.15pm on Saturday June 28 on the coveted Pyramid Stage – between global superstar Raye and John Fogerty – is a mysterious band no one has ever heard of called Patchwork.
This is Glastonbury organisers' idea of a funny tease, which will end up being a famous band or musician's surprise set.
The same happened in 2023 when The Churn Ups turned out to be The Foo Fighters, who rocked out on the Pyramid Stage in what was an undisputed festival highlight.
But Patchwork is not just a random word: it's a riddle.
This is clear if The Churn Ups moniker was anything to go by; prior to Glastonbury 2023 fans linked it to the Foo Fighters, as lead singer Dave Grohl was in a band called Churn when he was a teenager.
An X account also started dropping Foo Fighters references in the lead up to the festival.
Now, an X account for Patchwork has also cropped up, so keep your eyes peeled for any hints in the coming weeks.
But for now, fans have their own ideas about who Patchwork could be…
Some fans think Harry Styles could be Patchwork, because, er, he wore a colourful patchwork cardigan once that everyone became obsessed with.
The As It Was hitmaker, 31, sparked a TikTok trend of fans recreating his colourful jumper, which he wore in February 2020 while rehearsing.
Tenuous, but possible…
Just like the Foo Fighters teased they were behind The Churn Ups mystery in June 2023 on their socials, Candida Doyle from Pulp mysteriously talked about her love of patchwork in a recent interview with Jo Whiley, which seems kinda' random.
'I used to do patchwork when I was on tour and I made a really nice bit of patchwork, that's all I can think of right now,' she said…
While it seems Pulp are rumoured most years for a Glastonbury surprise set, this year does seem feasible, as the Common People hitmakers have returned with their eighth studio album, More, scheduled to be released on June 6.
Before Patchwork was mentioned, US sisters Haim were rumoured to be heading for a secret set at Glastonbury this year, after BBC Radio star Lauren Laverne hinted as much in her BBC Radio show.
With their fourth album I Quit dropping in June after Women in Music Pt. II was released five years ago, it seems like a good time for Haim to descend on Worthy Farm.
The band has a long history with the festival, having first played in 2013, before slots in 2014, 2017 and 2022.
'They've got summer shows coming up, one is Dreamland Summer Series in Margate on June 27,' Lauren noted on BBC6 Music, before adding: 'What else is happening that weekend? It's a long way to come to go to Margate, not that Margate isn't great…'
Now the Patchwork clue is out, fans have pointed to a book of the same name by a writer called Sylvia Haim.
However, it seems a little bit of a stretch as they might not be enough of a big deal to warrant the Patchwork tease.
But that doesn't mean they won't fill one of the other secret set slots, simply billed at the moment as TBA.
Just as with Haim, actor Timothee Chalamet was rumoured to be performing a secret set of Bob Dylan songs before the Patchwork tease.
After he wowed critics with his performance as music icon Bob Dylan in the biopic A Complete Unknown, it was reported he is 'likely' to make a surprise appearance.
However, this was not thought to be a Pyramid Stage outing, but one for the Acoustic Stage on the Saturday night.
The Sun claimed he will appear alongside Dylan tribute band Not Completely Unknown.
While that all seems likely, now Patchwork is teased, fans can't help but think of the Blowin' In The Wind hitmaker's famous patchwork jacket, which featured on the cover of his 1976 album, Desire.
To add fuel to rumours, the Dune actor bought this very same patchwork jacket in March for over £20,000…
While Oasis have said they will not be performing at Glastonbury this year, it would be a very Oasis thing to turn up for a surprise set anyway, wouldn't it? More Trending
'Despite media speculation, Oasis will not be playing Glastonbury 2025 or any other festivals next year,' the brothers said in October.
After Noel and Liam Gallagher's years-long feud ended in a massive Oasis tour announcement last year, it's clear stranger things have happened.
Where does Patchwork come into this, you may ask…? Well, they patched things up, didn't they? Yeah, okay. Perhaps wishful thinking has got the better of us.
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MORE: Sir Rod Stewart, 80, cancels second concert over health 3 weeks before Glastonbury
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Daily Mail
an hour ago
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Aimee Lou Wood shares sweet loved-up snap with her boyfriend Adam Long as she documents her fun-filled Glastonbury weekend
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The Sun
2 hours ago
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Leftie BBC & Glasto is perfect meeting of mindless middle-class b***ends… and funded by millions of OUR licence fee cash
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At best, they're entourage members whose relentless sycophancy can collapse a whole segment in a gush of mutual grovelling, as was demonstrated by Jo Whiley and Raye on Saturday night. 'You're going to walk on that stage and just nail it.' 'Can I just say, you look so beautiful again.' 'You're gorgeous.' 'You're a vision.' 'Give me a hug.' As nauseating as their manner is, the thing that really repulses us about Glastonbury is the overwhelming hypocrisy which was showcased at the Shangri-La garden, on Saturday. An area previously dedicated to anti-capitalist protests, at the £400-a-pop weekend, where someone called Angie Bual explained this year's display was driven by the feeling 'trees and plants move over borders, through the sea and so do people and they bring diversity. So we celebrate biodiversity and multiculturalism,' while seated just a few metres away from Glastonbury's security fence. 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A lot of weasel words have followed since things came to an inevitable head at the weekend, including an apology from Glastonbury's nepo baby boss Emily Eavis, who said Pascal, 'crossed the line. There's no place for antisemitism, hate speech or incitement to violence at Glastonbury'. You have to ask, then, why did she book him and fellow cretins Kneecap who, with the best will in the world, were never going to encore with a cover version of Hava Nagila. We should take at face value, though, the pre-festival arrogance of her dad Michael Eavis, who clearly has zero understanding of public- service broadcasting or how its concept of neutrality works, but was at least being honest when he said anyone who disagrees with Glastonbury's politics: 'Can go somewhere else.' A bit rich, given that we fund the coverage. If Eavis has the remotest conscience about the Beeb, however, he'll understand it cannot go on playing whack-a-mole with all of this huge event's political crazies. No matter how many safeguards you put in place, it's a game they cannot win, and if the BBC is to survive at all it's Glastonbury that needs to go 'somewhere else' and hopefully crawl back under the rock where it truly belongs. You've delighted us long enough, thanks very much. ISLE OF CHATTER POXES . . . ONE surprising result of the Glastonbury fallout is that it's helped me see Love Island in a slightly new light, on the grounds that the ITV2 crowd does at least feature one vaguely likeable human being. He is Tommy, the 22-year-old landscape gardener, from Herts, who's thoughtful, honest, faithful and almost totally invisible to most of the girls, who prefer to throw themselves at one of the villa's many arseholes, helping to create a series of love triangles and set a pattern for the entire summer. Coupled-up Harrison very publicly kisses third-party Helena, so angry partner Toni asks: 'Can I pull you for a chat?' A scene witnessed by a hurt Helena who feels compelled to pull her love rival for 'a chat', thereby also forcing Harrison to pull Helena for 'a chat'. A 'final' clear-the-air moment that's followed by Toni pulling her for another chat, which then requires Harrison to pull devastated Toni for a clarification chat, where they end up kissing, leaving Helena with no other option than to ask Harrison: 'Can I pull you for a chat?' And so on and so on and so on. With almost no prospect of this hall of mirrors process ending any time soon. 'Cos I am reluctant to suggest the Love Island blokes are all irredeemably hormone-crazed and stupid, however . . . Harrison has spent his entire adult life pronouncing the word 'ar-chive' as if it's a herb, and Ben thinks a posh menu is called 'Aled Carte', which it may well be at a French/Welsh fusion restaurant. But, in the name of the big man, before they're back in public circulation, I'd be very grateful if someone could pull them both for 'a chat'. TV Gold THE slow-burning horror of BBC4's Storyville: The Srebrenica Tape. The much-missed Doddie Weir bringing the house down on Sky Sports' repeat of Living With Lions. The Glastonbury performances of Nile Rodgers, Ezra Collective and Neil Young doing Harvest Moon, that not even the venue and sound quality could ruin. And Netflix's masterpiece Dept Q, which featured some of the best acting of the year, from Matthew Goode, left, as DCI Carl Morck and managed to go nine whole episodes without a single outbreak of overbearing political correctness. Another series would be hugely appreciated. Random TV irritations THE surprisingly large number of political commentators who've failed to spot the rather obvious signs Angela Rayner is a complete moron. BBC staff giving Carlos Alcaraz's name the Daffy Duck treatment in an attempt to sound Spanish. And the horrendous lyrics accompanying Wilkinson Sword's new 'hairy truth' advert for its Intuition razor: 'Nips, lips, some on the back. Knees, toes, six on the crack.' Crotch rash, grazes, pubic inflammation. You've just given us too much information. Lookalike of the week Sent in by Shane Allen, of Denbigh. Deborah Meaden: 'If only the world could live like Glastonbury, we'd be a lot happier.' Big Weekend, Alison Hammond: 'For 50 years, Lenny Henry's made people laugh.' Good Morning Britain, Kate Garraway: 'Russell Kane says so many funny things happen to him he's got too much material.' And there's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis. Meanwhile, back on his Kiwi Adventure, Noel Edmonds: 'We've got to appreciate that we are surrounded by this sort of mist of invisible energy. 'One of the limitations of the human form is that we can't see it, but your cat and your dog can see it. 'There are so many people who think you're crazy if you talk this way about a rock having energy, but. . . .' NURSE! Sunday , the ITV2 continuity announcer: 'Are you looking for a brand spanking new comedy from Jordan Gray?' Then cut out the middle man and call 116 123. It's the Samaritans you need.
