25 Life Lessons You Only Learn With Age
"I thought being in my 30s was a death sentence when I was younger, but now, I have come to appreciate the mental stability that comes with being older. You are more confident and sure of yourself. You can handle emergency situations more rationally. Thank God I made it out of my 20s without dying or going to prison."
"'The mind is willing, but the body is lacking.' It's a true statement: You can't always do the things you did when you get old."
"Sex gets better with age."
—Anonymous
"It may sound obvious, but people in your life matter more than you think. I spent a lot of time viewing myself as an introvert who went out but didn't need to. I saw myself as someone who maybe had a chip on my shoulder, feeling like I didn't need people. I've had times of true isolation — one time due to COVID and one time when I lost my only friend and my girlfriend in the same month. It's the people in your life who help give it meaning who matter. Whether it's shared hobbies, just hanging out, adventures, or holidays together... those moments that we look forward to give life a sweet richness that no movie or novel can reproduce. In short, I realized that people and your relationships with them matter more than you imagine. Invest in the people you like/love."
"That even if you're the greatest, kindest person in the world, there will always be some asshole who has an issue with you. You can't please everyone."
"If you aren't actively working towards a goal/changing things, you're just accepting it. Bitching and moaning about fairness or the problems between you and said goal get you nowhere."
"The people who you thought knew everything when you were a kid don't know shit."
—Anonymous
"Your body is the most important thing. Health is wealth. Money comes and goes, but your body will be with you until you die. Take care of what you have."
"No one owes you anything."
—Anonymous
"That everyone is different. Not everyone thinks the same as you. People are the way they are because of the way their lives have developed them. This has given me a greater understanding of people's intricacies and actually makes me feel closer to them, not further. It was a massive 'oh' moment for me, and I wish everyone thought like this, but they don't because everyone is different, and that's okay."
—Anonymous
"The vast majority of adults don't know what the fuck they're doing, but they need to pretend that they do."
"Life is actually really short. My grandad always said he went to sleep a young man and awoke an old man. I never understood what he meant until one day I no longer saw my dad as the tough and powerful man he once was... He's now frail and vulnerable, and it feels like it happened overnight. It is scary knowing I am next."
"Looks don't matter, confidence does. Most things in life you have to do by and for yourself."
"Don't be negative — stay away from negative people or situations. Don't spend your life working, especially for someone else's benefit. Enjoy the simple things, like a morning coffee outside or sitting on a quiet bench. Make time for your family and loved ones."
"I can do so many things on my own and feel joyful."
"Don't sweat the small stuff. When I was younger, I stressed about everything. Now, if I can get it done, fine. If not, then I'll do it another day."
"Don't waste your time or energy arguing with idiots."
"Time is more valuable than money. Stop worrying about what people think about you. Nobody is thinking about you, only themselves."
—Anonymous
"How much time I wasted worrying."
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26 Random People Ruining Relationships
Reddit user heyjalapeno asked the community, "Couples who broke up because of a third person that did not involve cheating, what happened?" Well, folks revealed that it truly doesn't take cheating on someone to end a good relationship. It can be an outsider intruding on a good thing, which personally makes my blood BOIL. So, here are some partnerships that were destroyed by an unwelcoming third party: "My dad's girlfriend has broken up my fiancé and I twice. We used to live/work with them on and off while we were both in school. The first time we broke things off, she tried to convince my fiancé that I was some deadbeat asshole. I admit my priorities weren't where they should've been (I was working two jobs, including one with them, and was a full-time student). After breaking things off, my fiancé and I talked about what happened, and decided we just needed a step back to reflect. We did well for a few years, but then my dad's girlfriend convinced my fiancé that she was bipolar (possibly schizophrenic)." "I was dating a divorced single mom, and her ex-husband was petty as all hell. Any time we had something special planned, he would decide that was the perfect time to drum up drama, discuss amending their coparenting agreement, and so on. She was a good mom, but had no boundaries where her ex was concerned. After several months, I realized that our relationship was third in line behind her kids and her ex. Kids coming first is fine, but that wasn't for me — so I kindly broke it off. We never spoke again, so I do not know if she ever enacted reasonable boundaries (or if he is still sabotaging her to this day)." "My ex-boyfriend and I broke up because of his ex-wife. They were separated, moving towards divorce, when he and I met. She ran off with his best friend, so there was no chance of a reconciliation. But over the almost year and a half that he and I dated, he was never able to set boundaries with her or hold her accountable. She financially ruined him, opening cards in his name to fund her affair, but he wouldn't report fraud. She stopped paying on her car, which was in his name, and when the license plates and tags showed up in the mail, he just handed them over to her. She took his dog in the separation, but any time she wanted to dip out of town, she would leave the dog with him for free pet sitting, regardless of his availability to accommodate. So on and so forth." "I'm a nurse. My ex's grandfather made some sickening comments about me giving him a sponge bath and how I should wear the 'little nurse's outfit.' I told my ex and his father about how he made me really uncomfortable, and they laughed, saying, 'That's just how he is!' For Thanksgiving, he patted me on the butt, calling me his 'naughty little nurse.' I hope he rots." "A family friend and his wife split up over her mother's psychic. Her mother went to a psychic all the time and basically trusted her with every life decision, so the daughter trusted her too. At one stage, after the daughter and her husband were happily married for eight years and had two sons, the psychic told her mother that one of her children was being cheated on. The mother was convinced it was this daughter's husband. The daughter confronted him and he told her it was nonsense, but she wouldn't let it go. She started following him to work, checking his phone and email, and even went to his best friend's home begging him to tell her about the affair. After a few months of this, he told her she needed therapy or he was leaving. She refused, so he left. He met someone else a few years later and they married and are very happy." "I was in a long-distance relationship with the eldest son of a family from the South of Italy for three years. I am not Italian. (Italians reading this probably already know where this is going.) We met in Milan when I was there for work and he was visiting friends. We would try to meet once a month in my country and different cities in Italy. After some time, he invited me to meet his family, and we started to stay at his family's house. To say his mother wasn't a fan is an understatement (I loved his dad, though — great man). I didn't really speak Italian — I took lessons, but their accent made it hard to follow. She would occasionally burst into our room, screaming her head off at me in Italian (I was a deer in headlights), hide or take my stuff, and just make things difficult. Knowing that we would have to take her in later in life (him being the eldest son and traditions being what they are) made it easier for me when it ended." "My ex's mom hated me. I'd just turned 18 and never had a relationship before. He was my first everything. I shyly told his mom that he was my first boyfriend when I met her over dinner three months into our relationship. I had a cut on my lip that night because it was winter, and my lips had gotten dry. She pulled my ex aside to ask if we were using protection because she assumed it was a herpes sore." "My goddaughter, who I cared for since she was one and who is like my own child. Her family situation is a bit difficult, so things are not always very reliable or planable. My ex was mostly annoyed by this and we had endless discussions, but it's just not in my hand to change my goddaughter's family situation, nor was it an option for me to care less for her. Eventually I broke up with her because of all the arguments, I'm still sorry for it because apart from that we got along great. I still don't understand why this was such a huge deal to him. I see my goddaughter maybe twice a week, so it's not that I'm away because of her all the time. For context, we're both in our late forties, and I still don't get why we hadn't been able to handle this better. Some things don't get easier with age." "I was in a relationship about two years ago — my ex was in a cult. They had a methodology of putting the young members in touch with older women who would act as mother figures. They'd try to tell them good from bad, and how to practice it. My ex was brainwashed so bad by this group that all aspects of his life were being affected, and he was oblivious to it. I tried raising my concerns against this 'woman,' and he got so fucking defensive that she was like a mother to him. We broke up after that for a variety of reasons, but him being spineless was the majority of it. Later when I shared the entire story of this with my friend, she sent me a link about the cult." "The girl best friend acted more like a toxic mother-in-law than a friend of a grown man. I only met her briefly once, so she had no reason to dislike me. But she threw a fit when he gave me a key (a big romantic moment for us), and she planted doubt in his head that he was moving too fast. We got pregnant, and she told him I wasn't actually pregnant, and it wasn't his baby if I was. She also planted doubt and made him extremely distant for the first three months of our first pregnancy. Later, we were dealing with postpartum during our third child, and she convinced him I was controlling and ruined all of his friendships. All of his friendships were ruined by three infants/toddlers??? I didn't care if he hung out with friends. She never came to visit, never brought gifts for the kids, never tried to know me, but she had weird overly affectionate pet names for my kids because she 'loved anything that was part of him.'" "His grandma was racist and just a hateful woman. He wouldn't consider a life where he didn't live with her. Turns out she bankrolled his whole life, and he spent her money while telling me it was his. I asked him to consider moving in with me, and he said any future we have together is going to be us living with her. Nope." "At a party, I asked a couple, 'How's it going living together?' The guy responded, 'Fine — it's not my first time living with someone, so we're doing great.' However, when he said that, the girl gave him a death stare. They had a fight and left the party. The next day, the girl came to the party venue and told us that she had broken up with him. She revealed that the guy had a son with another girl, but he had lied to her, claiming he didn't live with the child's mother." "My ex and I met online, and her mom in particular didn't trust me whatsoever because of her meeting me online. This was after we had already met and hung out a number of times. Her dad was cool with me and would talk with me all the time, but her mom wouldn't let me inside ever. One night my ex and her dad convinced her mom to let me come over for dinner. Her mom would not let me out of her sight for even a second, and kept asking me questions almost like she was trying to catch me in a lie or something. Her dad offered me to sleep on the couch, but her mom refused and made me sleep out in the back. Never went back there even when her dad invited me back." "This was back in 2016 when I still had a leftover private Twitter account from high school. Someone I didn't recognize followed me, and I accepted. A couple of weeks later, some new and random Instagram account messaged my boyfriend screenshots from my private Twitter. Nothing out of the ordinary — just venting about young relationship stuff. But, the ONLY person that the account was following was his roommate. Roomie tried to create a wedge, and maybe it did influence my ex, 'cause he dumped me a month or two later. But it was interesting that my ex wasn't convinced it was the roommate. The roommate wasn't popular on Insta or anything, so to me, there was no other person it could be. Plus, the roomie hated me! But joke's on them because that breakup was the best thing to ever happen to me 😏." "My soon-to-be ex-husband wouldn't stop accusing me of cheating on him with my best friend. We are both female and have never done anything to cause him to think that. He seems to think I'm divorcing him because he was right and I must have cheated. Absolutely delusional." "He was a regular at her bar, would help her out when it got busy, and sat and chatted constantly. He would be 'buddy-buddy' when I was there to help out or visit, and have a beer when it was slow. But, as soon as I left, he would badmouth me. When you hear it every day, constantly, you start to believe it. Long story short, the relationship ended, he was the 'good guy' and I wasn't. She 'gave him a chance' but found out he was a slug, and apologized to me profusely for everything. She reached out and tried to clear my name to those mutuals she badmouthed me to, and moved closer to her parents to 'restart.' The guy ended up marrying one of his friend's girlfriends." "I dated a guy for three years who, despite graduating first in his class, double bachelor's in Business and Accounting from a private college, and holding down a full-time job, lived on a farm with his parents and younger brother. He was 42 when we met. I was an idiot in love with a guy who put me near the top of his priorities, right beneath god, his specific Catholic church, his mom, his dad, his brother, and the farm. Unless, of course, he wanted to mess around, then most of that was abandoned..." "Her nine-year-old son was a brat and would bully other kids. We went to a birthday party, and he punched another kid — I got mad at him and made him sit with me for the rest of the party. Well, his mom lost her shit and told me I wasn't allowed to discipline her son because I wasn't his father. I broke up with her right there, and I'm glad I did — her kid ended up in juvie for stabbing someone." "My ex and I recently broke up because I had a problem with her texting a friend from work from morning to night. She would text him all the time and I said it made me uncomfortable and we would get into huge fights over it. I explained to her that I wanted to work on our texting and connecting months prior. She choose to do it with somebody from work. So, three years down the drain because of a friend from work." "A toxic friend who openly prided herself on ruining 'relationships that shouldn't work out'. Really, she just took my ex-fiancé out and spewed toxic nonsense in her ear about how I'm 'not doing enough for her' and she 'should look elsewhere.'" "I had a boyfriend who was extremely insecure. His bros kept telling him he could do better than me because I was not 'conventionally attractive.' He dropped me because of their advice. I guess he found out he was not the 'chick magnet' he thought he was. He begged me to take him back, but I said I didn't want anyone who was so easily led and flakey (this was a 35-year-old man)." "My 30-year-old partner of eight years joined a band with some 20-year-olds. They convinced him that they will never get 'big' if they have long-term partners holding them back. Twenty years later, they're still not big, and he never made it as a musician." "Single coworkers ruined us. We married young and had two kids by the time we were 23. I was working 55–60 hours a week, and her only friends were her four coworkers who were single and in their early twenties. A once-a-week girls night out became two nights, then happy hours added, then a girls weekend. It became a toxic pattern. She stopped talking to her parents who saw it developing as well. She left when our kids were four and six years old, packed her stuff, and moved in with one of her coworkers. Once the kids got into high school, she suddenly wanted to be involved with them." "Her roommate was jealous that my girlfriend was in a relationship and she wasn't. She undermined everything for months until they were away together for a couple days. As soon as my girlfriend was back in town, she called me to end it. Everything she said in the breakup didn't make sense because it was all from the perspective of the roommate." "This was my girlfriend back when I was a teenager. She would constantly talk about her best friend and how great he was. She was genuinely in love with him, but wouldn't admit it. So I asked him what he thought about her, and he was also in love with my girlfriend. So, I went to my girlfriend the next day and broke up, and had a little fight over it. I told her all about how I knew she was in love with her best friend, but was too afraid to ask him out because she feared he didn't reciprocate and didn't want to ruin the friendship. Then I told her that he was also in love with her and feared the same thing. That was 15 years ago, and I know they're still together. I'm happy for them." And finally, "Not just a third person, but a whole friend group. They knew everything about me (even though I didn't share much about myself). If my partner and I had an argument, they knew. If I was out with friends? They knew. I was on my period? They knew. I had a bad day at work? They knew. Sex life, or lack of (we had only dated a few weeks) — they knew. They would start showing up at my usual hangouts to 'keep an eye on things' because they didn't like that my friend group was co-ed. I would be downtown and happen to 'run into them.' I would be at work and see them walking by multiple times a day. I understand sharing things with your friends, but there's a line. When your friends are just as involved in the relationship as your S.O., it causes issues fast. Take a clingy boyfriend, multiply that by six, and it's terrifying."
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People Who Got Divorced After 10+ Years Of Marriage Are Sharing Why, And My Heart Is Heavy
When you get hitched, you'd like to think it's 'til death do you part, but sometimes happily ever after isn't in the cards. Reddit user sakiliya asked, "Divorcees who were married over a decade: what ended your marriage?" Here are the most heartbreaking stories: 1."We were roommates. Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to me." —u/reedzilla76 2."After 12 years and three kids, I caught her having an affair. Her response? Why can't you just be happy that I found someone I like?" —u/AleWatcher 3."Me. I was growing apart from her, but I never brought it up. Never talked to her about it. Didn't try to change it. She did everything right, and I was a bad husband." —u/armymdic00 4."My ex-wife thought I was her competition. Every time I made something good happen for us, she thought it was an attack against her." —u/GlumClerk9785 5."I grew. He didn't. Our original relationship dynamic didn't work anymore." —u/CautiousSwordfish 6."I ended up realizing I wasn't just married to him, I was also married to his mother." —u/Riyeko 7."After 12 years, she decided that 'in sickness and in health' no longer applied to her." —u/RealSharpNinja 8."No dates, no vacations, no solo time together, no compliments, no romance. I slowly, over time, lost the energy to try to fight for us. I can't live the rest of my life without ever being taken dancing…" —u/FleurSea 9."He was nicer to other people, constantly blamed me for his issues, didn't take any accountability, and I was over it. I didn't want to live the remainder of my life that way." —u/Humble_Ad4397 10."I was the only one trying, and I decided to stop trying too." —u/MissingMagnolia 11."Textbook 'grew apart.' Looking back, I realize I married someone whose core values weren't compatible with mine. At the time, I saw myself as easygoing and adaptable, so I figured we could overcome those differences, because love conquers all, right? Spoiler alert, no, it doesn't. In reality, I spent two decades losing my identity. We both felt very alone in our relationship and ultimately could not repair the distance." —u/CatNapCate 12."Married for 15 years. We weren't right for each other from the beginning, but we had kids, and we didn't want to hurt them by getting divorced. I often describe my first marriage as being like a plane that was doomed to crash, and it just took a long time to find a place to put it down gently." —u/wejustdontknowdude 13."We started being an open marriage, and she forgot to tell me." —u/TheEndless89 14."Workaholic habits. Great provider, lousy spouse." —u/Rare-Group-1149 15."I think divorces are like motorcycle accidents in that there is not one, but a combination of things that, without only one or two, might happen differently. The moment that truly ended it for me was when my ex-wife was so offended that she screamed at our therapist and accused him of being unprofessional and unethical for saying that we shouldn't get divorced." —u/gduba 16."Our daughter was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I discovered my partner was trying to start a new replacement family on the side." —u/RetroDadOnReddit 17."The slow fade of intimacy. We stopped talking around year 12. Became more like roommates who occasionally shared a bed. Tried counseling for two years, but you can't force someone to want to connect." —u/Charming3-Angel 18."I never planned to get divorced! Six months after the fact, I found out he took all our savings and bought a farm. He told me I wasn't welcome there, and he might move a girlfriend in with him someday. So divorce it was." —u/amyayou 19."Letting all the small things get swept under the rug instead of working through them. Ignoring major red flags because of love. We were different people after 10 years of growth." —u/Square-Heat-3758 20."We stopped being teammates and started feeling like opponents." —u/MohammadAbir Divorced people, what ended your marriage? Share your story in the comments or using the anonymous form below.
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"You Should Never Allow This": Men Are Revealing What They Secretly Believe Are The Most Common Mistakes Women Make In Relationships, And There's A Lot To Unpack Here
It's totally normal for people to make mistakes. After all, we can learn a lot when things go wrong. But when I saw strawberryduck404 ask, "What are common mistakes women make in relationships?" in the r/AskMen subreddit a few days ago, I wanted to share their responses to see what you think. Here are some of the top answers below. 1."The most common mistake I've seen is women dating men with the intention of changing them into someone else. Date people you like instead of people you think you can turn into people you like." —Esseratecades 2."You are not the prize. He is not the prize. The relationship is the prize." —thecountnotthesaint 3."Taking relationship advice from friends who are single, divorced, or unable to stay in long-term relationships." —Queasy-Grass4126 4."In general, women tend to communicate more by hints, subtext, tone of voice, and body language than men do. This can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. If you want him to know something, the best approach is to tell him with words." —bh4th "Yes, communicate clearly, say exactly what you mean, so they then do the thing you want, and not guess or assume. Also, things like expecting or demanding empathy, then telling the guy to man up when he's in a situation that requires empathy from you, when you've experienced that, it changes you as a person. When you have children, treat everyone in the family equally, don't make the man feel like he's on the outside when it comes to important things like health, empathy, love, respect, and compassion." —altredticklshwarrior 5."Not allowing him to have his own interests, hobbies, and alone time. We don't hate you because we don't want to spend every waking hour with you. We need space as well." —MashedTomat1 6."Letting your insecurities play havoc and kill it." —ColdCamel7 7."Don't compare your relationship to one you see online; they aren't you, and most of the time, it's put on anyway. I had a relationship go downhill because she started comparing us to relationships she had seen on TikTok and started complaining that I wasn't buying her flowers every day like this random TikTok couple, like bouquets aren't expensive, and I'm made of money or something." —CrudeCardinal 8."This might be more my own thing, but it could apply to others: Reward the behavior you want to see profusely with compliments or thank you notes, hugs, etc. However, it should be verbal, tying your appreciation to whatever the act was." "I say this because some relationships I had started to lose steam, and I think a lot of it was because she expected me to initiate a lot (in the bedroom and out), which is fine, but there has to be a lot of positive feedback when things are going right, or that behavior will fade." —Jetpine9 9."Making assumptions instead of just talking to him. For example, he's not ignoring you; he probably just didn't hear you." —adhdBoomeringue 10."Accepting attention from other men. You should never allow this. Never share sexual information about him with your girlfriends. Never complain about him to your girlfriends; complain to him, then work to fix the issue with him." —BasebornBastard 11."One common mistake is losing yourself in the relationship. People tend to put so much focus on their partner's needs that they forget their own. I find that it often comes from love, but over time, it can lead to burnout or feeling like you're performing instead of just being present. (I learned this the hard way.) If anything, don't shape yourself around how men see things. Shape yourself around what's true for you, and build a rhythm with your partner from there. Don't strive to be perfect, just to be real and present." —Defiant_Sir767 "Great advice. I also learned this the hard way, and was burned pretty badly as a result. It's important to have shared hopes and dreams that are made up from both halves, regardless of how firm each person is in what they want." —VolcanicAsh1586 12."The biggest mistake I see on social media is: 'He should think like me.' Men don't know what it's like to be a woman. We don't know what it's like to have cramps, be on a period, have a vagina, or female instincts. Most men aren't even going to try to guess what being female is like. Yet, I see post after post from women who are miserable in their relationships, thinking they understand what it's like to be a man, and he should know what I'm thinking. While women who are happy in their relationships acknowledge they have no idea what it's like to walk around with a thing dangling from your crotch, testosterone running through your body, and having a male brain that just doesn't work like a female brain." —artnodiv 13."Hopping into a new relationship shortly after a messy breakup, thinking it will fix everything. It won't, and we get sick of hearing every sentence start with 'My ex…'" —bounty_hunter_68 14."Belittling, weaponizing, and insulting his vulnerabilities. Also, sharing this with other people without his consent. Not including a therapist, of course." —Deep-Youth5783 finally, "Tolerating a loser." —insonobcino Men, is there a common mistake you often see women make? Or if you're a woman, tell us what you think the most common mistake men make when it comes to dating, too. Share your answers either anonymously in the Google Form or directly in the comments below.
