'Jurassic World Rebirth' movie review: Dinos still rule over rickety plot
With 'Jurassic World Rebirth' (★★½ out of four; rated PG-13; in theaters July 2), that song – specifically, the roar of a hungry T. rex – remains the same, although director Gareth Edwards at least tries something different by throwing a heist movie into the usual perilous adventure. But homages to Steven Spielberg's 1993 original, a starry cast (including Scarlett Johansson, Jonathan Bailey and Oscar winner Mahershala Ali) and dinos aplenty can only do so much when saddled with generic characters and a rickety plot.
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Some time has passed since Chris Pratt and Jeff Goldblum led an epic team-up in 'Jurassic World Dominion.' The planet's environmental conditions have proven unkind to the prehistoric animals unleashed all over the world, while humanity has pretty much lost all interest in these majestic creatures. That's the setup for one heck of a thought-provoking movie but why do that when we can return to a lush remote island (again) for more dangerous shenanigans (again).
Shady pharmaceutical guy Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend) is in need of live dino DNA to produce a potential miracle cure for heart disease. He taps covert operative Zora Bennett (Johansson) to lead a team and help paleontologist Henry Loomis (Bailey) to snag some blood from three giant species: one each from land, sea and air.
On a boat captained by Zora's good-hearted pal Duncan Kincaid (Ali), they head to a former research facility near the equator – where dinos thrive – and rescue a vacationing family that's been marooned in the Atlantic Ocean by a mosasaur. That ends up complicating the narrative as they separate and 'Rebirth' turns into two movies: Zora and Co. on their genetic mission, and the other folks trying not to get eaten by various toothy critters.
One positive to that lack of focus means more screen time with different dinos, which really is the main reason why anybody's going to watch this movie outside of Bailey's new 'Wicked' superfans. Of all the human roles, his Loomis is the only one that seems like someone put some thought into the character. He's a throwback to the days of Sam Neill's Alan Grant, a smart dude who much like the audience sees the dinos for how awesome they are.
And they are really cool. The T. rex is back, of course, and gets pretty irked when woken up from a nap. A baby Aquilops named Dolores is the most adorable little thing ever. The mosasaur has henchman spinosaurs – a nice touch – while a titanosaurus couple shares a loving moment (which gets interrupted by some pesky humans). There's also a new big bad dino called the D. rex (or Distortus rex, if you're fancy), a mutated monster that looks like a combo of the Elephant Man and a T. rex. It's got a large set of arms and an extra set of tiny arms to go with its ginormous forehead.
Most of the time you'll be rooting for those guys over the humans. (And if you want to see some people get eaten rather viciously, you're in luck!) Edwards has a penchant for large spectacle movies with a big budget and a bigger message (see: 'Godzilla,' 'Rogue One'), and while this 'Rebirth' isn't exactly a thinking man's 'Jurassic,' there's enough B-movie craziness to keep it enjoyable.
This franchise probably should have been extinct a while ago. We're stuck with it, though, so might as well go with the pterosaur flow.
How to watch 'Jurassic World Rebirth'
"Jurassic World Rebirth" is in theaters July 2 and is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association "for intense sequences of violence/action, bloody images, some suggestive references, language and a drug reference." The six previous "Jurassic" movies are all streaming on Peacock.
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