I've been in a long-distance relationship for six years — I don't want to commit

Metro

20-06-2025

Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Braxton*, 37, a high school teacher and freelance writer living in Phoenix, Arizona.
He met his partner, 42-year-old Hannah*, in March 2019 when they both lived in Portland, and the pair have been on and off for the past six years.
'We have at times dated other people, and since I moved from Portland to Chicago in 2020 for graduate school, we see each other only a few times a year, usually around Thanksgiving and Christmas,' Braxton tells Metro.
'Because we're very different (in our habits, in our social and political outlooks), we aren't compatible enough to live together, and we don't consider ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend.
'I tried meeting women in Arizona through Tinder and Bumble, but I've only been physically intimate with Hannah the past two years.'
The pair talk a lot on the phone and like to meet up when Hannah travels from her home in Nevada back to Portland for work, usually booking a hotel together.
'A big part of our relationship is laughing and being silly,' adds Braxton. 'When we aren't together, Hannah masturbates, but I haven't in four years, to focus on writing.'
As you can imagine, there's some pent up sexual tension. So without further ado, here's how Braxton got on this week…
Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom?
Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us!
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work .
My day begins at a hotel in downtown Phoenix, where I've been covering a fan convention for a local independent weekly since Friday. I pack up, and take a rideshare thirty miles out into the suburbs, where I live.
I go to the gym shortly after returning home, then work on my articles and pack until late evening.
Hannah calls at about 9pm, having just checked into the Portland hotel where we're about spend the week together (she paid for this, since my teacher's salary means even paying for food during the trip will be more than I can afford).
While I pack, we talk about our intentions to try having sex in the car, which we've never done. I ask which outfits she's bringing, and she's not sure since she's gained a lot of weight in the last two years, so a lot of her clothes don't fit anymore.
When Hannah asks what I think about her weight gain, I say it's fine; I like squeezing her 'jelly' (her word) while we're having sex. But the more nuanced answer is she's less visually attractive now compared to a few years ago.
However, there's something primal and satisfying about grabbing her large bottom, feeling her large, heavy breasts smashing into my face and her big thighs wrapped around me.
On the call, Hannah gets aroused talking about it, and we laugh about how she has gotten wet enough that she has to change clothes after the call.
I arrive in Portland at 9.30am and pick up the rental car. I've packed about three dozen absorbent incontinence pads, which we put down during sex because Hannah gets wet and squirts when aroused and orgasming.
When we meet that evening, we kiss briefly in the parking lot and drive back to the hotel. She's wearing a denim dress, and I feel her bare leg up while driving.
Back at the hotel, Hannah showers and comes into the room with a towel wrapped around. She suggests I mash her breasts (I say mash because she likes it vigorous and doesn't like the word fondle, which she thinks sounds like a molestation word) through the towel and we see how long we can hold off before having sex.
We turn to face the mirror while I do just that. After a few minutes, Hannah puts some pads on the floor, and places one leg up on the bed as I reach around and finger her from behind.
After she comes, she places more fresh pads on on the bed, lies on her back, and asks me to give it to her. She places a vibrating cock ring between us, though not over my penis because we find this setup awkward.
I begin slowly and speed up when she asks me to finish inside her, which I do. We lie there for a few minutes before Hannah gets up to shower and I wipe myself down.
After Hannah showers, we sit on the bed, and as we're eating dinner, she tells me how she lost her virginity at 36, on Easter Sunday. It's not the first time we've spoken about it and I know she waited because of her family's conservative values and her self-consciousness.
Hannah, as is her habit, has set several morning alarms. We wake and cuddle. I'm tired and not getting much of an erection; Hannah says she's aroused, but isn't getting wet and either forgot to pack lube or has already misplaced it.
She gets on top with her breasts in my face, then switch to me on top with her legs wrapped around my back and me feeling at her thighs.
Afterwards, we realise we'd neglected to put a pad down, so when we get up, there's a wet spot on the sheets.
Hannah asks me to drop her off close to her office, but not right at the door, because she doesn't want her colleagues to ask questions.
During the day I buy some supplies at Target (including lube and nail polish remover) and meet my parents – who are on their way to the airport for a trip to Europe – for a late lunch.
I pick Hannah up from work, then we drive to a nearby strip mall so she can look for clothes, before we get takeout and head back to the hotel.
We were planning on driving to a secluded area after sunset have sex in the rental car, but Hannah goes out to call her friends, and I stay in the room to read. She's gone long enough that I drift off.
She comes in late and very high, touching my penis roughly, in a way that isn't sexy. She talks manically and nonsensically for half an hour, so we call off having sex and go to sleep.
We talk very little in the morning as I drop Hannah off at her office.
I meet a friend at the park in the afternoon and don't leave to pick up Hannah until after 5pm, so she meets me at the hotel.
We talk about the previous night, with me explaining how unsettling it is to be around her when she's high and that the way she touches me is unpleasant. She tears up and asks if we should get separate rooms or if I feel safe.
I say that's unnecessary but that I don't feel sexy and don't want to have sex tonight.
We wake at one of Hannah's earlier alarms and cuddle. She starts rubbing my chest, then asks me to take off my shorts so she can go lower.
I remove the shorts, and she starts stroking my penis with lube. I'm soon erect, and she gets on top, asking if I like all that jelly — I say I do. After she comes, she gets on her back and wraps her legs around my back until I do too.
I pick Hannah up after work and we return to the hotel to change before driving to a large independent bookstore downtown, stopping to pick up takeout on the way.
We discuss trying to find a good car sex spot tonight, but I feel restless having not read or written much today. We go back to the hotel, where I read and Hannah putters around the room, before going to sleep without having sex, which is fine by me.
Today is our last full day together.
We have a morning bonk, doing the same positions as yesterday.
After stopping at Starbucks and make some double entendre jokes about vegan sausages and venti drinks, I drop her off at her office.
I see a friend before dropping Hannah at the spa with her pals, before going to meet another good friend of mine.
I return to the hotel at about 10.30pm, and Hannah arrives shortly thereafter.
We get into bed with the lights off and begin cuddling, then Hannah climbs on top. She comes, but I'm getting worn out and seem unable to climax from intercourse at this point in the week. I ask Hannah to use her hand, so she straddles me and strokes my penis as I squeeze her thighs until I orgasm.
She lies down on me for a while before going to the bathroom to shower. We discuss how we want to have sex in the morning and decide to wake up early to do it at least once.
We'd planned to wake early to bonk, and my alarm goes off at 5.30am, but we fall back to sleep and don't wake until 7am, missing the opportunity. More Trending
Right before it's time to leave, I try on some shirts I bought recently so Hannah can comment on the fit and patterns. We drop off the rental car and race each other, Hannah on the moving sidewalks and escalators and me walking and taking the stairs. I wait with her at the bag check, then we kiss goodbye.
I don't feel sad at this moment but that's because neither of us want this relationship to be more than it is. We enjoy sex with each other, and enjoy laughing and being silly together — but even after a few days together, things can get strained.
I take the hotel shuttle back to the room and pack up. Hannah calls to say she missed her flight because she was in the bathroom with her earbuds in and missed the announcements.
View More »
I take a rideshare to meet my friend on the other side of town, not knowing when I'll see Hannah again.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [e-mail].
MORE: I uncovered my husband's dirty secret while he was in a coma
MORE: I thought I was confident in my body — then I got my first girlfriend
MORE: I dumped ex for being boring in bed — but my new girlfriend's sex fantasy is too much